Oh lordy no!
If "The Terrorists" learn the secrets of the Higgs Boson before we do, then we're *all* doomed!!
Large Hadron boffin arrested on terrorism suspicion
An atomic physicist who worked at the European Organization for Nuclear Research for six years has been arrested on suspicion he had links to an Al Qaeda affiliate in North Africa. The unnamed man had been assigned to an analysis project for the organization, better known as CERN, since 2003, the group said in a press release …
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Friday 9th October 2009 21:49 GMT David 45
From the planet Hadron
I just KNEW no good would come of it! All this dabbling in home-grown black holes. It's probably conjured up a clone of some obscure terrorist through a fourth dimensional worm-hole in the space-time continuum, not to mention the side effect of listening to Vogon poetry.
Beam me up, Scotty.
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Friday 9th October 2009 22:45 GMT Anonymous Coward
Islamic Fundamentalist Strangelets
This is all part of Al Qaeda's plan to infiltrate the Large Hadron Collider, rig it to produce "strangelets" and then turn the earth and all its inhabitants into Islamicly pure goo!!
Doubtless the faithful will go straight to heaven and their 72 virgins a pop, while the rest of us are reduced to stuff that looks like milk chocolate pudding.
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Saturday 10th October 2009 13:40 GMT Anonymous Coward
Good night Vienne
One could only imagine the clamour, by French ministers and artists/artistes around the globe, for his release. I say "imagine" because it won't happen.
Please note: this is probably not the internationally famous film director and French national Roman Polanski, (guilty of unlawful sexual intercourse with a minor, by plea bargain).
The arrested man has not yet been identified. It is for this reason I reckon it is not Roman Polanski the internationally famous film director and French national (guilty of unlawful sexual intercourse with a minor, by plea bargain).
My IT angle? Well, Roman Polanski the internationally famous film director and French national (guilty of unlawful sexual intercourse with a minor, by plea bargain), was arrested in Switzerland. Switzerland is of course home to the international CERN (home of the 3 W's {Bush excluded})
My guess is this guy might not be a French national and perhaps not Polish either.
No further mention of the brothers?
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Saturday 10th October 2009 13:40 GMT The Flying Dutchman
Re: money on...
Completely plausible.
Also, in order to keep the War On Terror Gravy Train going, an excuse is needed every now and then in order to keep Alert Level Orange in force. Since it's really unlikely they'll catch any real terrorists, they'll just have to make something up... Anyone with an Arab-sounding name may be next in line, bonus points if you work in science or engineering, more bonus points of you have a beard...
Be Afraid, Be Very Afraid...
By the way, anyone knows what became of those guys who where arrested on terrorism charges in France a while ago - allegedly they planned to sabotage a high speed rail line, and one of the reasons the prosecutors were convinced they were terrorist was that none of them owned or used a mobile phone...?
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Saturday 10th October 2009 13:40 GMT Anonymous Coward
Link schmink
"...arrested on suspicion he had links to an Al Qaeda affiliate..."
Links? "Links"?? What the hell is a "link"? Anyone who knows about "six degrees of separation" realises that almost anyone in the world can be "linked" to anyone else - if someone with enough money and power wants him to be linked.
Talking of which, how about the Bush family's much more concrete links to the bin Laden family? Funny how completely uninterested the US "justice" system seems to be in those.
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Saturday 10th October 2009 13:40 GMT Anonymous Coward
Print off and carry
Before I can speak to you or be in the immediate vicinity, please answer the following questions:
1) Do you have, plan to have or have you ever had any association with any terrorist organisation?
2) Do you have about your person any electronic device that isn't approved and mass-produced? This includes jailbroken iPhones.
3) Do you have any materials in your possession that could be combined to make explosives? This also includes iPhones, anything with a Li-Ion or Li-Po battery and access to solid surfaces, jailbroken or not. iPods from Liverpool are considered to be surface to air missiles.
4) Are you a Brazilian electrician?
5) Do you regularly carry a rucksack?
6) Have you ever taken the piss out of our Home Secretary on US national television?
That's it, then. Sorry, you lot. I can't talk to you. Guilt by association, don't you know? Anon, for obvious reasons...
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Saturday 10th October 2009 15:28 GMT Anonymous Coward
Re: Money on? #
> Given that we know that "Al-Qaeda" is a CIA invention, it's a certainty.
As I understand things, for the US to be able to prosecute Osama bin Laden for the bombings of the US embassy in Kenya he had to count as the head of a criminal organisation. You can't get done for something by the US courts if you're not there, unless you are the boss of a organisation.... comes from the law to do with racketeering or whatever was written to fight Al Capone and/or the mob.
The US needed a name for this organisation, and they used Al Qaeda.
The source for this is my memory of the Adam Curtis documentary The Power Of Nightmares.
But "Al Qaeda" is also a very useful device for the press to use to shift papers. Or website impressions. If you take what the press say at face value, it would be expected that you would see Al Qaeda as an organised, hierarchical organisation. Much like a traditional army. But it is not that at all.
Some modern groups of extremist Islamists label themselves Al Qaeda as a consequence of the western use of the term, but ultimately Al Qaeda is a more of a movement (not bowel) than some structured organisation.
Al Qaeda is to terrorism what Freecycle is to recycling.
I know how controversial that sounds, but I think it is quite fair: Freecycle is simply the title given to and claimed by a movement of un-organised, dis-joined people who want to be less wasteful of stuff that could be useful to others.
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Monday 12th October 2009 04:22 GMT Anonymous Coward
The Self Dessication Society
"Freecycle is simply the title given to and claimed by a movement of un-organised, dis-joined people who want to be less wasteful of stuff that could be useful to others."
While Al Qaeda is just a movement of unorganised people who want to be disjointed by useful stuff that could waste others.
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Monday 12th October 2009 09:18 GMT Anonymous Coward
Links to Terrorists?
Ex President Bush's whole family have direct links with the Bin Laden family which in turn financially supported Bin Ladan and still do.
I bet these guys just gave some money to some random charity that gives money to some part of the world that has terrorist fighters.
Al Qaeda is just a made up name by the americans, they clearly watch too much BOND, maybe they should have just called then S.P.E.C.T.R.E !
If you trace anything back far enough you find OIL at the end.
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Monday 12th October 2009 09:18 GMT Grease Monkey
Always makes me snigger...
...that when these stories first break (usually Sky News or News 24) the suspect is "a member of Al Queda" and by the time it hits print the following day we have something like "possible association with an Al Queda affiliate".
Every time a bomb goes off it is an "Al Queda" attack, a couple of days later it's been watered down to an "Al Queda inspired attack". Now I'm sure governments would have us believe that these are honest mistakes made by the media or, perhaps in the case of the tabloid press, irresponsible exaggeration. However it wouldn't surprise me if the original information received by the news organisations doesn't come with Al Queda written all over it and then get downgraded later. All in the interests of splashing a little FUD over the news.
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Monday 12th October 2009 09:18 GMT The Original Ash
I'm @AC (Re: Please Arrest Me)
Oh no! I read a comment written by a person who posted on the same website as someone who went to school with someone who now works for the PLO!
OH CRAP! I FORGOT TO POST ANONYMOUSLY! *Cowers in terror*
Oh no! I said terror!
Agh! I did it again!
Waaa! I selected the grenade icon!
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Monday 12th October 2009 09:18 GMT BOBSta
@Fihart - FlashForward
I would doubt that - for these reasons :
a) The novel of FlashForward is currently not available in and has never yet been published in UK - at least according the might of the Waterstones computer system. They (pivately) recommended trying Amazon!
b) It's on Channel 5.
Afganistan is hilly and I'm not sure that Amazon deliver there...
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Monday 12th October 2009 09:18 GMT james 68
oh goodie
yay for the day when the rozzers come knocking on my door.
"sir we have reason to believe you are in communication with foreign terrorists"
'eh?'
"sir we have evidence of thousands of emails from well known nigerian terrorist finaciers which you contrived to hide in your spam box to discourage investigation"
'you mean spam?'
"come with us please sir, you have no rights to silence, legal representation...blah blah"
best delete all those "grow your penis now" and "if you send me £x ill pay you £million when i get it from wherever" spam mails, wouldnt want them to be considered links to terrorism now would you?
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Monday 12th October 2009 09:18 GMT Vladimir Plouzhnikov
Interesting - how likely is it
that they will "find" that the He leak was a result of an act of sabotage and that the guy they "caught" was responsible?
After all you cannot expect any respectable head of engineering dept or, god forbid, any multinational construction company to be held accountable for the hundreds of millions of EUR spent on fixing the consequences of a faulty relay (or whatever it was that caused the leak), can you?
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Monday 12th October 2009 09:41 GMT Anonymous Coward
RE: Print of and carry
From reading your questions it appears you have also applied for a Visa to America.
Question no.1 was actually on the application form, although you forgot the question about whether you are a pimp or drug dealer (yes or no question).
Anon, cause I've been through a US airport twice so I'm already on their watch list.
A lesson for you kids, don't drive with no insurance and get done for it when your a teenager as you'll be labelled a terrorist when your older.
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Monday 12th October 2009 11:29 GMT Anonymous Coward
If this annoys you, you might like...
... to read "Newspeak in the 21st Century" by David Edwards and David Cromwell (of Media Lens).
http://tinyurl.com/yfwmpbu
It's a well-written, fact-filled and convincingly argued book by two guys who have dedicated themselves to uncovering systematic bias in the Western media. It turns out there's far more of it than I had suspected - and I've become fairly cynical about the media of late.
The neatest aspect of their analysis is that they conclude there usually isn't a big conspiracy to hush up unwelcome facts. Instead, individual journalists read the signs and do what they think is best for their own career prospects.
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Monday 12th October 2009 11:52 GMT Anonymous Coward
Nothing new
When I was at college back in the mid eighties a couple of guys at the college were arrested and deported because of their alleged links with terrorist organisations. Didn't get as much media attention back then though.
The difference was IIRC these guys were Iranian. The current Iranian regime have never AFAIK received funding from the US government. Unlike Bin Laden, Saddam or the Taliban. So that's alright then.
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Monday 12th October 2009 12:50 GMT Anonymous Coward
Re: Six degrees of Kevin Bacon
"How many of us unknowingly have six degrees of separation from Al Qaeda?"
When the government's IMP internet surveillance project is fully on stream everyone and their granny will be flagged up as 'terrists'. Guilt by association will be the only standard of proof required and the death sentence will be mandatory. Naturally, 'Honourable Members' and their corporate buddies will get a free pass.
But not to worry, the security services will be too busy wading through the millions of false positives that occur to annoy the rest of us. And presumably they wont have much time to chase down the real threats to our country either. New Labour, same old shit.
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Monday 12th October 2009 14:01 GMT Dodgy Geezer
It's worse than that (Jim...)
"...best delete all those "grow your penis now" and "if you send me £x ill pay you £million when i get it from wherever" spam mails, wouldnt want them to be considered links to terrorism now would you?.."
James 68
What! Delete them and be found guilty of hiding evidence, perverting the course of justice, etc, ect?
Only MPs and the police can hide evidence and get away with it...
This topic is closed for new posts.
Biting the hand that feeds IT
