Attack of the Killer Tits

Reports are coming in of a previously unknown, deadly threat to sleepy Hungarian bats: that of being killed by tits. The shock news comes courtesy of Germany's Max Planck Institute for Ornithology, where boffins have been working with "colleagues in a cave in Hungary". Needless to say, we speak here not of any scenario …

[Anonymous Coward]

"Tits are not the same as Boobies"

Quite correct, tits are woodland birds, boobies are a type of seabird related to the gannet.

Even Paris knows that!

[David Neil]

In addition...

To follow on from "Tits are not the same as Boobies", one should also be careful not to attempt to introduce a shag to an old bat.

http://www.rspb.org.uk/wildlife/birdguide/name/s/shag/index.asp

[Andraž 'ruskie' Levstik]

Hmm sounds like an easy solution...

Add bird feeders around the caves - problem solved ;)

[Anonymous Coward]

Should our bat lover's worry

as we also have Parus major in UK

http://www.rspb.org.uk/wildlife/birdguide/name/g/greattit/index.asp

[Anonymous Coward]

er?

" the "Great Tits" in question here are peckish birds - of the same ingenious family as the renowned cream-snaffling Blue Tits of old Blighty "

There seems to be an implication here that Great Tits are not found in Britain. They are, of course, very common in the UK.

[TeeCee]

Re: In addition...

Yes, but a Shagbat is the same thing as a Walrus when it comes to things that fly. Just to add to the confusion....

[Anonymous Coward]

Hey!

You can find Great Tits anywhere! *

* If you look.

[Dayjo]

Great.

"Needless to say, we speak here not of any scenario involving carelessly-roosting chiropterine boudoir intruders inadvertently stifled by human female tophamper in a comedo-tragic cleavage mishap or similar. Rather, the "Great Tits" in question here are peckish birds - of the same ingenious family as the renowned cream-snaffling Blue Tits of old Blighty."

I did chuckle at this. Does sound like you write for Top Gear or something.

[Goatan]

Genius at work

comedo-tragic cleavage mishap

[Greg J Preece]

Killer Tits

For a minute there I thought this was going to be about Tits of Death:

http://www.titsofdeath.com

[Anonymous Coward]

Carlsbad chinese hat

Perhaps a Photo of Carlsbad Cavern's Chinese Hat Formation Would be appropriate Here...

(google image the title!)

Wheres the Boobies Icon??

[Anonymous Coward]

Suspected as much

Personally unsurprised to find that "the "Great Tits" in question here are peckish birds", given the non-lethal outcome detailed here: http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/1398528/Woman-finds-a-baby-bat-in-her-bra.html

[ElNumbre]

Knee Warmers

Tits like Coconuts - Perfectly acceptable.

Tits like Bats - No thank you.

Paris - Because I'm sure she could point out a man eating beaver.

[DafyddG]

Hungarians are not the only victims

Here in Wales we've also been victims of Great Tits - the weather brought them out in droves (is that the term - a drove of Tits?) - the beaches on Saturday around Barmouth were inundated with them. According to local news agencies, large numbers of males had to be treated for shock when a coachload of Great Tits hit the beach. Quotes like "you could have your eye out with them" were heard from temorarily blinded husbands as they were led away from the beach by their wives. I understand the female coach party was from Essex but that has yet to be confirmed.

[Anonymous John]

Tits?

<Reads story>

No point in asking for pictures or a Playmobil reconstruction then.

[Alan Esworthy]

spell checker failure

"Great Tits (Parus major)"

"Parus" indeed.

[Brad Ackerman]

IT?

Because someone's got to ask.

[gollux]

Introduce them to topless dancing...

They can make more money that way, and eat a whole lot better.

[Anonymous Coward]

"a drove of Tits?"

no - it's "a twittering of tits"

(not to be confused with "a tittering of twits)

[David John Walsh]

i thought the only tits in Wales

was those who pull you over :)

its a big horn

[Anonymous Coward]

This article makes no sense

Hungarian dictionary, please! My hovercraft is full of eels.

[Anonymous Coward]

killer tits

Indeed. I have a pair of them in front of me as i type.

she knows why

[Neoc]

Wot?

No "tit for bat" jokes?

[ElNumbre]

@Brad

Err, putting 'IT' in 'tITs'?

[King John]

tits

"Great Tits" "peckish birds" "cream-snaffling" "Tits of old Blighty "

[Anonymous Coward]

collective nouns

Still strugling with a collective noun for many great tits. However a single pair would have to be a flash?

[Alan Esworthy]

@collective nouns

The collective would be "a temblor of tits," naturally. Or unnaturally. Either way.

[lukewarmdog]

not that uncommon

Man eating tits can be found in many clubs up and down the country.

In some you can even find men eating tits.

So I've heard.