I read that as...
“"...lifting-the-skirts type Xmas songs."
The PRS for Music has chillingly announced that Slade's Merry Xmas Everybody could have been heard by 42 per cent of the world's population - a cool three billion souls whose lives have been enriched by Noddy Holder and chums' ubiquitous Yuletide anthem. The song has apparently already been enjoyed in 47 countries around the …
...hmm. Could be the context. I'll bet you wouldn't have mis-read that quote if it had been anybody else but Noddy... especially considering that, given the reputation of British Christmas parties (damn, I'm jealous), there may well have been some serious skirt-lifting while that tune was playing.
Having worked retail in my youth i would like to send out my heartfelt condolences to all those stuck in an office/store/sub basement whose managers feel that it is acceptable to listen to christmas carols on repeat for the entire month of December (and if your really unlucky half of November and January too!)
I can remember one year as a young fella working at a local department store in Australia and being subjected to Mariah Carey's Christmas Carols on repeat for a 6 week period. I was only a casual (read weekends and nights) but i still came so close to cracking...
... to this day im still in therapy.
...though I suppose it's just a story demanding to be written in that oh-so-loveable smartassed El Reg style. Still, I wouldn't have you any other way.
I'm an old Slade fan from back in my high-school days -- yeah, a Deadhead who digs Slade, go figure -- and I have to admit with embarassment that I only heard "Merry Christmas, Everybody" for the first time early this year; of course, Slade never got really huge here in the States (a lot of critics pissed and moaned about them being "too British"), so "Merry Christmas, Everybody" never made it over here. I'm totally down with Sam Tana on this one, though; what a sweet tune -- sweet, but not cloying; a great party tune, but not brazen about it (like "Mama Weer All Crazee Now").
Granted, I've heard very little of modern British Christmas music, but if "Merry Christmas, Everybody" is any indication, it's certainly a cut above the crap we're saddled with over here ever year. The only other one I recall right off is Jethro Tull's Christmas single from the mid '70s -- I forget the title -- which I also loved; a bit of classic Ian Anderson snark.
(pint of beer icon, because El Reg has no Noddy's Top Hat Icon)
...it was another one I was trying to remember -- it was one where Anderson takes a mean shot at materialistic, drunken people at Christmas parties.
But, yeah, "Ring Out" is a really fine one -- especially if, like myself, you're not really a Christian and prefer to celebrate the Solstice instead. Something about a two-weeks-long party complete with dancing virgin maidens and homebrew that really does me good. Those Druids really knew how to do it up, huh?
Tull have several that might fit the bill, but it's probably A Christmas Song
("When you're stuffing yourselves at the Christmas parties,
You just laugh when I tell you to take a running jump;
you're missing the point I'm sure does not need making,
that Christmas spirit is not what you drink.)
or maybe Another Christmas Song
("How many wars you fighting out there, this winter's morning?
Maybe it's always time for another Christmas song.")
Hey, Santa! Pass us that bottle, will ya?
Oh, man; that's freakin' _rich_... especially considering that, iirc, they'd had one comeback around 1980ish, and finally hung it up around '91.
Ironic, though, as sadly, Hill and Powell were at last report still touring as "Slade" with a forgettable bass player and some other guitarist who's trying to fill Noddy's boots by simply playing really loud and howling like a maniac. Sorry, dude, there's more to it than that. I caught some footage of Dave, Don, and Two Other Guys on YouTube recently, and what a goddamn' loud, sloppy FAIL. I mean, jeez, it's not like Hill and Powell really need the money anymore, is it? I mean, c'mon, you guys; it was a blast, a helluva party for about twenty years, but it's finished. Why can't you just kick back and enjoy getting honorary doctorates and growing old gracefully, like Noddy'n'Jim?
It's still a classic - upbeat, cheery, celebratory, a bit of a laugh, all the things that Christmas is meant to be. It says a lot about music that even after 35+ years it's still going strong just about everywhere in the world. Me, I love it, and Merry Christmas to Noddy and they boys
As another paid-up member of the old farts club, I can assure you that in 1973 we needed all the halp we could get to cheer ourselves up, and this song went some way towards doing that. Another activity that helped was the entire team disappearing down the pub for several hours one day close to Christmas Eve. I can't recall exactly what day it was, althought I do recall that the boss was furious, but couldn't fire everyone.
'As another paid-up member of the old farts club, I can assure you that in 1973 we needed all the halp we could get to cheer ourselves up, and this song went some way towards doing that'
So what you're basically saying is that Noddy's song is perfect for today's Brownian economy.
"You scumbag, you maggot, you cheap lousy faggot
Happy Chrismas your arse, I just pray it's our last."
Kirsty MacColl had a great way with lyrics(*), and is sadly missed. Come to think of it, it was 9 years ago this week that she was killed :( I'll raise a glass to her.
*(Always liked the line from another one of her songs "I put you on a pedestal, you put me on the pill". Now /that's/ social commentary).
A great way with the delivery I'll agree and the same words wouldn't have the effect sung by anyone else, but she didn't write them. New England was a Billy Bragg song, and of course he sang it from the male perspective. You are right about the social commentary though, what else do you expect from Billy Bragg.
Mind you as a youngster, when I first heard it, the Kirsty version, I was just amused that they got away with having "bloody" in it, how times change.
Of course you're not allowed to hear those lyrics from Fairytale any more, muted out on the music channels so they are, taking the Beebs lead and impeccable timing, http://www.theregister.co.uk/2007/12/18/faiytale_censorship/, but not backing down like the Beeb did.
How about a mass request to the music channels to play it, in full, on Friday.
Raising a glass to Kirsty's memory.
Compared to most of the crap that's put out as Christmas records, Slade stand out as one of the better ones. If I hear certain Christmas tunes on the radio (including any of Sir Cliff's offerings) then I turn off or tune to something else. This one does at least have a decent tune and captures the fun part of the season.
The old ones are the best.... (Well, they're old for me anyway)
Merry Christmas Everybody - Slade;
Lonely this Christmas - Mud;
I wish it could be Christmas Everyday - Wizzard;
Stop the Cavalry - Jona Lewie;
Mistletoe and Wine - Cliff Richard;
Last Christmas - Wham;
Let them Know it's Christmas - Band Aid (Original)
All of these, and a few more, piss over any recent Chrismas "hit"... Especially X-Craptor. And these will still be played for years to come.
BTW.... I find it really funny when die hard X Factor fans can't even remember who won X Factor before Alexandria Burke.... In a year, they'll even forget about her too!
This song has 2 effects on me. (1) it makes me want to rip the person responsible for this music selection limb from limb, and (2) it without fail conjures up a huge elephant in the room, namely the billions of people who plainly _won't_ be having fun at Christmas, for whatever reason. So this piece of crassness doesn't bring any cheer whatsoever, it's just brainless and annoying. As it was probably meant to be. (On a par in annoyingness with Live and Let Die with the fabulous line "this world in which we live in". Why aren't people throwing rotten vegetables at P.McC. when he sings this crapulence??)
I have wondered for years why we all appear to be stuck in an audio time-loop come christmas time.
Why do we always go back slade every year, sure, i know pretty much every christmas song has been naff but it's not as if that slade riff is any better, it makes me clench my teeth every year when it play's in all the shops.
I have even been known to walk into a shop, then walk straight out again to avoid that song.
Luckily where I work we don't play music in the office, and if people want to listen to music they do it on earphones. So I've never heard this song (and I didn't click on the video in the article either!). And since I always wear earphones when I'm shopping to block out the store music I'm not likely to!
Miserable bunch of feckers aren't you all? It might not be high art but it's damn good for it's purpose, if it wasn't then it wouldn't still be being played would it now..
FFS, I'd rather have Slade played ad-nauseum than whatever shit has escaped from Simon Bowel or any of the other vapid fuckers he does business with.
In fact, can we have them slayed?
Paris.. All I want for Christmas
Slade: the background music to your shopping experience for 3 months of 30 years.
Make it stop.
Somebody please make it stop. How about the other 4 billion who've never heard it have a quick whip-round to pay for it never to receive any more air time, ever? I feel a new festive charity appeal gaining momentum already.
"Do you have unwanted gold in your house?" Oops. Wrong appeal. "Have you never heard Slade at Christmas? Or in the three months leading up to it? Consider yourself lucky. For just £2 a month you can ensure that 3 billion people never have to endure this aural blight again. Please, give a moment of your time and £2 a month to make Christmas for 3 billion people less cheesy and predictable."
Sit back, and watch the CASH roll in!
This dreadful bilge is on a par with I wish it could be Christmas every day by Roy Wood and Wizzard and of course Boney M
The only Christmas track I can just about stand is Farytale of New York by The Pogues but in another couple of years that'll be on the list too.
When I hear this in a shop I cant help wishing for a shotgun to take out every speaker I can find.
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