back to article UK government won't be keeping mobile database

The Home Office has responded to a petition against plans for state registration of mobile phones, by pointing out that the state has no such plans. The petition, on the Number 10 website, was set up by a chap from Privacy International and closed in October last year with 266 signatures. In November the Home Office published …

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  1. John Smith 19 Gold badge
    Thumb Down

    Classic peice of HomeOffice work

    "We don't keep the database. We just make sure anyone who operates a network has to."

    1. MinionZero
      Big Brother

      @"We just make sure anyone who operates a network has to."

      In other words, effectively the government is outsourcing Big Brother. That way companies are brought around to doing what the government wants, because then the companies get to profit from admin expenses etc... from any government searches of their databases.

      Then to add insult to injury, we the tax paying Proles get to foot the ever growing government bill for each time they choose to spy on ever more people. :(

      Plus thats before we also add in any attempts by some companies to earn extra by saying their admin costs have gone up a lot, so some people will get to pay twice, once to higher fees to companies and once again via taxes to pay for the government who then pays the companies to spy on its behalf!

      Looks like the terrorist Perpetual War is a wonderful money spinner, well for everyone but us Proles. :(

  2. pctechxp

    Prepaid registration with the network should be mandatory

    I use prepay and the first thing I did was get registered.

    Why?

    a) So I could get it barred if I lost it or some oik pinched it and I could keep my number.

    b) It can quickly be eliminated from enquiries if it was quoted by someone to the police as a false contact number.

    I agree that it should be left with the networks but I'm not sure of the problem, I mean you have to register if you want to take out a contract.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Eliminated from enquiries?

      I think your second point shows the world a lot about life in the UK these days.

    2. Cameron Colley

      "Eliminated from enquiries?"

      I take it you mean eliminated from enquiries after the police take you in for questioning and add you to the DNA database along with stopping you from ever passing an extended background check?

      Just because you know you're innocent doesn't mean the police know or care if you are and Allah help you if your number was ever owned by an anonymous person who knows someone who knows someone who once met a member of the imaginary organisation that is "Al Kaider".

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Watch the sausage machine at work

    People: "Go away nanny state"

    Weak Govt: "We have no plans to require registration of mobile phones with Govt office"

    Tabloids in attack mode: "GOVT HELPS TERRORISTS KEEP CHAT SECRET"

    Weak Govt: "Erm, when we said 'Govt Office', we did not rule out mobile network providers keeping the data"

    ACPO: "Lots of baby diddlers use mobile phones"

    GCHQ: "If a terrorist used a mobile phone to explode a bomb in Bebo's HQ, it would catastrophically cause Britain to fall into the sea!

    RSPCA: "Dog fighters plan their fights by mobile phone"

    NSPCA: "Won't somebody think of the children???"

    Tabloids: "GOVT IN DIDDLER DITHER"

    Weak Govt: "As planned all along we've consulted the people and they want us to record everyones conversations, with free access to senior policemen, GCHQ, RSPCA, NSPCA, to prevent terrorists baby diddlers"

    (Tabloids to self : "f***, it's just enertainment, they're not supposed to take us seriously")

    Tabloids: "GOVT SPIES ON CITIZENS"

    People: "Go away nanny state"

  4. Ted Treen
    Pint

    Terrorists AND Paedos...

    ...are known to wear:-

    a) Shoes

    b) Underpants (exploding or not, as the case may be).

    Shouldn't there also be a register of ALL owners/users of these items which are obviously indicative of suspect leanings, and likely to be of use to the aforementioned ungodly?

    1. John G Imrie
      Joke

      You are being too leaniant

      Underpants and shoos should be banned.

  5. Anonymous Coward
    FAIL

    What about Skype

    So if all mobiles have to be registered what happens to somebody who just makes calls using an iTouch thingy and Skype (over wifi). Will THAT have to be registered.....Conclusion - all Internet access will have to registered as you can make calls/communicate over it.

    It will be a sad day for all - the black market in unregistered phones will be massive (another crime feeder methinks).

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Big Brother

    When will we need to register to...

    a. Post a letter

    b. Use any communications device/medium (e.g. Internet)

    c. Talk in public

    d. Talk in private

    e. Write

    f. Think

    g. Live

    Sorry, but this in an obvious 1984 logo

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Unhappy

    I can already see the headlines..

    "Corporate phone sharing schemes out-lawed by phone registration legislation"

    "Woman prosecuted for making calls 'on her husband's phone' - 'she was not the registered owner/user' claim police, 'and so was obviously up to no good'"

    "Man prosecuted for not locking mobile phone" - 'This could easily have been used by a terrorist to make terrorist activity plans, and we wouldn't know who did it' claim Police

    "Man sentenced for 'dodgy text messages'" - 'I didn't send them' claims man. 'The phone was registered to you, so you are responsible for the content of what is sent' - claim Police, under the new legislation on mobile phone ownership and usage.

    "New phone legislation 'unfair on UK residents' - Allows unregistered phones to be used by tourists" - 'Something must be done to combat unregistered phone usage by tourist terrorists' claim Police

    "UK to confiscate all mobile phones at UK borders" - 'just in case'

    "Massive increase in Identity Theft blamed on mandatory phone registration"

    "37% increase in hill-side fires caused by increase in 'terrorist smoke-signal communications'" - claim National Forestry Association.

  8. Graham Marsden
    Big Brother

    "has no such plans" != "won't"

    Big Brother icon: enough said.

  9. John Smith 19 Gold badge
    Joke

    @Ted Treen

    "..are known to wear:-

    a) Shoes

    b) Underpants (exploding or not, as the case may be)."

    Citizen

    Now you're just being *silly*. If there's one thing The State cannot stand, it's *not* being taken seriously.

    Signed.

    The Nanny State.

    1. Spanners
      Big Brother

      Agreed

      One of the things that has helped to keep government in line in the past has been satire.

      We need to use a *LOT* more of it as soon as possible - before some humourless moron decides to ban it because apparently "criminals have been known to laugh".

  10. Hill dweller
    Thumb Down

    Plonker Government

    Surely it would be much simpler if they made it compulsory for the 2000 potential bombers in the uk, to register their bombs at the their local police station like they do with gun owners.

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