back to article Japanese bloke gets arsey over artificial rectum

A Japanese chap is a bit browned off after a hospital wrongly diagnosed him with rectal cancer, whipped out the offending section of digestive tract and fitted an articial replacement. According to the Mainichi Daily, the poor bloke had surgery back in March at a university hospital in western Miyazaki prefecture to remove a …


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  1. Steve Evans


    A bionic arse!

    Weapon of mass destruction!

  2. Chris Bradshaw

    Has to be said

    What an a**hole...

  3. Anonymous Coward

    Well, thats a...

    pain in the arse!

  4. Alex 32

    May I be the first to say that..

    .. this is akin to being up shit creek without a rectum..

    Mine's the one with the Plastic Fantastic in the pocket..

  5. Marky W

    To many puns...

    ...not enough time.

    Must do work. Mortgage to pay. Kids to feed. Aaaaaaaaaaarggggurglewheeeee.....

    Where *are* those dried-frog pills?

  6. May Contain Nuts

    I hope they get to the bottom of this...

    This bloke had high hopes for a career as a farting musician, but the Japanese health service rectum.

    Etc, etc...

  7. Hermes Conran

    Poor bloke,

    he really has had his ass handed to him!

  8. Scott Broukell

    Haven't they heard of biopsy !!!!

    that's another fine hole you've got me in ! ... I've got, .. in, ... you ...whatever

  9. Jay Castle
    Thumb Up

    He's lucky!

    Oftentimes, having the wrong op can be life threatening. However, in this case it's just a pain in the arse.........

  10. Hollerith 1

    I have to admire the medical scientists...

    ...who devoted their lives to the creation of an artificial rectum.

    (On a less smirking note: those who have known anyone with colon cancer know it is no joke)

  11. neb

    with two arseholes....

    just think of the amount of shit i could come out with

    i wonder if gordon brown has had his fitted yet?

  12. Tea-800

    Typical, really.

    Health service in half-arsed diagnosis shocker.

  13. Smallbrainfield

    Making this guy the butt of these jokes...

    ... is a bit out of order.

  14. Christopher Rogers

    is it not...

    Weapon of ASS destruction??

  15. cookieMonster

    Bum deal ???

    It's beer o'clock, time to go...

  16. dracnoc

    Why bother with court action?

    I'd be fecking furious enough to tear 'em a new a**hole... oh, wait...

  17. Anonymous Coward

    Cyborg Arse

    I hear Kevin Warwick is quite jealous!

    Now if they could only incorporate and intelligently link it to those fancy electronic Japanese toilets.

    Seriously: Poor chap nothing worse than when surgeons cause greater damage than the original ailment. Hope he gets his full compensation rights for that one.

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    The news paper name is mildly amusing "everyday daily" that reminds me of a shop called "fappy" because fax makes you happy.

  19. LaeMi Qian

    He got a little behind...

    ...over the weak-end.

  20. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward



  21. Jaded.In.Oregon

    I'd probably

    Blow an O-ring if I found out about that kind of mistake...... I'll get my coat...

  22. dunncha

    @ Hermes Conran

    Prize for the best pun goes to Hermes Conran

    Poor Guy

    he really has had his ass handed to him!'

    Laughed out loud to that - thank you

  23. Anonymous Coward

    the doctors must be editors...

    ...They unnecessarily replaced a colon with a semicolon.

  24. David Beeston
    Thumb Up


    Fantastic. Nearly pissed myself.

  25. El

    Wait a minute

    They have ARTIFICIAL assholes now? No wonder SCO no longer needed Darl McBride!

  26. Alan B

    That's a bummer, isn't it?

    'nuff said...

  27. Anonymous Coward


    Darn near killed 'im!

  28. MadonnaC

    Remember... (I'm dating my self with this one)

    Nixon had an Ars*h*le transplant?

    The Ars*h*le rejected him!

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  30. gerry 6

    Probe required?

    I trust the Japanese NHS will launch a probe into this.

  31. Anonymous Coward

    @Gerry 6


  32. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    Why would GB need an artificial arsehole? He's got dozens of real ones in his cabinet.

  33. Anonymous Coward
    IT Angle

    IT angle?

    This really is scraping the bottom of the odds and sods article barrel.

    On the plus side being the butt of jokes could earn him a living as the straight man in a double act.

  34. sleepy

    "It's a bum rap"

    said the hospital spokesman, "there's an obvious hole in the patient's argument".

  35. LuMan


    Do we really need all these puns to entert anus?

  36. TheRealRoland


    And her name was Eileen?

  37. alyn

    Two arseholes?

    Then I could fart in stereo. Bliss!

  38. U4eA


    ..for a new arsehole? That seems a little excessive in view of the fact there any number of a'holes in my immediate vicinty whom I would have happily donated for free.

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