back to article Microsoft in Bing jingle kiddie vid outrage

Microsoft may well find itself sharing the dock* in The Hague with Radovan Karadzic on a crimes against humanity rap after unleashing a "terrifying" video punting its Bing search thing: What we have here are "400 6th graders from Keith Valley Middle School in Horsham, PA" interpreting Bing Goes the Internet by Jonathan …


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  1. Tzael


    Aww c'mon, that wasn't so bad!

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Down

    apathy and equal guilt

    For the composer... he wrote it afterall so I'm afraid that he is up against the wall long before any of the marketing bods who simply thought "add kids = marketing campaign".

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    %=) letters and digits

    yo el reg, imma let you finish, but first imma checking in to the nearest psyc ward.

    you owe me a new pair of eyeballs!

  4. Will Godfrey Silver badge

    Not a chance

    There is no way I'll get anywhere near seeing the video. I like to think of myself as a musician, and suicide is simply not on my agenda.

  5. Nate Phillips
    Jobs Horns

    Don't blame the composer...

    ...looks like he was trying to do something creative with his time....over 200 songs in an equal number of days? Impressive, if only for the longevity and perseverance.

    But the school children? That's just sad. I'm afraid there's a chunk of the next generation who should be entirely discounted now. Baby Boomers, Gen X, Gen Y/Why, and now Gen Bing?

    Hopefully my daughter is young enough to be counted amongst the generation-after-next....

  6. Anonymous Coward


    The machine that goes bing!!!!!.

  7. Anonymous Coward


    I feel sick.

    Could I manage to *never* buy another microsoft product ever?

    How do they manage to reduce stuff to something that should be flushed down the toilet?

    I'm certainly not going anywhere near "bing" --- but then, I wasn't anyway.

  8. J 3


    I think I just vomited a little here.

    What's with MS and bad ads, dammit... The song itself is OK, chorus that sticks to the head (yuck) and all that, for a marketing thing. The MS marketing team just needed to throw in some puppies in there to make it complete.

    (have to say though that there's a funny ad, involving puppies (rental puppies, more specifically), for some alcoholic beverage showing on TV here in the US these days, so it can be done.)

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Vogon Poetry is still worse...


  10. Sarah Baucom
    Thumb Down

    Ad-free zone

    So much for schools being ad-free zones. Companies have known for years that college students are willing to be walking billboards if they just give out free shirts, but I don't think that kind of thing should be going on in elementary schools.

  11. Dana W
    Thumb Down


    Microsoft = Just don't get it.

  12. Paul_Murphy
    Paris Hilton


    Can't the americans pronounce the letter 't' ?

    Silly cunns*.

    PH - a not so silly cunn*??

    *I was going to use idios, but it didn't seem to work as well.

  13. James Butler

    Negligent Politicians

    So it's okay for kids to be indoctrinated into the Bing culture? Where are the outraged Republicans on this one?!? I want equal time to indoctrinate the kids into the Google culture! Where's my Google-tune?!?

  14. Anonymous Coward

    Oh No


  15. steve 124

    Nooes! mai ize hurts

    That was atrocious. It took so long for my brain to process how absolutely bad the first video was that I was half-way through the 2nd one before I realized the damage this did (to me and possibly my hard drive). Some things can not be unseen. I can haz mai 2 minutes back?

  16. SisterClamp

    Oh Christ!

    It's five-thirty in the morning as I'm writing this and I already need a stiff alcoholic infusion. First on my eyes to burn them forever, then ingested to keep the repression going.

  17. William Andrews
    Gates Horns


    All of these children, these poor children, have been swayed by the populace of Windows users and the puppet masters that control them; they know no better, have not been taught that maybe there are other alternatives? This school advertises "Bing" becomes Microsoft pays them, no other. I sit in sorrow for these children, who sing in ignorance, paying no reverence to that of knowledge and understanding. I spit on the grave of the educators of those children's sincerity and love of knowledge and openness.


  18. Jason Yau


    Sums this up perfectly.

  19. Joe K

    Lasted 20 seconds....

    ...and never even dared try the 2nd video.


  20. Cameron Colley

    Like the pusher at the gates*.

    Microsoft likes to get them young.

    *Yes, I am aware that "drug pushers" are regarded as , at least semi, mythical creatures.

  21. Get the puck outa here

    Dear Lord please make them stop!

    Next, Microsoft will bring back the dancing baby to do a "Bing goes the internet" dance.

  22. Piro


    Oh dear...

    I think I'll take the advice and drink now

  23. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    My ears / ears!

  24. James 5


    "Bing is a Scots word meaning to heap or pile up but it is also used to describe a slag heap."

    Why are these kids getting excited about a slag heap?

  25. Anonymous Coward

    Surely it's:

    Borg, borg ... borg goes the internet!

    Borg, borg ... borg goes the internet!

    Borg, borg ... borg goes the internet!

    Borg, borg ... borg goes the internet!

    Borg, borg ... borg goes the internet!

    Borg, borg ... borg goes the internet!

    Borg, borg ... borg goes the internet!

    Ad infinitum.

  26. Anonymous Coward

    How do you 'not turn up'?

    I was wondering how since Radovan Karadzic is in custody, how can it be possible to 'not turn up'?

  27. Ivor

    other hand

    er, that makes three hands.

  28. TimeMaster T
    Thumb Up


    My eyes were spared thanks to Flashblock!

  29. Fred Flintstone Gold badge

    But think of the children..

    .. oh, wait, umm..

    The flasher Mac, please

  30. This post has been deleted by its author

  31. Lupus
    IT Angle


    Even after watching that... 'video', I still don't know what Bing *is*.

  32. Mage Silver badge

    Flash block

    I didn't watch.

  33. peyton?

    anyone else notice

    In the hallway scene, the litter all over the floor??

    On a bright note, at least they seem fairly uncoordinated, so hopefully they haven't spent too much valuable classroom time on their dance to Dear Leader - woops I mean Bing. On the other hand, some of those kids in back look fairly miserable. I think mental cruelty charges could be warranted.

  34. tom 24

    And I just got out of therapy...

    It took me all this time to recover from the original song. Why did I click? Why?

    I may have to start drinking early. Well, earlier than usual.

  35. Christopher Martin

    Oh god

    I just threw up in my mouth a little.

  36. da_fish27


    Poor kids, getting "stupidified" like this already in their age?

  37. Anonymous Coward

    Bing Bing

    I move away from the mic to breathe in.

  38. Lee Dowling Silver badge


    Eurk, this is exactly why I hate the commercialisation of schools in the UK (aka Academies). Every kid is wearing an Office or Bing t-shirt - that suggests it's been pre-planned in concert with MS to some degree, rather then a spontaneous student idea - what sort of kickback did the school get for doing that?

    The kids won't care (Office will be dead by the time they get into the workplace proper, or at least an ageing relic of some older computing paradigm - like saying "BBC Micro" to me now), but that's quite horrible to witness the branding of any company plastered over a school like that. Kids already do that to themselves enough by wanting to paint pictures of their Nike's or do every dance lesson to a top-10 single.

    Once worked in a school/Academy that was sponsored by about ten companies - overnight the website had more ads and links and sponsor "news" than anything to do with the school itself (one company even sponsored a chicken coop, complete with chickens, inside the school grounds).

    Damn, I argued against setting Google as the default start page in Firefox, but this is just crass.

  39. Anonymous Coward

    These kids need jailed

    Nowhere near as good as them Filipino prisoners dancing to Michael Jackson's Thriller.

  40. Big-nosed Pengie
    Gates Horns


    Microshaft - is there anything they can't fuck up?

  41. wsm

    Well, I think...

    Everyone is taking this Internet thing too seriously. The kids will recover.

    BTW, I thing the second video was much larger on the creepiness scale. I did have to watch that on Halloween!

  42. Majid

    Great stuff.

    Microsoft knows how to play the advertisement game.Take something bad, and take it to the extreme. Get exposure with it. Follow up on it. Get exposure again.

    Good marketing campaign. cost them almost nothing for maximum exposure. Even El-Reg falls for it (twice).

    There is no such thing as bad publicity!

  43. The Mysterious Panda

    I, for one

    ...welcome our Bing-dancing overlords.

  44. W. Easton
    Gates Horns

    How did you miss this

    ^ Doesn't appear to be crying to much about it.

  45. Boris the Cockroach Silver badge

    I spent

    days working out howto get flash working on a Linux X_64 OS running a 64 bit version of firefox

    A true story of grit and determination and having to endure 1000's of geeks sneering

    "hahaha search the forum luser" only to have a 1000 messages like that turn up in my quest for the right line of text that will enable me to watch flash on my linux box.

    Then I watched the first vid........... and thought "Why the f*** did I bother?"

    <<<booking himself in for some therapy

  46. Anonymous Coward

    Just goes to show...

    ... that Americans will whore themselves and their children for an easy buck. The pro Capitalist indoctrination always starts early in the US.

  47. Cantankerous Old Buzzard
    Big Brother


    Some outraged parents will take action against this school.

  48. vastgene

    Bing = acronym





  49. Lotus 80
    Jobs Horns

    Is the next video...

    A clip of the same kids enacting the Two Minutes' Hate against images of Steve Jobs and MacBook Pros?

  50. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Has it Just Been Too Long?

    Have we just got used to it? Is "Google" also a bloody silly name for an internet search site?

    Yahoo always was. I guess we got used to Google, although its a pity they didn't call it Giggle. Imagine: "I don't know, I'll have to Giggle for it...".

    Bing (unless followed by Crosby) is just puerile.

    Like My Documents and My Little Pony.

    Oh, sorry, I suppose the last one wasn't microsoft.

  51. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    There Goes the Neighbourhood

    Bing Bing, There goes the In'ernet

    There, there, there goes the neighbourhood.

    MS has, single-songedly *ensured* that I never use their bing thing

  52. Anonymous Coward

    If ...

    Americans really want to instill the exo-Yank citizenry of Earth with the confidence that the wonders of free wheeling capitalism do not lead to amoral witlessness, guaranteed to eventually consume your own young -- allowing the manipulation of children as part of someone's vision of global strategy hardly aids your cause, guys and gals of the quinquagesimally-starred flag.

    C'mon, where's the moral outrage? Do you think they'd dare try this in Europe?

  53. Keith T
    Dead Vulture

    The worst commercials are the ones you watch, not the ones you do

    Come on, TheRegister website is funded by advertising.

    And why would kids, or anyone else, be brain washed by performing in an ad?

    It is watching the ad that is the risk.

    I trust the students or school were adequately compensated for their participation.

  54. Ole Juul

    Sue the school

    I think there are a lot of jurisdictions where this would be illegal. Other companies wanting to sell various products could demand equal time with the children. If that sort of thing ever happened at my school, I'd be taking my kid out of there and suing the school board.

  55. Anonymous Coward
    Big Brother

    Mein Binguberfuhrer

    ' It’s kinda creepy. But on the other-other hand, the kids do look damn happy. So… oh well?" '

    which is probably what right-minded Germans said about the Hitler-Jugend in the late '30s.

    Why? Because no commentary should pass without at least one Hitler reference.

  56. Forename Surname

    @Boris the Cockroach

    Wow, you suck at TEH COMPUTAR. Either get a distro that holds your hand and whipsers sweet nothings, or learn to use a search engine for easy step by step instructions. I hear that "Bing" is the best thing since combra-filled underpants, for example..

  57. Outcast

    Anyone else

    had to Google what bing was ?

  58. Anonymous Coward


    A few one armed salutes, a natty chant and you have yourself a 21st C. "Hitler Youth" movement!

    Nice! Nothing like brainwashing young kids into corporate drivel from one of the most influential corps in the US!

  59. Tails

    So bad..

    That I opted to watch Rick Astley BY CHOICE!

  60. mittfh
    Gates Horns

    Conspiracy theory

    The school computers looked a little dated - hell, they were still using CRTs! As for the routine - judging by the lyrics on the board, they'd probably had one lesson (if that) to both rehearse and film it. Including the scene in the corridor outside the classroom. By the time you've heard that infuriating song once, you should be intimately familiar with the chorus.

    I bet it was a deal to grab themselves some decent hardware (and Win 7) at a discount...

    I'm disappointed though that it appears that none of them have had the shrewd economic sense to flog the free T-shirts on E-Bay yet...

    (I would try and find a Google-themed song for balance, but YouTube is down for maintenance atm...)

  61. arran

    am I the only one

    thats worried about Microsoft and their obsession with small children recently?

  62. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Steve Job's daughter?

    45 seconds in, just left of center (centre if you're reading this in USA) there's a bored looking plump girl who appears to have opted out (still got the freebie T-shirt though) - Full marks!

  63. Lord Lien
    Paris Hilton

    Pass the...

    .. vomit bag please.

    Paris, because she likes to Bing.... & even video herself being Binging....

  64. BertHartmann
    Jobs Horns

    They got what they wanted

    Ok so I think MS did what they sought out to do which is to get more eyes on their crap. At the end of the day this is a hot post and it is going to draw in more and more users to take a look. Great use of viral marketing. And no, I do not like MS in the least bit.

  65. Dale Richards


    I must admit, when Bing first launched, I decided to try it, and instinctively just typed "bing" into Google in order to find it.

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