back to article French mock British G-spot probe

French experts have roundly condemned British research which concluded that the legendary G-spot is probably a myth. The King's College London team declared that the Gräfenberg Spot "may be a figment of women's imagination, encouraged by magazines and sex therapists" and that it was "rather irresponsible to claim the existence …

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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Alert

    Science vs hocus pocus

    "It cannot be reduced to a yes or no or an on or off."

    In science, it can. In astrology, numerology and g-spot-ology, it cannot.

    1. wheel

      Agreed

      Perhaps this shows they do Science differently in France than in uptight Anglo-Saxon countries. After all, why choose to seek objective evidence if you can ask people if they believe in it?

      Hey - perhaps if we asked enough people, we could Scientifically prove the existence of Bigfoot, God and Lunar Elvis.

    2. Tom Maddox Silver badge
      Thumb Down

      Good luck with that

      How often do binary answers work in psychology or indeed physiology?

      1. Richard 120

        I say

        If it isn't exact it isn't science.

  2. Tony Green
    Thumb Up

    The French are right

    And believe me fellas, once you find it and get to know how to make it work, it'll bring her to a level of ecstasy you've never seen before.

    ...and I always enjoy how she thanks me afterwards!

    1. Hugh G. Rection
      Thumb Up

      Agreed

      My sentiments exactly.

    2. andy gibson
      Happy

      @ Tony Green

      I'm also in the "I can find it" club. It's great isn't it!!!!

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Thumb Up

      @Tony Green

      You speak the truth. Those who are thumbdowning your post just aren't doing it right, or trying hard enough, or often enough, or with enough people, or something.

      1. Danny 14
        Joke

        perhaps they are just imagining sex

        or perhaps not doing it on a real woman.

        1. Fred Flintstone Gold badge

          Actually..

          .. you have a point. Maybe the blow-up versions should be equipped with one as well, just for training purposes.

          And then send a few to King's College, they certainly need it..

  3. Number6

    Line of the week

    'The researchers probed 1,800 women, identical and non-identical twins, expecting that if the G-spot existed, "both identical twins, who have the same genes, would report having one".'

    One wonders how they probed the women and how one gets such a job?

    1. theblackhand Silver badge
      Joke

      I wonder...

      Maybe the probe wasn't large enough?

      1. philbo

        It's not how large your probe is

        ..it's what you do with it

  4. Roby
    Coat

    It's on

    I'm sure our English scientists are coming up with a counter to this as we speak. It doesn't matter how good it is, the French will soon surrender if we look vaguely like we intend to win.

    1. Pascal Monett Silver badge

      the French will soon surrender

      Reminds me of Calvin (from Calvin & Hobbes) when he said "if it's funny the first time, it's funny every time !".

      Except, of course, that Calvin is just a kid.

  5. Niall 1
    Heart

    CV attached

    researchers probed 1,800 women, identical and non-identical twins

    Time for a change of job.

    1. TeeCee Gold badge
      Joke

      OI!

      Back of the bloody line sunshine!

  6. Sarah Davis
    FAIL

    Quite right too

    how stupid and inept the british researchers are! I bet they were all men whose research was just asking other men down the pub if any of them had ever found a womans g-spot. The answer came back 'No' so they had another pint and then went back to the office to write up their conclusions.... durrrrrrr, dah, ummmmm, durrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!

    They couldn't find "something brightly coloured and obvious" in a "well lit and sign-posted environment"

    1. Paul 8
      Badgers

      Hit a sore spot?

      You need to get a new bf/husband me thinks.

    2. DavCrav Silver badge

      @Sarah Davis: STFU

      I guess you claim to have a G-spot. When you survey 1800 other women and collate your findings, then you can come back and argue.

      Everybody who disagrees with a scientific conclusion with the word 'subjective' or 'probably' in it because it isn't true for them needs to remember that the plural of the word 'anecdote' is not 'data'.

      Notice that they are not claiming that it doesn't exist. They are claiming that its existence is 'subjective'. It appears to have no basis in genetics, so it is either something environmentally based or something psychosomatic.

      Of course, I might have just fed the troll..........

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Pint

        unscientific study yields unscientific results" shocker!!

        I remember reading about this "study" when it first was published last year, and from what I could understand it consisted of ASKING each of the 1800 women if they had G-Spot. No actual 'probing' was involved.

        So the frenchie is right, it just proves brit women don't know where to find their g-spot or never looked hard enough.

    3. Alex 0.1
      Stop

      Reading's hard

      Yep, damn those male british scientists coming to stupid conclusions because theyre so dumb.

      The only minor little place that complaint falls down at is that the lead scientist, Andrea Burri, is neither male or british. She's a female genetic epidemiologist from switzerland. What does that say to your and these french muppets' conclusions?

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Aha

      So that's were it is.

      Thanks for the update, I'll go and have a look now.

      B. Offin

      1. Tom Maddox Silver badge
        FAIL

        So what you're saying . . .

        . . . is that the lead scientist is from the only European nation renowned for being even more uptight and stodgy than England?

    5. Brian Morrison
      Thumb Up

      Well,....

      ....we're not all like that Sarah, some of us are prepared to go on for hours if you know what I mean :)

  7. 1of10

    G-spot nutters

    The all that matter for woman isn't existence of G-spot or not, but the feel of being complemented at all levels beside just sex. In sex terms, if she can achieve one or multiple climaxes then even better. But for that isn't even necessary to find where their G-spot is...

    Too much focus on G-spot like if it was something like a mechanical ignition engine...

    I wonder if all these scientists are looking in the wrong place LOL

    Soon the scientists will find out that the disapearence of G-spots is related to man made climate change. :)

  8. Marcus Tandy
    FAIL

    Poor show

    I'm afraid chaps, that this time the garlic-eating surrender monkeys are right!!

    Certainly an attractive contract position though, when is the follow-up research project kick-off??

  9. Rolf Howarth

    Live from the press conference

    http://xkcd.com/685/

  10. Neil Shepherd
    Coat

    Just Tell The Truth

    The researchers at King's College just need to own up and admit that they're crap in bed and haven't got the faintest idea what they're doing. It's definitely there and if you know what you're looking for and how to use it...boom!

    Mine's the one with the ecstatically happy woman who'll do pretty much anything afterwards

  11. Al fazed
    Happy

    Hand Face

    Well blow me down, the English cannot find the noses on their faces !

    If I were not English this would seem like an insult to the English.

    Being English I have ample clear evidence that this is true right across our culture, politics, law, marketing, fiscal policies.

    In this case, the results showed that the identical twins were, "no more likely to share a G-spot than non-identical twins".

    Which says more about our superstious beliefs surrounding twins, than it proves or otherwise anything about a womans biological system.

    For F*cks sake, the avarage British man has no clues as to the workings a woman's mind. So deliberating about the G spot might be better conducted and have more success if the research was done in bed, rather than in a lab.

    By the way, I do know where the G spot is and if any of our female readers would like a hand to find theirs, get in touch do. This PC does not have one, definitely ! But then neither does a MAC and Linux also definitely not, up to now anyways.

    ALF

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    So what did you do today dear?

    Other halves of researchers not going to be best pleased!

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    Maybe it is just ...

    ... the British scientists that are doing it wrong?

    If I touch this bit here is it good to go?

    Oh? The test tubes and beakers are in the way.

    <aside to lab assistant> can you move the camera and sensors over there please? Ta.

    Oops! Watch you don't twist or pull on any of the wires.

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    durrrrrrr, dah, ummmmm, durrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!

    If you constantly portray men as neanderthal dunces don't be surprised if that is exactly what you end up with.

    Of course some women prefer that, but if you have an ounce of self respect left you shouldn't be perpetuating this sexist myth.

  15. Richard 81
    Flame

    Pardon monsieur!

    Two patriotic fingers up to the French for claiming that _all_ Brits are bedroom fumblers. I'm British and I know exactly where it is on my Mrs.

  16. Richard IV
    Coat

    Variability

    "It cannot be reduced to a yes or no or an on or off."

    Presumably the French are suggesting that it can be reduced instead to a yes, yes, yes or no...

    Mine's the one with what she's having.

  17. ForthIsNotDead Silver badge
    Coat

    Well...

    The English researchers clearly don't watch the same pr0n that I do....

    Oh. I, er, said that out loud didn't I?

    <--- the one with the jazz mag in the pocket

  18. Rich Woods
    Thumb Up

    To the french...

    Which is the greater sexual accomplishment...

    finding the g-spot

    or

    finding 1800 willing volunteers, including various sets of twins, who will allow you to search them for it?

  19. Dazed and Confused Silver badge

    probed?

    The problem with the research is that they didn't probe anything. They didn't go looking for anything. They asked a group of identical and non identical twin sisters and then tried to find a difference between the two.

    Now on that methodology if 100% of there sample had said yes I have a G spot the answer coming out of the research would have still said G-Spots don't exist.

    Now in my limited experience of twin sisters I'd say they are usually pretty damn close. I would have thought that if one sis found her G-Spot then within minutes of coming down again she'd be on the phone to sis giving full details.

    As far as I know they didn't include a control sample of randomly chosen pairs of women to see whether the incidence of G-spot discovery in twins is the same as the incident in non twins.

    It would also have been nice if they'd included a figure as to the simple percentage of people in their sample groups who claimed to have one.

    1. Liam Johnson

      control sample of randomly chosen pairs of women

      No wonder you are dazed and confused. The non-idetical twins _are_ the control group.

      >>Now in my limited experience of twin sisters

      Yes, exactly the point. Which is why you can compare identical and non-identical twins and make some sort of claims about their genetic make up.

      >>randomly chosen pairs of women

      Who are not straight on the phone to sis? How would that help?

  20. Liam Johnson

    Protestant, liberal, Anglo-Saxon

    Maybe if we find the gene for Frenchness, somebody will come up with a cure.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      They are looking for a cure

      Unfortunately its British Scientists that are looking for it, so far all they have established is if a cure does exist it doesn’t contain garlic, onions, wine, cheese or body odor

    2. Yannick
      Grenade

      Au fond, a droite

      That's where you'll find it. Cor blimey, that's one heated Friday debate! I'm enjoying that, thanks El Reg!

      Ps: Once again, I'm proud to be French, get yourself a sense of humour Liam Johnson!

  21. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    What?

    GALAHAD: He says they've already got one!

    ARTHUR: Are you sure he's got one?

    GUARD: Oh, yes, it's very nice-a [To Other Guards] I told him we already got one.

    OTHER GUARDS: [Laughing]

    ARTHUR: Well, um, can we come up and have a look?

    GUARD: Of course not! You are English types-a!

  22. alyn

    Well, Sarah?

    What is your view on this? We need a female perspective.

  23. Andy 27
    Paris Hilton

    Tony Green and the French are right

    Once you know how to find it any woman will be yours after the first time with you... :-)

    Let those nerdy scientists believe whatever they want, they have probably seen women's intimates only in textbooks and on porn sites anyway...

  24. Anonymous Coward
    Linux

    The French do have a point

    There - never thought I'd say it but I just did, the French are right. That said over the years I find myself agreeing with the French more and more and more, what's going on there. Do the French in general have more common sence than us British; or are British polaticians just a bunch of wuse's.

    That said I can thing of some university types who though how do we meet women, enjoyed it and set the results in a way that they could then revisit that whole area and do some new research later on. Seriously - had they found it, they wouldn't be allowed to go looking for it again now would they as that would be a waste of money as we would know all about it. Think about it. How much money is spent trying to find Atlantis, yet if they found it, then there would be no money available for more adventures as it would already be known.

    British - cunning sexual genius's or just lost compared to the French. Alas given exams students get thesedays I'll sadly lean towards the French being the winners and I'm British.

    Using real name as anon sounds too french too me :D.

    Penguin as its closest I can see to a fish.

  25. Richard 120

    "It cannot be reduced to a yes or no or an on or off."

    I thought that was the point of it though, that a G-spot was a location that when stimulated results in intense sexual pleasure (or orgasm)?

    If it moves around or can't be found then by definition it does not exist (for the individual concerned)

  26. The Vociferous Time Waster
    Troll

    Of course there's a G-Spot

    I've found it and my fantastically attractive wife does all sorts of sordid things to me to thank me for my fabulous prowess in the bedroom.

    She's quite clearly not faking it so that I feel better about myself. I'm not lying either, I'm a sex stallion rather than an IT worker who smells slightly of cabbage and has only had sex with one woman. I mean, it's not as if I live in a culture of bragging that forces me to claim to be fantastic in bed and makes me think that being just 'OK' makes me a total failure.

    And all my partner's previous sexual partners pale into insignificance compared to me. She told me that so it must be true, she'd tell me if I was the 17th best she'd ever had wouldn't she?

  27. Anonymous Coward
    WTF?

    Odile Buisson?

    A female gynaecologistg called Bush? Really?

  28. A J Stiles
    Coat

    French vs English in the bedroom

    I once heard of a survey conducted in England and France to find out what people's favourite records were to listen to while making love.

    All the Frenchmen's answers were 33s, whereas all the Englishmen's answers were 45s.

  29. Graham Marsden

    And in other news...

    ... a group of male researchers claimed that the existence of the clitoris was a myth because they couldn't find it...

  30. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    G Spot irregularities

    Presumably they can't find it either or they would have told us where it was.

  31. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    hang on... it's not in here...

    ..or in here... I'm sure I had it a few minutes ago. Must be here somewhere...

  32. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

    Re: Of course there's a G-Spot

    Heh. I also am very impressed with the great number of studly individuals hereabouts, Mr VT Waster. But none of them like to brag about it.

  33. Sgt_Oddball Silver badge
    Boffin

    Maybe an international effort?

    Instead of the French mocking us for a study which hasn't come up with a definitive answer why don't they have a crack at themselves?

    On that note get as many countries as possible involved, maybe even using testers from one country to subjects from another?

    It should also be questioned as to if the subject believes in the G-spot to start with and if they believe in one afterwards, no?

    And what of 'that time of month'? Could the G-spot be a physiological effect to the body's own natural rhythm?

    On a final note, after years of meticulous research, my girl friend from the other side of the world believes I've found hers.. takes awhile to get the knack right but once you got it......

  34. Anomalous Cowherd Silver badge

    @ They couldn't find "something brightly coloured and obvious"

    It's brightly coloured?

    1. Danny 14
      Go

      sometimes

      only after lots of rubbing.

  35. Quiller-Nine
    Joke

    Dear King's College...

    I am very disappointed at discovering that your findings regarding the "G-Spot" study were erroneous. You seem to have frittered away your resources doing "research" and "testing" and forgot to consider the all-important "Mimoun Insistence Factor".

    I understand that my colleagues dealing with oncology research are now looking to hire Dr Mimoun to insist that an over-the-counter general cancer cure will be viable within the next 3 months and thus make it reality.

    Yours sincerely

    BC

  36. Anonymous Coward
    Joke

    can't believe how serious a debate this is!

    What is French foreplay.........

    brace yourself Bridget

  37. philbo
    Joke

    Here was me...

    ..looking for the cheese pot

  38. Bill Fresher

    Confused

    Why should a G-spot have genetical origin anymore than something like a cold sore or a wart?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Cold sores

      Because cold sores and warts come and go, they're not a permanent part of the anatomy!

      Sexual organs are, the have nerve fibres which don't grow and die.

      The G spot would have to be a bundle of nerve fibres which would respond to pressure stimulation, but when they disect that tissues in that area, they don't find any difference in the alleged G spot area than the surrounding tissues. The never fibres aren't found.

  39. IR

    Proved not much

    So they haven't actually proved what they say they did. If there was a genetic component then you would get exactly the same results if it was a dominant gene or on the X chromosome. All they have really done is rule out a more generic genetic component.

    That is assuming that the data gathering is a reliable method (asking people is pretty dodgy). Must be a few gynocologists who could ask "while I'm down here..." at the end of each appointment to get data on a large number of women. If anyone knows their way around down there it is them.

  40. Ru
    Paris Hilton

    Poor methodology.

    It generally isn't found without some concerted effort to find it. Not everyone does this, for a whole variety of reasons. This seems to be a study more about sexuality rather than physiology... the fact that (as Dr Whipple pointer out) they ignored lesbians and bisexual women in their study just lends more credence to the idea that the study was poorly thought out.

    Though one conclusion, "Women may argue that having a G-spot is due to diet or exercise, but in fact it is virtually impossible to find real traits" is probably quite reasonable, the rest is very dubious indeed.

    The correct method would probably involve twins with a common sexual partner... or perhaps triplets, with one sister acting as a 'control group'. I shall be contacting my local university forthwith.

  41. 1of10

    WHERE ARE THE PICTURES!

    Where are the pictures of those 1800 that have and don't have G-spots!

    Bring the Pictures! But only if they are above 18 yo and with big breasts coz small breasts will be blocked to our OZ friends.

  42. Jon of Monkeys
    Megaphone

    Haha

    "Look at me, I know where it is, wooooo"

    Nice one guys!

    P.s. Nobody cares

  43. regadpellagru
    Happy

    Research methodology

    I have to say the King's College London team's research methodology is appaling to a very high degree.

    Research on sexuality using polling on women *on their own perception of their body* is probably some kind of scoop !

    It's just like asking "do you have big breasts" and concluding all women have small breasts !

    I suggest them to draw conslusions on what to eat tonight by a large study on flies and the ratio of them having apetite for excrements.

    Like they say "Eat sh**, billions of flies can't be wrong".

    Like I say "Whatever a given point, there's always a statistical study to prove it"

    IT angle ? Many IT studies are conducted in the same way ...

  44. cookieMonster
    Thumb Up

    Vive la France

    I'm here, and loving it :-)

  45. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    Found it !

    Oooooo ... I knew it was there somewhere. That's such a good use for a Friday afternoon. God, I love these working-from-home days.

  46. Ed Deckard
    Thumb Down

    Dr. Odile Buisson

    "I don't want to stigmatise at all but I think the Protestant, liberal, Anglo-Saxon character means you are very pragmatic. There has to be a cause for everything, a gene for everything. It's totalitarian."

    To think of the time and energy I've spent online arguing with francophobes and then the good doctor goes and says something like this.

  47. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    Oh

    So the g-spot has nothing to do with wireless connectivity?

    Paris. She can use my dongle anytime.

  48. Anonymous Coward
    FAIL

    It's Édith Cresson all over again...

    "I don't want to stigmatise at all but I think the Protestant, liberal, Anglo-Saxon character means you are very pragmatic. There has to be a cause for everything, a gene for everything. It's totalitarian."

    To which the crowd of black-polo-neck-wearing, heavy-smoking aspiring artists and philosophers, crowded in the dark cellar bar in a Paris back street, nodded in sage agreement.

  49. Col

    "...share a G-spot..."

    How would that work then? Does it affect both twins simultaneously, or do they have to pass it back and forth on some kind of rota?

  50. Andrew Matthews 1

    Handy Andy

    According to research, about 30% of women can achieve orgasm through "cervical tapping", contrary to the more common clitoral induced orgasm.

    So, clearly demonstrating that the lack of uniformity in any population, human, male/female or any other, is not surprising.

  51. Craig 28

    Perhaps they should

    Also investigate whether identical and non-identical twins in regard to their culinary tastes, sexual preference and sexual tastes in terms of acts.

    Some people, male and female alike, enjoy anal sex and others don't. Why isn't it possible that some women enjoy G-spot stimulation to various degrees while others do not? In the anal example it is pure personal preference, the structures involved are very much alike. Similarly it is possible there is a structure to represent the G-spot but that some women do not gain pleasure from its stimulation. My arm is very much alike to yours but yours may not be ticklish while mine is.

    Biology is rarely so cut and dried.

  52. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    a few things

    "The gloomy conclusion to be drawn from this unholy spat is that we uptight Protestants will have to continue to make do with fish and chips, lager and second-rate sex while the French enjoy haute cuisine, fine wines and earth-shattering climaxes."

    Since I like lager and don't like wine, I'm quite happy.

    Fish and chips also tends to be more satisfying than a sliver of something on a bed of something else - all the size of a 50p peice but 100 times more expensive.

    and you missed something out - the French also enjoy tiny willies and garlic breath. (Both my French girlfriends told me that)

  53. Cortland Richmond
    Thumb Up

    Hang on there!

    "make do with fish and chips, lager and second-rate sex "

    But wasn't it a British couple who got ASBO'd because they were too loud?

    Maybe it's the vinegar.

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