back to article 'Alien spies live among us' says Bulgarian gov space boffin

A boffin at the Bulgarian national Space Research Institute has stated that not only are aliens living among us, but that they object strongly to "immoral behaviour" by humanity - such as causing global warming. "Unnatural" acts such as use of cosmetics and "artificial insemination" are also frowned upon by the extraterrestrial …

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  1. Shinobi87
    Alien

    can i just say

    WTF.

    I WANT TO BELIVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

  2. Anonymous John
    Welcome

    Can I be the first

    to welcome our new telepathic crop-circle making overlords? I don't want to be experimented on.

  3. Paul_Murphy

    Gang probing is Ok as long as your name is Flanders.

    Nice to see that some foreigners can be eccentric then, I was beginning to worry that it was a Labour spokesperson.

    So why are crop circles the method of choice for intra-species communication? what's wrong with a piece of paper, or maybe an etch-a-sketch?

    And if they were that annoyed by our behaviour then how come we are still alive (or they are still here)? Oh wait is it like one of those religion-things where people are supposed to believe what you say without asking awkward questions?

    They don't make aliens the way they used to.

    ttfn

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Joke

    Another film in the making?

    The guy doesn't happen to resemble Sasha Baron-Cohen, by any chance?

  5. HFoster

    Oh boy...

    Resignation/dismissal/retraction in 5... 4... 3... 2...

    Then again, Bulgaria is hardly considered a premier spacefaring nation.

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Happy

    Watch much TV recently??

    Methinks V (2009) has just aired in his neck of the woods.

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Bet these visitors don't have a valid visa

    Who are they to tell us how to destroy our planet? We can do that very well ourselves, thank you very much. Human science sneers at alien crop circle communications.

    Now there's an obscure reference for you to figure out. On an unrelated note, do they have fingerprints and dna like we do? How would they show up on the database then?

    1. Sillyfellow
      Joke

      maybe some do.

      hehe. funny.

      if an advanced race came here from another star system or dimension, it's plausible that for them, creating fake documents and infiltrating the computer systems would be a doddle. so maybe some would have a valid visa or any documents they desire for that matter.

      or, maybe they wouldn't need a visa, you know, if they had invisibility cloaks or were master hypnotists "you can't seeeee meeee, i am nooooottttt here". hehe.

      1. David Mullen
        Thumb Up

        Seen this idea some where else?

        Surely it is easier for said aliens to diguise themselves as or in machines.

  8. Alan B
    Thumb Up

    Oh yes...

    ...I remember seeing that movie as well.

  9. Code Monkey

    Someone's been working too hard

    Are we witnessing an Alan Partridge scale breakdown here?

  10. Danny 2 Silver badge

    Cut 'em Up

    Since the Bulgarian Georgi Ivanov was in space 12 years before Britains Helen Sharman maybe we shouldn't mock. The Britons who have confessed to making crop-circles should be dissected immediately as a precautionary measure. At best, we will find alien intelliegence, and at worst we will lose a few clowns like Doug Bower and Dave Chorley.

  11. Elmer Phud
    Alien

    Typo?

    "Luchezar Filipov, deputy head of the space institute "

    Spaced-out Institute?

    shirley

  12. Pete 43
    Alien

    Wait a sec

    Bulgaria has a space agency?

    1. Anton Ivanov
      Flame

      It does funnily enough. More than Britain in fact

      Britain has only one native astronaut - Helen Sharman, rest were naturalised into yankhood before going into space. Bulgaria has funnily enough two. I know one of them personally from the days I used to live in Moscow and have met the other one a couple of times.

      As far as Mr Philipov is concerned, well... Every country has its "special" people. By all accounts - he is mostly harmless.

    2. gifham

      clarification

      It is not a Spaces Agency, it has been translated wrong from Bulgarian.

      It is called Bulgarian Academy of Science.

      they are working in many fields.

      1. loopy lou

        fileds?

        Corn fields for the most part. Or maybe some rye with ergot?

  13. Andus McCoatover
    Alien

    Odd website name.

    novinite.com seems to be an anagram for "no invite.com"

    I.e., the aliens aint wanted. Now sod off, and take your crop circles with you.

    Is someone pulling someone's plonker here?

  14. Doug Glass
    Go

    Yeah, Right

    And Al Gore is one of them.

  15. Nick G
    Welcome

    I wondered

    what David Icke had been up to.

    Anyway, I for one etc...

  16. Sillyfellow
    Welcome

    outside perspective

    crop circles are still a mystery to me, but regardless of who made them and what they mean, they sure are absolutely beautiful to look at. surley that has enough value in itself?

    anyhows, try to imagine what a visiting advanced species would think when they see all the crazy shit going on in this world. especially considering how clever and 'civilized' we're supposed to be.

    PS. really like the new comments layout. nice work el reg.

    :?)

  17. Steve X
    Coat

    I'll bet

    The aliens are secretly running CERN as well, in the hope that they can create a black hole rift in spacetime & get home sooner. I've certainly had business trips that made me feel like that.

  18. Ian Ferguson
    Thumb Up

    Oh this is just brilliant

    Ten million internets to the first person who can find out how BAS 'decrypts' crop circle patterns to get their messages. Then we'll have a fun trip to Bulgaria next summer to do some circlemaking :D

    www.circlemakers.org

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Coat

      Easy....

      1. Smoke a big fat reefer

      2. Look closely at crop circle. Say "whoooaa man.... grrrroovyyy...." a few times.

      3. ??

      4. Profit!!

      Can I has mai 10,000,000 internets in cheeseburger pls? I has munchies. Kthxbai!

      <-the one with the kitteh in each pocket

    2. Sillyfellow

      sorry,

      i don't speak Bulgarian.

  19. Mike 140
    Big Brother

    It's a hack

    Obviously someone has hacked the bulgarian sites and rerouted them to http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/

  20. Markus Wallett

    Aliens in the room, and no-one sees them for the mustard

    The world basically operates like this: We're in one big consensus reality, with loads of emperors new clothes and elephants in the room with us. Essentially, the majority of the population like their comfort zones and their own little worlds, and the non-terrestrials appreciate that fact, which is nice of them. Personally I think they should appear in the open and go boo, and give a lot of people a psychological collapse. Now, that would be funny.

    BTW, does anyone remember that story that made the mainstream media of that copper in Wiltshire who disturbed three "Tall Blondes" in that crop formation in July of this year, and they scarpered from the field like Usain Bolt, only 10 times faster?

  21. leakyPC
    Welcome

    hmmm

    If they are so worried about the environment being damaged why do they destroy perfectly good crops to communicate? Do they use a plank and a piece of rope as well?

    I for one welcome are Alien overlords who have obviously decided against further crop circle for communication, but have infiltrated the Bulgaria Space agency to get there Voices heard.

  22. Anonymous Coward
    Boffin

    And some folks wonder why "Bulgarian Sceince" is an oxymoron?

    Enough Said.

    1. Andus McCoatover
      Joke

      Bulgarian science aint so bad..

      After all, the Bulgarians invented Airbags. I think...

  23. M7S

    Moral High Ground?

    As their message involves damaging an innocent farmers livelihood and some (admittedly small) loss of food for the planet?

    Couldn't they use perhaps a vegetable dye that would wash off in time and apply it somewhere like the M25. Unless of course you think the M25 is already a form of message from a higher power.

    Does anyone else think that Paradox airing at the same time CERN goes back on line is just a little too coincidental.

    1. Ihre Papiere Bitte!!

      Pratchett & Gaiman

      explained the origins of the M25 in Good Omens. It wasn't aliens, it was the Baddies From Hell -

      "Many phenomena – wars, plagues, sudden audits – have been advanced as evidence for the hidden hand of Satan in the affairs of Man, but whenever students of demonology get together the M25 London orbital motorway is generally agreed to be among the top contenders for exhibit A."

      "In fact, very few people on the face of the planet know that the very shape of the M25 forms the sigil *odegra* in the language of the Black Priesthood of Ancient Mu, and means 'Hail the Great Beast, Devourer of Worlds'."

  24. lglethal Silver badge
    Joke

    You would think...

    ... that if the Aliens were "friendly and wanted to help us" they would implant in someones mind, maybe this dude they "seem" to be communicating with, the keys to clean energy. Funnily enough they havent. I cant possibly understand the reasons why... *rolleyes*

    Oh and if they object to makeup it could mean one of two things - 1) there all super amazingly gorgeous space babes, who look down on the earthly womans need of beauty enhancers with ill concealed contempt or b) they are all hideously disgusting beasts that not even a paralytically drunken scouser in a dark alley would say yes to, in which case there worried about losing out to the far superior earth female, especially once decked out in those lovely little enhancers that make us men all gooey! Tough call on which one it is going to be...

    1. Sillyfellow
      Welcome

      planting ideas

      well, maybe aliens have been planting ideas in peoples heads. say, we have a fantastic idea all of a sudden.. who's to say where that idea came from.

      if someone thinks something is their own idea then they'll probably be much more receptive of it, so it seems to me this would be a good way of doing things. removes the complication of the hysteria and kookiness of 'an alien told me'.

      ;?)

  25. Anonymous John
    Happy

    They're here and against Global Warming?

    Perhaps we should insist on everyone at the Climatic Research Unit being X-rayed. That should flush out most of them.

    1. MichaelBirks
      Flame

      @Anonymous John

      And stop their war of nerves with Earth?

      Are you the man who can stop them, a man whom fate has made indestructible?

      Flames because they're Scarlet. And Black, of course.

  26. Daniel Grout
    Thumb Up

    I for one...

    welcome our new environmentally conscious overlords. Long may they tax the life out of us for things we can't change.

  27. Bassey

    Confusion

    I think he's getting "Extra-terrestrial Aliens" and "The Pope" mixed up.

  28. Rob
    Alert

    Change the name, the product stays the same

    Seems Bulgaria wants to be the centre of modern day culture and this must be an early attempt to change the title of a certain substance to 'Bulgarian Marching Powder'

  29. Anonymous Coward
    Alien

    Communication has happened for ages.

    I mean, we have amanfrommars, for heaven's sake. It's not exactly a secret. And sometimes he makes more sense than a crop circle.

  30. Paul Hates Handles
    Alien

    ...no makeup?

    That'll make some of 'em easier to spot, then :)

  31. Ted Treen
    Terminator

    Well,

    It would certainly explain Blair, Mandelson, Brown & Darling (inter alia)...

  32. Jolyon
    Alien

    @Ted Treen

    "It would certainly explain Blair, Mandelson, Brown & Darling (inter alia)..."

    Nah, I'm with Ridley, the plural is 'aliens'.

  33. Anonymous Coward
    Alien

    Ok...

    It's a fair cop Guv, I am an Alien; I have an Extra Terestrial to prove it!

  34. xyz Silver badge
    Coat

    Bulgarian airbag

    Had to be said...I'll get my etc

  35. AndrueC Silver badge
    Joke

    Stooopid aliens - we don't want 'em

    ..I mean let's look at the 'facts'. They travel billions of kilometres and arrive three thousand years ago. They identify the most advanced civilisation of the time and teach them how to build huge structures. Out of stone. Not steel and concrete - stone.

    Then supposedly a thousand years later they move to South America and teach them the same thing only this time they also explain about stairs. Gosh.

    Around the same time they build a massive space port on a high plateau but instead of laying down concrete or tarmac they just remove some dust and leave all the rocks and pebbles in place. Clearly the result doesn't work the first time so they keep building runways but never seem to get it right. Eventually they give up, resort to graffiti and give up.

    Now they have the cheek to try and tell us how to run our lives and our own planet? I'm sure if they asked us nicely we could complete their spaceport for them and then they could sod off to wherever they came from.

  36. Robert Ramsay
    Joke

    Of course he's right!

    Just ask his esteemed colleague, Dr. Hans Zarkov!

  37. Fred 24
    Joke

    Its all arse backwards

    ... it's merely Invader Zim and Gir up to their propaganda tricks again, if he wasn't so over-zealous he would have succeeded at the mass-remote-mind control!

  38. Kevin 6
    Alien

    ehh?

    ""Unnatural" acts such as use of cosmetics and "artificial insemination" are also frowned upon by the extraterrestrial visitors."

    And here I always thought they started the use of artificial insemination on humans. So this is a do as I say not as I do situation then.

  39. shay mclachlan
    Unhappy

    maybe my mistake

    Maybe it's partly my fault .As an occasional participant in inebriated Saturday night crop circle activities around Wessex in my youth, it now looks like we did actually get in touch with aliens from another world.

    God knows what drunken abusive messages we might have unknowingly sent. I just hope it wasnt the kind that result in a raging alien anger and instant planetary oblivion for earthlings.

    Sorry.

  40. Anonymous Coward
    Pint

    Fossil Fuels

    To be fair, our reliance on fossil fuels is frankly embarrassing.

    For example, all of the space projects relied on what are effectively bigger versions of firework rockets, invented by the Chinese millennia ago.

    To sneer at fossil fuels when using a good energy source such as fusion, hutchison effect or gravity bending is like us taking a Tesla Roadster (The way I see it, if you're gonna build a time machine into a car, why not do it with some style?) back in time and laughing at Karl Benz's steam powered tricycle.

    Also, the greys shouldn't criticise our attempts at personal aesthetic improvement (make up), seeing as their bodies are effectively organic/robotic "dolls" from which they can move in and out of on a higher plane. Those of us who haven't been shown how to reach a higher plane are stuck in our beer-gutted body and condemned to grow old and frail.

    The pursuit of clean energy would also be helped if we didn't get amnesia about past lives after every rebirth. Imagine a 1000 year old recursive Einstein or Nikola Tesla.

    1. Sillyfellow
      Go

      agreed

      and a perceptive post. check this out..

      from oldest to newest..

      Nicola Tesla : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gt8Y93k0pB0

      Dr Robert Adams : http://www.rexresearch.com/adamotor/adamotor.htm

      Prof. Searle : www.searleffect.com (not too sure about this one though)

      George Mitchell : http://keelynet.wordpress.com/2009/07/19/new-self-powering-generator/ & http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V-MQvzOCNSI

      and now myself too : http://www.squidoo.com/alternative-energy-thinkgreen

      and these are just the ones based on electromagnetics, there's still the ones extracting energy from water etither using aluminium, water and some chemical, or, using water, salt and sonics..

      1. Anonymous Coward
        FAIL

        Oh no...

        The something from nothing crowd are back!

        Perpetual motion is impossible, no matter how you wrap it in psudoscience.

        1. Sillyfellow
          WTF?

          re: oh no...

          science is a method, not a textbook or article. thanks.

  41. Les Matthew
    Alien

    @Ted Treen

    are you related to The Mekon?

  42. Anonymous Coward
    FAIL

    Unnatural?

    Sooo.. "they object to artificial insemination and makeup as 'unnatural'" ... but perfectly fine with the oh-so-natural manipulation of anti-matter engines and interstellar space travel....

    Reminds me of those people that complain about "unnatural acts" but funnily enough watch plasma tvs, drive cars, fly in planes etc etc

  43. Malintzin1
    Thumb Up

    Really funny ... even for bulgarian peoples :-)

    Hehehehe...

    Hello folks!

    I was surprised to reed this about the words of our Bulgarian boffins!

    I'm from Bulgaria and when I read the news I was laugh a lot.

    I think that he have not to be taken serious as a scientist. Yes it was a smart guy but indeed reason to be 22 years on this position is all the connection he have. His father was one of ex-communistic party leader. IMHO his words have not to be taken seriously.

    Indeed we have some really good scientists and most of them left our country and work for different institutes.

    And about the space... yes we have before a lot very small projects as a peace of the Russian space program. Last year our country lose chance to take place in EU space projects of ESA because of ridiculous delay in budget funds.

    And about our science ...hmmm what to say... - for a small country as Bulgaria we have enough invents and rationalizations.

    One of most popular facts nowadays is the first core technology for computer calculations developed by John Atanasov who have bulgarian roots. You can see this here - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Atanasoff.

    Is very pity to say that in the last 20-30 years our science going constantly bad and even some genial ideas was just sold.

    I still remember my friend who try to take a patent for an idea of microprocessor core which can be reprogrammed and upgraded just by connecting another parallel core processor. Nowadays this is realized with some differences by the multi-core cell processors.

  44. Boris the Cockroach Silver badge
    Alien

    There are aliens

    on planet earth and I should know

    I'm one of them

    I'm also a multi-millionaire back on the home world ever since the major networks have been showing "Postcards from earth", the top rated comedy show of all time.

    Yes I show my home world how f**king stupid mankind really is.

    Anyways.. the current season is nearly over and I'm off for a well earned vacation in the fluagrun beta system.

    See you all next year... assuming you dont have a nuclear war in the meantime...... nuclear weapons... dearie dearie me

  45. LaeMi Qian
    Alien

    The real question...

    ...is not if aliens are observing us. It is: are these aliens legit anthropologists taking the opportunity to document the latest iteration of the most prone-to-societal-collapse species ever; or reality-3D producers filming for "Galaxy's dumbest soon-to-be-extinct species" (the title is catchier in galactastand).

    And if they can please let me in on the secret of coping with living amongst modern humanity without going ga-ga it would be much appreciated.

  46. LaeMi Qian
    Alien

    The real question...

    ...is not if aliens are observing us. It is: are these aliens legit anthropologists taking the opportunity to document the latest iteration of the most prone-to-societal-collapse species ever; or reality-3D producers filming for "Galaxy's dumbest soon-to-be-extinct species" (the title is catchier in galactastand).

  47. Anonymous Coward
    Grenade

    not bloody likely

    Alien abductions are like bad blow-jobs. Theoretically possible, and some people even claim to have experience, but really what are the chances?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Coat

      Hard to say..

      I haven't experienced any alien abductions...

      (The other is more than possible, sadly. It's really hard to get the well-meaning other party to stop without giving offense, sadly)

  48. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Spies is such a perjorative term

    who knows, very much like the native American Indians, these so called aliens, were in fact the original inhabitants of the planet, and the human races were a couple of meteors and a few millenniums later.

    If you look into some of the older texts, it is not beyond reasoning that there were Guardians of this planet, and of course they could have been seen as Angels, over the years they probably gave up a little on us, though who can blame them.

    Anyway, it is all going a bit Babylon 5 - I am waiting for the 'We are here to take Prime Minister Unelect Brown into Custody' bit, and someone better be watching out for any 'Scorched Earth' ideas he may be having. Though come to think about it, the metaphor has already extended to the economy.

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  50. Robert E A Harvey
    Alien

    Bwahahahahhaaaa

    "all going a bit Babylon 5" is absolute genius. I cannot promise not to nick it for use elsewhere

  51. Chris Fleming
    Pint

    Not bloody likely

    Cracked me off man, I.m still laughing!

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