Jedi chapter seeks leader after master resigns

Surrey's nascent Jedi community is looking for a new leader after the incumbent, Master Ajac, was forced to step down for health reasons. The Surrey Advertiser reports that the 25 strong group is looking for someone with "a background in martial arts and a deep understanding of the teachings of the Jedi, the religion featured …

[Anonymous Coward]

cheap shots (as usual)

Use the force, Luke.

This is not the leader you are looking for.

and the ubiqutous "I would like to be the first to welcome our new Jedi overlord*"

* as soon as we find him...

[Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse]

The sad thing is...

That there will probabaly be some sad geeks out there that REALLY want to sign up.

I won't be convinced of course until one of them can help me get my X-Wing out of the swamp.

[Graham Marsden]

"an undisclosed location"

<Waves hand>

This is not the location you're...

... oh bugger, what a give away!

[Anonymous Coward]

" the two year old group meets at an undisclosed location"

Isn't that a bit young to be forming your own religion and meeting in secret?

[LinkOfHyrule]

Surrey

Surrey has a "Jedi Chapter"? I'm moving if this is true, no wonder the house prices in the better parts of <insert name of stuck-up Surrey village here> are falling!

Signed, Disgusted of Surrey!

[ravenviz]

Re; Surrey

It must be in Claygate, they're all a bit strange there.

[Anonymous Coward]

Incomplete investigation....

...as we need to know what proportion of this group are married....

[Gulfie]

Let me correct that for you...

... as we need to know what proportion of this group have bona fide (hehe) experience of the opposite sex...

[James 139]

Surely

that is a requirement though, arent the Jedi forbidden to engage in rumpy pumpy?

[Big-nosed Pengie]

12345

It's not so much that it's forbidden, it's just that they'll never have the chance.

[Anonymous Coward]

Loosers

Honestly, they make people who go to Star Trek conventions look fashionable.

And people call *me* sad...

[Anonymous Coward]

Okay

you're sad

[Anonymous Coward]

Close, but no cigar...

People just think you can't spell "losers"...

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=looser

[Anonymous Coward]

:p

No, it's your inability to spell "losers."

</spelling nazi>

[Marvin the Martian]

Judging from your spelling

They're probably calling you sadd, actually.

[Alpha Tony]

I have a bad feeling about this.

'the two year old group meets at an undisclosed location'

Is it chapter founder Daniel Jones' mum's basement by any chance?

Thought so.

[Yannick]

Pathetic

WTF is wrong with people? Jedis, then Avatards, what next? Jobsians?

/coat - door.

[Wish You Were Here]

Shoorly

A true Jedi wouldn't need to know the location of the meetings but would sense the disturbance in the force?

Paris, 'cos she could disturb my force anytime.

[Laie Techie]

Disturbance in the Force?

> A true Jedi wouldn't need to know the location of the meetings but would sense the disturbance

> in the force?

Um, refreshments are *AFTER* the meeting's over...

[Anonymous Coward]

there are potential benefits

Get it recognised as an official religion, claim tax exemptions on tithes. Unfortunately the established religions guard those perks quite jealously. New anti-discrimination laws may help with that, but the membership is unfortunately too small to make if prophetable to me.

[Paul was already taken]

@Loosers

Oi, Jedi's, some trekkies are smack talking you! Are you gonna take that or are you gonna go kick some pointy eared butt?

[The Metal Cod]

Remember

A Jedi can feel the force flowing through him... hang on, that's last night's curry

[Shady]

Undisclosed Location?

You mean, your Mom's Basement?

(Please excuse the American accent)

[Anonymous Coward]

Health grounds?

Or did he just finally meet a girl?

[Ken 16]

Light sabre practice with Captain Solo?

(I'm sure there was an Obi Wan in my coat before I hit it, where'd the elderly nonce get to?)

[Pirate Dave]

"step down for health reasons"

When 900 years you reach, look as good, you will not...

[Gulfie]

"neurolinguistic programming, as a way of dealing with people in a peaceful and calm manner"

Sounds more like Scientology than Jedi.

"These are not the Thetans you're looking for. More auditing for you."

Erm, I'll get my coat.

[Anonymous Coward]

Are women allowed?

Sounds like a less fatuous version of the Masons.

Oh, I don't know...

[Dale 3]

Lightsaber training

Do they use a Jedi mind trick to overcome the realisation that they're doing their "lightsaber" training with a stick? Because lightsabers don't actually exist, it turns out.

OTOH, this wouldn't be the first science fiction-based "religion" to have lasted long enough for there to be enough new recruits who weren't around when the first person MADE IT UP, that they actually believe it.

[steward]

Making up religions

"this wouldn't be the first science fiction-based "religion" to have lasted long enough for there to be enough new recruits who weren't around when the first person MADE IT UP"

That's for sure. Some parts of the book of Genesis make for really great science fiction.

[Yannick]

Some parts of the book of Genesis make for really great science fiction.

Phil Collins wrote his autobiography???

[lansalot]

bloody hell

Clearly, the farce is strong with that lot.

Losers.

[Anonymous Coward]

Hang on, not really losers

A belief in a supernatural force that is based on a work of fiction. Doesn't that remind you of something 5000 years old, 2000 years old, 1000 years old, 100 years old, 2 years old etc.

[Richard 120]

Religion

It can't be that much worse than some of the crap other religions come out with, and they've served their purpose as far as I'm concerned.

My life has been enhanced by their very existence because this story and the associated comments have raised a smile as a result of all the scorn heaped upon them by heathen reg readers.

You can't ask much more than that from a religion.

[Sven]

Hire from within

Non of the 31 there are able to pick up the light saber?

[Professor Tinklepants]

The perfect candidate.....

....it's gotta be the fat kid off the lightsaber You Tube Vid.

Can't get more qualified than him, no messing!

[LuMan]

Religion??! <pedant>

Jedi is not a religion! Never has been. Not even in the film. "Old Ben Kenobi" may have worn a robe and followed a religion of sorts, but it certainly wasn't Jedi!

Jedi are an order of knights, much in the same vein as the Samurai (actually, movie trivia fans, Lucas' inspiration for Jedi was the Samurai). Is Samurai a religion?? No, it bloomin' isn't. The Samurai's main religions are Shintoism, Confucianism and Zen (a form of Buddhism).

So, the next time some idiot tells you that they're religion is Jedi, tell 'em their thick and to go home, flick through their mum's Freemans catalogue and stop being so fugging stupid!

</pedant>..... and breathe!

[Tom Maddox]

Whoa . . .

Pardon me while I back away slowly.

[Big-nosed Pengie]

Pedentry perhaps

But have you noticed that all Hollywood boyzone adventure movies have to have a religion analogue, be it Jedi or whatever that idiocy is in Avatar. Americans can't conceive of a world without one, even a make-believe world.

[Rob]

Urban Legend

As far as I know I think it is also an urban legend that it's an offically recognised religion in the UK.

[JohnG]

Jedi not an official religion

That is correct, although 390000 people put "Jedi" as their religion on their 2001 census forms, the government decided to rank them with "Other". A mere 267000 listed their religion as "Jewish".

http://www.statistics.gov.uk/CCI/nugget.asp?ID=297

[JohnG]

Pedantic

"..... tell 'em their thick.... " </pedant>

".....tell 'em they're thick...." FFS

[Eduard Coli]

Religophilosophy ain't a word

Bob is/would be pleased.

Jedi, for those who are too cool for Scientology but not cool enough to be sub-genii...

Samuri was a job "to serve" and a life style, religion was secondary to all of this.

Lucas vacillates between a Samuari lifestyle and ShaoLin.

[Winkypop]

Tired of those old religions?

Why not start your own?

[philbo]

Does that mean..

..Ali Dizaei is the outgoing Jedi master?

He certainly seems to have caused a disturbance in the Force

[Marcus Aurelius]

Dizaei

The disturbance in the force will result in prisoners feeling Dizaei......