Sony to bring Risk to the big screen Sony Pictures Entertainment has acquired the rights to produce a movie based on Hasbro's classic strategy boardgame Risk, offering the delicious possibility that the company might follow it up with Ludo: The Motion Picture and Mahjong: Tiles of Destiny. Those of you wishing to object to the plan are directed to /FILM, which …
Oh for Christ's sake Hollywood stop ruining everything. You didn't need to remake "The Wicker Man" dumbed-down for Americans with an action hero kicking a nun. You don't need to re-re-remake every bank robbery film every three years: they aren't cheese, they won't go mouldy. And you shouldn't go squeezing a few paltry dollars out of good, honest brands like Risk just because Disney has already raped all of our fairytale heritage. Create something new. Damn it.
We all know how that is going to go... Asia cannot be held despite its 7 men at the start of every turn advantage, Napoleon and Hitler can tell you how that goes.
Of course Australia will inevitably win by conquering the islands near them with a big fat army sitting on Indonesia and Papa New Guinea and just building up until they can conquer everyone else.
I for one welcome our new Australian overlords.
LISTER: What I want to know, is how the smeg can you remember what dice
you threw at a game you played when you were seventeen?
RIMMER: I jotted it down in my Risk campaign book. I always used to do
that so I could replay my moments of glory over a glass of brandy in
the sleeping quarters. I ask you, what better way is there to spend a
Saturday night?
CAT: Ya got me.
RIMMER: So a six and a three and he came back with a three and a two.
LISTER: Rimmer, can’t you tell the story is not gripping me? I’m in a
state of non-grippedness, I am completely smegging ungripped. Shut the
smeg up.
RIMMER: Don’t you want to hear the Risk story?
LISTER: That’s what I’ve been saying for the last fifteen minutes.
RIMMER: But I thought that was because I hadn’t got to the really
interesting bit…
LISTER: What really interesting bit?
RIMMER: Ah well, that was about two hours later, after he’d thrown a
three and a two and I’d thrown a four and a one. I picked up the
dice…
LISTER: Hang on Rimmer, hang on… the really interesting bit is exactly
the same as the dull bit.
RIMMER: You don’t know what I did with the dice though, do you? For all
you know, I could have jammed them up his nostrils, head butted him on
the nose and they could have blasted out of his ears. That would’ve
been quite interesting.
LISTER: OK, Rimmer. What did you do with the dice?.
RIMMER: I threw a five and a two.
LISTER: And that’s the really interesting bit?
RIMMER: Well it was interesting to me, it got me into Irkutsk.
Ok all - looking for some Venture Capital to fund my screen play for Cribbage - Rise of the Heels -
Story of an adventurous player chasing the asspeg of an opponent attempting to make a delivery of His Nobs to a mysterious oppenent. Only to find the heels belongs to a tranny - and ends up losing and receiving his Nobs rather than the intended Delivery.
Next Project - Match Game 69 the Movie. The real story of Charles Nelson Reilly and Brett Somers - and why Gene Rayburn was always smiling.
Was already made into a film which was alright.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0088930/
I think someone has the film rights to Monopoly as well.
http://www.cinematical.com/2007/08/06/ridley-scott-talks-monopoly-movie/
There we go. Directed by Ridley Scott. I can see it now, we start with the reflection of a city in the pupil of an eye, a city made entirely of red and green plastic houses.
Lots of movies about wars, real ones or imaginary ones in the future or in fantasy realms, have been made. So to make a war movie about the kind of global war that a game of Risk represents doesn't really involve making a strange kind of movie. For that matter, Dungeons and Dragons and Magic: the Gathering have been used as the basis for novels, so clearly these games could easily be brought to the silver screen.
Every game of Risk I've ever played ended up as a three-player stalemate, until one of the players got so bored with playing it they'd intentionally throw the game. As soon as one player started to get large, the other two would gang up on him and whittle him back down to size, and in that process one of the others got to be the big guy who was then the next target.
Feel free to use that description as the synopsis for the movie...
"Sony Pictures Entertainment has acquired the rights to produce a movie based on Hasbro's classic strategy boardgame Risk, offering the delicious possibility that the company might follow it up with Ludo: The Motion Picture and Mahjong: Tiles of Destiny."
Obviously, you don't watch anime, do you? To whit, I will point you to the recently concluded "Saki", 25 episodes about a bunch of high-school students trying to win a place in the National Mahjong Tournament.
And there's more... much, much more... ^_^ including the odd "Where Seagulls Cry" which is a mix of Cluedo and Chess.
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