back to article Intel staff 'fired' in ring piece stunt

In a bid to distract hacks from Intel's upcoming battle with the Federal Trade Commission, the chip giant's spin team have come up with a "funny" video of five Finnish employees firing themselves from cannons in a bid to play the Intel five-note jingle. Said staff were shot at a giant set if chimes, the impact of crania on …

COMMENTS

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  1. Kay Tie

    Something of the CGI about that

    I'm not sure which is more suspicious: the not-quite-real trajectories or the mumbo jumbo countdown words.

    1. Paul Slater

      Mumbo jumbo numbers

      Finnish is one of only two European languages that is not descended from the ancient Proto Indo-European tongue which ultimately produced Sanskrit, Greek, Latin, German, Celtic and English, amongst others. So it's hardly surprising that the numbers sound odd.

      1 to 10 in Finnish: yksi kaksi kolme neljä viisi kuusi seitsemän kahdeksan yhdeksän kymmenen

      1. Kay Tie

        Yes, I know about the Finno-Ugric language branch..

        .. being non-Indo-European etc. I was ribbing the Finns. But since all the replies come from people that have vowels in their names, it doesn't seem as if the Finns rose to the bait.

    2. Steve Brammer
      Happy

      It's Finnish not mumbo jumbo

      How rude of you to call the Finnish language "mumbo jumbo".

    3. Steve Brammer

      5, 4, 3, 2, 1

      5 - Viisi

      4 - Neljä

      3 - Kolme

      2 - Kaksi

      1 - Yksi

    4. 100113.1537
      Thumb Up

      Not mumbo-jumbo - just Finnish

      Sorry Kay - that isn't mumbo-jumbo - it is FinnishI

      And I don't care if it is faked CGI - it is still hilarious!

    5. DavCrav

      Finnish perhaps?

      "I'm not sure which is more suspicious: the not-quite-real trajectories or the mumbo jumbo countdown words."

      I'm not an expert, but Finnish?

    6. Steen Hive
      Pint

      Mumbo-jumbo?

      "I'm not sure which is more suspicious: the not-quite-real trajectories or the mumbo jumbo countdown words."

      5,4,3,2,1 in Finnish? Hardly "mumbo-jumbo".

      Very useful for ordering beer in Ivalo and other godforsaken places where the English level isn't so hot..

    7. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Mumbo Jumbo Countdown words?

      er, I think you'll find that they were just counting down in Finnish...

    8. Anonymous Coward
      Grenade

      What "mumbo jumbo"?

      That was perfectly-enunciated Finnish, you ignoramus. Neljä, kolme, kaksi, yksi, nolla. WTF is your problem?

      ( google search; "Counting in finnish", first hit:

      http://www.marijn.org/everything-is-4/counting-0-to-100/finnish )

  2. paul derry

    yeah, right

    Is is April fool's day already?

    1. Steve Brammer

      April fools day

      It could have been April fools day the weather looks about right. It certainly wasn't recently since there is almost certainly snow on the ground in Finland right now.

  3. seanj
    Go

    I know I might be considered sad, but...

    that made me laugh out loud... I heartily support this action, and believe other companies should fire employees from cannons to reproduce their own corporate jingles...

    Hoping my company never comes up with a jingle....

  4. thefutureboy
    Dead Vulture

    Is it me or is it you?

    Are you the biggest fools for thinking it's real or am I the biggest fool for thinking you think it's real? Vote now!

    1. Andus McCoatover

      Er..

      "Are you the biggest fools for thinking it's real or am I the biggest fool for thinking you think it's real? Vote now!"

      Er, which button should I press? Green, Red, or Report? I go for the latter.

  5. Hywel Thomas
    Thumb Up

    Ring Piece

    LINSIHNLTMSGDOAMCHLTITM!

  6. LinkOfHyrule
    Joke

    Misleading Headline

    Thanks for getting me all excited and then letting me down. In those few short seconds between clicking the link and the article page being rendered what was flashing through my mind was indeed very different to what the article actually tells.

    Though I can't complain, It is after-all why I read El Reg - Tech news with an additional smut add-on (Or should I say strap on!)

  7. The Indomitable Gall

    CGI kills the magic

    If someone actually wanted to do that for real, it wouldn't seem as impressive because we're now so used to the computer generated versions of this sort of nonsense.

  8. Steven Jones

    pointless fake...

    If they are going to fake something, they might at least pay some respect to the laws of perspective so the flying bodies actually reduce in apparent size as they go through the air.

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Go

    Real?

    Cynics. Of course its real. I have ordered a new five core Xeon on the strength of the advertisement.

  10. fidodogbreath Silver badge
    Happy

    I am inspired now.

    I'm running to the store post haste to buy something with Intel Inside!

  11. Juan Inamillion
    Thumb Down

    turgid

    What made them think that they could make the world's most irritating jingle less so by making this turgid dog poo

  12. Phil Rigby
    Joke

    El Reg style

    Playmobil version?

  13. Rob Brady
    Thumb Up

    It would be easier to do for real than fake this well.

    There's more on Intel's site, looking at the behind the scenes clips and the rest of the content (Including a longer version of the launch)

    After I'd finished laughing hysterically for a good 5 minutes and watching it a bunch of times I'd say it's real.

    If not it's a fake with a level of skill that would be greater than firing 5 guys out of cannons.

    http://www.intel.com/en_UK/CannonBells/index.htm

    As for what it does to my opnionion of Intel:-

    a) R&D is about risk taking.

    b) Sometimes doing what others would think gets impressive results

    c) Because of a+b Intel is wise to have and R&D team in Finland, but keep them away from explosives please.

    d) I suppose after the precision needed to make processors for them this is child's play.

    e) It's still a brown trousers event, and the level of confidence in what they have designed is impressive.

    e) How the BLEEP did they get this project funded by Intel?

    f) Whatever Intel paid to fund this non-core-business project was totally worth it.

    g) Intel should not push their luck firing anymore employees, but these ones involved in this need a promotion. :-)

    g) ARRRGH DA BELLS!

  14. Graham Marsden
    Boffin

    Fake!

    Type your comment here — plain text only, no HTML

  15. Sly
    Grenade

    I just want to see more...

    intel folks take it on the head *whack*

  16. Chads

    Plausible but..

    Ok so it's doable, but given what a cynical bunch we are on the interwebs, wouldn't you have it covered by more than one amateur cameraman if you did it for real?

  17. Andus McCoatover
    Pint

    MAGIC!!!!

    Only the Finns would have ago at that. Beautiful! Beer icon, naturally!

    Of course, there's the World phone-throwing championships (http://www.savonlinnafestivals.com/en_index.htm)

    World air-guitar championships

    Yet more, Wife-carrying (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wife_carrying)

    Finally, surströmming eating. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iebNdCSqWmc). NSFA*

    Actually, the last is something I almost bought in my supermarket at $10 today. Problem is, it smells like a cadaver, and the natural human reaction on smelling a cadaver is an intense fear-and-flight reflex. But for $10....cheaper terror than a roller-coaster...

    What? You think Finland is boring??? ;-)

    *Not Safe For Anywhere.

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Unhappy

    It's a fake. Sadly.

    Remember the long-range skijump tube vid? Same idea. It's a vidoe effect. Nice, well done, but a vidplay none the less. Pity, I thought Intel had a good idea going there... next up, shoot some politicians through paper targets mounted in front of a solid concrete wall, perhaps? *evil grin*

  19. Andus McCoatover
    Joke

    Not Nokia's tune.

    They'd need 12 folks. Are there that many left?

  20. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    bored, bored, bored.

    http://www.reghardware.co.uk/Design/graphics/icons/comment/fail_32.png

    A very boring piece of film. On an ever so slightly more interesting note, the plural of cannon is cannon.

  21. Anonymous Coward
    Jobs Horns

    Wondering

    If there are any rules as to how many notes there can be in a corporate jingle and if we can persuade Steve Jobs....

  22. This post has been deleted by its author

  23. Marc Lawrence
    Stop

    Arrrgh.... Notes

    Well if not fake; the 'arrrrgghhh (of impending doom)' before the notes chime is much more realistic for an Intel product...

  24. Dave Mundt
    Megaphone

    How about the Outpost.com hamster cannon?

    Greetings and Salutations....

    and if anyone has a link to the outpost.com commercial that involved firing hamsters from a cannon at the hole in the "O", I would LOVE to have it again. That was a great piece of politically incorrect film that is worth watching.

    regards

    dave mundt

  25. Matthew Barker
    Coat

    Intel

    Obviously those working for Intel are so cerebral that they only care for completely mental pursuits.

  26. mafoo
    WTF?

    GEIF NON CGI

    I cried when i saw the badly lit and rendered metal cylinders.

    You owe me 5 engineers being fired at metal tubes. :'(

  27. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    Clearly a fake.

    Where would they have got so many cheerful, sober Finns?

    I'll get my warm coat.

  28. Herby

    Those notes...

    Why is it that EVERY time I hear the intel notes (sung, or played on a synth), I want to repeat the phrase:

    Bong...A Piece of S***

    It just fits (and quite well I might add). Unfortunately, I can't seem to get Microsoft into the notes (Oh, well...)

  29. Andy Enderby 1

    Viral Ad posted as news ?

    By El Reg ?

    With their reputation ?

    surely not....

  30. The First Dave

    Fake

    What gives it away for me is the lack of safety equipment - the crash mats are barely big enough to catch the falling bodies if they aim perfectly - if any of them had flown wide they would have been toast.

  31. Field Marshal Von Krakenfart
    Paris Hilton

    Not a meaningful title

    Where they AMD engineers?

    I like their countdown,

    5 - Viisi

    4 - Neljä

    3 - Kolme

    2 - Kaksi

    1 - YIKE-ski

    Paris, who is impressed with people who can count backwards from 5

    1. Andus McCoatover

      Finally..

      0 = NOOOOOO-lla . (Nolla)

  32. Andus McCoatover
    Thumb Up

    'Course it's a fake - but a bloody good one.

    If you watch it a few times, see the small landing platform they have, no net behind in case one of the flyers misses the target, no padding on the cranes holding the 'bells', the unnatural flailing arm movements - mannequins, maybe? -, with no protection in front should a cannon miss the targets or malfunction, and the unnatural - theatrical - Finnglish accent of the presenter (No educated Finn talks like that. I know, I live there. Even the local drunks can pronounce better.

    He sounds like he's doing a parody of the 'Swedish Chef' from the muppets. Brilliant).

    Intel, Finland allowing the shooting of experienced and valued engineers from cannons? Gi's a break! We DO have Elf and Safety here too.

    But, Kudos!! Nice video! Beautifully done! 10 points.

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