back to article Microsoft takes on Wet Willie's to punt Windows 7 in Paris

And so to Paris, where we find Microsoft getting in a froth about its upcoming Windows 7 launch next month by becoming a café owner to punt a slice of OS with its watery espresso. The software vendor will be peddling its operating system wares on the chic streets of France’s capital, where it plans to open a Windows Café on 22 …


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  1. Chris Simmons
    Jobs Horns

    Damn you Kelly, damn you

    A little sick? What kind of sadist are you?

  2. James 29
    Thumb Down


    That video should be banned, definitly cruel and sadistic punishment

  3. Anonymous Coward

    Oh for the love of...

    Can't be quite as bad as those awful Windows 7 launch parties! Have you seen the vids on YouTube, 7 mins of video telling sad lonely losers how to runt he world's saddest party ever!

    "Come round my house for a party! Yes, there'll be wine and nibbles. Why? Oh I'm installing a new operating system on my PC! *click* Hello? Hello?"

  4. Anonymous Coward

    O M F G !!!!

    Just watched that video while eating my lunch at work, BIG mistake - anyone wanna finish this sandwich? =O/

  5. Paul 131


    The result of a $300,000,000 advertising campaign?

    Open all Windows. Doorways may be crammed by folks trying to get out.

  6. Tim Croydon 1


    Verity Stob foresaw this last week, didn't she?

    I am not anti-Microsoft by any means, but they really have no clue about consumer marketing!

  7. Brutus


    I'm sorry, i could only manage 32 seconds of that video before I had to reach for the puke-pot! The reg hacks are obvioulsy made of sterner stuff.

    Does anyone know of a good keyboard deodouriser?

  8. Skizz

    Let me see

    Ethnic minority guy....check

    Old person....check


    Annoying sex-and-the-city attention seeking tart...check

    Shaky camera....check

    Breaking the fourth wall....check (take that Apple, hah!)

    I wonder how long before someone posts an edited version where the black guy's head is replaced with a white head (but leaving the hands/arms).


  9. Anonymous Coward

    Oh god

    I applied to host one of those parties, I only wanted the free software!

    Now I've seen the video, I'd rather pay for a copy of Windows than host one :/

    Anonymous as frankly, I don't want people to know I was going to host a hurlathon like that.

  10. Small Wee Jobbie


    Oh my God....that was so bad......and I only made it through the first minute....then I was sick

  11. Ian 25
    Gates Horns

    Goliath Books a Paris?

    I'm sure the cafe will have a very Goliath Books (Black Books 3) vibe....

  12. jackharrer


    Try this one instead, much much better ;)

  13. Snot Nice


    For the love of God someone please pass me a bucket.

    Make your party 'more creative'. Twister and baby oil.

  14. Anonymous Coward

    After seeing the video

    I am taking Windows off the machine and installing Linux

    It's the only language they will understand

  15. Big Cheese Jong Jong

    Do I really need a title?

    Rule of thumb to the director of the video, if you're going to make a video then please make sure that you don't have a digital (or even an analogue clock) showing in the background behind the actors as it only highlights the cut and paste editing or when they've had out-takes.

  16. Anonymous Coward

    Windows Party

    We've got an entertainer coming to our Win7 Party.. he does this act its called How 'To Install Ubuntu' its a pretty quick trick aparantly.

    (Unlike Win7 which they advise you start to install several days before your win 7 party...)

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton


    We had an office not far from there and I was told or warned or marketed at that the street of a thousand delights is not too far away. Could be a more rational decision as the clinic can sort out the resulting infection.

  18. Tim Parker

    2m 15s

    ...can anyone beat that ?

  19. Anonymous Coward

    Is this a piss take?

    Please tell me this was a joke.


    No really, ha ha ah ha, see I'm laughing 8-)

  20. Anonymous Coward
    Gates Horns


    Oh dear.

    I need a bucket.

    That's TERRIBLE!

  21. Samuel Deakin

    couple of days to install

    Quote "Make sure you install windows 7 a couple of days before the party", is that how it takes to install windoze HE :( I think I'll stick to linux...

  22. jam

    Thats the worst advert I've seen ... like ever

    OH my F in god!

    Have a party, let guests view your pictures... oooooppppps how did that one get in there? Show your friends how to use the basic featues of windows 7, after your done insulting the inteligence of any hardcore star trek fan you had at your party you put on your music from your mass storage device only for runtime errors to occur as patches are still being furiously written and released as fast as my stomach is releasing my vomit. Next you turn to the incredibly hot chick who's not there for windows 7 at all who promptly calls you a geek and leaves along with the majority of your guests. Next day the host is found swinging from the light fittings he/she has used their own keyboard as rope and below them on the floor is microsoft hosts schedule.

    So what do you want to do today?

  23. Anonymous Coward

    Can I be the only one?

    Where's the windows 7 party where they burn the software?

  24. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    3m 05s

    I was so stunned it was hard to reach for the pause button.

  25. fred slack 1
    Big Brother

    YIKES !!

    Does MicroSick think we are all banal, insipid sheep? What kinda mind would ever dream up something as cloying as this commercial. As long as they keep spending money on this kind of junk, hopefully, one day we'll see them in the bankruptcy courts.

  26. Scott 26

    camera shake

    FFS!!! Hold that fucking camera still......

  27. ElReg!comments!Pierre

    The whole 6:15!

    But I must admit that I was really reading the comments in another tab most of the time, so it might not count. Still feel sick. As a *NIX proselyte, I think I'll forward this vid to as many people as I can, with a simple "Do you really want to look -or sound- like that?".

    Well done Microsoft!

  28. Linbox

    Fox breakfast show - NYC

    "Good morning New York" showed this very video this morning, but explained "we had to turn the sound down because it was so bad, it'd send you to sleep". They were VERY dismissive and at the end of the piece, the main host said "that's so lame - they should get the guys who do the "I'm a Mac" adverts".

    I had to clean Muesli off my keyboard. I can't imagine how suicidal the MS advertising people must feel right now...

  29. Vaidotas Zemlys
    Gates Horns

    Reminded me of Soviet times

    Then in every book review you had to had a part where you analyze how this book shows the class strugle, and why imperialist bastards are bad. Did not matter what kind of book, without such review it could not be published.

    Host the party and do not forget to mention all the PR, microsoft marketing guys thought of. Watch the videos before hand and memorize. Sheesh.

  30. Charles Manning

    I'd rather watch Bill wiggling his bum. (1:24, so you don't have to watch it all).

    Apple make their customers feel superior.

    Microsoft make their customers feel like complete losers. How does that work?

  31. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    2nd try, I made it to 5 mins and discovered....

    At my party I can have 2 PC's and 2 of the guests can chat to each other via web chat.

    Thank you MS for bringing this brand new feature into the world, chatting at parties, who would have thought of that!!??

    Somebody pass the bucket

  32. Richard 102


    Now we know why there's an ammo shortage in the US: people are stocking up to take out these w@nkers.

  33. Anonymous Coward

    incomplete, surely

    Where's the Asian female, and the "differently enabled individual"? Why does the blonde woman keep giving telling looks to the black guy every time she says party?

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