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Police in Michigan are hunting an enormous homeless burglar who swiped a family's Thanksgiving turkey. The Jackson Citizen Patriot reports that the Sobiegray family were left facing a fowl-free Thanksgiving, after the man kicked down their front door and raided their freezer on Tuesday night. The suspect in the theft of the …
The turkeys come frozen from the store. Though only a small 13 pounder (yes they come bigger) would fit most refrigerator freezers if some what empty. It is typically that a turkey is placed in the refrigerator section to thaw for sever days. It takes time for a bird of that size to thaw.
we can easily fit a large turkey in our main freezer. One year, when we were having the rest of the family over at Christmas, we fit _two_ turkeys and a ham in there, and our freezer is on the small end as things go locally. (We had turkey and ham leftovers for a month after that...)
To give you an idea of the size of the larger freezers, there was a CSI episode where the Bad Guy (well, Bad Girl in this case) hid the body of the victim (her mother...) in one of the larger chest-type freezers. The freezer was large enough that no-one noticed...
We'have a normal sized fridge and have done 11kg turkey's for big family gatherings before. It's a tight fit...certainly want to make sure you don't keep a lot of extras in there but certainly can be done. Where possible we try to buy a fresh one so we know it will not still be frozen in the middle when turkey time comes.
Some people complain about turkey leftovers....but if there isn't enough left over for a couple turkey pies and some sandwiches it leaves me wanting to pick up on of those 14 pound birds just to have "leftovers".
Of course it is our responsibility to point out the failings of capitalist tools in support of the downtrodden masses. We know that the workers named in this sad example are not themselves closet bourgeois entrepreneurs. They are fellow comrades that were preyed upon by a peer. Let us seize the opportunity of agitating for more political commissars to reeducate the workers on the true focus of the class struggle.
... and local organizations that help with job skills, education, and finding long- term solutions to homelessness instead of giving free food to all and sundry. In my town, we have a handful of soup kitchens who are open to all and give information about where to get real help, plus organizations that work long term solutions for those who want to help themselves (this last bit is key). Giving a homeless guy a sandwich is a great gesture and the compassion behind it should not be squashed, but resources should be put where they will do the most good (most agencies get matching grants or are otherwise able to double or triple the buying power of individual donations, which allows them to help more people).
Also, I doubt the storeowner (or anyone) would foresee that the perp would steal a [still-] frozen turkey -- how did he think he would prepare it? -- let alone from those who showed him kindness (no good deed goes unpunished). The perp's probably off his meds and needs a mental health case worker as well; with luck someone in the justice system will steer him to an agency that can help.
/socially liberal bleeding heart with a fiscally conservative scarred wallet
Here's a solution - lie on the floor, placing the turkey on top of you. Now scream and shout, accusing the frozen fowl of assault. The local law enforcement troupe will soon be onsite to tazer the hapless beast (turkey, that is). A couple of thousand volts of Franklin's finest will soon cook that bird up a treat. Job done.
Of course, if he's anything like UK hobos he'd have his nob up it by now, so best not use the tazer in that case....
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