"those of you who haven't tried it (which is probably 99% of the posters) should just shut up."
So you're banning us from discussing the shortcomings of an idea unless we've tried it for ourselves? Why can't we criticise the obvious failings in this product - namely, it's a triumph of style over substance, as is pretty much always the case with Apple products.
For example, I can compare the Magic Mouse (as described in Apple's to my own mouse of choice, the Logitech MX Revolution (example pics here: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Logitech-Revolution-Wireless-Laser-Mouse/dp/B000JMJYBU).
1) Price: The MXR is available at about the same price as the Magic Mouse (about £50) so no real issues here.
2) Buttons. As much as Apple want to deny it, BUTTONS ARE USEFUL. The MXR lets you map its buttons to whatever function you like. For example, if I want to see all my windows in Win7, I just press the little button above the scrollwheel and then I can scroll through them. Pretend that it's easier to squidge your fingers in some 'gesture' to achieve the same thing if you like, but you'll be the one who ends up with RSI.
3) Feedback. When it comes to scrolling, it is sometimes useful to get felt feedback from a ratcheted scrollwheel. There's no point in arguing about it - it just is. Other times, you might want to scroll freely. The MXR allows both, the Magic Mouse doesn't. With Apple, as always, you get no choice.
4) "Learning". Most of us don't want to have to "learn" how to use an Apple mouse - we already know how to use a mouse, and we just want one that meets our needs. Many people gently rest their fingers on the mouse in between clicks. That works fine when the mouse has buttons, but with the Magic Mouse you're going to need to "unlearn" that habit unless you want a load of false-positive clicks... Call me a cynic, but that's not my definition of "just works".
Do I need to use a Magic Mouse to know these things? No. I can read Apple's product info (http://www.apple.com/uk/magicmouse/), and that is sufficient to gather the necessary information on the Magic Mouse.