Truth
"Or the end of the world is so near that karma has decided to clear the backlog of crap lives."
*Now* everything starts to make sense !
BOFH: The stupidity criticality
"I just don't understand him!" the PFY snaps. "Yes, well, you've got to remember we’re talking about a new Boss, so we're really looking at one of three types of people," I reply. "A - a grizzled professional who's seen and endured the stupidity of users. B - an idiot with no idea who just keeps his head down and waits till …
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Friday 30th October 2009 12:34 GMT Jeroen Braamhaar
He's baaaaaaaaack .... and he's got a portable bulk eraser!
Aaaahh ..... good to see the BOFH back in fine form, eliminating managerial stupidity one airtight conference room at a time!
Good thing I put my coffee down BEFORE I started reading though ... or I'd really have needed that new keyboard.
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Friday 30th October 2009 12:53 GMT amanfromMars 1
A Brave and Boldly Going Act of Mercy to Badgers and Assorted Miscreants
An Übermensch Class Act, Simon. And an Attractive and Viable Template for Useless Toadies and SQLing Piglets with their Snouts in the Trough. COPoisoning to Relieve the Climate of Stinking Rank Airheads ....... Wastes of Time and Space. :-)
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Friday 30th October 2009 14:12 GMT Anonymous Coward
Pedant...
"N= IQ x BS^2 x IQ x bS^S"
blind Stupidity to the power of Stupidity... Now that's an enormous number but doesn't correlate with the previous equasions; and it implies a third stupid party, which has not been introduced.
Don't get me wrong, I'm sure there are plenty of spare Stupids around, but I think you might have meant bS^2 ???
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Friday 30th October 2009 15:03 GMT Linda Chapman
I Work For B's
I was having a miserable morning with yet more idiot users requests (can't we get free software to do this?) when, OH JOY, a new BOFH. It's all clear to me now. Management is a bunch of type B's--any user idea, no matter how weird or nonsensical, has to be much better than anything I, with several degrees and twenty years of experience, could ever come up with. Thank you, Simon, for bringing a smile to my face and saving my users from bloodshed this morning.
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Friday 30th October 2009 15:03 GMT Jesthar
Sounds pretty much like where I work...
...except in our case the 'working party' in question is not just the one, but several, and are not merely ignoreable 'advisors' to the respective Departments, but *in charge* of them. And the worst one of all is the one running the whole Company. The whole mission statement, vision and values stuff is so true, and they never seem to twig we just laugh at that stuff, then ignore it and get on as best we can despite their constant meddling with things they just don't understand...
...we either need a 'buy executive management a clue' fund, or a fourth floor secure conference room...
...and we also need a 'hatchet' or 'going postal' icon of some kind. Excep that post isn't really going anywhere much at te moment, is it? ;)
*is counting down the hours to freeeeedom - can you tell?*
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Friday 30th October 2009 15:43 GMT Rob
Not impressed
We have 'working parties' about 'working parties' and we don't have enough conference rooms, the one I can seal tight will be booked by me for the rest of the year at this rate and it's going to cost me a fortune in Diesel for the generator.
Need another alternative to the gassing Simon ;)
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Friday 30th October 2009 22:18 GMT Anonymous Coward
He's mellowing
I thought everybody knows, not only to you direct the generator exhaust through the room, but you route the power through the table (and make sure the chairs are earthed. If the BOFH has taught us anything, there is no kill like overkill.
Not to mention when dealing with plant life, you just cannot rely on displacing the oxygen.
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Monday 9th November 2009 03:43 GMT John Tserkezis
Ahh, it's all so clear now.
N= IQ x BS^2 x IQ x bS^S
I used to think I was surrounded by idiots.
After I was a little older and a little wiser - I *knew* I was surrounded by idots.
Today I have an mathamatical equasion that explains it.
How this helps me in the future, I have no idea-
Other than knowing that I'll still be surrounded by idiots.
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Monday 9th November 2009 23:30 GMT Phillip Bicknell
@ IT Dogs Boy and Chris T
FM200 isn't toxic at the 6.8% concentration (from memory) that is used for surface fires in computer rooms. (Yep, seems I'm about right, see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1,1,1,2,3,3,3-Heptafluoropropane)
The argon(ite) or Inergen system also intends to reduce the O2 levels to those that don't sustain (surface) fires, but can just sustain life. I wouldn't try to sabotage a 150 bar (again, uncertain memory) system, and I was around dodgy cylinders a bit.
I used to encounter lots of people who were told that both these and their predecessor Halon 1301, were toxic, etc, (most were security guards, though) - none of them were at normal extinguishing concentrations. It's their decomposition products and those of the fire, or a cylinder leaking in a small space like a cylinder store that's a risk.
The noise and fogging of discharge aren't nice, but are quite survivable. The loose materials from poor housekeeping are messy too.
We had one consultant that asked us for details of a system that actually put out a fire - we couldn't find one - they were all Xmas, faulty air-con, sackings, etc. That's partly why I left the industry after 10 years - a Vesda or Hart system, with phased shutdown and dry-pipe sprinklers for major back-up, is pretty much all that modern kit needs.
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Biting the hand that feeds IT
