back to article 'Stop NASA bombing the Moon!'

Treehugging, possibly lycanthropic web-2.0 campaigners have launched a petition intended to "stop NASA from bombing the Moon!". The organisers of the petition claim that the space agency is turning unspoiled lunar wilderness into a "firing range" for space weapons, and that US "imperialists" intend to colonise the moon "without …


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  1. weirdcult


    i think i might be in love with them.

  2. M7S

    It'll might not hit the target

    SHADO will intercept it first if it goes anywhere near their little outpost.

    The blue suit with the white boots please.

  3. eezatehgeeza

    The Word According to the Shatner...

    Oh, him? He's harmless. Part of the free speech movement at Berkeley in the sixties. I think he did a little too much LDS.

  4. LucanUK

    Says it all....



  5. Rik Silver badge

    Another demonstration

    of Poe's Law?

  6. Richard Cartledge
    Thumb Down

    This is bad

    Watch "Secret Space" by SuicideStokie on Youtube.

  7. Pyros

    Whatta buncha loons.

    Think they should have a crack at colonization first?

    (Think about it. Mean, I know, but it's worth the effort sometimes. >) )

  8. Matthew 17

    indigenous peoples?

    Mr Spoon & his Wife?

  9. Pete mcQuail

    Oh dear

    the Clangers lived on a small blue planet and not the moon.

    The real concern is the ejected blue cheese which could cause major disruption to global transport systems and severe confusion in the fromage producing regions of northern France

    Please do pay attention at the back.

  10. Dave Ross


    I could have sworn it was Wednesday, not Friday :)

  11. HFoster
    Thumb Down

    Made from moon dust

    It's amazing how these mental cases barely have a half-hour of physics education between them.

    Made from stardust is far more apt: the sun is a second generation star (yes, I'm preaching to the choir here...), it and its system being made from the remnants of an older star which went nova.

    This is just proof of why sensible people shouldn't engage in arguments with idiots on the internet: they drag you down to their own deranged level and pummel you with experience.

  12. M. Burns Silver badge

    If I had a nickel...

    If I had a nickel for every spent stage that has hit the moon over the last 40 years, I'd be rich.

  13. Anonymous Coward

    Well.... technically ...

    They don't want to bomb it, they want to shoot it.

    Besides it's just like a meteor strike, I'd like to see the hippies petition against that.

    Never did like the Clangers anyway.

    Operation "Shoot for the Moon" is a GO!

  14. Anonymous Coward

    dada evidently still not dead

    I'll just get my overcoat...

  15. LuMan
    Paris Hilton


    The moon is female? How do we know?? Other than making itself TOTALLY noticeable every month that is*.

    Really, it's just a lump of rock. Let's use it as a big space dustbin and put all our rubbish on it. eventually Earth will get so light it'll escape the Sun's gravitational field, while the Moon will get so heavy it'll plummet into Earth. Job done.

    Paris, 'cos, well, heavenly bodies and all that...

    *Cue feminist flames.

  16. sandman

    Not surreal enough!

    There was just enough in the message to appeal to some conspiracy nuts. Can we please try and be a little more surreal please, otherwise the nutters will take it seriously. (Of course the missile could always go astray and hit the site where Apollo 11 supposedly landed, thereby obliterating the lack of evidence and covering up the original coverup). This conspiracy stuff is fun!

  17. ThaMossop

    Before it's too late

    When the Earth's space and resources are all but used up, the ozone layer is depleted, etc, and we ask ourselves why we didn't try and get humans settled on another planet...

    Well we wanted to communicate to and soothe the planets, didn't we?

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Black Helicopters

    Not content with

    fucking up Earth the Yanks are turning their attention to celestial bodies further afield over which their property rights are even more dubious than they are in, say, Iraq or Afghanistan. Hope they get their math hopelessly wrong and the thing drops on Kansas,

    I, for one, do not welcome the gun-slinging wannabe overlords.

    Fuck off.

  19. Tom_

    Stop it

    I'd like to see how they propose to actually stop the LCROSS mission at this stage, even with NASA's full compliance. Even if we had a Saturn 5 prepped and on the launch pad and the ability to fire it into LCROSS before it collides with the Moon, it'd still get there about three days too late.

    Some people.

  20. Henry 2

    Hippy logic...

    Well, that's easy enough. Meteor strikes are natural, and therefore good. Slamming a rocket into the moon is done by human beings, and is therefore bad. Simple!

  21. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge

    Hey Joe Spooky Dudes, Jude, in a Heady InterNetional MixTuring of Talents and Remote Magic Powers.

    "Thus far the Care2 petition has only 560 digi-signatures,..." Presently is the petition closed concealing Smart Support from Space and ITs Satellite Networks of Virtualised Controllers Seconded to NSA and NASA via ESA and Bletchley . The Blighty Element in Advanced IntelAIgent Virtual Defence Initiatives with dDutch CyberIntelAIgents.

  22. frank ly

    @AC 14:19

    "...Never did like the Clangers anyway...."

    You'd like them even less if they retaliate. (Shudders at the thought of what the Soup Dragon could do if it was unleashed on us.)

  23. Anonymous John


    No need for a comment. Plain text or HTML.

  24. TeeCee Gold badge

    The could be idiots, or.....

    Of course it's entirely possible that they are surrealists and the purpose of this could merely be to wax their moustaches while having a good giggle at how many complete berks take them and their surreal petition seriously.

    "Chicago Surrealist Movement"? It's not like they didn't put a clue in there for the seriously hard of thinking. The only way it could have been more obvious is if they'd asked NASA not to chuck fish and apples at the moon as it could soften their watches.

    Mine's the one with the pipe in the pocket that isn't a pipe.

  25. Mike Richards Silver badge

    @ M Burns

    'If I had a nickel for every spent stage that has hit the moon over the last 40 years, I'd be rich.'

    You'd have about $3.50.

  26. Jimmy Floyd

    Moon vs Sun? Cheese vs big, fuck-off explosion

    "...our closest and dearest celestial neighbor."

    Actually, although I've always held the moon in particularly high esteem and do profess a certain adoration (aw, shucks... I love that moon!) I would suggest that the sun might perhaps be a little dearer to our hearts purely for reasons of survival - regular tidal systems, NASA budgets and pretty night skies notwithstanding.

    I was wondering if AManFromMars had an opinion on preferred celestial bodies but, predictably, I haven't a clue what he's just said...

  27. Aaron Em

    So, TeeCee...

    ...what you're saying there is that they're basically Internet trolls?

    I mean, I'm sorry, maybe it's just because I am an uncultured rube. But there is a significant difference between "this is not a pipe" and the dumb shit we're discussing today -- "this is not a pipe" actually has a *point* to make: this is not a pipe, but a picture of a pipe; don't confuse the menu with the meal. I fail to see what similarly useful point exists in the ignorant garbage currently under discussion.

  28. Elmer Phud

    Strip mining

    Bloody lazy it what it is.

    Why can' t NASA go for deep excavations to get at the cheese instead of ripping the surface apart? We'll have dangerous slag heaps of Tesco Value cheese and poor Martians bussed in to live in appaling conditions and mine the open cheese face.

    Exploitation of the masses!

  29. Coyote

    @ LuMan

    The moon is considered female in just about every mythology for precisely that reason. The lunar cycle is almost exactly the same period as, well... some women even synch to it.

    Feminist flames that arising from said observation? Now that's amusing.

    ...mine's the fur (and claws, and teeth) that sprouts once a month.

  30. Jason DePriest

    I don't think we should be bombing the moon

    But not because of "indigenous" peoples or whatever, but because it doesn't belong to the US of A (where I was born and still live).

    What gives us the right to blow a hole in the moon? This is a piece of international real estate with a real possibility of being colonized within the next century.

    And here we go launching rockets at it and beating it up.

    The fact that NASA hasn't had to talk to any other countries with a stake (such as China, India, etc) is pretty sad.

    It is like they are saying, "We can get there first, so we get to do whatever the hell we want."

    It is arrogance.

  31. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Bomb the moon

    I bet if somebody set up a petition demanding that we bomb the moon it would get more signatures.

  32. Stevie Silver badge


    Think of the badgers, man! The vacuum-breathing, rock-eating, Moon-indigenous Space Badgers.

  33. northern monkey
    Thumb Down

    Whilst these people may be nuts...

    ..their rantings do pose an interesting question - should we not start any colonisation of the moon somewhat better than our planet-destroying colonisation of Earth? That would include not shooting chunks out of it - I'm sure there's a less destructive way of testing for water, etc, on the moon but they've obviously gone with the 'meh, no-one lives there so lets just blow a chunk out of it' approach.

  34. Anonymous Coward
    IT Angle


    I think a large pinch of fairy dust should have been introduced to the olfactory organ before typing this news story.

  35. Sillyfellow

    nice one !!

    at least you now know something new about the shady plans, behavior and attitudes of NASA et al.


  36. baldusi

    I'm a bit ridiculous, so I'll make a logical argument.

    This can't really be any kind of test, since the moon has a different gravity, lacks any atmosphere and has no Magnetosphere. Why is this important? Because the orbit used to crash the expended rocket, would result in it's utter evaporation on contact with the Earth's atmosphere. For Earth you would have to have a different system with a much more controlled angle of attack, an autonomous system capable of surviving the passage through the Van Allen magnetic belt and with aerodynamic command, like a transcontinental missile, thank you very much.

  37. Anonymous Coward

    Mmmm... cheese

    Let's all go to the moon and hug a moon tree, lie under the earth-light and look at the twinkling stars, and if time allows, go to a local moon seashore and tan under the light of the noon-day sun.

  38. Anonymous Coward

    There it is!

    Now that the Yanks have bombed the moon will most of them know where it is?

    Mine's the one with the map in the pocket...

    Anonymous because my house is on a map.

  39. Juillen 1

    Interesting bit..

    About them not wanting the moon to suffer alone, and they wanted to make sure that didnt' happen.. Easy solution, we'll bomb them at the same time.. Voila, they have their wish!

  40. TeeCee Gold badge

    @Aaron Em

    Not trolls, artists.

    The pipe reference was deliberate, it's the same thing. Using something that at first glance seems like an idiotic nonsense to provoke a reaction and/or thought. The pipe picture is just that, a fairly ordinary picture of a pipe and the words are just words. The actual art occurs in the mind of the viewer. Thus in this case, the content of the "petition" is in itself unimportant bar its provocative nature. It's the effect on those seeing it, from sycophantic agreement to abuse from those that "know better" and all points between that's the clever bit.

    I'll freely admit that I could be reading too much into what they call themselves and they may well just be a bunch of perfectly ordinary utter loons, but you never know.

  41. Aron

    Count my vote!

    John Kerry will testify to Congress that the imperialist white protestant US military are raping Moonian babies and beheading Lunar women! Al Gore will testify we are ruining the lunar atmosphere with our nitrogen and hydrogen rockets pollution! This is without question, the debate is over, scientists and Hollywood celebrites have formed a consensus. There will be regulation and more taxes to help starving Moonian children!

  42. greenstar

    Gravitational Concerns

    The moons surface is regularly hit by meteors and to date, there hasn't been one significant enough to alter it's rotation but what if a perfectly placed bomb can do what no meteor can?NASA will not just be sending an object to the moon with the resulting force of a collision. It will be sending a device that not only collides but "explodes" at ground level. The laws, constraints and physics that apply to Earth don't necessarily apply to the moon. Even the slightest, most temporary alteration of the moons path could have devastating ramifications for us. This could be the biggest "Ooooops" of all time but there won't be a human alive to utter the word.

  43. Anonymous Coward

    give me a break

    For goodness sake!!!!! Treehuggers need get over it. This is the most rediculous petition ever. Why don't they go to the moon and tie themselves to a big rock with a sign that reads: "hell no we won't go." No wonder everything is going down the toilet,Treehuggers!

  44. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Why the moon will never have any military significance.

    Picture the scene: it's Defcon 5, the top brass have all gathered in the war room under Cheyenne mountain. A solemn faced aide brings in a note.

    Brass1: Gentlemen, I'm afraid it's true. This message confirms it; the Soviets have launched a massive nuclear strike against continental USA.

    Brass2: Thank God we set up a military base on the moon! We'll rain unstoppable nuclear death down on them from space! Quick, launch all the warheads.

    Aide: <relaying the order> Missiles away sir. Estimated time to target <pause, listens>.... about three and a half days.

    Brass2: How soon did you say those Soviet missiles were going to be here?

    Aide: Four minutes, sir.

    Brass2: Oh...... <twiddles thumbs> ....... Anyone for a soft-boiled egg?

    PS: And yep. All the killjoys here just don't "get" surrealism and magic, neither what they're for nor how they work. I thought it was pretty good myself.

  45. John Savard Silver badge


    Could it not be that the surrealists who were responsible for this petition are, perhaps, not making a serious protest against what they (very mistakenly!) see as a serious danger, but are instead making a jest? The political jests do exist; for example, there is in Canada the Rhinoceros party.

  46. hangeron

    send up the dumpsters

    we'd better get the dumpsters up there pronto. maybe the clangers will help!

  47. Anonymous Coward

    Where I come from, the word Surrealist would be a clue

    The reg punked?

  48. Maty

    Please. please tell me they are serious

    The world needs more full-scale nuts to outflank the semi-nutcases on their loony side. And some of the writing is priceless

    'We as surrealists or lunatics or astrologers or naturalists or anarcho-primitivists or Greens or werewolves or pagans or psychics or UFO groupies or other concerned members of the general public ...'

    There are members of the concerned general public who are not werewolves, pagans or anarcho-primitives? Gosh!

  49. RTNavy

    Time Machine

    Didn't this happen in the updated H.G. Wells' Time Machine? Blew a hole in the moon, shifted its orbit and destroyed civilization as we knew it on earth?

    Where is the Vogon Destruction fleet when you need it!

    Save your towels, and peanuts you'll need em.

  50. Fatman

    Chicago Surrealist Movement - a bunch of f***tards

    I suspect that somebody forgot to take their meds, and made the mistake of taking some DRUGS!

    The previous poster quoting Kirk:

    "Oh, him? He's harmless. Part of the free speech movement at Berkeley in the sixties. I think he did a little too much LDS"

    got it right on the money!

    Those poor bastards, thought illegal drugs were safe.

    The asylum waits.

  51. J 3

    @Another demonstration

    ...of Poe's Law?

    I suspect so too.


    Well, do YOU know what Luna is up to in those few days of the month when it effectively "disappears" from our view? I don't, so it could be...

  52. Anonymous Coward

    Moon Maid won't mind a bit

    No, seriously, she won't mind a bit of exploratory fiddling with her home world.

  53. Anonymous Coward

    @AC 15:45

    Nah, they were really aiming for Mars. Call it blue-on-blue fire if you will... :-)

    Mine's the spent-rocket-stage-proof one next to the space suit.

  54. Mr Young

    I know nothing...

    ...but a quick google got me interested - have you seen the abuse planets can take? Aitken Basin on the moon? Herschel Crater on Mimas(Saturn moon I think - no expert)?

    Enough of that - are these hippies running scared cause NASA found their lentil and herb stash? Dark side of the moon? Or is it the end of the world again?OMG!

  55. Daemon ZOGG

    Sillyness will not be tollerated..

    An english translated quote from Ancient Hinu, Bhagavad Gita.. "I am become death, the destroyer of worlds."

    Human-kind will always and forever change the face of the universe and beyond. It is our nature. Entropy is the one of the basic laws of the universe. We cannot escape it. No matter how hard we try.


  56. Chronos


    Surely an Imperial Utu-class battle steel planetoid isn't going to be bothered by a little thing like a spent rocket...

    OK, I read too much.

  57. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    And how would this be different...

    From all the Appolo-era and other lunar satellite remains that have plowed into the moon's surface? By my count there are 8 new (geologically speaking) lunar craters just from the LEMs which impacted the lunar surface after their departure orbits decayed.

    Paris--because, well, she's a hell of a lot better looking than the Ballmer, Gates and the troll doll icons.

  58. LaeMi Qian

    the indigenous peoples...

    ...are presumably the ones that will be firing BACK!!!

  59. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    the moon belongs to america

    Funny that them yanks lost interested in the moon till various 'foreigners' started sending kit up there snooping around....

    So now the hysterical race to get there and install the barbed wire fences and brand all the moon rock has started again.

    Plucky Brits will probably send some bloke with big sideburns to measure everything in a suitably pompous and pointless Victorian fashion.

  60. jake Silver badge


    For a second there, I thought it was Friday :-(

  61. Anonymous Coward

    But seriously,...

    has anyone checked if this is a Chris Morris gig? (Brass Eye, peedos, "cake", etc)?

  62. cyberjawn

    There stupied Idiots

    Wow, can't believe that theres so many dumb asses out there. It's science not warfare you freakin idiots!!! There's no life on that rock! As long as we don't knock it out of orbit we're fine.

  63. Adam Williamson 1


    Clearly the guy's nuttier than a Toblerone, but then on the other hand, if you believe the U.S. isn't interested in space-based weapon systems you've got approximately the same level of contact with reality, I suspect. baldusi's points make it fairly clear that this isn't that, though. It's probably a distraction while they're *really* testing the weapons on Mars...

    Jason DePriest: thought experiment: how much actual damage would it cause to anyone's interests if someone dropped a sodding great bomb on the desert in Nevada somewhere? Answer: naff all. Bombs do damage to a) living things and b) artificial structures. If you drop a bomb on a large expanse of sand and rocks, you end up with very slightly more sand and very slightly fewer rocks, in a slightly different configuration. Big frickin' deal. That's all that's going to happen in this case.

  64. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Bomb the fu**er

    What did it ever do for us anyway? nothing there but commies and terrorists.

    Hell, send in the marines too.

  65. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    It works, bitches!

  66. Alan W. Rateliff, II
    Paris Hilton


    Happened in "Thundarr the Barbarian," too. Well, except that it was a runaway planet which caused the moon to split, and thus Man's civilization is cast in ruin, to give birth to a strange new world 2,000 years later, full of savagery, super-science, and sorcery.

    Paris, full of savagery and super-science. Not so much sorcery, though.

  67. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton


    .....a rock!!!!!!!

  68. Frumious Bandersnatch

    @The Word According to the Shatner

    > he did a little too much LDS.

    Got too much involved with the Mormons? WTF?

  69. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Here be Soup-Dragons

    3-2-1 and blast off........Whats wrong? It's er.. raining. Good fucking grief.

  70. Kelley Johnston


    It is a tremendously bad thing to shoot holes in the moon's face when what she really needs is tender loving care. I vote we take a billion tons of dolphin-safe cosmetic cream and send it up there to heal her badly bruised complexion.

    This may introduce a question as to how we send a giant space trowel to smooth it over all those craters, but (to quote Jack Welsh) strategy is simple; pick a direction and implement like hell.

    There is no question but that to the surreal at heart a peach pit is equally donkey.

  71. kosmos

    Won't someone think of.....

    Moon Base Alpha, we've had plenty of warning about the nuclear waste dump on the far side of the moon. If we start bombing it, it might result in an explosion forcing the moon out of orbit! (Despite the fact that the explosive forces required to de-orbit the moon would actually blow it apart)

    The poor inhabitants of the moon will encounter many new species and pick up various interstellar travellers who will invariably attempt to kill John Koenig for no discernible reason. That is all...

    Mine is the bright orange one with the yellow helmet......

  72. Winkypop Silver badge

    Old news I'm afraid

    The Apollo missions have already 'bombed' the moon.

    A number of the spent LEMs were ditched after returning to dock with the CM.

    These were often directed to deliberately impact the moon.

    This allowed seismic data to be collected.

    Additional: 3 golf balls have also impacted the moon...

  73. Joe Cooper

    Upper stage bombs

    "NASA will not just be sending an object to the moon with the resulting force of a collision."

    Yes they are.

    Its just a bog standard "upper stage".

    An upper stage is big dumb rocket that's responsible for "throwing" a probe beyond Low Earth Orbit.

    This one just has a special flightplan.

    Thousands of upper stages have flown during the space age. Most of them ran into something sooner or later.

    Another way to think of an upper stage is as a one-time-use "space tug".

    Upper stages have been flying for almost 50 years.

    You wouldn't use one as a weapon because once you order one, you also have to order a launch vehicle, and all that takes many many months to get it all together, and tens or even hundreds of millions of dollars per shot.

    Better to just use the Standard Missile 3 which can pop a sat from any AEGIS cruiser for a fraction of the price.

    The government absolutely has anti-sat weapons, but that doesn't mean you can point at any space thing that goes bang and cry foul. If anything, they were quite open about the last one, even going so far as to show it popping a sat on TV.

    You can also find pictures of an F-15 firing an anti-sat missile in the '80s. Look up ASM-135.

  74. Anonymous Coward

    greens under the bed ?

    Poor Lewis - and many of the posters above are getting a little too zealous in their pursuit of grrens. Seeing them everywhere ... even in clearly signposted jokes.

    Are you now, or have you ever been an environmentalist ?

  75. AndrueC Silver badge

    Well done

    Of all humanity's achievements I think 'sheer stupidity' has to be one of our greatest. There seems no end to the idiocy that the human mind can create.

  76. Jason Bloomberg

    Art, Philosophy or Madness ? Who's the real nutter ?

    Seems a few of the posters have understood what's being said, but most seem to have adopted a predictable, "Who gives a fuck? Bomb the fucker!", approach. Quite a reflection on human nature that.

    The underlying question is; who gave us the right to casually vandalise things and the right to act so unilaterally ? Are we not better than that ?

    "We choose to bomb the moon. We choose to bomb the moon in this decade and do other things, not because they are hard, but because it is so easy".

  77. Bill Fresher
    Thumb Up

    Moon Balloon

    The moon is a huge water balloon. If they pop it with a bomb it'll burst, the water will fall into Earth's atmosphere, heat up on entry and turn to steam, which will cook us all. Please stop NASA.

  78. HFoster

    @greens under the bed

    Shouldn't that be "Greens Under the Machines"?

    Mine's the one with the Ken MacLeod novel sticking out of the pocket.

  79. NT 1

    Sorry to be all serious...

    ... but as one of your resident pagans, can I just take a moment to say that I'm not remotely bothered about someone firing a lump of metal into the Moon.

    In comparison to what nature's already thrown at it - and will continue to throw at it for millennia to come - the issue really isn't worth the energy being expended typing about it.

    The Moon is a religious or spiritual symbol for those who see it that way, be it as a representation of Diana, Selene, Luna, or just 'the Goddess', or whoever or whatever else you might associate with it. But it's also a lifeless ball of rock swinging in a stable(ish) orbit around the Earth. NASA, frankly, aren't obliged to operate according to anything I might believe or not believe about the Moon: their responsibility is to the USA and to space exploration, not to my hippy sentiment. It's possible that these protesters are for real, in which case, to be honest, they're an embarrassment.

    But are they for real? My guess is probably no. Aside the fairly telling name for their group as already highlighted by other commenty people, this all bears a little too much resemblance to the "werewolves protest plan to blow up the Moon" spoof article that appeared in the Weekly World News in March 2002. Sounds to me as though someone thought the LCROSS mission would be a good chance to squeeze a few more laughs out of an old joke.

  80. MyHeadIsSpinning

    They're a bit early

    I was expecting some protest over the mining of the moon, due to the unpredictable effects that might have on our tides and therefore our climate and pretty much everything else on our planet.

    Instead, they are asking me to sing at the moon.

    Ok. Here goes.


  81. goggyturk
    Thumb Down

    @ kosmos

    "(Despite the fact that the explosive forces required to de-orbit the moon would actually blow it apart)"

    Dude, you just ruined my suspension of disbelief. I'll never be able to take that program seriously again now.

  82. The First Dave


    "We are all created from Moon dust."

    In that case a little more dust is surely a good thing - existing supplies must surely be running a little low?

    PS I didn't think that the moon _had_ any magnetic field, so what was that bit all about?

  83. Steve Swann

    That's no moon....

    ...that's my coat. I'll go get it.

  84. Secretgeek
    Paris Hilton

    Art or loony tunes.

    Either way I think it's a bit rich of them to include themselves as members of the general public. Even the unwashed masses are that mental.

    You know what? On second thoughts, I completely take back this comment.

  85. Robbie 1

    wait... what??

    @ amanfrommars - Dutch CyberIntelAIgents....

    I'll be watching you.. now care to give me my coat back??!!

  86. Ben Raynes


    Dearest Surrealist, Lunatic, Werewolf, Pagan, Psychic, UFO Groupie (or other beloved weirdo).

    Please Join: Amnesty for Soup Dragons

    In these troubled celestial times, now more than ever, your help is needed in fighting the evil capitalist, space-colonisers. Everyday, "Amnesty for Soup Dragons" representatives are fighting, all over the cosmos, to protect our beloved Lunar Creatures and the delicate ecosystems within which they struggle to survive. We would ask only that you give what you can to help....

    We are in desperate need of your used:


    Dreams (day dreams are fine but no erotic ones please)

    Old or tired imaginary friends

    Religious deities

    Magnetic bracelets, Rabbits feet, Horseshoes, etc

    If you have received a cerebral-carrier-bag, please fill it with whatever you can and leave it in your thoughts where one of our agents will be able to collect it.

    Otherwise, please send all you can to:

    Moonbase Alpha

    Just to the left and up a bit from:

    Sea Of Tranquility

    The MOON

    May pixie dust and moonbeams fill your days.

    Yours in faith,

    The Right Reverend L. Ron. Cupboard

  87. Ainteenbooty

    typical chicagoan scum

    As an American, I find anti-colonial views from other American's preposterous. It seems equivalent to resenting the sweaty act of procreation that lead to your existence, and insisting that it be banned. How appropriate that these are people from Chicago, a place that could use a good orbital bombardment.

  88. Captain Thyratron

    @AC 2009.10.07 17:16 GMT

    Minor point of correction, sir: DEFCON 5 is peacetime. I think you mean DEFCON 1.

  89. Captain DaFt

    Well, I'm inspired!

    Why should NASA have all the fun of blasting the moon and torquing off the nutters?

    I've just put in my order for this sweet baby!

  90. jake Silver badge

    @The Right Reverend L. Ron. Cupboard

    "Magnetic bracelets, Rabbits feet, Horseshoes, etc"

    I have several 55 gallon drums full of used horseshoes, and the Whippets can supply you any number of rabbit's feet. Where would you like me to send them? You pay shipping ... but you can have 'em for free. In fact, PLEASE take them off my hands! :-)

  91. Stoneshop Silver badge


    "The laws, constraints and physics that apply to Earth don't necessarily apply to the moon"

    Oh, really? Care to expand on that?

  92. greenstar

    greenstar to stoneshop

    Think of the planets in terms of forming a sentence. The Earth is a noun. The moon is a verb. Its very existance creates action in the tides, the weather, and possibly human mood. It's perfection of rotation sets into play all the components that make it possible for life here to exist and yet no life exists there. How is that possible? Wouldn't it seem logical for the earth to have a reciprocal effect on the moon - but it doesn't. The laws of symbiosis don't apply. If the moon is nothing more than a big rock then it can be cleaved like a big rock. Laws of mass and density don't apply nor do they offer us protection from the idiots at NASA who have never watched a diamond cutter. They are big boys with BIG toys and brains the size of a TRex AND are running the risk of making us all extinct.

  93. Michael H.F. Wilkinson
    Thumb Up

    GO greenstar et al!!

    These rants are so soothing to the rational mind. It is always reassuring that however wrong I get things in my scientific endeavours or general understanding of the world around us, I will never get anything as willfully, mind-bogglingly, even cerebrum-wrenchingly wrong as these people achieve without any discernible effort .

    Greenstar: I salute you

    The surrealist petition is a gem, and the rants above indeed a beautiful example of Poe's law.

  94. hangeron
    Jobs Horns

    has anyone thought of the after effects?

    This impact will slow or speed up the moon's orbit.

    Our lunar mother may fly away or come crashing down upon us. What about the celestial debris that may crash into the earth.

    To late now but this is something we should have been concerned with!!

    MyHeadIsSpinning will have nothing to sing to, how can he control his lycanthropic visions?

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