back to article 25kg of cocaine hits Spanish supermarket shelves

Drug smugglers in Spain are at least 25 kilos of cocaine short after boxes of bananas in which they'd hidden the Bolivian marching powder ended up on supermarket shelves. The alarm was raised on Saturday morning when several one kilo packets were found in a box of "enormous green tropical bananas" in a Madrid branch of …

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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Hmmm...

    Wonder if any made it to the UK. I'm off shopping... to Lidl.

  2. Hein Behrens

    100kg

    More than 100kg of cocaine is still missing, the police arrested the smugglers before they could pick up the bananas at the wholse market in Madrid. So out the bananas went to Lidl all over Spain. Off to Lidl now to get some..

  3. Matt 13
    Thumb Up

    title

    And people put down these cut price supermarkets for their lack of variety!! where else could you buy banannas, milk, 2 way motorcycle radio and cocane all in one go!!!

    and dont forget Lidl's catch phrase 'cheaper!'

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    Lidl new year offers?

    Was this a smuggling mistake or did Lidl's buying department just get into the christmas spirit?

  5. Elmer Phud
    Unhappy

    Not Fair!

    I don't have a Lidl near me and Aldi don't seem to include 'exotic bananas' in thier special offers.

  6. Winkypop Silver badge
    Thumb Up

    Come Mr tally man, tally me bananas

    I'm just off to Lidl to get some coke...

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Down

    high prices

    There goes any chance of getting cheap bananas for the next few weeks.

  8. Secretgeek
    Happy

    21st century myth

    There used to be a story that you could dry banana skins and smoke them. Apparently.

    A kilo bag of coke with your 'nanas seems like a much simpler way to get high and at 2 euros a bunch definitely a bargain too!

    1. Anonymous Coward
      WTF?

      Smoking banannas

      From the jolly rogers cookbook as i recall.

      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bananadine

      Tried it, and peanut skins, and tea.

      Did FA except make me cough my lungs out.

      1. DaveK
        IT Angle

        Bananadine myth vaguely based on half-understood reality.

        There is actually quite a lot of 5HT (serotonin) in banana peel, but it can't cross the blood-brain barrier, so smoking them, or any other kind of ingestion isn't going to work. You'd basically have to extract it into liquid form and then inject it straight through your skull directly into your brain to get some kind of a hit off it.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Thumb Up

          Breaking the brain-blood barrier...

          OK, so all I have to do is inject liquefied banana peel directly into my brain, and I get a serotonin surge? SIGN ME UP!!!! I'll even get a port installed if it really flies! Or, if I really fly...

          1. Ken Hagan Gold badge

            Getting a port installed

            You can do that by drilling through one of your eye sockets. Better make that a cordless drill, so you can do it in the bathroom. Have the bananas ready, though, coz you'll need your first serotonin surge pretty soon after creating the port.

            Alternatively, you might pause to reflect that if Mother Nature In Her Wisdom has set up a blood-brain barrier, it's probably there for a reason.

    2. Poor Coco
      Happy

      Hallucinogenic banana skins

      That is actually true, although whether they affect people is doubtful. I can assure you that my cockatoo and a few of my budgies were hooked stone-cold on banana skins; I had to keep the bananas locked in a cupboard to keep the birds away from them.

  9. SuperSooty
    Thumb Up

    Great Nanny Plan

    I'm totally loving this, it's got to be the best plan to encourage the populus to eat their five-a-day...

  10. Tom Melly

    An Easy Mistake?

    I'm always amazed this doesn't happen more often - do drug smugglers have state-of-the-art shipment tracking? I assume not...

  11. TeeCee Gold badge
    Coat

    "enormous green tropical bananas"

    Apparently they were perfectly ordinary bananas before the contents of the box were carelessly spilled during opening.

    Snow in the festive season? Who could have seen that coming?

  12. Mandrin
    Paris Hilton

    Marketing opportunity!

    "Shop at Lidl and pay $100 a toot for Christmas banana sherbet!"

    Paris, coz she knows exactly what to do with bananas and sherbet.

  13. David Edwards

    Thats why Kerry Katonas

    Off to LIdl............................

  14. Jad
    Happy

    Mobsters ...

    Can anyone else imagine the faces of the gangsters receiving a delivery of bananas?

    I definitely wouldn't want to be the guy who arranged this :)

  15. Steven Raith
    FAIL

    A good source of potassium

    ...and tooth grinding, gurning and talking utter bollocks, now.

    Steven R

  16. Titus Aduxass
    Coat

    It's simply a ruse by Lidl to lure more customers

    ...most of them IT bods by the sound of it.

    Mine's the coat with the map to my nearest Lidl in the pocket

  17. Anonymous Coward
    FAIL

    truly epic smuggling fail

    I'd hazard a guess that the perps enjoyed their own imports ? Never a good indicator of competence. Either way, win for spanish police, epic fail for the perps.

  18. robert cooke
    FAIL

    OK, who else misread this part?

    They tipped them out onto a table and began sifting them

    --- misread as; ---

    They tipped them out onto a table and began sniffing them

    1. James O'Brien
      Joke

      *raises hand*

      Yeah I had to read it again to make sure I read it right. Though what I do wonder about is why didnt they just use FedEx? Guaranteed delivery anywhere :P and its not like FedEx give a shite about whats in the package.

    2. Thimmus
      Headmaster

      I did.

      And the picture would be good reconstructed using Playmobil.

  19. Rob

    RFID

    These crims were obviously behind the times and not using RFID tagged stock.

  20. J 3
    Pint

    Gimme a drink...

    ...one with rum and offending bananas in it.

  21. Bad Beaver
    Thumb Down

    Lidl...

    ... well known for its incredible bargains, this being just another one.

  22. Anonymous Coward
    Grenade

    Someone when to spain for the holidays

    and all I got was a couple of cases of bananas. Bastards!

  23. rick buck
    FAIL

    How Ripe!

    and words fail to...

  24. TeeCee Gold badge
    Stop

    Those smugglers.

    A "sensational error" eh?

    Presumably the sensation that they are referring to here is that of having ones bollocks nailed to the table by a stony-faced henchman as the boss asks yet again where his nose candy is.

  25. Steve Evans

    So....

    Does this mean the banana will now become the El Reg unit of measurement for drugs?

    1. Thomas 4
      Alert

      Intruiging idea sir....

      ....how exactly would such a measurement work?

      Do you take the volume of the banana to be simply the fruit, or fruit plus skin? Do you use the term bunch for dealing with large quantities of drugs based on the Banana scale?

  26. Jason Yau
    Go

    Would

    this count as one of my five fruits and veg a day?

  27. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    I've heard of....

    ...Cherry Coke but this is just taking the piss.

    Paris - Doh.. by dose.

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