BOFH: Baitin' switch

"OK, let's just take a look then," our recent office addition says, clicking on the network management tool. "Ah, there's your problem - your port is only set to 10 megabits per second, half duplex. If I just change that to auto you'll notice a short outage while your machine's network interface readjusts itself to 100 meg …

[Zebidee]

Quality

Something wrong with ebay?

[greenmantle]

classic!

'Rare as rocking horse shit'.

Simon, you owe me a new keyboard, but I have a signed blank expense claims form to take you to the pub with!

[Jon Lamb]

Brilliant

Back on top form

[alyn]

Bugger the switches - use servers

A rackfull of Proliant servers falling on you will do a lot more damage. Then you can buy the latest quad-core jobbies to replace them.

Where's my screwdriver?

[Rich Harding]

Best one in ages

LOL-funny all the way :)

[amanfromMars 1]

Free Radical Regicide ...... Right Hornery Shenanigans

BOFH for Virtual EU Presidency Detail. ....... Community Service. Who needs then a Dodgy Crooner and Hopeless Mate on a Bridge Pontificating at the Helm.

[Rick Giles]

Excellent

Top notch!

[Graham Dawson]

Oh crud...

And I was just considering applying for temp work in IT support...

[Richard Bragg]

That's more like it .

nothing fancy just plain simple BOFH.

[neb]

once upon a time...

...i was that temp and its all coming back to me

my lawyer will be in touch with the PTSD claim shortly!

[The Repulsive Monkey]

Vintage BOFH

Great to see BOFH back to his roots of bonding user self-destruction to system upgrades. If only I could get better toys by the shameless elimination of users.

[lukewarmdog]

well played

To the very end.

[Lu]

Awesome!!!

see title

[Duckorange]

BofH: Final Destination

Right from the first paragraph I knew poor, dead Graham would end the tale as a red, sticky, still-twitching pile of dismembered body parts, barely identifiable as human amid the metallic carnage.

The joy was in the journey.

Sorry, I haven't put anybody off their lunch, have I?

[Ian Ferguson]

Best one in a long time

If it gives me evil ideas for work, it's a good BOFH :)

[K]

BoFH rides again!

only 1 word needed - AWESOME!

[bmuckknock]

Old times

That is traditional BOFH

[Chris Beattie]

Good one!

Simon, you are my hero!

[Eldnah]

Let's hope poor Graham survives ...

... after all, the lad caught on pretty quick. And he knows his stuff. Now, if he's sent back to the temp agency with a "Well Done!", when he's out of traction he might be hired into other departments --- said departments none the wiser that a spy is in their midst. As a temp he'll doubtless see the insides of IT departments at other firms ... the tentacles of the BOFH reaching far and deep.

[Nic Brough 1]

Nice

I was just looking for a new way to get rid of a bean counter. I hadn't thought of encouraging them to investigate the hardware racks by fiddling with connectivity. It'll work though - they always yell when the pron^H^H^H^H online data feed slows down.

<reaches for screwdriver>

[Craig 28]

Indeed it is traditional BOFH

None of this implied impending violence we've had so much of at the end of the recent BOFHs, in this one someone actually *gets* it. The combination with the system upgrades is just the icing on the cake.

The strength of BOFH for me is where you know that violence *has* happened, not that it is *probably going to* happen.

[Darkside]

Blood sports

Graham was given a sporting chance. They told him what was going on and he still put his head in that cupboard - evolution in action.

[Dave 129]

Love it!

Fan-bloody-tastic! Looks like the prospect of beer tokens paid off ;)

[Gerrit Tijhof]

Oldskool

And loving it :)

[Rosuav]

@Duckorange

> Sorry, I haven't put anybody off their lunch, have I?

Nah. Anyone who is eating lunch while reading BOFH already knows what they're up for.

But I have to confess. "Two in one day" - I'd be satisfied with two in one fortnight - new episodes, that is. This is the correct standard, though!

[Lykofos]

Oh yah!

Ah the BOFH is back in classic form. No months long wait either. My week has been concluding an up note.

[Anonymous Coward]

Well Done!

Time for your brew now.

[satburn]

Wonderful!

Poor Graham... he was easy to spot as the "red shirts" in Star Trek.

BNC FTW!!!

[Marty McFly]

The real BOFH has returned!

Welcome back!

[Peter Fairbrother 1]

An argument against net neutrality.

I hate to say it, but here's a good argument against net neutrality.

For P2P, VOIP and (maybe sometime later) video, fast interconnect speeds are useful - but if everything else goes faster too. it's just another way for the lusers to f**k things up faster than they would otherwise.

[Il Midga di Macaroni]

Graham given a sporting chance?

Graham was given more than a sporting chance - he was given the whole story! Normal trainees don't get anything like that. I was almost expecting him to join the team for a moment there...

[Adrian Esdaile]

BNC, the good ole days

Ah, I got all misty-eyed and teary at the mention of coax; back in the day I had a whole collection of terminators, including one beauty with a momentary-disconnect switch in the end of it.

Endless hours of fun making segments suddenly vanish!

[James Condron]

Excellent

Shove in the BOFH teaching students 'rm' and you have the ultimate old school. Truly excellent stuff; the oldest is the funniest. And the messiest.

[Anonymous Coward]

Movers to replace

"Now we’ve done what we could about this,” I add. “My assistant here managed to back a van over a couple of boxes of them during the building move - which was quite tricky as they were being carried by the movers at the time - but we have stacks of them to replace"

At first, I understood that the movers, not the switches, were the ones with stacks of them to replace. How cruelly funny.

[Anonymous Coward]

for a short time...

I thought perhaps the PFY was getting ready to be replaced.

Glad to see hes not. (But should be)

[Anonymous Coward]

Worth waiting for...

Just make sure the next one comes out, on time, next FridAaaaaaarrrgghhhhh

[JRandomPerson]

Pity...

... potentially bright young lad I thought.

C'est la vie (or should that be c'est la mort.)

[Anonymous Coward]

Teaching rm?

You mean rm that is short for readmail?

[Amos]

@Mycho

Of course it is.

... and xmail is short for ex-mail ...

[wyrm]

lol wut

nobody mentioned a succesful implementation of cascading switches yet?

Simon for president :-)

[Nate H.]

Bravo!

The perfect ending to the week. Thanks SImon!