back to article Apple kicks out quack app, keeps boobs/farts

Apple has rejected an application that quacks on the grounds that it's pointless, apparently failing to notice the true value of what fills the iTunes store. Atlantia Software developed the QuackPhone application, which was rejected by Apple because it "contains minimal user functionality" as explained in the email sent to the …

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  1. Cowardy custard
    Boffin

    distracting....

    obviously the pure thought of making things wobble is arousing....

    "New version on the right - the one on the right is "sexually arousing""

    ahem....

  2. Anonymous Coward
    FAIL

    We want boobs!

    I want my wobbling boobs dammit!

    Seriously, if you can be serious in the light of Apple's doubletalk, people will vote with their feet... just as soon as there's a serious competitor to the App store that is!

    This is the issue - Apple currently have the monopoly and the chances of anyone catching up soon aren't big.

    If you've got the monopoly, you call the shots.

    The rest of the market is too fragmented and doesn't have a clear vision.

    Love them or Loath them, you have to give Apple credit for creating what is arguably the best mobile digital content 'store' to date - and they've done that through control over the device itself.

    No other player can currently do what Apple have, because of the fragmentation - the sheer volume of different devices, with different operating systems.

    1. h 6
      Megaphone

      Seriously, folks

      I couldn't give a rat's ass about boob apps on my iphone.

  3. The Fuzzy Wotnot
    Happy

    Hmmmm...

    To bend and old saying, "Quality Assurance is not assurance of quality"!

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Grenade

    Apple...

    Are a bunch of sad faced wankers their users all have the 'twat' gene forcing them to desire Apple products.

    Open fire...

  5. Juan Inamillion
    Jobs Horns

    Did I miss something?

    "no ice-skating tights on women"

    Where did this come from? Apples App deployment department or the contributors fevered mind?

    Where's the link?

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Jobs Horns

    aha!

    I see where this is going... without sexual connotations, the app is now... pointless. as per the new rules, it will be disallowed for that.

    AC obviously, I wasn't even here, didn't read that article.

  7. ratfox
    Coffee/keyboard

    ROFL

    Apple owes me a new keyboard, for allowing the pic on the left, but not that on the right

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    1 million users

    I take it that was just for show - because an increase from the "arousing" version to the less sexually stimulating wobbly fat thing version is a cool 850k users. Nice user-base at 99cents if you can get it.

    Think I'll give it a miss and use my PC for the more stimulating fun ;-)

  9. TeeCee Gold badge
    Coat

    Ice-skating tights. Take note.

    Any of you blade-equipped nylon bastards go skating on my wife and there'll be trouble.

    Her coat was expensive and scratches easily*.

    *Not off-topic, it's a mac......

  10. Robert Carnegie Silver badge

    58008

    Oh I see. You do provide your own boobs.

    Maybe the quackplication can be merged with the fart tool. Come to think, they already had trouble with that. Competition and conflict between first-come and me-too fart emulators in the app store. Maybe that's why it's allowed to stay now.

  11. Stevie

    Bah!

    Just what I need on my morning commute. Now, not only will I be dealing with stupid ringtones and idiots who don't equate a speakerphone with the ban on radios on trains, but now I risk being clouted by some twonk trying to animate britnee spirs nekkid pix.

    Wasn't a similar thing used to show how naff tabloid journalism could get in a TV show called "Hot Metal"? Wobblevision I think it was called.

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Badgers

    "All publicity" and all that...

    Apple's stupid rules aside - the publicity has obviously done the app no harm - note that the censered version on the right states 150,000+ users, while the acceptable varsion on the left boasts over 1 million!

  13. ian 22

    Freud never sleeps!

    I suspect that App store has a clerk with impure thoughts about ducks. Aroused, no doubt, by the voluptuous lust-filled quacking of the app, he rejected it in disgust.

    Ah yes, the luurv that dare not quack its name.

  14. Dr Patrick J R Harkin

    Hmmm...

    Well, I suppose if it wobbles like a duck, and farts like a duck...

  15. Robert Carnegie Silver badge

    I have a problem

    Can the first person who figures out how to stop thinking about wobbling breasts incongrously accompanied by the sound of quacking, please describe how.

    ...

    No hurry. It's not really unpleasant, it just... won't be easy to explain.

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