back to article Oz driver prangs ute during 'amorous activities'

An Oz woman suspected of having caused a 33-year-old man to prang his ute has strenuously denied she was administering him oral pleasure at the time of the crash. According to the Northern Territory News, police believe "amorous activities" were behind the crash last week in Humpty Doo*, in which the driver of a Toyota Hilux …

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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Red mark

    I would say that the red mark across her chest suggest that it was indeed worn, but she was not sitting in the, ahem... approved manor. It rather implies that it was already under tension across her upper chest, such as you might expect if she was leaning over. This resulted in it pulling to hard on her skin upon impact, causing the bruising.

    Your honour, I rest my case.

    Now, can I go next?

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Well....

    .....he'd have to be pretty drunk wouldn't he - looking at the pictures of her!

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    Excellent caption

    On the link to the local rag:

    "BLOWN OUT OF PROPORTION"

    Classy. I love Australia.

  4. Dan 10
    Paris Hilton

    Humpty Doo

    Brilliant, perfect Friday afternoon story!

    Just checking out the 'girls' via my phone rather than through the proxy!

    Paris - well, duh...

  5. Winkypop Silver badge
    Thumb Down

    Standard issue story for...

    The Northern Territory News.... yawn

    Normally it's just monster Crocs!

  6. Alan Dougherty
    Pint

    Charges.

    According to ntnews, 'He was charged with drink-driving after blowing'

    Surely that should be 'during'?

  7. Dan 10

    Ugh

    Update to my previous comment: Don't bother following the link, she's a minger.

    Although to be fair, the newspaper captioning the picture with "BLOWN OUT OF ALL PROPORTION" deserved a mention!

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    boobies boobies boobies

    ...Pity about the face though

    Paper bag icon?

    Paris for obvious reasons.

  9. lukewarmdog
    Coat

    according to the link

    "He was charged with drink-driving after blowing .147, driving without due care and driving without a licence."

    They haven't proved the blowing.

  10. Jay Castle
    Coffee/keyboard

    Jesus!

    Looking at the picture, the poor bastard was probably trying to jump out of the car when he lost control!! And he probably had the drink afterwards, attempting to block the memory of that hideous creature lunging at his nether regions.

    A crash into an immovable concrete object would FAR less likely to produce nightmares ....*shudder*

  11. Anomalous Cowherd Silver badge

    Blowjobs and cars...

    The World According To Garp put me off this idea for life. Yikes.

  12. Lockwood
    Coat

    Obvious

    I would make an airbag joke.

    I needn't bother.

    Perhaps a gear stick joke?

  13. Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse Silver badge
    Thumb Up

    Minging.

    But I guess you have to get it however, and where ever you can.

    Still, top marks to the girl for saying it as it needed to be said.

  14. Law
    Paris Hilton

    Oh yeah...

    ITS FRIDAY!!!! :D

    Incidentally, I may have to sue for crimes against my laptop - the poor thing almost self-destructed following the link to her pic... :'(

    Paris, because she's a classy lady too

  15. ElFatbob

    erm...

    'I also had a $5 note wedged between my boobs '....

    Just one of the very strange things about this story....

  16. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    not a BJ

    Not a blowjob then a hand job. She has a point about the shoulder strap burn it wouldn't have gotten there if she'd be going down on him.

  17. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

    Re: Ugh

    I bet you're just as pretty as a picture, Dan 10.

  18. Mike Flugennock
    Paris Hilton

    I know I asked this before on a similar report, but...

    ...seriously, is this an Australian thing, or do all the reports that El Reg picks up about people wrecking their cars while masturbating, giving head, etc. all just happen to have been from Australia?

    I've seen so many reports on the Reg of Australian guys wrecking their cars while...uh, "cracking one off", that it's gotten to where it's not news at all anymore -- kind of like IE security exploits.

    I realize that Australia has lots of flat stretches of desert with long, straight highways -- kind of like Arizona, New Mexico, west Texas -- where long trips can get really boring, but, seriously, folks... what's up with all the DWM?

    Any Australians here care to chime in on this? Inquiring minds, etc.

    (Paris, because, baby, she can drive my car, beep-beep, beep-beep, yeah.)

  19. Anonymous Coward
    IT Angle

    So this is IT related how?

    So a story about some woman who may or may not have been giving a blowjob is IT related, but the Movie industries suing of an Australian ISP for allowing copyright infringement using bittorrent isn't?

    As for Humpty Doo, we've got plenty more funny names where that came from down here in the antipodes. Like Humpybong, Inaloo, Yorkeys Knob, Rooty Hill, and Tittybong, not to mention Woy Woy, Wee Waa, Useless Loop, Nowhere Else, Smiggin Holes, Boing Boing, and Orange to name but a handful.

  20. Niall 1

    Asterisks suck

    or should that be ****! "****ing" can only be read as sucking right? cause using the "F" word doesn't really make sense. So why all the astericks?

  21. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Never mind,

    just saw the article about Oz media court case.

    As you where!

  22. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

    Re: So this is IT related how?

    It's in bloody Bootnotes for chrissakes, it's not supposed to be IT-related. Have a nice day.

  23. Number6

    Re: Ugh

    Sarah, he probably isn't as pretty, he won't have the boobs to distract people. And if he did, that's even more terrifying.

  24. seanj
    Megaphone

    Re: So this is IT related how?

    There was probably a mobile phone in the truck, now STFU and leave the rest of us alone to enjoy a Friday afternoon in peace, you miserable bastard.

  25. Elmer Phud
    Terminator

    Picture, please

    I am unable to make a fair judgment on this as we've not seen what the bloke looks like.

    I would also suspect that many of the males here who have commented on the woman's appearance are not exactly pin-ups either and would, in truth (and lack of activity), jump at the chance. (given that most IT 'experts' are insular, acne-marked and lard-arsed).

  26. ian 22
    Pint

    Munter

    Where's me beer goggles?

  27. Apocalypse Later

    Bootnotes

    I see nothing about boots nor indeed notes in this story. Surely it should be in "odds and sods".

  28. Ben Boyle
    Joke

    One wonders

    just how she knows that $5 is cheap for a blowjob....

  29. Anonymous Coward
    Unhappy

    title

    Shame about the asterisks. I guess we'll never know what she really said.

  30. This post has been deleted by a moderator

  31. Anonymous Coward
    Flame

    Hmmm...

    Looking at the picture, I can now understand why Australian Sheep look so nervous.

  32. James 55

    That Mark

    Would suggest to me that she was leaning over to the side when the accident happened... It's at an odd angle.

  33. Johnny Canuck

    beer goggles

    Well, the article did mention he was impaired.

  34. This post has been deleted by a moderator

  35. Anonymous Coward
    Dead Vulture

    Lose the Asterisks

    "I was not ****ing his ****', insists female passenger"

    is this The Puritan or The Register? Lose the asterisks.

  36. This post has been deleted by a moderator

  37. HaplessPoet
    Coat

    $5 Between the "girls"

    Its obvious she had only tucked the note there for a few moments whilst she got the £4 dollars change out of her purse!

    Mines the one with $5 note in the pocket!

  38. Ian Stephenson
    Joke

    I'm surprised no one else has said this yet but...

    Playmobil or it didn't happen!

  39. HaplessPoet
    FAIL

    @self

    /£/\\$/

    text text text, there happy now?

  40. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    It's never made me crash before...

    ...but even if I wasn't it the car at the time I might just go out and crash one after being on the receiving end of a ****job from that!

  41. Noobius
    Grenade

    @Re: Ugh

    It makes no difference what the commenters look like. She's ugly even at .145 BAC.

    That being said this story is why i keep reading El Reg (also some IT stuff, but that's secondary ^^).

  42. Anonymous Coward
    WTF?

    Humpty Doo, eh?

    Got stranded there once for the best part of a week when the head gasket went on the camper van. Never thought I'd hear the name again now I'm back in England and it then turns up in the Reg! Thought I'd got to meet just about everyone there - funny lot - but don't remember that face. Her story sounds about right, I'd say - probably perfectly innocent.

    Oh, and the place with the funniest name I toured in Oz was '1770' in Qld. Vaguely recall it gets listed amongst the S's in the road atlas, though sometimes referred to as 'Town of 1770'

  43. Anonymous Coward
    FAIL

    nasty buggers

    I've seen a whole lot let pretty and a lot uglier men, so all you whingers out there.... ODFO.

  44. b166er

    In other words

    It was a topless handjob and matey reached over for a grab and crashed his pickup.

    Love the 'BLOWN OUT OF PROPORTION' too :)

  45. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    It gets better

    This story just keeps on giving. Check out the ad.

    http://fs3.teradepot.com/i/00010/rnctnw9wizl0.jpg

  46. SirTainleyBarking
    Badgers

    @AC 16:47

    Its a direct quote from the Northern Territory News thats linked in the article....

    Though frankly I never thought the Australians were that squeamish about using good old fashioned Anglo Saxon. Certainly the young lady they (Partially) quoted wasn't

  47. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    @AC and to help Sarah

    "So a story about some woman who may or may not have been giving a blowjob is IT related"

    The IT industry would not exist if it were not for the film version of the blow job - so say thank you to west hollywood.

    PH - cause she made her own version of IT bandwidth usage.

  48. Big-nosed Pengie
    Paris Hilton

    @Mike Flugennock

    "Any Australians here care to chime in on this? Inquiring minds, etc."

    It beats listening to rap and it's safer than texting.

    Paris, because what else?

  49. Anonymous Coward
    FAIL

    next time, pull over...

    when you intend to give someone a stomach massage...

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gillian_Taylforth

    "In January 1994 Taylforth was involved in a high-profile court case when she sued The Sun newspaper for libel after they ran a story claiming she and Knights had performed sexual acts on an M25 slip road in their Range Rover. Taylforth claimed that her partner had suffered an acute attack of pancreatitis and she was merely massaging his stomach to soothe his abdominal pain; however, a police officer claimed that she was performing fellatio instead. "

    well that's what she still claims she was doing...

  50. Mathew White
    Coat

    Reconstruction

    We need some Bones/CSI style CGI reconstruction...

  51. Anonymous Coward
    Grenade

    Humpty Doo?

    Lovely place, but it would have been far more apt if it happened in Koolyanobbing (there are some wonderful place names round here!).

    Grenade because... well it says "Suck on this" when you hover the mouse over it.

  52. Mr Ian
    Pint

    @Yup, you really couldn't make this up.

    Was born in Darwin, and it's certainly one of the more entertaining names up there. There used to be a cattle station near there called ‘Umpity Doo' and I believe the township is named after that. The origin of the station's name though isn't all that well known though... I think the station was there roughly 100 years ago. CSIRO used that area for a fair bit of experimentation and there's some reasonably successful farms around the place. That's about it.

  53. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    Humpty Doo

    I am an ex pat living in Darwin, but since I can't afford the outrageous rents in the city I live "out bush" at Humpty Doo. Its not a bad place, the constant 30+ all year round temperature and the fact the place I am renting has 5 acres of mango & banana trees and a swimming pool certainly makes life more pleasant than being back in Blighty.

    I have been to the Humpty Doo Tavern a few times, but don't recall ever seeing her there. Prefer the Humpty Doo Hotel anyway though.

    The most surprising aspect of this story is the fact she was actually wearing a seatbelt in the first place, given the number of Territorians who are killed after being thrown from their cars.

  54. ElReg!comments!Pierre

    ****ing his ****

    Or, in the eternal words of a scorned Lisa Simpson:

    "Asterisk asterisk asterisk, asterisk asterisk asterisk asterisk!"

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