back to article Kentucky woman breastfeeds sheriff's deputy

A Kentucky woman cuffed for public intoxication added a third degree assault charge to her rap sheet after allegedly squirting breast milk into a sheriff's deputy's face. Toni Tramel's mugshot Toni Tramel, 31, of Owensboro, was changing into a prison uniform when she took her chance to let the female officer have it with one …

COMMENTS

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  1. Sooty

    i think the biohazard

    is based on, if she had HIV, getting her breastmilk in your eyes could give it to you.

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    oh my

    and its not even friday yet

  3. Captain TickTock
    Coat

    I shot the sheriff...

    Got to milk it for all it's worth...

    (And 2 mugshots in one day - bonanza!)

  4. Anonymous Coward
    WTF?

    Seriously...

    ..you have got to be f*ing kidding.

    Biohazard? Plastered mums? Assault?

    Good ol' US of A and your quite-insane population. Where would we be without you.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      @Seriously

      You'd be here http://business.timesonline.co.uk/tol/business/law/columnists/article6979533.ece.

    2. peyton?
      Heart

      Where would you be?

      Apparently you would have died off from infectious disease long ago, no?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Pint

        re: Where would you be?

        Alive and well actually, since the 'official' discovery of the first anti-biotic (penicillin) - by a Scotsman - who was most definitely on the right side of the pond at the time. In more ways than one.

        Not to mention our ability to gain access to more advanced infection treatments without having to sell the house or an internal organ to fund it.

        ...or have I completely missed the joke there?

        1. peyton?

          Surprising reply

          AC, why would you need antibiotics unless... oh you've come around to the idea that breast milk could be a biohazard now? Being able to recognize a vector of infection (and thereby minimize disease risk) is what I was referring to. I certainly would not be referring to penicillin, as it has no effect on viral diseases.

      2. Barry Lane 1
        Paris Hilton

        @Dance for me, etc

        This is great. The piece you link to, about the woman who alleged that her doctor gave her earth-shattering orgams during an examination, is taken from a book written by a guy called Slapper.

        Paris, naturally.

    3. James O'Brien
      Joke

      Hey now!

      Not all of us are insane...just most.

      Now a side question is:

      Would you like milk with that?

    4. Blake St. Claire
      Stop

      BBC's "You are what you eat" and "How clean is your house"

      Without us, the rest of the world would have to laugh at you instead.

      People who live in glass houses---

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Bio hazards

    Ummm lets see - hepatitis, HIV, several other nasty and incurable diseases, many curable but nasty diseases.

    Almost as bad as stabbing someone with a syringe (syringe stabbing should equate to "attempted murder with intent to commit murder")

    1. Michael 28
      Unhappy

      Don't forget.....

      .....mastitis!!!!!

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    Class Act!

    Paris? - well...

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    HIV Risk

    The biohazard issue is that if the perp was infected with HIV then a splash of breast milk in the eye is almost as bad as a splash of blood in the eye.

    Not a nice thing to experience!

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Born to play the part

    "He didn't mean to hit me, Officer. He didn't mean to hit me. He's a good man. Don't take him away. I fell asleep in the driveway and he run over my head with the truck. He's a good man. He don't mean no harm. He's passed out under the trailer right now with his dog, Skeeter."

    Bill Hicks on "Cops"

  9. NogginTheNog

    Since she's lactating

    ...is there any information on the current welfare of the "lucky' child(ren)??

    1. Lionel Baden

      funnily enough

      i agree with you about the welfare of the children

      but .....

      Drinking whilst breast feeding isnt bad only a very minute percentage of alchohol makes it to the milk (when drinking in moderation) not quite what the goverment lead us to believe .....

      Sounds to me she's just had a kid 9 months no drinking went out for a night with the girls got a bit carried away it happens !!

      also could be bottle feeding anyway :/

      Still if it was my wife i would not be pleased .... !!!!

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Suprised nobody has said this already ....

    Bitty !!

  11. Is it Friday yet?
    Stop

    @Mike JVX

    Surely an attempted murder charge means that you are intending to murder somone but failed.. Attemted already has intent.. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attempted_murder) I dont know about in Murka but here for a murder charge you have to have Mens Rea (latin for guilty mind..) or its at most manslaughter* if successful...

    *You cant have manslaughter without laughter :-)

  12. Anonymous John

    Playmobil reconstruction

    Or it didn't happen.

  13. Anonymous Coward
    IT Angle

    Quaint US sayings #276

    Ha - looks like they both "got milk".

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Boffin

    Blame health and safety and a piss poor Govt.

    For your information.

    Any body fluids constitutes a biohazard under the health and F**king safety legislation or one of its dependant legislation.

    This is why you need to be specially trained to clear up baby sick in nursery.

    The reason nurses clean up bloods, sick and urine in a ward, cleaners don't and won't. So think on that when you underpaid and overstressed nurse has to do everything on the ward because cleaners are not allowed.

    Why teachers have to phone the parent to pick up sick children and if that child is covered in sick, specially trained FEMALE only staff members are used to clean them up. (Bear in mind the kid is covered while the staff is found, changes and then turns up) And why they need to wear special protective clothing

    Now ask yourself why we came to this situation. A screaming child of six has to sit for twenty minutes in its own sick, all its class mates laughing while a woman teacher in a plastic outfit comes to clean him up. Then they call the parents to take him home.

    You think I am joking, sorry. Think again.

    Society today. Great isn't it.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      FAIL

      Nurses

      "The reason nurses clean up bloods, sick and urine in a ward, cleaners don't and won't. So think on that when you underpaid and overstressed nurse has to do everything on the ward because cleaners are not allowed."

      As it has always been. This is nothing new. Infact allot of the "old school" nurses get very annoyed at newer nurses who don't want to clean up. It is nothing to do with society today. This and making beds was all nurses did for the first 6 months on the ward in the past. The problem is they are now expected to be part doctor.

    2. FFred
      FAIL

      Spewing fluids and the abuse thereof (yuck)

      Any body fluid ?

      How about perspiration ?

      I'm glad I don't (that I know) and probably won't have any kids. I certainly don't want to have to undergo any special training to be allowed to manage all the stuff they continuously spew out of their various orifices during their early years. I'd have to hire a plastic clad nurse. With my luck she (or he) would come with warts and weigh 135 kilos.

      And there have been *many* cases of female humans actively abusing (sexually even, eww, gross) the offspring of the species. Won't anybody think of the grubs ?

      Uh, underlings ?

      I agree that today's society should be taken out back and shot.

  15. Craig 28

    Re:Lactating

    Unless she has hormonal issues, which can make women lactate without pregnancy. I wonder if it might also lead to erratic behaviour as well, this certainly qualifies.

    Regarding mug shots, shouldn't this technically be a "jug shot"?

  16. Anonymous Coward
    Heart

    Yee-haw!!!

    "Kentucky woman

    If she get to squirt you

    She goin' to pwn you

    Kentucky woman"

  17. Painless

    Am I the only one thinking......

    .....aren't there people who pay to have this done to them?

    or so I've heard anyway.

  18. Mike Holden

    If ...

    If she had recently stopped breastfeeding, she would still be lactating. In that case, no problem with getting bladdered.

    Maybe it's the female equivalent of the father "wetting the baby's head" by getting lashed a few months after birth?

  19. Anonymous Coward
    IT Angle

    Is this the Reg or Jerry Springer?

    that is all...

  20. Chris Seiter
    Thumb Up

    If you've...

    Shot out someone's eye with staight from the tap breastmilk, youuuuu might be a redneck.

    If you've made someone go through a biohazard decontamination process, youuuuu might be a redneck.

    If you're tits are registered lethal weapons, youuuu might be a redneck.

    1. FFred
      Joke

      So a redneck mom goes into a bank...

      "Put the money into a paper bag or I squeeze it into your eye !"

  21. tas
    Happy

    Laughed so hard my throat hurtsez!

    ...Lester Haines, that was funniest article I have read on this site in years! Thanks a million http://www.theregister.co.uk/Design/graphics/icons/comment/happy_32.png

    1. Jerome 0
      Happy

      Laughter

      You seem to have laughed so hard that you dragged your icon into your comment box.

  22. Nightkiller
    Happy

    From the Mug Shot....

    I'd say that breadth was also being milked.

  23. JC 2

    Dumb Criminals...

    ... a smarter bird would have sued the sheriff's dept for getting the milk for free without buying the cow.

    One has to wonder now, are they going to milk her daily in an attempt to keep her disarmed? What would the job title for that be and where can I receive training?

  24. Gerry Doyle 1

    And the IT angle is...

    twin floppies?

  25. Stephen Gee

    Only one barrel...

    ... but still pump action.

  26. John Sturdy
    Badgers

    Won't someone think of the badgers?

    Isn't there a risk of her cross-infecting the local badgers with tuberculosis?

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