back to article Oz firm seeks talented IT developer

One of Oz's "leading privately owned Transport companies" last Friday posted an ad on the country's "#1 job site" looking for an IT operative. However, some ne'er-do-well quickly jumped in and added a pretty specific range of talents: The Border Express job ad grabbed from Oz's seek job site Border Express told El Reg: "The …


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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    interesting that they were still an equal opportunities employer....

    Type your comment here — plain text only, no HTML

  2. DanielC


    Also... They cannot seem to spell Developer - oo!?

    But I guess that is the least of their worries with an advert like that!

    1. Kevin Reader
      Thumb Up

      That was a bit of a boob!

      Or part of the joke.

  3. gumbald


    Rules me out.

  4. Phill Sacre
    Thumb Up

    Gotta love Australians

    I bet someone complained there was something offensive on the advert, so they removed SQL Server.

    1. Count Ludwig


      Coincidence tthat the job is located in NSW?

      BTW Phil, you owe everyone in my office a new keyboard.

  5. Simon 79

    WTF is a "develooper"

    Nice advert.... not sure I meet the requirements though - my moobs may only be a B cup.

    Urgh... mental floss needed...

    1. Richard Atkins
      Thumb Up

      Etymological derivation of the word develooper

      Appears to be a compound formed from the word 'developer' and the pictogram 'oo' which I presume indicates breasts.

  6. Tom Simnett

    Yes... lowered the bar

    "Applicants must be prepared to undergo a pre-employment" ... what?!

  7. Moz
    Paris Hilton


    On the second ad, Neisha Webster seems to have gotten the heave-ho as well. She obviously didn't measure up to the job...

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    Looks like there could be a vacancy in HR soon

    Looks like a vacancy in HR could be opening up shortly (no bad thing in itself).

    Paris - just because!!

  9. Gianni Straniero


    I imagine they'll soon be advertising another vacancy, perhaps in the HR department.

  10. Andrew Newstead
    Thumb Up


    do I read these things while I'm eating lunch?

    1. Richard 81


      Half chewed sandwiches all over your keyboard perchance?

  11. Anonymous Coward

    Very precise requirements are a must

    I jokingly suggested to my boss that D cup or larger was a job requirement (for an interview I was not involved in) and he came back and said "result!". Pity she was more Jo Brand than Jo Whiley.

  12. Bob H


    I've worked with a few tight t**ts in my time, but they all had smaller moobs.

  13. chrullrich
    Thumb Up

    In other news ...

    ... they are also offering the position of a job ad writer -- position available immediately, only available to persons without any sense of humour.

  14. spezzer

    hats off

    classy prank!

  15. Hugh G. Rection

    Back in the day

    before PC and discrimination, we put an ad in the window for a "good looking 18 year old female" to work in the packing area, and had a number of applicants, one of whom filled the position admirably.

    Wouldn't get away with it now.

    1. Trixr


      And nor would the idiots in not-dissimilar industries knocking back female applicants like me because of "heavy lifting". Maybe I wasn't wearing a sufficiently low-cut top for those twunts. >:-[

  16. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    Like so many HR depts, i have a feeling this one neglected to proof read stuff job descriptions and some "funny" developer sent them something that clearly needed editing but wasn't... if i was Ms Webster's boss i would be asking how she let that one go too!!

  17. Peter 39


    ... but Albury !! (I guess all the Albury folks will get upset now)

  18. Anonymous Coward

    with covering letter


  19. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    a caAreer...

    is the HR person/thing slydexic or a true illiteratum ??

  20. Hollerith 1

    Ah, would that we could

    I'd love to have an advert for a developer that required slim, well-scrubbed, sober, good looking bloke, well-hung and well buff, with good social skills, if only for the eye-candy, but I would be faced with probably one Polish candidate. If that.

    But of course every male developer I've known secretly thinks any girl is lucky to get him. Well, every male.

  21. Robert Carnegie Silver badge

    Male or female, must be attractive, Bristol area

    Thank you Ronnie Barker...

    I was trying to work out whether "develooper" is jargon for object oriented programming developer. The company appears to be object oriented in a fairly unfortunate way.

  22. Anonymous Coward

    Note to self...

    ...must buy more monitor screen wipes!

  23. Field Marshal Von Krakenfart
    Gates Horns

    Balanced approach

    That’s disgusting, to avoid any claims of gender discrimination they should have advertised for:-

    DD Cup breasts, slim waist, tight twat


    Well developed pecs, slim waist, huge c0ck

    icon, nearest thing to a big tit, was going to us the paris icon but she fails on two counts.

  24. Bassey

    minds me

    Our HR were clearing out some old "review" forms. One, from over 25 years ago, had such questions as;

    Please describe the reviewee's build;

    skinny, medium, large, fat, very fat

    Please describe the reviewee's overall attitude;

    Pleasant, acceptable, unpleasant

    It went on like that. HR were horrified to see such questions and prescribed answers. I thought they were surprisingly open, honest and useful - which explains HR's objections.

  25. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

    Re: minds me

    You're kidding, right? It's only a few years before that that job ads were still allowed to request a "pretty" or "blonde" secretary. There's a reason they can't do that any more.

    1. Jerome 0

      Re: minds me

      Because the people who write the legislation are all mingers?

    2. Steve X


      Shortage of applicants?

    3. This post has been deleted by its author

  26. Anonymous Coward

    Re: minds me

    They were only using the accepted terminology of the time; nowadays the interviewer would be ask to rate their pleasantness against a celebrity scale,....

    Does the candidate remind you off,...

    (a) HRH Queen Elizabeth (b) Julia Bradbury or (c) Jade Goody?

    1. This post has been deleted by its author

  27. Anonymous Coward

    Outstanding Practice

    If you look on the About Us section of the Border Express website, they boast of their Equal Opportunity for Women in the Workplace Award 2008. I quote "outstanding EEO practice for the advancement of women in non-traditional roles".

  28. Robert E A Harvey


    Quite a lot of my bosses have /been/ a tight tw@, especially in the bar. Never heard of anyone advertising for one, though.

  29. Border Express

    Official Response

    Border Express Pty Ltd wishes to advise that the job advertisement discussed here was hacked and modified, after it was originally posted to the seek website. This is the result of a security breach external to Border Express Pty Ltd.

    This matter is currently being investigated by Seek and Australian police and in NO way is Border Express Pty Ltd responsible for posting the aforementioned article in that context.

    Border Express Pty Ltd has requested that update the article to reflect this information.

    The article has now been returned to its original correct form which is available here:

    We would also mention that job articles posted to seek must be manually edited at the time of posting and therefore it is highly unlikely that this was "overlooked" by an internal staff member.

    Thank you.

    1. heyrick Silver badge

      Enquiring minds want to know...

      Did you get any applicants?

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Dear Border Express, Bubbly is the PC term....

      For inspiration see the NBN's requirements for a PA:

      or just search seek for "bubbly"

    3. Mark 65

      Who cares?

      It was bloody funny, get over it.

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Thumb Up

      the real question is....

      How many DD cup wasp-waisted twats that were otherwise qualified actually applied for the job expect that the additional qualifications would be worth a higher salary?

    5. alien anthropologist

      @Border Express's Official Response

      So.. you are saying that you discriminate against SQL Server developers with DD cups, slim waist and a tight twat?

  30. Il Midga di Macaroni
    Paris Hilton

    Work ethic?

    What kind of work ethic are they after? I'd have just cut that last bit right out.

    This reminds me of an article Toll (another Oz transport company) got in one of the papers a while back. It seems they are the soft hearted saviours of the community because they put former outcasts of society into good solid jobs. One of their receptionists was a former prostitute...

    Paris because... just because.

  31. Okon
    Thumb Down

    Hacked by a foreigner

    This was obviously done by a non-Australian. Why? Because they got the slang wrong. 'Twat' doesn't mean the same thing in Australia. Instead, it is a general-purpose pejorative, like 'idiot' or 'dickhead'.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Thumb Up

      Definitely hacked by a foreigner

      This was clearly done by a non-Australian. They used a semi-colon as punctuation.

  32. Robert Heffernan
    Paris Hilton


    I got all the required job attributes, and I even live in Albury (and ride past the Border Express office daily) But unfortunately I am a little lacking in the Breast department! Oh well!

    *Paris, cos even she doesn't fit the job description!

  33. CarbonBased

    As expected

    A FORMER employee has confessed to hacking into an online advertisement for a Border Express job and changing it to make a “slim waist” and “DD cup breasts” the criteria.

    The man, who did not wish to be named, handed himself in to police following an article in The Border Mail last Thursday.

    The self-confessed hacker said he was a former member of the human resources department and “all too aware” of the importance the company places on equal opportunity.

    “He wasn’t disgruntled or anything, he just mucked up... he got on the turps one night and it went from there.

  34. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    We made it onto Speak You're Branes with this story!

    That took longer than I expected.

  35. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)




    This pleases me. This pleases me no end.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward


      I thought it might.

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