back to article Trucker prangs rig while cracking one off

Swedish police believe that a German lorry driver who crashed his vehicle near Borås earlier this week may have been off his box on drugs, according to the Borås Tidning newspaper. Suspicions that the unnamed 30-something trucker, who collided with the central reservation and flipped his vehicle, could have ingested illegal …


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  1. Anonymous Coward

    I assume

    he'll be doing hard time for this.

    Coat please...

  2. Hollerith 1

    If you are so off your head...

    ...that you have to keep on with the, erm, task in hand even while being hand-cuffed, you are far, far, too gone to be driving a vehicle.

    So, how to know when you are too zooped to drive? Answer this question: am I overwhelmed by the need to wank no matter what?

    If (yes) walk away romt he vehicle.

    If (no) please don't change that.

  3. lansalot

    what ?

    Wait - they cuffed him WHILE he was still masturbating ?

    High-five for the officer who managed that ! (Err, actually, no wait...)

  4. bondspice
    Paris Hilton

    oh god my eyes!!!!!!!!

    please no playmobil re-enactment [/boak]

    Paris knows the appropriate places to crack one off

  5. Ian Sawyer 1

    Mrs Palm and her 5 lovely daughters

    What a wanker

  6. Anonymous Coward


    was he on uppers?

    *grabs coat....leaves*

  7. Maverick

    listen it's Friday

    tip off? fnarr fnarr

    yes, the one with the pack of Kleenex in the pocket

  8. Pirate Dave Silver badge

    That's why they call it

    a stick shift.

  9. Mike Flugennock

    Wow; not an Australian this time!

    What is it with all these reports of guys being ticketed or involved in accidents in which they were DWM (Driving While Masturbating)? And, why always Australians, except for this one guy in Sweden?

    Has there really been an increase in incidents like these, or is it just a Reg thing?

  10. Anonymous Coward


    "He was masturbating while the police interrogated him."

    WTF - That is so wrong...

  11. Sergie Kaponitovicz

    There is an IT angle!

    Blimey Lester, a Haynes article all about a hard drive. Congratulations!

  12. Elmer Phud

    Good buddy

    "Come back, good buddy. What's your handle?"

  13. JohnG

    "sexual molestation"

    The German press reports that, when the driver was taken to a hospital to be checked out folowing the accident, he allegedly attacked a nurse, pinning her against a wall in the process. I guess that might account for the "sexual molestation" charge.

  14. Christopher Rogers
    Thumb Up

    Ah yes

    "a lap dance is so much better.." by the bloodhound gang comes in to mind. To be honest tho, a bucketload of double entendres can not do justice to what is an already hilarious situation.

    I bet it was the best w*** ever right up until the truck crashed itself.

  15. northern monkey
    Thumb Up

    @Mike Flugennock

    I was expecting exactly the same it - it shocked me that they came from this hemisphere, though I knew exactly who was responsible for the tip-off when I saw the precise geographic region

  16. Anonymous Coward

    That.... gonna be one hell of a come-down....

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Down

    I take it

    the moderatrix is out this afternoon?

  18. Haku

    What a prat

    He should have stopped somewhere inconspicuous to rub one out, like this guy did:

  19. Yorkshirepudding


    i must say im impressed its hard to bash one out even when drunk

  20. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

    Re: impressive

    Crack makes users super-horny though, doesn't it?

    Being on drugs, as far as I know, is not just like being drunk only more so. And they do tend to vary quite a lot. Some make you sleepy. Some make you crazy. Some make you want to give everyone a great big cuddle. And some make you want to say hi to your monster at inappropriate moments.

  21. frank ly

    @Sarah Bee re. Re: impressive

    "...say hi to your monster at inappropriate moments. "

    I assume this 'monster' of which you speak is a metaphysical/conceptual thing, like 'personal demons'.....

  22. The Dorset Rambler


    If (yes) walk away romt he vehicle.

    It's not easy typing with one hand, is it?

  23. James O'Brien

    @The Dorset Rambler

    Hell I do that all the time, hard to type with both hands when you have a beer in your other hand


  24. 2FishInATank

    re: What a prat

    <insert SUV drivers are wankers comment here>

  25. Richard Scratcher

    Feeling tired at the wheel? There's a nap for that.

    I don't understand why this chap didn't just pull off at the next services.

  26. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Down

    <No esta delo title>

    "I don't understand why this chap didn't just pull off at the next services."

    Being a long range truck driver he is probably paid 1p a year had has to keep driving the truck 48 hours a day to meet deliveries. That´s why he dident take a stop.

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