back to article Loud sex ASBO woman back on the job

The Tyne and Wear woman earlier this year spared jail for breaching an ASBO requiring her to refrain from unnaturally loud sex has been cuffed after once again failing to put a sock in it. Caroline Cartwright, 49, was handed an eight-week sentence, suspended for 12 months, for three breaches of the order designed to protect …


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  1. Richard 81

    Two words

    Ball. Gag.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward


      ... for her neighbours.

      That'll stop them snitching, nosy prudes.

  2. Richard 81

    Seriously though.

    This does sound a bit unfair now. Are they expected to check into some cheap hotel every time they want maritals?

    Might this even be encroaching on the realms of a breach in Human Rights?

    1. Reading Your E-mail


      Who's rights?

      The two wanting to go for it or the poor sods who have to hear it.

      I think you might want to read the article though, you seem to be getting confused with screaming their heads off and going at it like rabbits. The beak isn't telling her to turn into a nun, just to shut the hell up.

      1. Richard 81


        I already read it. It's putting a strain on their marriage because they can't do it enough. She even moved her bed to the dinning room. Pardon me for showing a bit of compassion!

        Screw it, read my first post instead.

      2. Joe 3

        I hate to tell you this...

        "I think you might want to read the article though, you seem to be getting confused with screaming their heads off and going at it like rabbits. The beak isn't telling her to turn into a nun, just to shut the hell up."

        If you've never had the neighbours bang on the wall to complain about the noise, you're not doing it right!

        1. nibs

          re: I hate to tell you this

          I totally agree Joe !!

    2. Graham Marsden

      Breach in Human Rights?

      And what about the right of her neighbours to enjoy the peaceful occupation of their property whcih she has repeatedly infringed?

      She and her partner can have as much nookie as they want, they just have to keep the bloody noise down!

    3. gollux

      Had one of those living next door...

      It isn't as entertaining as you might think. The breach of human rights occurs in the surrounding houses. Yes, they can go get a pickup truck out in a cornfield where the wild monkey calls would be useful chasing away crows.

      An old country remedy used to be a shotgun with a charge of rock salt...

    4. Marvin the Martian

      On balance

      The root problem seems to be council houses built from cardboard.

      So why don't they all get together and sue the council for soundproofing? Much better for cummunity spirit, etc.

  3. Anonymous Coward

    Move to the country honey!

    Seems an easy way out of this, move and make all the ridiculous noises she wants then.

    Or maybe a padded cell is needed.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      IT Angle

      Screaming Out For...

      ...a home in the country.

      At this point I think more punishment isn't helping (just making "it" naughtier) I think the state needs to step in and provide soundproofing advice. That said maybe the noise level isn't as bad as is being made out and the neighbours deserve the ASBO as this is a result of their only release being a tearful tug every quarter.

      1. Richard 81

        "tearful tug"

        Terrific, terrific.

  4. S Larti


    She's back in the news!

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Sound proofing

    I've always found a pillow over the face gets me out of a lot of trouble...

    1. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

      Re: Sound proofing

      Did you see 'Lizzie & Sarah' at the weekend, AC? I don't think it was meant as a sex tips show.

      1. Anonymous John

        I didn't see it.

        A quick look at the BBC listings showed that they were packed to the gunnels with sport, so I found something more interesting to do.

  6. smudge

    She could use her talents...

    ... and do soundtracks for grumble flicks.

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    Richard got there first!!!

  8. Dodgy Geezer Silver badge

    Hollywood called.....

    They want to make a film of this. Who would you like for the lead part....?

  9. Peter White
    Paris Hilton

    jealous neighbours

    thing is are the neighbours complaining because their partners are not providing the goods as often or enthusiastically ??

    plan B for the couple is go buy / rent a house away in the country or get better double glazing

    paris as she knows how to be discreet when required


  10. lglethal Silver badge

    Only the lawyer wins...

    All the money she's paid laywers to try and fight this could easily have been spent applying an EXTRA thick layer of sound insulation to the walls.

    Whos the numpty then, eh?

  11. Benedict

    I don't Get It

    I don't understand why people think it's ok for someone to make as much noise as they want as long as they claim "they can't help it" (what, like tourettes? doubt it). If it were me I'd wait till they had finished then play Come To Daddy as loud as I could.

    1. M Gale


      ..why wait until they've finished?

  12. Paul RND*1000

    Jail the neighbours

    The neighbours should be in jail for being a bunch of NIMBY prudes who need to get the fuck over themselves. It's not like she's actually doing it *in* their backyards after all.

    Reward whiny irritating bastards and you'll end up with a nation of whiny irritating bastards.

  13. scottboy

    She wants to be careful

    I'm sure she doesn't want to be banged up. Oh, wait...

  14. Martin 47
    Thumb Up

    And yet another use for

    duct tape

  15. Nigel Callaghan


    1. Sell story to the tabloids (with pictures)

    2. Move to a private island in the Hebrides.

  16. Anonymous Coward

    Prison / Bail Hostel

    Do you think they'll be permitted conjugal visits ?

    That would be interesting - being served with an ASBO in prison for being noisy in prison, where the punishment is go to prison :)

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I have to agree

    Ball gag 4 teh W1n

    I have had noisy partners and there are ways that don't involve pillows over the face to keep the noise down.

    You can always use the "Porkies" method of a dirty jock strap

  18. Elron


    Does anyone else think that she's merely doing this in order to get a career in the Sex Industry? She's had her 15 minutes of fame (and her neighbours are wishing it only lasted that long) and now she's realised she can make some money out of it!

  19. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Won't someone think of the children?

    "Daddy, whats that noise?"

  20. heyrick Silver badge

    What has become of the country...?

    Back in 1990 we lived next to a nasty teenage harlet who appeared to have or want sex with anybody passing. She liked music so bad it probably doesn't even have a genre. When we asked, politely, if it could be turns down a little, she turned the speakers to the wall, the audio right up, then went out leaving it playing the same song on repeat.

    Of course we seeked advice. And our remedy? An official bloke with a sound meter came out and pointed it at the wall. Oh, an official bloke with a fancy car so if she saw the car she'd turn the music down, barely a blip on the sound meter, oh well, no infraction.

    After numerous call-outs, and them no doubt thinking we're crazy, we suggested he park elsewhere and come in the back. Upon metering, he actually asked permission to put it on the bed and take a photo of it to be used in training, he'd never seen the thing register that much in a domestic situation.

    And she got some sort of warning by letter. Apparently there was a massive complicated legal process to begin if she didn't heed the warning, which being a stroppy teenager was returned through our letterbox with something rather unpleasant written across it (and, haha, spelled wrongly!).

    So we took an easier option. We moved.


    Anyway, point is, is this based upon the allegation of the neighbours, or were measurements of these <cough>sessions actually taken? How loud is loud? And, just to kick around an idea for the hell of it, would it be more acceptable for a similar noise if it was, say, a brat with a drumkit or a PS3? Is the limit of acceptable going to be lower because it is sex?

    And, looking the other way, WhoTF makes that kind of noise while in the act?

    1. Tom 7 Silver badge

      Heyrick - revenge is sweet

      We had similar problems. They were eventually solved by retaliation.Transducers were attached to the adjoining wall when it went quiet next door an arythmic bass thumped through, we went out as it was generally day time.

      Took 3 days for them to acquiesce - even teenage psychos need sleep.

      1. Anonymous Coward


        Very polite round your way, where I came from they'd probably end up throwing a petrol bomb through the window (and for irony's sake it wuld be in a speaker or such like).

      2. takuhii
        Thumb Up

        Transducers... Sweet!

        You might have to talk me through how that was setup!!??

      3. Nerd King


        Don't even need to be that complicated. Just take one stereo with timer and well-chosen irritating CD, volume to the max, leave the house, let them suffer. Not that I did it deliberately to get evicted when I was trying to get out of a crappy tenancy agreement in a shared house.. not me sir.

    2. lglethal Silver badge

      a few facts..

      heyrick - if you look back through the archives in el reg you will find the original details. The facts were that they had people with sound meters out and measure the noise and apparently it was off the charts in a big way (i forget the exact figure), she received multiple warnings. and did nothing about it. So eventually an ASBO was applied, she fought it in the courts. She lost. She then broke said ASBO (a number of times) and so she was given a suspended sentence. Now shes broken that suspended sentence - so off she goes to prison. Kinda hard to argue with the legal process in that regard.

      Oh and if i remember the description that one of her neighbours said it was something along the lines of she sounded like someone was being murdered by being cut up with a blunt knife! That would probably cause me to call the cops too!

      I also have to say your opinion that the easy option was for you to move is not exactly an option in a lot of cases. If you own your house and some chav moves in next door - its not exactly easy to sell up and leave is it? If you actually really love the house and area you live in but for the neighbour - its a bit harsh to just get up and move isnt it? Or even if your just a renter most of the time you have a contract so you cant leave until after the contracts up - so not exactly an option if you discover in the first couple of months that youve got a pain in the *ss neighbour...

      1. heyrick Silver badge


        Her "in the act" maxed out sound meters? This is horror movie territory!

    3. CapitalW

      Reminds me of a neighbor of mine

      I don't want to get off topic to stereos, but being a ham radio operator, while living in an apartment, a neighbor next to us liked to turn the volume up...whump, booom, whump, boooom, etc., I decided to try an experiment.

      I got on the air and held a nice conversation with a friend. After the cheap CD player went into laser lock, I watched her take the stereo to her car. About a week later, I saw it return, and the loud music started again.

      Once again, after laser lock during a conversation with a friend, the music stopped, and looking out the window a couple minutes later I saw the stereo go into the dumpster!

      I normally operated when things were quiet, but with the (US) FCC Part 15 on my side, I wanted to have some fun - and revenge for sleepless nights. No, I never told her what was going on as I was never asked.......

      BOOTNOTE: She got a better stereo with better speakers that didn't resonate so badly.

  21. BeachBoy

    What noise?

    You mean women are supposed to make a noise at these moments? I thought they just lay there looking at the ceiling (and apparently thinking of recipies).

  22. Jason Bloomberg Silver badge
    Big Brother

    Evidence ?

    Surely for committal proceedings there would have to be credible and verifiable evidence, not just the say so of neighbours who may have a grudge against this woman.

    ASBO's are one of the nastiest legal devices ever invented, criminalising things which should never be criminal. Of course you don't go to jail for doing what someone doesn't like, you go to jail for breaking an ASBO which says you must not do what someone doesn't like. Clever and nasty - Just like the Home Secretary slapping Control Orders on otherwise not proven guilty people.

    New Labour principles of justice sit better with the Taliban and dictatorships than in the civilised west.

  23. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Wonderful, just wonderful.

    The wonderful thing about ASBOs is that they dig up dirt that now has to be handled properly. So now you get reams of interesting questions that demand official positions justifyable in (higher) court and all that. Useful, no?

    It doesn't appear to work very well though. Isn't that the essence of anti-social people being anti-social? How on earth did they think ASBOs were actually going to *help*?

  24. The Other Steve

    In this case ...

    Thank you for not posting pictures, but those suggesting that she she should get a job in the sex industry might want to go and google some, although I warn you, you will wish you hadn't.

    I suspect that the noise the neighbours can mostly hear is her hubby screaming "NO! OH GOD PLEASE NO! NOT AGAIN! NO!" not that he's exactly a looker himself.

    Oh hell, go on, here

    don't say you weren't warned.

    1. Sceptical Bastard

      @ The Other Steve

      We may have been warned - but it's still a pretty gruesome sight, wouldn't you say.

      She may be no oil painting but her hubby looks like a (very) poor man's Bruce Willis. What either of 'em see in each other is beyond human understanding.

      There are other equally disturbing images available to anyone with strong nerves and Google. I think her chances of starring in any grumble flick are about as good ss my dog's... oh, wait a minute...

  25. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    Co Incidence

    Once heard this sort of racket while in a holiday cottage. (Lake district)We just lay back and enjoyed the neighbors two along, and tried to guess what they were doing (special!)

    Next morning we were amused to see that the lady was an ex teacher of one of

    our children. We said nothing, just smiled. The kids were not with us this time.

  26. John Savard


    If it's possible for a mere mortal human, without electronic assistance, to make a sound loud enough within an apartment that the neighbors can hear it, the landlord ought to be the one arrested for violating building standards.

    1. Anonymous Coward

      Sadly, Mr Savard...

      ... Most Victorian terraces have thin walls. Friends of mine in a well-known and much-despised town inside the M25 have rowdy neighbours where I've been astonished to hear them (and my hearing is damaged thanks to some of my outdoor pursuits involving racing engines, as well as my enjoyment of clubs in my younger days).

      Noise-proofing does not really work unless it is a somewhat thick material, and considering how narrow the stairs are in my friends' flat, I doubt the stairs next door are any wider. So who would you be holding responsible... my friends' landlord or the landlord next door? What if the ones next door own the place? Any suggestions then?

  27. Luther Blissett

    Like Sartre said

    Hell is other people. But as Mrs J-P Sartre added: Intercourse the penguin.

    (Not to be construed as casting aspersion on the performance of Tux, which as we all know, simply gets better and better).

    1. The Other Steve

      Ah well, never mind.

      "(Not to be construed as casting aspersion on the performance of Tux, which as we all know, simply gets better and better)."

      Yeah, another few iterations and he will be the perfect model of a 1970s penguin, just a shame it's 2010 really.

  28. RW
    Paris Hilton

    It's involuntary

    She's hardly doing this on purpose. I bet a jelly-filled donut that most of us have had sexual partners or known of people who at the critical moment let loose with the most amazing verbalizations. Some Buddhist sects believe that at the moment of orgasm, one gets a tiny taste of what enlightenment is like; is it any wonder that it inspires the autonomic nervous system to express itself freely?

    And that, to me, seems to be an iron-clad defense. "Yes, your lordship, I farted long and loud, but even the emperor Claudius recognized that farting is an uncontrollable natural function which it is harmful to try to rein in." Mutatis mutandis, the same is true of coital ululations.

    But underneath all this it's probably the neighbors being jealous of someone who clearly has a rich and satisfying sex life, unlike their own prematurely withered libidos.

  29. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    would you? I wouldn't

    Have you seen this woman? She's one ugly son of a bitch, why her husband would want to shag her I have no idea.

    1. LateNightLarry

      would you? I wouldn't

      << Have you seen this woman? She's one ugly son of a bitch >>

      WRONG... she's one ugly BITCH. Maybe she was worth looking at 30 years ago... But now just give me some beer... LOTS of beer.

      If I chug enough, I won't remember what she looks like.

  30. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    The judge said!

    "He said steps such as closing windows, asking her husband to remind her to be quiet, and making efforts herself to tone down the noise could and should have been deployed."

    So he can scream "shut the fuck up bitch" whilst giving her the good news so that she doesnt breach her ASBO!

    I doubt "quiet dear" would work to well in that household!

    Then the neighbours will be complaining that all they can hear is him telling her to shut up followed by the double slap of the cowboy whip action.

    Paris - she deserves an ASBO for existing!

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      they could move out

      and their neighbours would still piss and moan "we never hear any sound from that house we think it might be a cannabis farm wah wah wah think of the children"

  31. Mark York 3 Silver badge

    "Putting A Sock In It"

    I don't see how putting a sock in it would make matters any better, ohhh hang on you mean her mouth.

    Joke because I can't be arsed for a PH reference & I really need to go to the pub now.

  32. The Evil One

    The neighbours have become sensitized now

    Probably her sex is not now noisy enough to justify an ASBO but the niighbours have been sensitized and the ASBO has given the power to send this woman to prison whenever they like if they hear the slightest sound from her.

    The ASBO law is an appalling law thought up by authoritarian politicians to harass the underclass.

  33. The Evil One

    The neighbours have become sensitised now

    Probably her sex is not now noisy enough to justify an ASBO but the neighbours have been sensitised and the ASBO has given the power to send this woman to prison whenever they like if they hear the slightest sound from her.

    The ASBO law is an appalling law thought up by authoritarian politicians to harass the underclass.

  34. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Am I the only one...

    ..who wants to hear some evidence?

    Sounds like she's in pain? Really? Like a wounded animal? Really?

    Come on - where's the NOTW recording?

  35. Thomas 18
    Thumb Up


    1. Star in a novelty porn based off your internet fame

    2. Spend £££ soundproofing your flat

  36. Craigness


    10.15am on a Sunday morning

    I'd send her down for that alone.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Paris Hilton


      Sending her husband down might have been part of the problem although sending her down might be a partial solution,

      Paris, she knows it's rude to speak with her mouth full.

  37. Jason Yau

    "failing to put a sock in it"

    It's best if she doesn't put anything in it.

  38. jeremy_the_great

    show no mercy

    i'll carry my hot coffee vending machine and drop it on that woman's you-know-what...


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