back to article BOFH: Key performance undertakers

The PFY and I happened to stay out a little late at a Christmas do and unfortunately ended up in the company of some industry commentators - never a good move. Given that the PFY and myself know the perils of drinking with reporters - people who drink for a living and for whom seven pints of overproof cider counts both as an …


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  1. Rhys Briffett
    Thumb Up


    Did the PFY just..?

  2. Valerion
    Thumb Up

    Where's episode 16?

    Did I miss it or is this just a numbering error that can be easily put down to too much eggnog?

    1. Joel 1


      For some reason, Episode 16 got posted here:

  3. Admiral Grace Hopper
    Thumb Up

    Ah, real boy-to-man stuff

    Happy Christmas to all at BoFH Towers.

  4. Tweets


    Please say this isn't the end of the BOFH!!!

    Good article as ever, Simon! Happy BOFH christmas to you!

  5. jan 11

    a good new episode

    ahh well merry x-mas and cya sometime in late januarry when were all back from vacation

  6. Anonymous Coward
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    Excellent... as ever Simon. Happy Christmas...

  7. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge

    Buffoons never Learn and thus always Suffer Slings and Arrows of Outrageous Misfortune .

    The moral of the tale being ...... Don't Kid a Kidder or Fcuk around with Laid Back Expert Professional Help ...... and Big Easy Connected Main Leads to Virtualising Machinery.

    Merry Xmas, Simon, and Thanks for a Year of Titters.

  8. noroimusha

    Smells like

    The spirit of christmas love and all is arriving...

    Off to "degauss" some HDDs

    Mine is the one with the very powerful magnet and the steel mesh lining

  9. Tim Schomer

    Aaahhh, that'd better

    Just what I needed, a BOFH on my last day at work before Xmas.

    Seems like the PFY is getting a little brave of late (or is that foolish...)

    Merry Xmas everyone.

  10. Richard North


    I love the smell of burning flesh in the morning...

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Anon for a reason ....

    Anyone ever notice that the old BOFH articles include a copyright notice.

    New BOFH stories do not appear to have it?

    Is it possible that the reg has obtained the copyright to new BOFH?

    Possible there is a new BOFH and we havent been told?

    Perhaps the PFY took over, and is playing BOFH, with the real BOFH sitting someone in a riser, rotting?

  12. Andrew Halliwell


    I can't believe the BoFH would FALL for something so obviously trappy laid by the PFY.

    1. Linda Chapman

      Ah, but . . .

      He was extremely hung over, and thus his defenses were down!

  13. NukEvil

    BOFH on a Wednesday??

    That can't be good...where's the yuletide cheer of breaking the hallowed tradition of posting BOFH episodes on a Friday?

    Keyboard, because there was something about a keyboard in this episode...

    1. alyn

      Are you Planning to work on Friday?

      I'll be comatose in front of the TV or venting off the effects of the sprouts.

      No, I'll keep my present keyboard, thanks

    2. Anonymous Coward
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      Who Knows

      Could be a special ep! Might even be another on Friday?

      Oooo look at that flying pig

  14. Steve X

    Bit disappointing

    When I saw "wireless KVM" all sorts of thoughts about remote-controlled beancounter systems went through my mind. Missed opportunity there, guys...

  15. Peter Gathercole Silver badge

    How do PFY's progress...

    ...when their youthfulness is waning? After all, even with his diet, he should be over that acne by now?

    Dead man's shoes maybe?

    It's harder to kill BOFHs than this! After all, he's survived an attempt before.

  16. Ball boy Silver badge

    ...And a merry Christmas to you, Simon

    For a years' worth of entertaining reading and your outstanding contribution to the general good humour in our office!

    Can I ask everyone to join me in raising a glass to Mr. Travaglia by ticking the 'thumbs up'?

  17. John G Imrie

    The big question?

    Was that last


    *Scratchy scratchy.*

    1) The BOFF falling for the PFY's plan.

    2) The PFY discovering the new metallic floor covering

    3) The head bean counter coming to complain about the billing for the latest keyboard to be installed in been counter central.

    You decide!

  18. Anonymous Coward


    Just what I needed before Christmas.

    Now, where did I leave that special network cable...the one that allows you to bridge RJ-45 and IEC connections?

  19. Linbox

    Comedy Gold

    “How does a piano accordion solo end well?”

    “With a gunshot.”

    Thanks Simon!

    1. Stratman

      The definition of perfect pitch

      Throwing an accordian into a skip and hitting a set of bagpipes.

      1. Dave Harris

        Thank you Stratman

        Of course the pub is now wondering why I just spat my beer

  20. Stephen White

    Episode 16

    Seems not to be linked from though

  21. J Day


    Love the use of the word spaz !!!

  22. Will Godfrey Silver badge

    What a nice Christmas present.

    Says it all really, well almost.

    I really don't thenk the BOFH has fallen for this, more like he spotted it then zapped the PFY

  23. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward



    Or business as usual? Only time will tell...


  24. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Aaaah..., I mean, KZEEEERRRRRTt!

    This could be the beginning of a long, funny story of retribution and retaliation between the BOFH and the PFY... memories of "adventure mode" in the basement come to my mind...

    Although, I really thought that they would fix the beancounter's keyboard with the spare parts from CEO's cellphone and City of Westiminster's ticketing machine, then make a couple of anonymous calls...

  25. Pirate Dave Silver badge

    The bad thing about

    a BOFH story on Wednesday is that I still get the Friday Thirst after reading it.

    Good laughs today though, so I'll just have to suffer through the thirst.

    1. Mike Flugennock

      Yeah, but...

      ...since Friday is Christmas, and tomorrow is Christmas Eve, it pretty much works out that The Bastard's episode comes out today and, as is fitting, you get the Friday Thirst. Think of it as practice for the Big Day.

      So, aaa-aaanyway, all together now: " here it is, Merry Christmas; everybody's having fun..."

  26. Ugotta B. Kiddingme

    Happy ChristmaHanuKwanzaakkah to all

    and too all a good pint!

    So, Simon, may we expect part I of BOFH: The Retribution by New Year's Eve?

  27. vincent himpe

    nah, i'm sure the BoFH planned it

    He just used it as a reason to get out of there, so all the traps he set could come in to motion. The PFY will get in the face. And when the traps spring , they will do so in full force...

    Dreaming of elevators, plaster granades and rolls of duct tape...

    1. Il Midga di Macaroni

      ... for a long holiday

      We know the BOFH has built up immunity to voltage over his blood-stained career, so obviously this won't hurt him enough to be more than an inconvenience. But a liberal interpretation of the symptoms by a tame doctor will ensure the BOFH gets a good long break over Christmas/New Year with no emergency call-outs. On full pay, of course.

  28. Thomas Saulnier

    Well done

    Happy BOFHmas Simon! I'll have one at the pub for you

  29. Anonymous Coward

    @Thomas Saulnier - Well Done

    I'll second that. Calls for another round...

  30. Steve Roper

    Ominous sign...

    Looks to me like the BOFH just got KZZZZZERTed... Since BOFH is Simon's avatar in this hilarious other-world, and considering the slow output of BOFH this year as compared to previous years - one connects the dots...

    Does this mean the END of the BOFH and your retirement at last, Simon?


  31. Jeroen Braamhaar
    Thumb Up

    I foresee ..

    ... a terrible (temporary) tragedy "befalling" the PFY as the BOFH reasserts his dominance ...

  32. DI_Wyman


    Have a Very Merry BOFH Christmas!

  33. Gerrit Tijhof

    Happy festivities everyone!1

    Brother this BEGS for some fresh pints of lager!

  34. Chika

    Nice one!

    Mind you, sounds like the story of the night before could be interesting!

  35. Anonymous Coward

    A good year for the BOFH

    It's too bad this year was brief with only one article a month, but it was definitely a good year for the BOFH. May he continue his reign and push the limits (and bosses) further in the years ahead

  36. Lykofos

    A bit late on my part...

    Due to the holidays and computer issues however well done. At least I was not drinking anything at the time I read this one otherwise I would need the keyboard icon.

  37. Jan Buys

    This is going to be good...

    I do expect a January episode of this series that will make the PFY wish it was still 2009.

    Great episode and thank you for all the laughter, Simon.

  38. Anonymous Coward


    If he died, then it wouldn't be the BOFH telling the story, would it? Just a thought.

    Simon's tried to kill off BOFH before. Just like Holmes, he was resurrected...

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