back to article Write haiku, win home server

Intel and Microsoft want to give you a home server in exchange for 17 syllables of poetic artistry. Seeing as how, according to the companies' just-announced Home Server Haiku Challenge, a "home server is like having a samurai in a box," it's fitting that a haiku-writing contest would be just the culturally sensitive gimmick …


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  1. TrevorPrinn

    Samurai in a box?

    I don't think I want one if the slightest error causes it to rip its insides apart so that it can't fail me again.

  2. Anonymous Coward


    There ARE people other than Americans you know.

    Or maybe you don't. >:-(

  3. Reallydo Wannaknow

    read ALL the fine print in the rules

    "A random drawing selecting 100 of the total entries will be held on12/12/2009 by HB Design, an independent judging organization. Of the 100 entries selected, judges will select 23 of the best haikus."

    So, if you win the random drawing lottery, then you've got roughly a 1 in 4 chance of winning something. Sounds like random chance counts for a lot more than poetic skill.

    Clever Marketing

    Capturing information

    Cloaked as a contest.

  4. Anonymous Coward


    leaf on tree falling, browning and


    Acountants use this PC

    Tippex is on monitor?

  5. JoeG

    Here's one...

    Contest is open to legal residents of the United States,

    twenty-one (21) years of age

    or older as of entry date.

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Gates Horns


    Kiss my ass M.S.

    I will use Linux only

    I don't need your sh*t

  7. Anonymous Coward

    how do you count these syllables anyway?

    crap is being streamed

    twennty four hours a day

    i have switched off

  8. Stuart Rogers

    Here's one...

    Wintel Home Server

    Is a fitting replacement

    For dead Time Capsule.

  9. adnim

    @ Reallydo Wannaknow

    Very clever, well done.

    Here's my attempt:

    Asus and HP

    reliable may be true

    MS f*cks it up

  10. Meph

    Since I'm not a 'Merkin

    obviously no solidarity amongst the colonies, so 'Merkins, feel free to abscond with this, however royalties are appropriate :P

    a server at home

    no one would really want it

    who am i kidding?!

  11. Paul Hovnanian Silver badge

    Here's One

    "I start Windows now.

    Updates arrive endlessly.

    I switch to Linux."

    OK, Microsoft. Where's my server?

  12. William Anderson
    IT Angle


    Were I in the States

    I could enter this compo

    However, I'm not.

  13. Graham Marsden
    Big Brother

    A UK version...

    A server at home?

    Message from the Home Office:

    It's covered by IMP

  14. Bob Bramwell

    Another rejection slip

    Why would you use crap

    like Microsoft Home Server?

    Linux is better.

  15. geekster

    this work?

    ubuntu rocks me

    Microsoft wants a haiku

    They can suck my dick

  16. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Down


    For americans?

    contest i say is weaksauce

    no HP for me :(

  17. Big-nosed Pengie

    My entry

    Microsoft tries hard

    to distribute their shite, but

    must give it away.

  18. Anonymous Coward

    Here's One

    Home Server's used for


    crappy OS's

  19. Frumious Bandersnatch

    feeble (this and that)

    I know which I'd choose:

    A suffusion of yellow

    Or blue screen of death

  20. Dave Harris Bronze badge

    Always liked...

    Three things are certain

    Death, taxes, and lost data

    Guess which just happened

  21. Lunatik
    Gates Horns

    But I'm ¼ 'Merkin!

    Contest rules unfair

    Someone call the Waaahmbulance!

    Pram now dummyless

  22. myxiplx2

    Bye bye data...

    Windows Home Server

    now why the fuck

    would I want that?

  23. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Down

    The last line needs work...

    I'd like a server

    But I'm not American

    Bollocks bollocks boll...

  24. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    where's my 10ft pole?

    no windows no intel

    and to top it off

    not an american

  25. George Nacht

    Staying true to haiku form?

    True haiku form surely means using one of roughly 100 classic approved themes - and crush me below VAX 11/770 if there is anything about home servers. Or "samirais in the box" for that matter.

    I read the rulebook

    Yet the point eludes me still

    Is foolish one me?

  26. Goatan

    oh no

    A wasted day of

    a plethora of haikus

    i hate microsoft

  27. Mr Larrington


    Has anyone contacted noted haiku artiste and new President of the European Council Herman van Rompuy?

  28. Anonymous Coward
    Gates Halo

    Ginger rage

    Scamps get on yahoo

    About Stu I need to talk

    He's prammed it again.

  29. DavidT

    @ JoeG & AC #1

    Two extra line-breaks

    Do not constitute haiku.

    Count the syllables.

  30. Anonymous Coward
    Gates Halo

    The good ship Microsoft

    We love you Bill Gates.

    It's a shame you left the helm

    Ballmer is a c**t

    Japanese art forms

    Can be africted by this

    Casual lacism

    Oblig: oi scamps get on yahoo. I need to talk to you abou stu [-]

  31. The BigYin


    There's a rather sweet little desktop OS called "Haiku" inspired by BeOS. It's still gestating and rough round the ages, but it seems to hold promise as it doesn't suffer from all the bloat of Linux (let alone Windows), so might be good for older/lower spec units.

    The comment from Dave Harris is very close (identical?) to one of Haiku's error messages.

    You can find out about Haiku here:

    And I strongly suggest you muck around with it under virtualisation repeating the haiku

    "Haiku is not Linux,

    And neither of them are Windows.

    Oh thank god!"

  32. Pete 2 Silver badge

    How it will work out

    enter a contest

    write with no sincerity

    sell prize on eBay

  33. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Haiku fail

    Only one has any seasonal reference so far.

  34. breakfast

    A lottery huh?

    Words chosen with care

    Blow away on winds of chance...

    No server for you!

  35. Richard IV

    And this isn't going to make me sign up to Twitter either

    _Samba / Competition_

    Five, sev'n, five, three lines:

    A simple standard to keep

    But we rewrote the rules.


    Loyalty unto death:

    Is Windows Home Server

    like a samurai?

  36. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

    Re: @ JoeG & AC #1

    David T is right.

    If you don't understand it

    You're an idiot.

  37. 2FishInATank
    Gates Horns

    Pah! BeOS error messages FTW!

    Stealing ideas from

    The BeOS will not win you

    any friends here Bill

    Some particularly relevant NetPositive error messages:

    Won't you please observe

    A brief moment of silence

    For the dead server?

    First snow, then silence.

    This expensive server dies

    So beautifully.

    Ephemeral site.

    I am the Blue Screen of Death.

    No one hears your screams.

    Errors have occurred.

    We won't tell you where or why.

    Lazy programmers.

    Server's poor response

    Not quick enough for browser.

    Timed out, plum blossom.

    Stay the patient course

    Of little worth is your ire

    The server is down

    Error reduces

    Your expensive computer

    To a simple stone.

  38. Sam Green

    My attempt

    Samba is flaky

    Home Server makes Jesus cry

    I'm off to the pub

  39. Raspy32


    I would rather buy

    A cheap home enema kit

    Than Microsoft crap

  40. peyton?

    @Haiku fail

    Comments by AC

    Fails to even google it;

    Always git season

  41. DrJaymansLoveCookie


    Forty comments now,

    and no Hitler mention yet.

    Godwin's law, still valid?

  42. A. Coatsworth
    Thumb Up

    To title or not to title...

    This shower of fine poetry has inspired me... so here is my try

    Haikus galore

    even without BofH this is

    a happy Friday

    ...and one for the contest:

    Windows Home Server

    like a possum on the lines

    it will burn and die

  43. Irony Deficient Silver badge


    In late November,

    no Twitter, no home server —

    Thanksgiving observed.

  44. Quirkafleeg

    Er, holiday season?

    Holiday season?

    Can't be; it's not Christmas yet.

    That's in December.

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