Celebrity goat declines Britain's Got Talent gig

A "gifted" goat elevated to YouTube stardom by a short vid of his ability to greet schoolkids down on the farm will not appear on Britain's Got Talent, despite producers' desperate attempts to lure him before the cameras. Anglo-Nubian goat Darren has sadly "waved goodbye to a chance to become the next Susan Boyle" after …

[Anonymous Coward]

Should that be "Britain's GOAT Talent"?

uhhhh ...

[Martin 49]

It Depends....

" The question of what is the maximum acceptable distance for a goat to travel for a "five-minute trick" remains provocatively unanswered. "

It depends entirely on the quality & cleanliness of the destination red-light district lady-goats.

[Anonymous Coward]

WTF

Only PETA could try give fish a new PR image by naming them Sea Kittens!!

Time they got a grip on reality, and maybe a life.

AC because everyone's out to get me

[Bluewhelk]

Sea Kittens?!

I mean which brain dead idiot thought that one up. It fails to work on so many levels that I just don't know where to start counting!

Oh yeah, PETA, as you were.

[Sarah Bee]

Re: Should that be "Britain's GOAT Talent"?

Yes. Yes it should.

[Anonymous Coward]

tut tut...

Really shouldn't you be using the new Reply to facility? or is there an internal rebellion ensuing?

[mafoo]

Umm... Tricks

I saw this great trick with goat once where they smothered it in five spice and grilled it.

Served with hoi sin and iceberg lettuce, it was truly something to behold.

I'm sure the goat traveled a few hours, and was to amazing it only lasted 5 mins on my plate.

[criscros]

goats have feelings too

And no self-respecting goat would go on BGT.

[pctechxp]

scraping the bottom of the barrel/trough

While I'll admit its rather impressive, surely its time BGT was axed if they are having to resort to waving goats to bring in the viewers?

Mind you, it along with X Factor shouldn't have really been commissioned.

[lukewarmdog]

Maximum Acceptable Distance

Would that be laden or unladen?

[James O'Shea]

what a waste

That goat shouldn't be stuck on a farm, it should be in Parliament. It certainly seems brighter than half the NuLab backbench...

[Anonymous Coward]

Only half?

It's probably brighter than most of the front bench too..

I'll get me goat..

[Anonymous Coward]

Even hell must be getting some snow!

A celebrity with some self-respect! I don't believe it. Maybe he's just trying to get them to up the appearance fee.

[Anonymous Coward]

Just as well

Just as well, I dont think goats should be doing five minute tricks on the telly. That sort of thing may be OK in a red light district but not on family TV shows.

Thats all I have to say, I'm off out to get a medium battered sea kitten and chips take away.

[Ian Ferguson]

Amazing!

Goes to prove yet again that YouTube holds many more fascinations than BGT.

[shay mclachlan]

maybe

Maybe the goat turned down ITV because its hoping to get the Woss slot thats up for grabs over on the BBC.

[Steven Raith]

Goat talent?

I hear tales of goats doing *far* more talented things in certain progressive dutch media. Such as finding the G-spot. Hell, if you believe the womens press, most men can't do that. Must be pretty talented then?

As for the PETA/sea kittens - I saw that, then went down the chippy to get myself some rock and chips. Lovely.

Steven R

[SaulM]

Britain's Future Boyles Collectively Relieved

No doubt there will be sighs of relief from the next round of muppets lining up for BGT. Those few that actually have sufficient brain cells to make the connection will have realised they won't have to prove they they are more talented than a goat. Probably just as well.

Mind you, it hasn't stopped Piers Morgan.

[James 5]

It'd be worth it...

.. just to see Darren wave goodbye to SiCow !

In this part of the UK it's always been "Britain goat talent" :

http://news.scotsman.com/scotslanguage/The-coo39s-goat-sluppra-in.5674836.jp

[Anonymous Coward]

@Steven Raith (surely anonymous coward)

"finding the G-spot. Hell, if you believe the womens press, most men can't do that"

And if you've followed recent research, it doesn't exist which is why men can't find it. Expecting partners to remember and celebrate certain dates and anniversaries is acceptable, locating that which does not exist is not.

[Apocalypse Later]

Simon Cowell...

...always gets my goat.

[Havin_it]

The question...

"* The question of what is the maximum acceptable distance for a goat to travel for a "five-minute trick" remains provocatively unanswered."

Shurely a job for the El Reg Standard Measurements team. Now would that be in/absent a vacuum, and impeded/unimpeded by Bulgarian Airbags?

PS, @ Ms. Bee: I'll have you know here in Subo's part of the world (the Loathians) we've always called it Britain's Goat Talent. 's'aw'n the accent, ken?

[Anonymous Coward]

Stupid Goat

Stupid goat...

[Anonymous Coward]

To paraphrase Charlie Brown

He wanted to be a goat but ended up the hero.

[Anonymous Coward]

5 Minute Trick - How far to travel

Two thoughts here:

1. If its "five minutes" as stated by my Mrs when she's "almost ready" and we are due to be somewhere else, then any distance seems to be worth that length of time. Especially if she's not doing the driving

2. If it is a give minute "trick", then I beleive that you need to travel just far enough to ensure you wont be recognised by friends as you hire/ply the necessary trade.

[Anonymous Coward]

Easy answer

>acceptable distance for a goat to travel for a "five-minute trick"

It all depends how much the trick is prepared to pay.

[Matt Martin]

A whole day

and not a single cat fish joke.....

[Evil Auditor]

Sea Kittens? WTF

As long as it tastes like fish I really don't care how you, PETA or anyone else calls it.