back to article Sh*t the bed, it's Comment of the Week

It's Friday, and across the internet is heard the thin cry from a thousand (OK, maybe a couple of hundred) hapless souls forced against their will to read Comment of the Week. O cruel fate! If only they were given choice as to what to click on. Well, too late now, bozos. It'll look like you've read it in the stats even if you …

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  1. Major N

    1

    Oh, The Intergalactic Laxative will get you from here to Mars...

    1. frank ly

      @Major N re. 1

      That would be an interplanetary laxative actually. It is against Federation laws to use intergalactic laxatives within two light years of a planetary system.

  2. Daniel Wilkie

    Me

    I think I deserve some cowballs because I think you're as cute as a button?

    Pretty please? :p

  3. Dan 10
    Unhappy

    Problemette

    I would make a case for someone's particular comment, except that it appears that by allowing us plebs to reply to other comments, it is no longer possible (presumably to save screen space/repetition) to copy text from a comment? Admittedly, the crap ancient desktop build in this workplace means I'm still on IE6, but still....

  4. Jerome 0
    Boffin

    Wichita Lineboffin

    I am a boffin for the agency

    And I drive the oscilloscope

    Lookin' in the lab for another infeasible artificial intelligence related breakthrough

    With my skills in advanced robotics

    I could work for Cyberdyne

    But the Wichita Lineboffin

    Still evaluates the spline

    I know I've tried extensive weather control

    And it don't look like rain

    But if I can focus this microwave weaponry

    You won't ever stand the pain

    And I need a shark with a frickin laser beam attached to its head more than want it

    And I want it to be capable of hovering in mid-air for extended periods whilst still maintaining its stealth capabilities

    But the Wichita Lineboffin

    Still evaluates the spline

  5. Anonymous Coward
    WTF?

    Huh?

    Unless I've missed something, how is CoTFW Comment of The Week? Surely COTW or CoTW. AC in case I'm being very very silly.

    1. Count Ludwig
      WTF?

      "Like raaain on your wedding day"

      Yes, WTF does that F in CoTFW mean?

  6. Jim 59
    Thumb Up

    Tyrun - (Back) into the Valley

    We were amused by this late contender:

    "I also remember crying at my computer to myself after hours of typing a certain program and nothing happening.

    At least I don't do that at work [when] my code fails, I leave the room first."

    1. Carcass
      Happy

      Remember Compute Magazine?

      My first box was a Commodore 64. There was this magazine called Compute - they had a Commodore version that came with programming listings in not only BASIC but machine code - you could type in pages upon pages of hex codes on the gawdawful C64 keyboard. Only to have it often fail. The tears would be a combo of the failure of said application to run as well as pain lingering in my once-functional fingers.

      Danm, though, I miss those days... (except for "EasyScript", which was anything but)

  7. Arnold Lieberman

    There's something so very wrong

    about having a comments section regarding an article that is a comment on the comments sections of other articles...

  8. Fred 3

    <Title>

    So say we all....

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    CoTFW

    That 'F' doesn't appear to correspond to anything in the phrase "Comment of The Week". I think I see what you did there.

  10. Steve Evans

    @Daniel

    I don't think the "You're cute, do you come here often?" line is going to work on The Moderatrix.

    Try more grovelling, pleading and begging; scatter with profuse apologies, the words "Maam" and "Mistress", and you might just get away with some red marks across your behind.

  11. Mike VandeVelde
    Go

    On the cosmic highway to the moon

    We're on the cosmic highway to the moon

    The bays are loaded and the engine's well in tune

    Dad says at this rate

    We should get there half past June

    The earth is rather dreary

    Since we singed the sky

    On the cosmic highway to the moon

  12. zanto

    damn!

    that's why i love this site.

  13. Hardcastle
    Headmaster

    Cowballs?

    I've yet to find any cows with balls. Bulls, yes, but no cows.

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Hmm, I don't really think this item is working out

    although I'll happily dish out the bonus points for "shit the bed", not least because it will piss off that American dude with the ultra-virtuous daughters who, one presumes, are properly toilet-trained. Unlike their father.

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Go

    here's a start on witchita lineman

    I am a router for level 3

    And I ride the back bone

    Now I got peers down all my pipes I'll never stand alone

    I get pounded by bit torrents

    And botnets phishing with my lines

    I'm a level three router

    your packets are mine

    ... or something :)

  16. jake Silver badge

    It seems to me ...

    It seems to me that the comment of the week has been demoted to comment of the fortnight ... Or maybe I managed to miss last week's epistle (or clean forgot about it). Somehow I can't be arsed to go back and look.

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    Uh- - vanity or what?

    Mine own CoTW were the one about "aspirantly, aspiring aspirants" or something like that

    (Shhh ... reasoning :-) )

  18. nyelvmark

    Yawn

    If "Comment of the week" is "you have to work the first week in hand" - a joke that certainly long predates this organ, and possibly the entire history of the written word - then I have to wonder about the quality of the other comments last week.

    Perhaps The Register might consider appointing a more mature person to the role of moderator for this column - someone over 18 years of age would be good - if, in fact, you have any staff that match that qualification.

    1. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

      Re: Sh*t the bed, it's Comment of the Week

      It's true I only just turned 17. Forgive me.

      1. GrahamT
        Boffin

        5+7+5 = 17

        ***"I shall be dealing with all the numpties in that thread who can't cope with the 5-7-5 format in due course."***

        "It's true I only just turned 17. Forgive me."

        Ms Moderatrix

        Irony is your forte

        We l'haiku so much

  19. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Thank you, thank you *bows*

    I am a he, yes.

    I shall be magnanimous in my complete, utter, and thoroughly-deserved victory though. Here's your cowballs Daniel:

    http://msp91.photobucket.com/albums/k298/djnth/JillBalls.jpg

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Addendum

      @Hardcastle and any future pedants: You and I both know that cows don't have balls. Nevertheless, that's what comes up on Google Image Search for 'cowballs'. So either

      1) They're American

      or

      2) The photographer doesn't like Jill very much.

      You have to take it a you find it on the internet. Heifer loaf is better than none.

  20. unitron

    TFTFY

    There was young man came from Dell

    A computer he wanted to sell

    Made in Poland, said he

    and there's just a small fee

    And you get Windows 7 as well.

  21. Anonymous Coward
    Happy

    Ooohh

    Commenty votey things, where did they come from?

  22. jake Silver badge

    @AC 00:10

    "Commenty votey things, where did they come from?"

    Nobody knows ... It's probably best not to ask.

    Methinks that manglement at ElReg is in need of reconfiguring ...

  23. Winkypop Silver badge
    Unhappy

    Balls!

    That's all, I never win anything!

  24. ThomH Silver badge

    @AC

    I wouldn't worry about them; with the implementation pushing you to a different screen with no clearly marked way back (especially if you logged in on the screen immediately before), nobody much is going to use them.

  25. Coltek

    Why Should Britain Tremble...

    And that's all.

  26. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    @Balls!

    it is not the wining that counts, it is the taking part.

    I would like to take this opportunity to say, this particular week has seem some marvellous entries, some stonking corkers, and there was certainly stiff competition all round.

    So, Winkypop (if that is your real name), seek solace in that as the world spins another 7 times, so will your opportunity to claim the crown and scepter for, Comment of the Frigging Week.

  27. Eponymous Cowherd
    Thumb Up

    Infamy at last

    I'm not poet.

    And I know it.

    ***"I shall be dealing with all the numpties in that thread who can't cope with the 5-7-5 format in due course."***

    Excellent. Always willing to learn. I'll let you know when Mrs Cowherd is out feeding the chickens.....

  28. Blake St. Claire
    Thumb Up

    Better than everything else

    Is the admission by the Moderatrix that she has a pain chamber.

  29. jake Silver badge

    @GrahamT

    "Ms Moderatrix"

    5, and a good start!

    "Irony is your forte"

    That is only 6 ... Instead, try "Irony is your forte, eh?"

    "We l'haiku so much"

    Contrived, 'orribly, 'orribly contrived. But this member of the Peanut Gallery approves :-)

    1. GrahamT
      FAIL

      eye ron ee is your for tey = 7 syllables

      forte is two syllables, but I couldn't find the acute accent.

      As long as Ms Bee doesn't demand sonnets or alexandrines, I think I can cope.

      1. jake Silver badge

        eye ron ee is your fort = 6 syllables.

        "Forte" is pronounced "fort". Take a fencing class.

  30. Anonymous Coward
    FAIL

    @GrahamT

    > I couldn't find the acute accent.

    I found it for you: é

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