Woman rings cops to decry daughter's superior BJ skills

The local paper covering Findlay, Ohio, has secured its place in journalistic history by printing a brief report of a woman who rang cops to complain that her daughter boasted superior oral relief skills. TheCourier.com explained on Monday: "A woman called the police early Saturday morning during an argument with her husband …

[James 55]

"Ah, Findlay: it's our kind of town."

Sounds like my town

[LaeMi Qian]

Don't worry Ma'am...

...we'll have several officers out to your house immediately.

(Sorry, couldn't resist)

[Code Monkey]

"Ah, Findlay: it's our kind of town."

That's my holidays sorted for next year then!

[Rich Harding]

Not Surprised

I mean I can imagine being told that wouldn't go down too well

[ElReg!comments!Pierre]

So...

Who was best in the end? Surely the police investigated this case properly?

Also, pics or etc.

And playmobil.

[Grease Monkey]

@Rich Harding

Surely not. By the sounds of it she went down very well indeed.

[4HiMarks]

I volunteer

to be a totally impartial judge.

Paris, you have to ask?

[OmniCitadel]

This requires photos

or it didn't happen... Perhaps the daughter had fewer teeth to get in the way.

[Anonymous Coward]

nice

nicccccce......

[Anonymous Coward]

@Rich Harding

Rather, the problem was that she didn't go down too well.

[Daniel 4]

Damn straight!

'One wrote: "I subscribe to The Courier but will cancel if the public record is going to be filled with details of multiple female family members servicing the male of the house."'

Would it have been any better if it had been the man's stepson, I wonder?

-d

P.S. Is it Friday yet?

[Anonymous Coward]

Old news

Was it Mia Farrow on the phone?

[Anonymous John]

Well,

that's this week's Playmobil reconstruction sorted.

[Anonymous Coward]

Sounds more like the weekly Reg Pub meeting?

This sounds more like the regularly weekly Pub meeting by The Reg members...

[Anonymous Coward]

His pubic

is all over him

[N2]

Playmobil re-enactment

of the scene of crime, please

[Liam Johnson]

Title?

He was obviously impressed by the depth of affection shown by his step daughter. I can see why his wife would be all choked up about this and need to call the cops before she could get here head around it again.

[Anonymous Coward]

I wish to protest

I wish to protest about the quality of this article, it blows.

Sorry.

[Anonymous Coward]

Oh really, c'mon...

... this story sucks...

[Anonymous Coward]

About that legless woman

which of the two meanings of the word are we dealing with here? One of them makes the story much more juicy...

[James O'Brien]

@LaeMi Qian

Are you sure it wasnt the whole force?

[Hardcastle]

Well h3ll, that blows...

That's it, it's time to put these two women to the test and see who is indeed better at polishing helmets. I'll be the judge of that as well.

Paris, because she also needs to be put to the test.

[Number6]

Wrong word order

'One wrote: "I subscribe to The Courier but will cancel if the public record is going to be filled with details of multiple female family members servicing the male of the house."'

Surely that should be "multiple females in the family servicing the male member" ?

[Chris Bradshaw]

Perhaps

Perhaps, as a conciliatory gesture, the daughter could show her mother her technique, some of her tricks. It might improve the entire family situation :-)

[Anonymous Coward]

To quote Bart Simpson

"I didn't think it was physically possible, but this both sucks and blows."

[Ascylto]

It's an event now

She'd obviously seen the London Olympics logo.

[Winkypop]

Natural selection?

Survival of the suckest?

[Marvin the Martian]

I reject your reality and substitute my own.

I wonder that the irate subscribers thought, not reading about depravity in their paper will make their city (well, dump, really) a nicer place?

[Mark 140]

Yours, disgusted

I subscribe to The Register but will cancel if the public record is going to be filled with details of multiple female family members servicing the male of the house.

Can it be friday yet? Please?

[Anonymous Coward]

this story

leaves a nasty taste in the mouth

[Ted Treen]

Continued...

...on Page 69?

Mine's the one with a copy of Private Eye in the pocket...

[Snert Lee]

travel report

Been there. Met some locals. Sounds about par for the course.

[Jason Togneri]

@ Liam Johnson

"I can see why his wife would be all choked up"

As far as I can tell from the article, the wife and step-daughter were both choked up at some point.

[Sceptical Bastard]

In Norfolk...

... they'd read this and wonder why it was a big deal.

(Cue outraged letters from Naarge...)

[bob-k]

Findlay, been there

Findlay is the hometown of Ben Rothlesberger, the Quarterback of the Super Bowl Champion Pittsburgh Steelers. (Yeah, that's football... the sport with the non-spherical ball that hits peoples foot just 7 times per game.)