Burger King cooks up Windows 7 Whopper

Vegetarians and health freaks look away now, because Burger King has launched a stomach-churning Windows 7-themed Whopper. Burger King Whopper 7 Burger King's Windows 7 Whopper is on sale in Japan The software-sponsored sandwich is filled with not one, not two, but an unbelievable seven meat patties. The burger went on …

[Jelliphiish]

serving suggestion

looks pretty but the consequences will kill you.

mines the one with the Pepto in thepocket.

[mfraz]

WIndows 7 whopper

Should have a health warning on it as it would probably contain a lot of bugs, worms, viruses etc.

[Hardcastle]

Go Meat!

H311 yeah, hook a brutha up, playa! Why limit this all-beef flame-broiled pleasure to Japan when there are hungry dudes in Kansas just willing to smash one of these down? On the other hand, how about the Ubuntu 9.10 Whomper with 10 beef and 9 cheese built in... Now that would be pretty damn tasty.

Paris, because we know full well her fondness for a big ol' hit of beef...

[BigSpoon0]

meat patties

'meat patties' - Am I the only person who finds that term a little... disturbing?

[Anonymous Coward]

Hmm..

DO WANT

[Jamie Kitson]

Literally

My colleague said he reckoned he'd BSOD if he ate one of those.

I love the way the site loads so slowly that you can't tell when the tower might end.

[Anon the mouse]

Bring it here

They should bring that to the UK, might get more than 1 person in the place then.

[Geoff Campbell]

See, that's why I love Microsoft....

....you'd never get Apple thinking like that :-)

[Anonymous Coward]

Mmm...seven burgers.

I can feel my arteries screaming for animal fat now. How much to get to Japan?

[Frostbite]

Which one?

@Jelliphiish - (The first posting from Jelliphiish)

Are you talking about the Burger or the Operating System?

[Mathew White]

Standard Microsoft...

Thats what i call bloatware.

[Lionel Baden]

OMG !!!

I WANT I WANT I WANT I WANT I WANT I WANT I WANT I WANT I WANT I WANT I WANT I WANT I WANT I WANT I WANT I WANT I WANT I WANT I WANT I WANT I WANT I WANT I WANT I WANT

This satisfies the Canivore in me !!!!!!

Im printing this off and as soon as my pay comes in im marching to the nearest BK and see'ing if they are going to be a good sport !!!

[Dave Murray]

Give me the meat!

Why only Japan? This monster would sell a bomb in Glasgow, more if they deep fried it!

@Jelliphiish: Yeah so does most things but at least I can enjoy one of these, unlike most so called healty food.

[Anonymous Coward]

Yes please

I want one. What more can I say? I certainly want one more than I want Windows 7.

Paris, 'cos she likes manly meat.

[Anonymous Coward]

I'm lovin' it

No, seriously, I want one.

Now.

[Adam Salisbury]

"That's a f*cking good burger"

I want one, unimaginable cardiovascular consequences be damned! Mind you, if BK's tagline is 'Have it your way' then you should be able to print the poster off, take it to your local BK and demand they make you one!!

Might not work here in Blighty but surely out in Kansas you could have them make you one on pain of lawsuit!

[Anonymous Coward]

How apt

Looks tasty to begin with but will soon have you vomiting as it's still the same shit as before, only more of it.

[Joseph Haig]

Bleah

That looks bloated.

Grenade icon for the 'Mr Creosote' effect.

[Frumious Bandersnatch]

more on the Japanese

mentions "13cm of American-sized buns". Was wondering if it was a subtle dig at American largeness, but 13cm "buns" would be abnormally small (unless you work for Ralph Lauren, I suppose). So I guess it's not a paradoy, though why they think largeness (or Win7, for that matter) is a selling point, I've no idea.

re: meat patties, the ad actually says "beef patties"... so not quite as disgusting-sounding. Shame that the picture does that job all by itself.

PS this is far from the only strange re-imagining of western food out there. Pizza with mashed potatoes comes to mind as one of the odder dishes I've come across...

[Filippo]

Irony

I take it that FAT is still widespread, yes?

[shane fitzgerald]

All that meat will block your arteries....

.....and therefore result in the blue scream of death.

[Jason Togneri]

@ meat patties

Well, technically they're made of beef, so I suppose you could call them "cow patties"...

[Dave 32]

Before lunch

Why, oh why, did I have to see this right before lunch?

Dave

P.S. Just think what we have to look forward to when Windows 23 ships!

P.P.S. Mine's the one with the multiple, oversized, insulated pockets.

[Richard 102]

Wow

Lucky they didn't think of this for Windows 2000.

Look, I get a jones for a Bk cheeseburger now and then, but dayumm! Al Sharpton couldn't finish that thing.

[pisquee]

Win2K

Where was the Windows 2000 BK Whopper?!

[Pitpat]

Lets hope the similarities end with the number 7!

The Windows 7 burger looks quite difficult to install. I am quessing it will cause sluggish system opperation for the first 12 hours and cause long delays to day to day opperations while the user tries to get rid of it! I just hope Windows 7 Software doesn't exibit the same problems!

[KB 1]

How about an Apple instead?

Anyone else think McDonald's missed a trick by not bringing out a limited edition Snow Leopard burger at the same time?

Leopard might be tasty, you never know.

[Player_16]

If this was in the States...

...the cues would be longer waitin' for this thing than W7.

Wash it down... ahhh,...cool and refreshing...!

[Jad]

Thats a lot of bloat

see title :)

[Dadz]

Arm and a leg

I knew that Windows 7 would cost an arm and a leg. It appears to be costing some cows their arms and legs.

[Thecowking]

Where's the bee...

Oh wait, I see it.

That is one hell of a burger.

[Peter 39]

more of what

That fact that there's more of it doesn't mean it's any better than before.

Would 7x Vista be any better than a single? No, I didn't think so.

Win 7 is just a Vista Service Pack. Even MS has admitted as much, although not for attribution.

[Anonymous Coward]

on sale in the country until 28 October.

After which time everyone who ate it will be dead and gone from either a heart attack or blocked intestine.

@Jason Togneri - shame on you making me mess up my monitor.

[Anon the mouse]

@kb1

Now I'd like to try the snow leopard burger too.

[B3vil]

Waiting for 2009 server..

I'll never go hungry again!

[slooth]

Bloatware

Windows 7 = bloatware. Just as this burger shows.

[Anonymous Coward]

Just like the BK menu...

... it looks fantastic in the photo advert ...

... but the real thing will fail to meat up to expectations...

BOOM BOOM

[Doug Glass]

As if Stevie boy ...

... hasn't been serving up his own whoppers for years.

[Mike Moyle]

Seven patties...

... So, is that one burger for every install disk, then...?

[Daemon ZOGG]

The Proof Is In The Picture...

Now we have a graphical comparison of just how much BLOAT is in M$ Windowz software..

I'm staying with Linux and FreeBSD Unix.

;)

[Kurt 5]

Needs a bit more

Maybe modify it a bit -- some cheese and bacon would be good.

http://www.aboutcolonblank.com/2008/04/02/a-whopper-with-cheese-and-bacon-and-bacon-and-bacon-and-bacon-and-bacon-and-bacon-and-bacon-and-etc/

The heart because this would definitely be Heart Healthy.

[Nathen Fredrick]

Omnomnomnom

I need that burger in my life.

Mines the grenade, as that is what my heart would become after eating that.

[Anonymous Coward]

Nah

too much green shit still

[Jonski]

Methinks

it needs more cheese.

[Marty McFly]

Ugh...

That product gives me indigestion just looking at it.

The BK burger gives me indigestion too.

[mrweekender]

Hmmm...

That burger is a just massive, greasy, bland, quick fix, that has virtually no nutritional value and would cause more problems long term than it will solve short term.

Sounds familiar.......

[jake]

I love meat.

But that is entirely too much. Remember, folks, quality always trumps quantity.

That's why I run Slackware ... and grill my own burger, when I want one.

[Olly_8]

Had it

Having worked for BK many years ago - I think I've had this for my end of night break - I may have cut out the salad as being dangerously healthy though...

For the carnivores out there, it tasted as good as it looks!

[Puck]

"It looks like you're trying to eat an unfeasibly large hamburger..."

"...would you like some help with that?"

Mine's the shellsuit with ketchup stains on it

[Llanfair]

Windows 2008 Server

I wish they do one for Microsoft Office 2010 :-)

After one of those, the grave will be much closer.

[zedenne]

me want tooooo!

please don't just let the japanese enjoy the artery clogging goodness!

[Doug Glass]

This is Not News

Balmer has been handing out giant whoppers for years.

Paris because Paris know a whopper when she sees one.

[James O'Brien]

Holy shit

I want that burger!!!

[Anonymous Coward]

Hot damn

i am in Tokyo - might go an find one of those...

[Winkypop]

Now repeat after me:

"Seven all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun"

Now, do it in Japanese:

[Martin Lyne]

Would you like..

Would you like Health Insurance with that, sir?

[Anonymous Coward]

I would suggest...

...that everyone that equates "larger" with "tastier" should visit a psychiatrist. And a dietician.

[deadlockvictim]

The priciing does not reflect Windows 7 accurately enough

To start with, the burger should come in 3 (or is it 7?) sizes depending on the needs/wants of the victim and the pricing should match. Naturally The Whopper 7 Ultimate [Uruchimato?] should have every filling that Baagaakingu can muster and should retail for nothing less than 5000 yen. The Home edition is already displayed and the Professional edition would fit in somewhere in between.

Although one can start eating it much more quickly than previous Whoppers, one may find that eating speed and the whole Whopper experience deteriorates as one progresses.

On a final note, Windows 2000 would've been a disappointment in Japan for those expecting a cow's worth of burgers, since the Japanese reckon their years since the accession of the current emperor. That being said, the Heisei emperor would've been in power for 12 years then, so it would've been a better burger, but then I suspect that Windows 2000 is anyway the better OS...

p.s. El Reg needs a 7-burger icon.

[bluesxman]

I'll get my coat...

You'll need a crash diet after eating a couple of those.

[Annihilator]

6 standard versions?

Whopper 7 Starter

Only the bun is served - no burgers. Available as a starter only

Whopper 7 Home Basic

Only available in some countries, only contains 4 burgers

Whopper 7 Home Premium

Should be enough for anyone (also available as a family pack)

Whopper 7 Professional

Similar to Whopper 7 Home Premium, it includes a virtual burger that allows you to use your old condiments

Whopper 7 Enterprise

Doesn't smell, so you can eat it in a business environment without people glaring at you

Whopper 7 Ultimate

Vastly more expensive, still has 7 burgers, but if you look really really closely you might spot a gherkin or something to make you feel better about ordering it.

Whopper 7 E (discontinued)

Same burger, but with the salad removed so that you can choose your own supplier of vegetables. No longer available as Burger King have provided the ability for you to remove the salad and install your own.

[Anonymous Coward]

I see opportunity...

Fail Blog material for sure!!

[ElNumbre]

Have it your way.

I wonder if I can print that off, walk into burger king and ask them to make it 'my way'. (Id 'install' some bacon 1.0 too).

Reminds me of the buddist who walks into Burger king and asks "Make me one with everything".

Can't see anything about a meal deal though - surely you must want fries and a drink with that?

[YumDogfood]

@AC 10:34 (I see opportunity... )

More like Fail bog.

Would you life some fiber with that?

[Yorkshirepudding]

WANT

Install Bacon v1.0 and im sold

[Anonymous Coward]

WTF

has a burger got to do with IT?

Ohh wait...

nom nom...

[Anonymous Coward]

Even those that claim to like the idea know deep down that...

...an Apple would be healthier

[Andus McCoatover]

Neat advertising.

Love it, and (at the moment) would kill for one. After reading that, I'm so hungry my stomach thinks my throat's been cut.

Having said that, what would the Vista version be like? Slow to erase itself from your system? "Hangs" when you least want it to? Probably dozens of 700meg. patties, then forever downloading PFY-supplied smeg-infected 'mayonnaise' upgrades and the price would reflect the same?

Don't get me started on the XP version.

Paris, natch - she'd swallow an X-tra P^Hthick version. Sorry to rub it in, Paris.

[Anonymous Coward]

I smell a merger.

This is an appropriate advertisement for MS, after all Windoze 7 and the Whopper have a number of things in common:

1 - They are both great to begin with but ultimately your left feeling unsatisfied.

2 - They are both overpriced

3 - If you consume too many, you will die.

4 - The product does not live up to the hype.