IPS in cunning 'get an ID card, get crucified' scheme The Identity and Passport Service's hilariously triste efforts to make ID cards cuddly has passed another millstone (shurely 'milestone?' - Ed). As a follow-up to plastering its propaganda with happy fingerprints, IPS now has a flash animation of them as well - derived, weirdly, from a movie you might be familiar with. With a …
who was crucified by the totalitarian Romans, who incidentally also crucified Jesus Christ for, well, nothing really if the Bible story is to believed. Now wishes to try and paint him as a Roman sympathizer.
Whatever next, Mother Theresa as an Angel of Death, Gandhi with an AK-47, these government workers would push the patience of a saint, so I suppose all things possible.
You can't make this stuff up.
My theory is that they wanted to do "I'm Brian" (which would have worked) then someone reminded them that the scene was based on Spartacus.
Clearly the group which put this together and approved it haven't a braincell between them.
No surprise there. Did you see Michael Howard on Celebrity Mastermind? He came last with 12 and believe me the show was really dumbed down for the occasion. If that's the (former) leader of a major political party we can see how clueless politics must be generally.
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The slaves shouted 'I'mSpartacus' voluntarily, willing to be tortured and killed in their hero's place.
That kind of volunteerism is exactly what was asked for from Manchester, and yet they failed to step up to the honour. Shame, shame and yet again, Mancunians, shame. They will never make a movie about you.
> I respect the laws... I have applied for an ID card.
There's no law says you have to apply for an ID card, so you're making up entirely imaginary new ones that don't even exist just to show how keen you are.
That's no mere "respect"; that's "world-class brown-nosing", is what that is!
I'm thinking of investing in a company that can make covers for finger tips so that people can give ID cards the same fingerprint.
Then we all become Spartcus
Or more likely, the entire population gets rounded up under suspicion when one of us does something wrong and gets caught.
With the added bonus we all get put on the peodo register just because we were once arrested in connection with a case of shoplifting
> "What are the benefits of the card?
* It’s a more secure form of identity – Built-in security features make this a more secure way to help protect your identity against fraud."
Actually it isn't a form of identity, my identity is a form of identity. The card is a form of documentation. Besides, more secure than WHAT?
> "* You can use it for travel within Europe – The National Identity Card works like a passport within the European Economic Area (EEA) and Switzerland. "
Why would I want something that 'works like a passport' but with none of the benefits of being a passport? sounds GREAT.
> "* It’s convenient and portable – You just need to carry the one card to quickly help prove your age or identity. "
Like my drivers licence?
> "* It will help to protect the public – Our checks mean that criminals and terrorists will not be able to successfully apply for cards using multiple identities. "
A) Yes they will. and B) You don't need multiple identities to blow things up, you stupid stupid dolts.
And those are the only four reasons they give in the case for identity cards. None of them even backed up with proof or evidence. I am gobsmacked.
You ARE slaves. Given to the government at birth by your perants in exchange for a faximaly of a birth certificate.
So stop complaining IPS are just pionting out the facts of life.
I suspect you even think you own vehicals. If thats the case why do they give you a V5 with your name and address on it as the registerd keeper and not the owner?
And while we are on the subject the V5 is a grant of use, not to you the man or woman who paied for the vehical but the fictional legal personality that is MR/MRS X at Y address.
If you don't beleve me look up John Harris on youtube and he will explain the law far better than I can.
Methinks mayhap a gent who was sitting on the committee who chose this commercial may have thrown out the idea sarcastically to the rest of the committee but the rest of the committe being uneducated missed the joke and the nice gentleman who suggested the commercial kindly chuckled to himself as the committe proved to him that the old proverb is true being that a committee's intelligence can be summed up as the lowest intellect in the committee divided by the total number of committee participants.
This has to be the worst propaganda ever, who on earth wants Spartacus to get caught? I guess that civil servants watching that movie must have thought that he was meant to be a rebellious, disobedient villain and consider it a strongly moral movie with a happy ending.
In that light, can I suggest a few other remakes that the government might like to consider?
Robin Hood - Applaud the noble Sherriff of Nottingham as he captures the desparate youth villain Robin the Hoodie and his entire gang of criminals by forcing everyone in Sherwood to carry ID cards. Laugh as he takes the last gold coin from a peasant family who forgot to update their address when they moved hovel!
The Great Escape - Pretty obvious this one - "Papieren Bitte" - celebrate as Germany's strong ID card system allows the dangerous jail-breakers to be recaptured before they can commit any crimes while on bail!
Star Wars - Relax in a feeling of smug satisfaction as the illegal attempt to release the terrorist suspect Leia from her entirely legitimate 28-day detention and waterboarding falls at the first hurdle when Luke and the rest can't produce biometric ID cards and the guards see through their trivial disguises before they even get out of the hangar on the Death Star!
Terminator - Arnie comes back from the future, logs into the ID card database, and is immediately able to track Susan Connor to her home address and dispatch her with ease, despite her best efforts to remain ex-directory. Rejoice as the world is saved from the danger of not ending up as a futuristic techno-dystopian machine-dominated nightmare reality!
etc. etc. etc... I feel sure that people will proudly want to associate themselves with the Roman Empire, Sherriff of Nottingham, Nazi soldiers, Imperial Stormtroopers, and remorseless amoral killing machines aimed at the destruction of all humanity.
Or at least that's who the government seems to /think/ our heroes should be.
There are those of us who are willing to stand up and say "NO! I will NOT have an ID card."
We will stand up and say "If you are going to prosecute one of us, you'll have to prosecute ALL of us!"
That is, of course, entirely the whole point of the "I'm Spartacus" scene at the end of the film, the slaves are willing to give their lives to show their defiance against the oppressors is undaunted.
Yet this point has gone entirely over the IPS' heads and they think that the slaves should have all pointed out who Spartacus was to save themselves.
Yet again the truth of Ben Franklin's words is shown "Those who give up essential liberties for temporary security deserve neither liberty nor security".
>"Yet this point has gone entirely over the IPS' heads and they think that the slaves should have all pointed out who Spartacus was to save themselves."
I don't think so, I think their belief is that Spartacus should be so proud of his identity that he should have jumped up and pointed himself out, shouting "No, me, me, I'm the real Spartacus and I've gone a long way out of my way and spent my own time and money to prove it".
Equally daft though, I grant you.
As far as I can make out from historical record, when the Romans crucified Spartacus there was no tinpot official there to present him with the bill for the wood and nails.
Personally I like to think that had revolt against the Imperium carried a penalty of optional crucifixion at your own expense and the Romans had offered Spartacus and his mates the chance to volunteer, they'd have politely declined the invitation.
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