These are...
Just so wrong.
On so many levels just wrong!
I think If I tried to taste one of those my mouth would reject me.
We're almost delighted this crisp October Friday to announce the launch of the El Reg "Comment of the Week" slot, in which the crème de la crème of the previous seven days' turdspurts and shoutpourings will be showcased for the reading pleasure of you, our beloved commentards. The selection will, of course, be a matter for the …
I would like to find out more about this product, but there is no way in hell that I'm typing "Liquid Filled Camel Balls" in to Google whilst I'm at work!
While we're here, can I request that box cover as a new comment icon? This is the nearest I could find, although the alt text "Suck On This" is quite apt.
Additional: It turns out that the spell-checker bundled with Google Chrome which activates on comment boxes like this, doesn't know the word "Google". Not self-aware quite yet then.
Don't count on it. 20+ years ago, a Danish upstart in the candy business marketed their candy as "Seagull droppings", "dog farts", "Sewer sludge", "Earwax", "Full diapers", etc. And a sample bag of the whole collection, obviously, "the dump".
An enormous markerting success which made the owner millions by the time he sold it off. In reality, what they produced was of course much the same as everyone else.
God Bless the British Isles
The Great British Isles Dream
Take a look at my girlfriend
She's the only one I got
Not much of a girlfriend
Never seem to get a lot
Take a jumbo across the water
Like to see the British Isles
See the girls in Caledonia
I'm hoping its going to come true
But there's not a lot I can do
Could we have kippers for breakfast
Mummy dear, mummy dear
They got to have 'em in Dublin
'Cause everyone's a millionaire
I'm a winner, I'm a sinner
Do you want my autograph
I'm a loser, what a joker
I'm playing my jokes upon you
While there's nothing better to do
Don't you look at my girlfriend
She's the only one I got
Not much of a girlfriend
Never seem to get a lot
Take a jumbo cross the water
Like to see the British Isles
See the girls in Caledonia
I'm hoping its going to come true
But theres not a lot I can do
What stakes!
On the one hand, when commentards become overexcited, the Moderatrix will scold, chastise or castrate, individually or collectively, as appropriate. On the other, Lester delicately dangles his delicious juicy camel bollocks on the tips of our tongues - though we all know only one will get to nibble.
It will be a melee. I, for one, salute not only future winners, but those who die trying.
...sully the gentle art of anonymous commentary with filthy lucre (and gonads)? The art of the comment cannot be bought and sold, like common journalism. A handful of silver (or gonads) might buy you column-inches and gold may rent you a whole tabloid of colour supplements, but no amount of treasure (or heaping pile of gonads) can make the smallest part of a downpayment on good anonymous commentary.
A good comment is born from the sweaty consummation of the union between inspiration and opportunity. A panting, frantic, ecstatic culmination followed by a shameful period of self loathing and recrimination.
No, it takes balls to bring forth a good comment and no box of gonads can possibly replace that.
Yours, Anon (A commenter)
[Please, sirs and madams, may I be considered for FoTW. Thank you. ]
The same 15 comments posted over and over again by dozens of commenttards. Modified only slightly from the last time that comment was posted. The same pointless memes, horribly rude expressions of personal and cultural predjudice. The same circular arguments repeated ad nauseam. Somehow despite all of that, you aren't totally jaded and inured to all the pointless blithering? You can extract amusement from this sorry lot? My ghast is well and truly flabbered.
That either makes you either the single most patient human being alive or...
...Sarah...are you an alien?
We should be told.
... is this going to be written and presented in the same style as Robin Lettice's weekly comments section, only with added camel balls and one moderatrix's rapist-wit??
The old weekly comments roundup used to be the highlight of my week* - and while these figures may not be accurate, or based on anything concrete, I'd say when you stopped doing that roundup, commentard turd-spurts rose 59%, and intelligent/witty comments declined 33%.
Maybe commentards of the week who make it to the roundup can have a golden icon with the dangly camel balls appear by default next to their names, like el-reg staff get their own vulture logo...
* ok, not the highlight of the week, but a nice finish to a long, long week in IT
Copter icon - as I assume you will not be using Royal Mail to deliver your juicy balls
Would this be the same Moderatrix who is the epitome of style and sophistication, whose beauty and grace is matched only by her incisive wit, enviable intelligence and saintly patience, the ray of sunlight that occasionally shines through the dull and dreary comments section? I say this because it's true and needs to be said and not because I want put some camel balls in my mouth.
Totally agree with acronym for CoTW. is inappropriate te for younger readers of El'Reg readers.
Can I Suggest. "James Blunt" of The Week" for comments that are IT inoffensive, middle-of-the-road, generally dull and not likely to make readers evacute coffee on their monitors.
Regards
Simon Salmon-Simpleton
Personally, I think that comment should win as "funniest within the shortest possible amount of text". Quality.
However, I must not fail to compliment the ever alert El Reg team for finding this stuff. How do you actually get any work done? :-). It's exactly this orthogonal approach to IT that makes people with a twisted sense of humour like me come back (and the good IT stories, of course :-)).
Oooh, where can I get my hands on some of these Camel Balls? I'd so love to go to and see one of my clients who happens to have an office full of women and ask them if they want to suck on my balls.
Anon because I'm worried my wife'll read this and get the wrong idea and releave me of my balls.