back to article Silicone implants that generate 'leccy invented for US spooks

In news sure to delight topheavy Z-list celebrities everywhere, US boffins funded by shadowy federal agencies say they have developed a new kind of silicone implant which can generate electrical power from the movements of the bodily area in which it is placed. The new technology, developed at Princeton University in the …

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  1. lansalot
    Alert

    what ?

    "the Princeton team specifies that the kit can also work in reverse"

    You ain't trying that one on me ! My trousers drop for no boffin !!

  2. Michael 28
    Happy

    I,for one.....

    .....welcome our new Tazer wielding Fembot overlords.

  3. Trygve Henriksen
    Coat

    I can see the possibilities...

    Never again will a man fail to respond when a girl rubs her jubblies against him...

    Dirty mind? Me?

    And don't ask what where I use that anorak...

  4. Neil Shepherd
    Joke

    License To Kill?

    So does this mean that 'double-O 7' is soon going to become 'double-D 7'? =;)

  5. Ian Stephenson
    Coffee/keyboard

    I can see the applications...

    Fit it to the stock of a rifle and the recoil will power your ipod in downtown Helmand.

    Wait what?

  6. MinionZero
    Happy

    "creating a material which generates electricity when squeezed, mashed or wobbled."

    Well thats the world's energy crisis solved! :)

  7. LinkOfHyrule
    Joke

    Blimey!

    Dose this mean instead of bra size, breasts will be measured in the same way as batteries?

    "Cor! Grab an eyeful of those double A sized'uns! Blimey, check out those stonking 9 volters!"

    1. TeeCee Gold badge
      Joke

      Re: Blimey!

      I see a highly profitable trade smuggling illegal "AAA"s and coin cells into Australia in the making.

  8. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge

    Something for the weekend, Sir/Madame? :-)

    Don't tell me it's Friday already!

    Wow!, where did that week go to.

    "..was memorably described as nothing more than "two bags of silicone" recently - she would presumably be able to jumpstart a truck merely by loosening her lingerie and doing a few brisk knee bends." .... The mind boggles.

  9. Gordon is not a Moron
    Grenade

    It's stroke of genius....

    Combine this tech with the Oz law requires small breasted woman to be enlarged ( http://www.theregister.co.uk/2010/01/28/australian_censors/ ), and the world's engry problems are solved!!!

  10. Intractable Potsherd Silver badge
    Happy

    Always did wonder ...

    ... where the Bionic Woman kept the power supply for her upgrades. (Strangely enough, I never conjectured about where Steve Austin kept his, though ...)

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    Is there a problem officer?

    Well officer - it may look like we've "parked up", but my passenger and I are stranded and just trying to recharge my electric vehicle.

    No really.

  12. Christoph

    One for Viz magazine

    The new Viz superheroine - Tazer Tits

  13. Bill B
    Thumb Up

    Playmobil

    But where's the Playmobil illustration of a truck powered by silicone implants?????

    Great excuse for a chat up line though "Excuse me, my batteries have run out, I wonder if you could help me ...?"

  14. Barn
    Coat

    "the Princeton team specifies that the kit can also work in reverse"

    In Soviet Russia, boobs motorboat YOU!

    Anyone...?

    IGMC.

  15. Mr Grumblefish

    There's enough material there

    for a whole series of porn vids.

  16. Graham Marsden
    Coat

    "a material which generates electricity when squeezed, mashed or wobbled"

    Excuse me, miss, but I noticed your laptop battery is running a bit low, may I lend you a hand or two...?

  17. Alex King
    Go

    Video of it in (vigorous) action...

    ...or it never happened.

  18. Pascal Monett Silver badge

    Wait a minute

    Why should we have to have those things implemented under our skin ? Couldn't they work just as well in, say, pads between our feet and our shoes ? Seems to me there's enough squeezing there to do some good in leccy generation.

    Add pads in pant seats and you'll have all the beancounters running their computers without need of a plug. And they'll be exercising as well ! Medical and economical issues gone in one stroke of genius !

    Send my check to my lawyer.

    1. Ugotta B. Kiddingme
      Coat

      er...

      Methinks someone is, perhaps, missing the opportunity here?

  19. Daniel 1

    Heidi Montag isn't going to power many batteries, then, is she?

    As I read it, the body parts involved have to be capable of actually moving, in order to generate any power. If that's the case, then most existing examples wouldn't be able to generate enough power to keep their staple guns on stand-by.

  20. Richard 23
    Thumb Up

    The world's energy crisis solved ...

    ... at a stroke! (or two, or three)

    I look forward to having a hand in developing this product

  21. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    Overheard in the Tora Bora caves...

    "Are you sure you weren't tracked here Ahmed?"

    "Of course not!"

    "OK. Nice tits though."

  22. Lionel Baden

    useless for our century

    Were all far to lazy !!!

  23. Mike Richards Silver badge

    Works in reverse

    We might have just found the perfect silent notification for SMS messages.

    THWUD - BOING! You have mail!

    1. Fred Flintstone Gold badge

      maybe not so silent..

      ..ah..ah..aaah..AAAAAH

      No, no, just an SMS

      :-)

  24. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Loads of applications...

    All silliness and allusions to the reproductive act aside, this could be (if the power output (or mechanical motion) is good enough) a useful invention. I can think of loads of potential applications, if it can provide the power or motion required.

  25. Paul Donnelly

    Errr....

    So where does one obtain a sample?

    I would be highly entertained if this research resulted in a perpetual motion machine - maybe a bit of silicone hanging down, with wires to power an electric motor that just taps it once in a while to maintain the wobbling ;)

  26. lardheppus

    Jumper Cables

    Where would one attach them?

  27. Mike Moyle

    Suicide boob- ...er ... BOMBer...

    The left one is plastique, the right one's the power supply.

    @ LinkOfHyrule --

    "Dose this mean instead of bra size, breasts will be measured in the same way as batteries?"

    I was thinking more on the lines of "Those things have gotta be 40 watts, at least!"

    1. Stoneshop Silver badge
      Grenade

      "Please fondle my bum"

      So you'd have to be careful *NOT^ to wrestle a thusly equipped terrorist to the ground (like they did with the Totally Pants bomber) lest you trigger the explosive.

    2. LinkOfHyrule
      Thumb Up

      40 watts

      "I was thinking more on the lines of "Those things have gotta be 40 watts, at least!" Hehe yes!

      Oh and it will be easy to tell which breasts are Duracell - they have gold nipples!

      1. Mike Moyle

        Trust the Coppertop...!

        ...Oh, there are just so many, aren't there?

  28. Stoneshop Silver badge
    Boffin

    Would go well

    with this: http://forums.theregister.co.uk/forum/1/2009/11/03/silk_electronic_implants/

    although those circuits would, in the case of certain individuals, require serious overvoltage protection.

  29. Meph
    Coat

    There, I fixed it for you

    Install this in every man and woman over the age of 18, buy several thousand stairmaster's and set up a rolling schedule for round the clock workouts.

    I just solved the obesity *and* green energy problems in one fell (foul? :P) swoop!

    Ok, ok, i'll get my coat :P

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