Sellafield gull cull mulled Sellafield nuclear reprocessing plant is considering a cull of gulls which could have come into contact with contaminated waste. A spokeswoman for Sellafield told the Beeb: "Contamination is particularly evident within the historic facilities such as open fuel storage ponds, which gulls can access, although there are a number …
'The larine menace will be dealt with in a "safe and humane" way'
Yeah? We puny humans don't stand a chance against such mutated airborne death-bringers, swooping down on us in legion following a frenzied binge-feed on toxic waste.
Only solution - we MUST get hold of Brian Blessed and his flock of Hawkmen from Flash Gordon to defend us.
2nd Squadron - D-I-I-I-I-I-I-VE!
Of course, this wouldn't be a problem if the Sellafield authorities covered up the remaining radioactive water reservoir. As access is open (to the skies, at least) seagulls fly down and paddle around on the surface, hence the glowy gull menace.
The main effect of this is neighbourhood roofs. Gulls sit and poop on those too, and the cumulative avian effort has made the rooftops of many houses around Sellafield measurably radioactive. I'm fairly sure I'm right in saying that many houses have had their roofing slates replaced for free because of this.
Culling the gulls is a smart move, especially static colonies that have lived in the area long enough to build up radiation. An even smarter move (but rather expensive, I guess) would be sorting the problem at its source, by covering the radioactive pools, or seeing what can be done about reducing and disposing of the water.
On the plus side: At least it's only gulls that got into the pools, and not sharks.
Back in the early '80s, one of my fellow students got a placement at Winds^h^h^h^hT^hSellafield, came back after six months with all sorts of tales about the place. (And, the obligatory healthy glow)
The most relevant one here was that they had regular culls of the wildlife and feral animals (mention was made of it being mostly feral cats) within the site, this, he was told, was done to cover up the incidences of mutations and contaminated beasties..
--
Government Inspector: "Now what's all this we hear about problems with the local wildlife ?, we've heard talk about radioactive feral cats.."
Sellafield: "radioactive feral kitties?, what radioctive two headed feral kitties?"
Government Inspector: "Two headed?..."
Sellafield: "Ah shit, 'tis a fair cop, but at least they keep the carnivorous rabbits in check.."
Government Inspector: "Carnivorous Rabbits?.."
Sellafield: "Ah, shit again, did I say anything about the 40ft tall glowing telepathic seagull we call Barry that we keep hidden in the Reactor golfball?"
Government Inspector: "Err, Ok, so no problems with the local wildlife then."
(Government Inspector runs away *really fast*)
Sellafield: "Thank god for that, at least he didn't find out anything about the fieldmice.."
Judging by the size of seagulls in Aberdeen, I can only assume they are descendents of those in Sellafield.
@Iawndart: having been to chernobyl, I can confirm there is no need to worry about mutated gulls, or any other form of bird life there! The cooling ponds though are home to some rather large fish. I didnt notice any with three eyes, however.
Imagine our surprise testing the new firmware on a collimated neutron detector when we found a seagull nest gently radiating americium neutrons on the flat roof of building 37 - pity the poor sap who had a desk on the other side of the wall from it - his dosage film always came back black, now we knew why :)
"The gull carcasses will be stored on site"
So they'll become yet more intermediate-level waste waste then, to be disposed of in years to come? This means the whole-life cost of killing, storing and eventually processing one gull will probably be in the £x000s
Madness.
Good article title though :)
Early radar installations microwaved passing birds to death. Surely Sellafield's radioactive waste could be protected by a well-placed invisible death ray or two?
(Unfortunately, for safety, staff would have to be wrapped in Bacofoil when working on site, which would give enntirely the wrong impression - in fact you use METAL foil when you DON'T want to microwave something)
As for Aberdeen, there's natural radioactivity there (some everywhere but more there): look up granite and radon. (Note: you don't get radon only from granite.) It's what keeps the traditional "Fermion haddie" warm. :-)
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