Vampires not good role models for Catholics, declares Vatican

The Vatican has come out against vampirical toothy teen book'n'movie series Twilight, dismissing the epic girl loves vampire, girl loses vampire, girl becomes vampire cycle as a "deviant moral vacuum". The Holy See's attempt to drive a stake through the heart of the burgeoning film franchise came as it took £1.8m on its …

[Stan Smith]

Twilight isn't real? WHAT?!?!?

Don't they realize it's a fantasy? Just like religion, I mean...

[dogged]

heh

Can't wait to see the Pope's thoughts on <i>True Blood</i>.

[Sludge]

Really?

Transubstantiation anyone?

And my daughter's off to see this tonight so more Twishite wittering in the house when she gets back. Bleh.

[Matthew Smith]

But the Holy Communion...

.. is all about eating the flesh and drinking the blood of Jesus. Whats not for the Vatican to like?

[Ihre Papiere Bitte!!]

Stephen King

Was reputedly asked if Meyer was the "new JK Rowling", His answer was "No - Rowling knows how to write."

(I don't agree with his assessment of JKR, I can't stand her work - but I once tried reading my niece's copy of Twilight and after 20 or so pages of my eyes slowly being burned out, I gave up)

[Benny]

Hush now

Don't they have more important things to do?!

"This film is nothing more than a moral vacuum with a deviant message and as such should be of concern."

Soudns pretty good then!

[Law]

explain to me...

... who the f*ck asked them for their opinion in the first place?!

disclaimer: I've never seen Twilight/New Moon/Old Moon/Half Moon/Dawn... whatever it is the kids are watching these days.

[Hollerith 1]

One could argue

...that the film promotes the selfless power of love. But THAT wouldn't be compatible with organised religion, would it?

[deadlockvictim]

And Unix?

Do we have the official Vatican line on Unix? As far as I understand, it makes substantial use of daemons, and this, surely, cannot be good. Has no-one thought of the children and gateways to the occult?

[Anonymous Coward]

Hee hee hee

So: a bunch of people who dress in black and – using charming tales and hocus pocus – insinuate themselves into communities in order to prey on young virgins are a bad role model then?

Sounds like the vatican’s upset about a bit of turf-crossing if you ask me…

[Chris Haynes]

NEWSFLASH!

Pope not good role model for anyone, declares Common Sense.

Are we to assume that the demons and 'Satan' character as mentioned in the Bible and various other mad texts of fantasy, divisiveness, intolerance, bigotry and foolishness are then, mere imaginations? Or are those ones real?

Seriously, if a movie or book about IMAGINARY creatures is immoral, why is a book that tells us of, ahem, REAL creatures moral?

You can't write a book about vampires, but you can frighten kids into being good by telling them they'll burn for ever in fire and have red hot pokers shoved up their a-holes for all eternity by little red minions of The Evil One (not Ratzinger... although...)?

F**ked-up.

Hey, Ratzinger, if your god thinks humans are the centre of the universe, what happens when other life forms are discovered? Do they know anything of Jerusalem? Bethlehem? Nazareth? etc.

I shall sign off this long rant with a simple: Religion. My arse.

[mafoo]

Umm... Bloood and Wafers

Maybe they should be theming evening mass every sunday as "Twilight Mass" where teenagers get to "drink the blood of christ".

They might draw the line at eating his body tho... thats going a bit too far.

[Anonymous Coward]

objectivity

I think the vast majority of children are capable of telling the difference between fact and fiction.

On the other hand, the vatican is having much greater difficulty in distinguishing between imaginary friends and reality.

[Dave Ross]

In other news...

sky found to be blue!

[Disconcerted Badger]

By Ihre Papiere Bitte!!

JK Rowling doesnt know how to write she knows how to tell a good story but writing never. She uses the same words/descriptions, metaphors and setpieces time and time again slightly altered. She is however a childrens writer and as such this is understandably ignored

[Niall 1]

Down with this sort of thing!

Careful now.

[Rob Morton]

How it should have ended

http://i77.photobucket.com/albums/j63/mentalwheaties/twilight.jpg

[Glyn 2]

@deadlockvictim

Unix is the gateway OS

[Anonymous Coward]

"a heavy esoteric element"

Somewhat ironic statement for a man of cloth.

[Nomen Publicus]

Do something useful

Why can't they condemn something like Xfactor and save lives?

[Philip Blythe]

How Ironic

Seeing as one the main catholic rituals involves the drinking of Christs "blood".. oh, and the eating of His flesh, I believe they have issues about cannibals too. Although the cannibals probably liked catholic missionaries

[Bob Kentridge]

Vatican?

Who cares about whatever this vatican thing is. What does His Noodliness have to say on the matter?

[LuMan]

Catholic Cinema

So, if I made a film about Catholocism (or however it's spelt!) and portrayed the 'heroes' as murderous, nepotistic egoists, who slay (in cold blood) those who question their faith, the Vatican would fully condone the message and give it 5 stars.

Didn't think so....

[Mike Bird 1]

Tirade

"Oh gawd .. we're slipping from the people's viewpoint .. quick come up with some tirade on a popular subject so we at least look kewl."

~Facepalm

[Jerome 0]

Deviance? Did I miss it?

"Deviant moral vacuum"? I can't argue with the vacuum part, but I've yet to see much evidence of the moral deviancy. I guess I'll just stick to The Hunger - I wonder if His Holiness has seen that one?

[frymaster]

Don't know if it's deviant

...but it's certainly vacuous

[Petey]

Missing the point

Who gives a crap if they're vamipres? The allegory is that there are monstrous people in the book who did not choose to be that way and who are side-lined in society because of a choice they did not make.

Fear of the unknown etc.

The pope and all his fellow plebs should be more worried about films like Angels and Demons which suggest that members of the Vatican close to the pope are corrupt and sick.

Get a grip you old fart.

[Havin_it]

@Rob Morton, @Niall 1

Great stuff lads, two "Pfffft"s in a row! You can go Dutch on my new keyboard.

Good point from the earlier poster who mentioned True Blood, too - guess the Vatican don't get HBO, 'cause I suspect they'd have a bit more to say about that masterpiece of ruff sex, low laughs and scenery-chewing. (Oh, and they've just worked in a bit of African Juju into the plot too, which gives them another prong of complaint.)

[Scott 19]

Cofused

"This film is nothing more than a moral vacuum with a deviant message and as such should be of concern."

Like Religion then?

[lukewarmdog]

Bears, woods, etc

They've actually made it sounds more interesting. Deviant messages? Yes please. Moral vacuum? Just my cup of tea.

I'm with Nomen Publicus, get the Pope to condemn Simon bloody Cowell for the sake of all of us. Maybe also some holy water could be sprinkled on Mandelson.

Pope seems as useless as the Queen.

[duncan campbell]

or

something

[Marco van de Voort]

Euh, Buffy?

This is hardly the first vampire series. Did nobody ever briefed them about BTVS?

[Somerset John]

church morality?

So Ratty and his minions condemn fictitious morally challenged creatures like vampires yet will not condemn real morally challenged creatures, i.e. pedophile priests!

If anyone is interested I recommend "The Intelligence Squared Debate" originally on BBC World, now can be found on UTube. Fascinating debate on the church's morality.

[Anonymous Coward]

Such timing

And what stock trades has the vatican done this past week or two?

[Real Ale is Best]

Have they even read the books?

So, the Vatican are condemning a story about a girl who refuses to have sex outside of marriage, where the 'monsters' fight against their evil nature, and have turned to good, and where an abortion is prevented, despite grave risk to the mother?

I really don't understand them

[Anonymous Coward]

Better not...

Show the pope the film "Let the Right One In" then!

[Arthur the cat]

"a heavy esoteric element"

Surely that's Seaborgium?

[Al 14]

It's FICTION...

... but then so is the bible in large parts, so it's probably no surprise they're getting confused!

[J 3]

Er...

Actually, Catholicism is nothing more than a moral vacuum with a deviant message and as such should be of concern. Make that all religions, ta.

Anyway, first thing I hear of this Twilight thing, so I guess they are doing the film a favor...

[Anonymous Coward]

Glass houses...

Better or worse than the child abusing priests the RC Church spent so much time and effort protecting?

Better or worse than warmonger Tony B. Liar, who the RC Church welcomed with open arms?

People who live in glass houses...

[Andy Taylor]

There's a good reason the Vatican don't want you to read Dan Brown

Because his books are rubbish, they're just trying to save you from them

[Anonymous Coward]

Belief in a supernatural being is equivalent to having a moral vacuum?

Yes, as a former Roman Catholic, I can confirm this to be true.

[Craig 28]

@Hollerith

No, the vattican only approves if it is the selfless love of the church. They only want people to love their wife or husband because by doing so they're showing their love for the church, because the bible tells them to love their wife or husband.

I'm very tolerant in religious terms, but I've little patience for the crap that spews from the vattican. The vattican isn't tolerant to even half their membership (women), having told them to return to their traditional roles. How can you be tolerant towards such a group? I am tolerant towards individuals so long as they don't spout the same rubbish they're told to spout without thinking first.

[P. Lee]

Flame bait

According to Christianity, nobody but Jesus is a good role-model. Twilight was never likely to come close. I suspect the RC pronouncement was more of, "this stuff is rubbish, don't promote it to your children" than "Having considered all things I say unto thee, keep thyself from the cinema of Twilight for you will burn forever if you see it."

The RC church may shrink from portraying its "heros" in a bad light but the the christian god doesn't. For example, David shirks his responsibilities by "leading" his army from the safety of his palace, sleeps with his general's wife and gets her pregnant. When he can't get the general to sleep with his wife to cover his tracks he has the general murdered in battle and marries the widow. Abraham passes off his pretty wife as his sister in case the king wants to have sex with her and murders him to get to her. God's own people whine continuously despite having been freed from slavery by him. Eventually they kill his son. When that happens, all Jesus' closest friends ditch him and run, denying they even know him. Christianity is not about heros and good people, its about bad people and the lengths God goes to to rescue them.

And Newsflash, you can make moral arguments and assertions with fictional characters. As others have pointed out, one of the issues dealt with is prejudice which is a really popular subject to deal with because only the Nazis and BNP go there, so everyone in the audience feels good that they aren't gassing millions of Jews or using the word "nigger." I suggest that sex before marriage is more of an issue which might actually be relevant to those watching. How does the film treat that? I suspect its just telling people what is trendy and they think they already want to hear. However, do you really want to create a sexual bond with someone who wants to keep open the option of ditching you? God said, "Don't do that, someone will get hurt. Commit first, then, go for it like rabbits!"

And yes, Mr Cowell (along with pretty much all western culture) promotes a moral vacuum, I suspect because if you can get people to stop making value judgements, you can sell them anything.

[Gilbert Wham]

@deadlockvictim

Fuck's sake, dont give them ideas. I think the Vatican aren't THAT crazy, but there are others...

[PT]

Re: Have they even read the books

"So, the Vatican are condemning a story about a girl who refuses to have sex outside of marriage"

I guess you haven't read them either. She's actually a horny little devil who openly lusts after her boyfiend (sic) for two and a half books. It's the righteous (undoubtedly Mormon) vampire that refuses to sample the goods until they're legally wed. And then he knocks her up on the first attempt.

(well, as a responsible parent I need to know what filth my kids are filling their minds with)

[Anonymous Coward]

Has the Catholic Church ever bothered

to look at its own rather sordid and murky past.

What next, kiddy fiddlers, giving out moral advice, oh wait ...

What was that line in that rather well circulated book, something about removing a plank in one's own eye, rather than looking at the saw dust speck in your brothers?

Judge not, lest ye be Judged, Matty boy had a lot of wisdom squirrelled away in his testaments, shame they don't bother to read it anymore, let alone act on it.

[Jerome 0]

@ PT

LMFAO @ "boyfiend"!

[Anonymous Coward]

God is hardly a good role model in his own book

He creates a race of sentient beings, curses them all with mortality (for reasons which are not made clear), then in the very last chapter destroys them all (allowing himself, in the guise of his own son, to be tortured and murdered in the meantime).

What a fine example for us all.

[Shady]

Trade Descriptions Act

They aren't Vampires in Twilight, just incredibly strong emo's - and since an emo is just a lazy goth I suppose that doesn't work either....

[raving angry loony]

psychology?

I wonder how much the movie makers paid to have the Vatican trash it? Oh, new gold roof for the Vatican? Suits you sir! Now, trash our movie to make it look good. Ta!

[Adam T]

Vacuous indeed

I guess the pope, too, must have been conned into being the driver to the midnight showing last Thursday.

I've never been so uncomfortable in my life. What an absolute pile of garbage - it was like being stuck in a auditorium-sized Avon party. Fuck me.

I got my own back at the very end, when I very childishly burst out laughing at the closing line. I was lucky to get out alive. Women in those numbers, definitely not to be scorned...

[TeeCee]

So this is the end of religion?

In the good old days, they'd have been out there on the front line instigating a new Inquisition, fully tooled-up with bells, books, candles, stakes, garlic, holy water, pulse-phased plasma rifles* and all fired up for a bit of heavy-duty converting.

Now they put out a PR.

*Sod DARPA, gimme Jesuits any day.....

[Paul Hates Handles]

...and then...

..."Oh, and also - the film is shit!" says Pope.

Pope right for the first time in history shocker!

[Wize]

@ Law

"disclaimer: I've never seen Twilight/New Moon/Old Moon/Half Moon/Dawn..."

Mmmm Jafacakes *drool*

[niceguydave]

Brains

This from an organisation which worships a benevolent zombie.