back to article 'Doctor Dark Energy': The Ultimate LHC eccentric?

There are many interesting questions to be asked regarding the Large Hadron Collider, most powerful matter-rending machine ever assembled by the human race. Will it discover the elusive Higgs Boson? Will it open up an interdimensional portal into some mysterious continuum beyond our own? Will it, perhaps, destroy the world and/ …


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  1. pc

    New on iTunes..

    The new album from Rolf Heuer and his BigBangers..

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    Dictionary of Boffin words

    I've now added collaptical to my official list of boffin words.

    Thank you El Reg.

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Title required goddamit

    So his soultion to stopping a cataclysmic manmade event which will surely end the world as we know it, is to destroy half the western world instead. Way to compromise

    I would like to say kudos for the name Doctor Dark Energy though, thats probably the only thing he's thought out.

    1. Lawrence 7

      Doctor Dark Energy!

      Sounds like a Side kick of Butter's in South Park when he is Captain Chaos!

      Captain Chaos and Doctor Dark Energy...... to the Rescue via Death and destruction sponsored by Osama bin Laden,

  4. ian 22
    Black Helicopters

    "the LHC will not destroy the Earth"

    They would say that wouldn't they. Thank you for the warning, Dr. Darko.

  5. 3kids2cats1dog

    New Writer for The Register

    I think you guys should give Chris Stephens a desk in at Reg Central and a Beer stipend.

  6. Daniel Evans

    He's not the first on LHC Portal either...

    It's just that he's just not pissed us off enough yet ;-)

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    Oh, behave

    Perfect late firday article, Lewis. You silly, silly man.

  8. DI_Wyman
    Paris Hilton

    Can we...

    ...hold off firing up the LHC 'till Monday as I am on a 'promise' with the missus this weekend!

    Why Paris, just in case the wife has a headache.

    1. fredds


      New research shows that sex is good for headache relief.

      Apparently the endorphins released during the act get rid of the headache.

      win/win situation:)


    2. Rob

      Serious stuff

      At this point in time I'm not to bothered about he planet disappearing or the dimensional portal, what I want to know is, it's Monday, did DI_Wyman get his promise?

      Ok, on a more serious note, to all you nutjobs out there, what will you do when the planet doesn't blow up and no portals appear?

  9. Robert Sneddon

    Not Doktor Strangelove?

    Today it takes billyons and billyons (tm C. Sagan) of dollars to get protons up to TeV levels, tomorrow it's a bunch of hobbyist/hacker types with some surplus bits'n'bobs doing their thing in a hotel ballroom over a quiet weekend. Me, I'm welcoming our vampire bat overlords from beyond spacetime.

  10. Charlie van Becelaere

    "Doctor" Ivan Gorelick is not qualified

    for any award you may be intending for him!

    He is claiming to have invented the GraviThermal coils which I demonstrated to him years ago in Minsk! Frankly, he is nothing more than a thief and grandstander wishing to gain access to plutonium for his own nefarious schemes of world destruction and domination.

    Also, please be advised that very few of us actually use tinfoil, as the government (secretly working with the boffino-fascists at DARPA) have secretly substituted aluminium for the tin. As most of those in the "dissenting" community know, while tin is quite effective in preventing unauthorised access to thoughts and emotions (and testicles!), aluminium is not only not up to the task, it also has the ability of being tracked through the use of certain of its isotopes so that the Home Office would actually know where each of the ersatz tinfoil hats is located at any particular moment. For this - and a myriad other reasons - the congnoscenti have in the past several months switched over to galvanised buckets as the headgear of choice when dealing with sensitive topics. Granted, they are somewhat less fashionable, but in some cases a deliberate choice must be made between form and function, and this is clearly one of them.

    Finally, it seems clear that the so-called (soi-disante?) Higgs Boson bears an unmistakable similarity to the name of J. Arthur Higginbotham who has consistently warned of the rank and ulterior motives of the anti-science Russian boffinry - to which group Ivan Gorelik most assuredly belongs.

    I apologise if all of this true information causes you any difficulty with the Ministry of Censorship and Truth Suppression, but the truth will out, as they say!

    1. Lawrence 7
      Thumb Up




  11. Anonymous Coward

    It's the anti-Scotty!

    Sounds like he's describing an inverse warp-core ejection. If I was a warp core, I'd do that , eject the ship & crew from myself and claim self-defence. They're always causing trouble for us cores.

  12. Captain DaFt

    You do realize that...

    It's wannabe mad scientists like him that give the rest of us a bad name!

    Now, if he'd announced that he was going to use his graviticthermal coils to disrupt the LHC the next time it was fired and destroy life and the Universe as we know it unless the UN agreed to give him a lifetime supply of cheese sandwiches, THEN I'd take him seriously!*

    * OK, I lied, I never take anything seriously.

  13. Anonymous Coward

    Doctor Who ?

    See the Title

  14. Ian McNee

    May I be the first to welcome...

    ...our new Magnetic Devil Particle Overlords

  15. John G Imrie

    Calling Dr Freeman

    We would just add, for anyone of a nervous disposition reading this, that the LHC will not destroy the Earth.

    I don't care what thy say, I'm keeping my crowbar close this weekend.

    PS can we have a crowbar icon for 'I for one *don't* welcome ...'

  16. Sir Sham Cad


    I love this description from Doctor Dark Dude's website:

    "[Rolf Heuer] is deadly dangerous for all humanity. He can kill you today with great probability."

    Minon: Sir, Sir, Doctor Dark Energy has discovered your secret plot to destroy humanity and has posted it to his website!

    RH (pulling out his scientific calculator): Curses! Now I shall have to dispose of him... with STATISTICAL MATHEMATICS! Muahahahahahaha!

  17. Andy Enderby 1

    I would have liked to read more.....

    from Dr Dark Energy, but again your oversized Shell Ad slapped itself over the content.

  18. Anonymous Coward

    Never mind a bomb...

    Just wait for one of Osram Bin Lightbulb's finest to expire just they are about to press the big red button on the wall...

  19. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
    Gates Horns

    It's a sad miss then that the Higgs hasn't been named the "Christ Particle"...

    ...but of course the Higgs being its own antiparticle, this idea falls flat.

    I also see that Mr. Gorelik, is a hollow-earth proponent. I would probably pay for a movie in case he had scripted a good part of it and added some String Scientists of Renown. Should be more entertaining than Dan Brown stuff.

  20. Jad

    I just had to comment

    "Read more: * Physics * Osama Bin Laden ..."

    Just for that tag line :)

  21. blackworx
    Thumb Up


    Looking forward to using that one

  22. Shadowslayer19

    He got it wrong...

    The Devil particle will summon more Devil particles to create a full-fledged demon! Then that demon will summon the Devil, who will promptly take over the earth. God can't save us because we destroyed his particle.

    Which is going to happen on 12.12.12, duh.

    1. Anonymous Coward

      Devil <> Demon

      Devils are not akin to Demons. Devils are innate creatures that invaded and dominated the spiritual plane we know as "Hell". Demons are physical manifestations from the spiritual realm(s) of human(?) emotions concentrated to such a gelled goop to become self-aware, and then aquire forms based on those emotion(s).

      Case in point, Demons may be conjured (coalesce or concentrate emotions into a "being"), while devils must be summoned (create portal for transportation). While a devil feels/displays wrath, a demon *is* wrath.

      Just as living next door to Chuck Norris does not make you a martial artist.

      What are schools teaching our children these days?!

  23. Anonymous Coward

    Dr. Dark Energy? Sounds more like Mr. Fusion

    "he says he invented a compact nuclear fusion reactor just 1m across"

    Mine's the one with the flux capacitor in the pocket...

  24. J 3

    Title, schmitle

    It's obvious he can't be that smart to begin with; he believes in gods and devils... And that they even have particles, mind.

  25. Francis Boyle

    Doctor Dark Energy

    Nice try but with a name like that he's casting himself as the villain of the piece. I'll be backing Captain Hadron FTW.

  26. ThomasF
    Big Brother

    BigBangers - Cute Heurs and Rumsfeld Unknowns

    It is heartening to be told that the LHC will not as promised by Luis Sancho turn us all into

    a Soupy grey Mixture but "There is some chance, according to reputable sources, that it will open up a dimensional portal"


    A top boffin at the Large Hadron Collider (LHC) says that the titanic machine may possibly create or discover previously unimagined scientific phenomena called Rumsfeld Uknowns or "unknown unknowns" - for instance "an extra dimension".#

    So the X-Portal Jury is still out on this - Its a case of -

    its not over until the Fat Proton Sings

  27. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    Perfect Friday reading

    and now I shall away to bust some panspermia

  28. Ian Michael Gumby

    God vs Devil Particles...

    Unfortunately this doesn't quite fly....

    Sure the physics predicts that these particles exist in pairs.

    But our concept of God is one of a monotheistic nature. There is by definition no anti-god.

    So I must flame the reg and the HTC boffins for their mistake. One of the following *must* be true:

    A) Those among us who believe in monotheism have got it all wrong.

    B) The nomenclature of a 'god particle' doesn't fit.

    C) There really is one god, however he's really a she and suffers from bi-polar issues.

    D) The idea that we must have a particle and an anti-particle is wrong.

    Either way, we're fscked so we might as well enjoy what little time we have left on this god forsaken earth and enjoy the friggin weekend.

    Mine's the coat with the tin foil shielding and an internal pocket for my towel.

    1. Anonymous Coward

      No, there's a perfectly simple explanation.

      God, in order to be really truly omniscient, omnipowerful, and all those other omni-things He is said to be, must contain within Himself His own opposite.

      Therefore he is his own anti-particle, and so must be some kind of massless boson or uncharged hadron, like a photon or pion... or indeed a Higgs particle!

  29. Stuart 14

    Hmmm Cheese Gromit

    But we al know the moon is made of cheese!

  30. William Hinshaw

    Hows this for a crazy idea I have

    Consider this theory. That there is no matter, it is all energy. Matter as we perceive it on at the smallest point is really energy in going in a loop or sphere shape or force cage for the lack of a better term. What makes this possible hasn’t been discovered yet except that it is possible to break this loop or cage causing a release of an immense amount of energy. For example in a fission reaction when high energy neutrons collide with a large fragile atom like plutonium there split results in the loss of mass. That mass that is loss is from a subatomic particle that has had its energy loop or force cage broken allowing it to unravel so to speak. The idea reduces all of the cosmos down to energy being present or not present. The question that should be asked is if matter is in fact energy structured around a loop or a force cage is it possible for all matter loops and cages to be broken down and released in a cataclysmic explosion. Then what if it is that the smaller the loop or cage is the more powerful the forces unleashed? If so, is it possible that the energy released would be powerful enough that when striking another small loop or cage cause a cascade effect that could see the complete break down of all matter into energy in an uncontrolled reaction destroying the universe as we know it and leaving behind only one large wave of energy?

    1. Ian Walker

      crasy idea...

      "... leaving behind only one large wave of energy?"

      and God said

      "Let there be light!"

      goggles because, well even at the end of the world health and safety rules need to be followed

    2. Anonymous Coward

      Reality (matter) as a wave AND a particle

      Disclaimer: This being expressed on an electrical basis for the purposes of clarity. This is an oversimplification for the purposes of illustrating the point. No flames, please.

      The "loop" or "cage" is the field generated by the frequency of the energy contained therein. Each is almost the ultimately sought-for machine, the OU (over unity) engine - the energy itself powers its own containment, preventing it from expanding in a wave, but the field itself generates energy from the circuit loop within it - a kind of virtual inductive sphere that propogates the energy wave itself. However, energy generated by the field never exceeds the energy lost by induction, thereby maintaining sum 0 state(s).

      There is residual excess from induction from nearby particles, stray photons, inner dimensional interactions, etc. that can cause the energy within the field to momentarily exceed field's capacity, but the residual excess bleeds off and is expressed as ionic charges or weak nuclear forces. Some arrangements or frequencies do not bleed off enough residual energy, building up until they ultimately "decay" into states that are more stable.

      However, application of differing/opposing frequencies (nuclear particle/waves, laser photon/waves, etc) can inject additional or canceling energy frequencies to destabilize the field, thereby releasing the entire amount of energy therein, ie - fission and fusion.

      Chemical processes, by comparison, merely deal with the attractive/repulsive properties of the higher level particle/waves created ("bleed off") by these energy fields, ie - protons, electrons, etc.

      Let's hope we don't accidentally discover the correct frequency propogation to shut off anything important, eh? No solor lightswitch, please!

  31. Anonymous Coward

    >"qualified as a physics schoolteacher"

    So then, he even *admits* he knows nothing about physics?

  32. Anonymous Coward

    Oh, and another thing.

    >"agricultural mechanization specialist"

    That's a euphemism for a drooling yokel who's been thrown out of his part-time job as a human plough-ox because the farmer's gone and bought a tractor, is it?

  33. Anonymous Coward

    For similar reading go to:

    1. Anonymous Coward

      also ...

      ... google "gangster frankenstein computer god machine". That one's quite special :-)

  34. bart

    lexiconical portal

    I also did not let that sexy new tech term "collaptical" escape my highly polarized vocabularic field. New dimensions are already invading our space. This gives more creedence than ever to the notion that Sarah Palin has been sent back in time to oversee the end of days, as she herself, of course also, has the gift of tongue.

    You betcha.

    1. Chris Stephens

      He have him cornered at the portal forum

      I am enjoying cornering him at the forum. He may not be back I suppose. You too can have your say to him.. Also in that section of the forum there are almost no rules.

  35. Dave Gregory

    Damn it

    My rant earlier forgot to rope in these lunatics!

  36. Les Matthew
    Thumb Up

    re: You do realize that...

    "It's wannabe mad scientists like him that give the rest of us a bad name!"

    Says Captain DaFt.

  37. ChessGeek

    Hasn't anyone figured this out yet?

    When the God Particle is made manifest, all the other particles shall flock to worship It. It is this rush to devotion which will create the black hole that shall destroy the earth.

    1. Ian Michael Gumby


      A black hole isn't the absence of particles but the incredible density of particles that they cause a warp in the fabric of time/space.

      So if your theory holds true, then it would be the rush of all the particles in the known universe flocking towards it which causes the massive black hole with the Earth in the center.

      In order to save the earth, we need to find a really good tailor who can repair the rip in fabric of space time.

  38. Nick Ryan Silver badge

    Gotta love the crazies...

    Gotta love the crazies... after all, where would we find all these lovely new words that can sporadically find themselves in IT documentation. Hell, with enough of them we can create a few more meaningless T.L.A.s just to make things more "interesting".

    Of course, the funny thing about the LHC is that the energy of the collisions is *still* less than that resulting from of the particles that are continually bombarding the atmosphere. At last check, the Earth's atmosphere hadn't vaporised the Earth's core, created a trans-dimensional gateway to hell (or Slough) or even spontaneously collapted. Nature is so so boring sometimes...

    1. Herbys

      Uh... no.

      > the energy of the collisions is *still* less than that resulting from of the particles that are continually bombarding the atmosphere.

      If that's what makes you feel safe, I'm sorry to ruin your year but they are not. The collisions in the LHC are a few orders of magnitude higher than any happening on earth. They are only equivalent to those *possibly* happening on neutron stars and some other remote bodies we don't know *that* much about. For all that we know, tiny black holes could be really frequent in the universe.

      Additionally, if there were collisions on earth energetic enough to create a black hole, the speed at which the black hole would be going would make it go through earth without producing much damage, continuing its way into space. That wouldn't be the case with one created by the LHC, which would remain on earth. And you know what that would mean.

  39. luis sancho


    lt is obvious once it has been scientificaly determined thatthe risks CERN's expeiment will do a big bang with the earth are huge, as many type of quark condensates will do so and the LHC is basically a factory of quark condensates, therefore pubic policy should not allow suchpotential holocaust I believe though CERN is under European sovereignity and the order to close it should come from NATO or the European PResidency.To laugh at a matter of national security has been also the procedure followed by authorities that didnt taken into account the warnings on 11/9, of dedicated professionals. Mr. Walter Wagner is an experimentalist retired safety officer with no jail condemn. Instead of bashful personal attracks of dubious sources you should \denounce thecucckoo scientists that working at CERN have built the first machine able to extinguish life on earth.

  40. Michael Noonan

    So you think you are safe

    Naturally the mathematics the scientists adds up. So you think you are safe. Well you're not. In mathematics the solution to a problem is to add an unknown variable often called 'x'. The scientists can balance their equations but nothing guarantees the assumptions they make are accurate.

    Remember this reality has physical and holographic qualities and needs a multi-universe for gravity to leak into. Logically if physics was properly known then all the parts would unknowns like dark energy to explain thermal law breaking expansion. Galaxies would need invisible matter to stop them flying apart. Atoms wouldn't need an undetectable Higgs field to explain energy equivalence.

    As I said if one uses enough unknown variable the mathematically any old piece of rubbish will add up. There is no safety in mathematics. Why do you think scientists are so unwilling to have their precious theories questioned? Because in the cold cruel light of logic they are a load of shit.

    1. Rafael 1

      It's worse than that!

      Sometimes I see equations with an 'y', and in an ancient Russian book of Physics there was an equation with a 'z'. We're doomed! DOOMED I SAY!

  41. rpenner

    I've spent years talking to Wagner

    As moderator of a science discussion board and long-time participant, I have spent years talking to Wagner and some time talking to Gorelik. There are differences.

    Wagner wants the respect of being an authority, without the accomplishment.

    Wagner may have a B.S. in Biology, but that wouldn't make him a botanist -- publishing research articles would. Someone who doesn't publish and still messes around with plants is a gardener.

    Wagner may have gotten a certificate of a J.D. from an unaccredited law school, but he told the Federal judge in Hawaii who was scolding him for acting as Sancho's lawyer that he had never been admitted to the bar. So he is no lawyer and so far down the scale of people that have post-graduate training that actual lawyers see no reason to call him "Doctor."

    Wagner gets huffy and defensive when his CV is compared to his claimed titles -- because he feels his arguments need that high ground of authority or they would seem empty and weak (c.f. Wagner's appearance on _The Daily Show_ ).

    Gorelik, like the protagonist of _Soon I will be invincible_, simply assumes the authority and titles that he feels should be his. To Gorelik, the greatness of himself and his arguments is self-evident and you would be a fool to question any one of his claims. Since Gorelik finds himself surrounded by what he believes to be blind fools, he takes this as confirmation that he is moing in the right direction and writes even _more purple_ prose. So it's only natural, in Gorelik's self-styled role as apex predator, that bin Laden will fall under the sway of his natural greatness.

    Wagner would never hang out with bin Laden the terrorist and potential supplier of nuclear arms. Bin Laden the owner of a diploma mill might be a different story.

  42. Michael Noonan

    Freedom of choice

    So and I am only a cleaner with a self taught understanding of physics. That does not mean I do not know the shape of an equation or variations in the explanation of dimensions. Dear moderator how come in this real world the electricity we take for granted is based on the mathematics of imaginary numbers. Doesn't sound like a problem in dimension does it but it is.

    Go back to the March 2008 article in The Scientific American "The End of Cosmology". It states in time the evidence of the Big Bang will disappear. The 'known' age of the universe is 13.7 billion years, is it really. How can you be certain that there isn't something well beyond your vision and lost to human instrumentation already.

    What if the Large Hadron Collider is a bomb which will start with cryogenic helium in an uncontrolled nuclear detonation. Then Lake Geneva will vaporize releasing the hydrogen from the water and adding millions of tonnes of even more nuclear combustible fuel to the explosion. Is it a coincidence that in the quadrant of the planet in range of the particle experiment is the vast bulk of the world's population.

    What if Ivan is right and the Large Hadron Collider is a magnetic hole generator. Electricity and magnetism are forces that only came together fractions of a second after the Big Bang. The collider will have a continuous beam of concentrated energy unlike anything known in nature. So it might take a thousand seconds, about the time it takes to fall to the center of the earth or a thousand days which puts it into an interesting time frame.

    What if the scientists are right and we all simply suffocate in forty or fifty years because we cut down all the trees and poisoned the oceans, weakened the coral and killed the oxygen renewal cycle. The doomsayers are going to be right ... now prove me wrong.

    1. Will Shaw

      A spiritied attempt....

      ....but no Golden Tinfoil Hat for you today.

      It's like Les Dawson playing the piano badly. You have to either really, really talented or a genuine whacko. You can't fake this.

  43. Michael Noonan

    Bursting the beam pipe (already happened)

    Perhaps I should point out the explosion scenario was suggested by Wagner before the rupture of the cryogenic helium piping in 2008. That was before the site was targeted for shoe advertisements and pornography. Somehow the explosion scenario is already prophetic because last year when scientists lost control of the beam the first thing the beam did was to rupture the pipe and burn through the cryogenic helium containment.

    From stellar observations a helium nuclear explosion is way hotter than hydrogen. The evidence is in the stars because one day our star the sun will go nova meaning it will swell and probably swallow the earth in the firestorm.

    Wagner and Sancho did more than just consider monopoles, micro black holes and neutron mass forming strangelets. By reading the scenarios they offered for consideration at least one has potential given more energetic accidental starting conditions.

    In a way that might be the best of all the disaster potentials as opposed to the suffocation of the next generation. It beats the heck out of being ripped, popped or stuffed into some strange new dimension.

  44. Herbys


    Dismissing the possibility of a catastrophe is plain unscientific.

    There's very serious science backing the possibility that some of the doomsday scenarios might happen (the micro black-hole in particular). They have all been discarded because they have requirements (such as many-dimensions) that are invalid under the current standard model.

    But we don't know that the standard model is right. In fact, we know it is not, otherwise it would explain phenomena that we can't explain now. Actually, the whole LHC is dedicated to validating, refining or correcting the standard model. And under some of the possible models, those assumptions that would make the doomsday scenarios possible would actually occur.

    So the LHC supporters are discarding the risks of the LHC because under the model they are trying to confirm, it is harmless. That sort of circular thinking is not worrying for most situations, but when you are talking about the end of humanity, it is terrifying.

    The fact is that those pushing forward the LHC are those that stand to benefit most from it (scientists whose fields are stuck due to the lack of experimental validation) so they might accept a risk of one in fifty million (some of the supporter's numbers) of the planet collapsing, but if you apply those risks to the whole of humanity, they are unacceptable.

  45. Herbys

    Oh, and the worst part...

    The worst part is that since the probability of something terrible happening is low, most likely they will succeed and be able to claim that whoever complained was a nutjob.

    Just like a person playing russian roulette would call paranoid to everyone that said it was a bad idea to pull the trigger, and claim that since he's still alive, pulling the trigger was just fine.

  46. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Surely ...

    ... AmanFromMars can bring order to this chaos?

  47. Anonymous Coward

    As Dr. Farnsworth would say..

    "yes, it's the Apocalypse all right. I just knew I'd have a hand in it somehow"

  48. stopcern



    Dogma: a point of view or tenet put forth as authoritative without adequate grounds. Big Bang theory of cosmic creation is a quasi-religious dogma.

    Many standard modern textbooks present it as a fact, though it is really only an assumption! CERN physicists BELIEVE in modern Big Bang Dogma. That is why, logically speaking, CERN physicists with such an irrational dogmatic mindset that work at the Large Hadron Collider and absolutely support these very dangerous high energy experiments are not real scientists at all. They are only blind-followers of modern dogmatic books, they are similar to quasi-religious fanatics, worshipping a new dark deity, that is called Big Bang. Strictly speaking, dogma remains a dogma even if today it looks more plausible, than some ancient dogmas. The fundamental assumption of Big Bang is based on the collective observations and subjective experiences, that may be considered as an egregorial illusion or mistake of collective unconscious, (collective unconscious, is a term of analytical psychology, coined by Carl Jung - a Swiss psychiatrist, University of Basel).

  49. stopcern


    Physicists use the Large Hadron Collider to recreate the conditions just after the Big Bang, by colliding the two beams head-on at very high energy. So, they justify unpredictable high-energy experiments, and consequently endanger people living in Western Europe, only because they believe in Big Bang Dogma.


    Big Bang Dogma is not the only framework available for understanding the history of the universe. Plasma cosmology and the steady-state model - both hypothesize an evolving universe - These and other alternative approaches - can also explain the basic phenomena of the cosmos - They have even predicted new phenomena - that were subsequently observed - something the Big Bang Dogma has failed to do.

    - read works of Eric J. Lerner, Lawrenceville Plasma Physics (USA) at , about Plasma Cosmology,

    - read articles of Halton Arp, Max-Planck-Institute Fur Astrophysik (Germany), at , he claims, the assumption that high red shift objects have to be very far away - on which the Big Bang theory and all of "accepted cosmology" is based - has to be fundamentally reexamined.

    - read articles of Paul Marmet, Herzberg Institute of Astrophysics (Canada), at , about astronomical evidence that points to inconsistencies in the Big Bang theory.

    - read articles of Domingos S.L. Soares, Federal University of Minas Gerais (Brazil), at, rational arguments against Big Bang Dark Cosmology.

  50. stopcern

    Lack of funding for alternative theories!

    Fanatic supporters of the Big Bang Dogma from CERN may retort that alternative theories do not explain every cosmological observation. But that is scarcely surprising as their development has been severely hampered by a complete lack of funding. Indeed, such questions and alternatives cannot even now be freely discussed and examined. An open exchange of ideas is lacking in most mainstream conferences. In cosmology today doubt and dissent are not tolerated and many scientists learn to remain silent if they have something negative to say about the Big Bang Dogma. Those who doubt the Big Bang Dogma - fear that saying so will cost them their funding.

    Even observations are now interpreted through this biased filter, judged right or wrong depending on whether or not they support the Big Bang Dogma. So discordant data on red shifts, lithium and helium abundances, and galaxy distribution, among other topics, are ignored or ridiculed. This reflects a growing dogmatic mindset that is alien to the spirit of free scientific inquiry.

    Today, virtually all financial and experimental resources in cosmology are devoted to Big Bang studies. All the peer-review committees that control funding are dominated by supporters of the Big Bang Dogma. As a result, the dominance of the Big Bang Dogma within the field has become self-sustaining, irrespective of the scientific validity of the theory. Giving support only to projects within the Big Bang framework undermines a fundamental element of the scientific method -- the constant testing of theory against observation. Such a restriction makes unbiased discussion and research impossible.

    We urge those agencies that fund work in cosmology to set aside a significant fraction of their funding for investigations into alternative theories and observational contradictions of the Big Bang theory.

    Allocating funding to investigations into alternative theories, would allow the scientific process to determine our most accurate model of the history of the universe.

    If you are scientist, and if you want to sign this statement, please visit the site

  51. Rattus Rattus

    Ok, Herbys and Michael Noonan:

    Repeat after me -

    Collisions of much greater energy happen in the atmosphere every day.

    Collisions of much greater energy happen in the atmosphere every day.

    Collisions of much greater energy happen in the atmosphere every day.

    Collisions of much greater energy happen in the atmosphere every day.

    Got it yet? And the earth's still here, yes? So please, put down the tinfoil and stop being alarmist.

  52. JP Strauss

    Open up a dimensional rift?

    I just hope that whoever survives the resonance cascade will at least have a crowbar and an HEV-mach 1 suit handy, otherwise the inhabitants of Xen will enslave us all.

  53. David Sidebotham
    Jobs Horns

    Will it, perhaps, destroy the world...

    I should bloody hope so. It cost enough.

  54. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge

    The Name of the Game is always to CHurn Currency and Light Fantastic Particles for Heavyweight Power

    CERN is an interesting gravy train imagining what can be done with parallel pooled thoughts. I wonder what else will be invented to fund or what other teething problem malfunction will prolong and postpone the decision making.

    I imagine Copenhagen is full of such self serving waffle for the next fortnight too, albeit with different purse to fill to keep the lab rats busy.

  55. Secretgeek

    "...agricultural mechanization specialist..."

    He fixes tractors doesn't he?

    I am right here, aren't I?

    He's definitely a tractor tweaking nut bar.

    And a lot of the comments above appear to be from a similar level of scientific understanding.

  56. Christopher Blackmore

    Nothing to do with me...

    I just want to point out that this Doctor Dark energy is nothing to do with my website at so I get a gratuitous link plug...

  57. Tony Paulazzo

    We're domed!

    >What is better: to nuke the LHC and CERNs headquarters, or to let the CERN to explode the Earth<

    I'm going with explode the Earth - it'll look cool and piss off those illuminati types (you can't enslave a planetary population if the planet's not there).

    >There is some chance... that it will open up a dimensional portal... a disappointingly tiny and short-lived one.<

    Yes, but what if the universe it opens onto is one running a different time frame than us? it could conceivably be tearing their universe apart for years, and they'd have to enlarge it and send across shock troops to close it from our side, whilst ensuring we never do it again via genocide.

  58. Dr Patrick J R Harkin

    It'll open a portal, I tell you, a portal!

    But to where? Well, Google have announced their public DNS at and the LHC is on the interweb, so they're connected - it's Dungeon Dimensions time, I tell you!

  59. Dr Patrick J R Harkin

    So the earth's crust will be thrown into outer space?

    Just where is it now?

  60. Vladimir Plouzhnikov

    Is this a new fashion?

    That all nutcases seem to have to post twice in a row? Does that make their arguments better? Maybe I should try that one day...

  61. Bod


    "If the magnetic collapse starts, it will be impossible to stop it. It will end with ejection of the Earth’s shell into outer space."

    ... get on the phone to Hollywood. There's a film in that.

  62. Yorkshirepudding

    the sound of drums

    just keep an eye out for a blue telephone box nearby stockholm geneva or were all up the shitter

    im sorry im so sorry......


    mines the one with the laser screwdriver

  63. Anonymous Coward

    how many ?

    alternate accounts does the nutjobs above have ?

  64. Michael Noonan

    Gravity is not a particle

    Hello Rattus Rattus,

    Gravity has variation hence the Pioneer effect. Without hypothetical dark matter the rotation of the galaxy is also a gravitation anomaly. Satellites need relativity based corrections to account for time distortion due to being in a lesser gravitation than the clocks on earth and that is a variation in gravitation. Mordehai Milgrom a highly respected physicist founded MOND or Modified Newtonian Dynamics Theory to explain galaxy rotation a reference ""

    Professor Milgrom's proposal is that gravity is variable. If gravity is variable then it can't be a particle because a particle has exact defined properties and can not possibly be a variable. The Higgs boson is supposed to be the particle that explains undetected quantum gravity at the expense of the destruction of General Relativity.

    I have written on forums of a unifying solution to physics which excludes gravity from the three QED quantum dynamic forces those being electromagnetic, weak force and the strong nuclear force. The three QED forces all have properties somewhat like electricity, gravity does not.

    I wont bore you with what my proposal to the unified solution is sufficient to say that it is not accepted in any scientific journal not because it is wrong or possibly even right. None of what I say matters because as an avowed non scientist none of what I write matters.

    And it wont matter all that greatly after the great destruction either.

  65. Michael Noonan

    Particle collisions

    Single particle collisions up to 110 million times more powerful than CERN particles do occur naturally and can hit anywhere, typically in the atmosphere. What HAS changed is here on earth. Twin beams with energy intensity 100,000 times hotter than the core of the sun are being pushed around the 27km ring at CERN. So to answer the question from:-

    Rattus Rattus

    Ok, Herbys and Michael Noonan:

    Posted Monday 7th December 2009 10:04 GMT

    Repeat after me -

    Collisions of much greater energy happen in the atmosphere every day.

    -: and so on what you say is true.

    The earth gets hit by cosmic rays every day and that is why dark matter detection experiments are placed so far underground to try and filter most of them out.

    Mathematically a single particle collision by itself is not a danger. What is the new is the high energy intensity in the beam they will be made in. Second we are now at a new risk posed by nature. The hottest and most energy intense target for high energy cosmic rays is now right here on earth at CERN.

  66. Kevin Smith

    LHC has created a portal already!

    .. or at least, I seem to have woken up today in a parallel universe where dangerously under-educated cleaners and tractor mechanics are more knowledgeable regarding physics than actual physicists.

    Or perhaps they are just idiots with delusions of grandeur who don't realise when to stop spouting drivel?

    Nah, you're right, it's definitely evil LHC shenanigans.

  67. Robinson

    What's going on here?

    I'm reading some of the comments with incredulity; are they all taking the *iss?

  68. Emilio Desalvo

    Wagner is a real pro

    He even had a bill tailor made for him...

    1. rpenner

      Wagner's only courtroom victory?

      He did beat the charges of violating a court order in California. When he filed a (rejected) suit to claim damages for false prosecution, the court criticized the original prosecutor for undercharging. Specifically, the judge thought prosecution should have brought anti-stalking charges like the earlier bill you have pictured.

  69. Alex 32

    Good Afternoon Reading

    Absolutely fascinating to read all about the LHC and these comments.

    Someone owes me a new keyboard tho.. but I'm sure some of these accounts are duplicate..

    Hmm.. who to send the bill to...

  70. ShaggyDoggy

    Ah but ...

    "There is some chance... that it will open up a dimensional portal... a disappointingly tiny and short-lived one"

    But what if the forces on the other side grab hold of it and hold it open, then enlarge it so that vast armies of lizard (contd page 94)

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