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back to article Chimps don't like short measures: Official

Barmen should be warned that chimps have demonstrated a "folk understanding of the physics of liquids" which enables them to tell the difference between a full pint and a short measure. According to research by psychologist Dr Michael Beran of Georgia State University, the animals can distinguish "continuous quantities" of …

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  1. Mystic Megabyte
    Pint

    I luuurve yooou!

    This possibly explains why I'm dragging my knuckles on the floor when I leave my boozer.

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  2. Phil Standen
    Pint

    All well and good but...

    ... how did they perform when they were half cut? Did they then pick the liquid that was the brightest colour and tasted the worse?

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  3. Anonymous Coward
    Happy

    Title

    So 'Greed' is not just a human trait?

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  4. lglethal Silver badge
    Joke

    Beware chimps in bars...

    The Barmen better watch out if he decides to give the chimps a short measure - we all know what Chimps love to fling!

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  5. Juan Inamillion
    Coat

    Yes but...

    After the tests were the female chimps better looking?

    /what coat?

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  6. archengel46
    Thumb Up

    Must be the barman ripping me off

    This explains why I rarely get drunker after the 5th pint!!!

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  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Oook!

    Translation: Mine's a banana daiquiri!

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    1. Elmer Phud
      Reply Icon

      Oook, indeed

      I suspect the librarian would be more than a little peeved at a short measure in the Mended Drum.

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      1. Peter Ford
        Reply Icon

        Double Oook!

        ... especially if you called him a chimp!

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  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    how does it compare

    to homo sapiens?

    Would they pass these tests too?

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  9. Stratman
    Paris Hilton

    title

    " the animals can distinguish "continuous quantities" of liquids which simply get bigger as more liquid is added."

    Hah! They'll never become our masters until they can distinguish "continuous quantities" of liquids which simply get smaller as more liquid is added.

    Until then we have nothing to fear.

    Paris. Because as more liquid is added........

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  10. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    The big question is

    can they distinguish the quantity of liquid when ice is used in some containers but not others?

    The biggest con that's used on humans is the "fill the container (cup or jug or whatever else) with lots of ice first and then pour in the liquid" trick. This con is pulled by bars, restaurants and fast food joints alike. You get a 300ml cup of your favorite beverage only to find it' contains 250ml of ice and only 50ml of actual drink.

    Mines the one with "Just say no to ice" motif.

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  11. Hungry Sean
    Pint

    volume perception

    Seems like the shape of the glasses would have a large effect on the decision process. For example, with the opaque containers, the chimps would presumably be able to look at the top and compare the depth or if the glass were tapered, the cross-section and could compare on that basis. I think it would be interesting to see if chimps actually have a handle on volume perception, something that humans are easily fooled at (given two equal volumes in cylindrical containers, we will judge the narrower, taller one to be larger).

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  12. Mike Flugennock
    Pint

    I guess this can mean only one thing...

    ...chimps for bartenders!

    I guess the only thing left would be to train the chimps to do that cool bit where they draw little pictures in the head on a pint of Guiness from the thin stream that comes from the tap after they shut it off.

    Oh, and a FULL pint, please.

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