Microsoft stalks, poaches Apple retail staff Microsoft is clearly not content with simply apeing Apple’s razzle-dazzle retail stores - it’s reportedly now trying to poach some of the iPod maker’s staff, too. According to the Loop, Redmond has got in touch with several of Apple’s retail bosses in an effort to woo them over to Microsoft’s forthcoming retail stores, which …
I'm sure all those Microsoft employees, sitting in badly ventilated offices, four to a desk, in a room designed for two (at most) will be most gratified to learn that their management continue to manage problems by flinging money at them.
As of the end of June, this year, there's 92,736 employees in that company (that's even after the 5000 that got sacked). I guess none of them could have run a shop, so they need to poach someone else's employees and pay them well over the existing rate? That's good business sense! I wonder if Balmer mentioned any of this, at the Town Hall Meeting, while he was busy pretending to stomp on phones?
CUSTOMER1: "My Windows Mobile phone keeps crashing."
GENIUS1: "Call the manufacturer or the network provider."
CUSTOMER2: "My wireless card doesn't work with my new router."
GENIUS2: "Call the manufacturer of the router. Or the manufacturer of the card. Or the manufacturer of the PC."
CUSTOMER3: "My tablet won't synch with my laptop."
GENIUS3: "You need to upgrade to Windows 7 Super Ultimate Professional with Lemon Fresh Scent. On both. That's $700."
CUSTOMER4: "The battery on my Zune just died."
GENIUS4: "You bought a Zune? Really?"
CUSTOMER5: "My XBox got hot, quit working, and then blew up, killing two children and a puppy."
GENIUS5: "Call the game company."
CUSTOMER6: "I can't get Office x to read files created with Office y."
GENIUS6: "You need to upgrade to Windows 7 Super Ultimate Professional with Lemon Fresh Scent. On both. That's $700."
CUSTOMER7: "The latest Windows upgrade bricked my iPhone."
GENIUS7: [TAKES iPHONE AND STOMPS IT REPEATEDLY] "Developers, developers, developers, developers!"
CUSTOMER7: "Hey, weren't you the monster in 'Young Frankenstein'?"
I tried to shop in the Apple store Kingston recently. Picked various items off display and looked around for someone to pay. Gave up and left after 5 mins since there was no sign of anyone taking money anywhere. Payment desks aren't cool I guess.
Why would Microsoft want to copy these muppets.
If Microsoft want a load of "edgy" ( polite term! ) looking, spotty herberts trying to sell their kit, then bloody good luck to 'em!
The only reason Apple stores work is 'cos Apple only have about 4 models of desktop to choose from, you hardly need a degree from MIT to work out what combo the customer has just brought in to the Apple store....meanwhile MS will have to deal with a billion different fun combos of PC and laptop hardware. Let's see BTEC Gary deal with that mess of botched up software and hardware that Mr and Mrs Average have just brought in, that little Johnny broke last week!
Oh sorry of course MS will simply do what all software companies do, "Sorry it's a hardware fault, better call XYZ and report it as a hardware fault. Sorry!"
Does this mean that the MSFT stores will be staffed with only the most cynical and mercenary ex-apple store employees whose loyalty can be bought?
Hey Reg? Considering how Bill's off saving Africa these days, maybe we can replace his icons with ones for Ballmer, who actually IS making these boneheaded moves? Maybe just a sweaty howler monkey...
This is standard type of behaviour for Microsoft. I remember years ago when Borland (remember them) had a developers conference for dBase developers Microsoft organised a bus to go out to the front of the convention center to take the developers attending the Borland conference to a 'secret' Microsoft FoxBase session.
It's the sort of way they work and one of the reasons why people think they way they do about Microsoft... hint - not nicely.
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Well, if you steal most of the ideas, why not go the whole hog and nick the people at the same time?
For personal reasons, I cannot give any details, but I've seen Microsoft do this before.
They would sell their own mothers if it meant keeping the monopoly alive and well.
OK Reg, enough kidding now, give us an evil Ballmer icon instead of that of the pensioner.
If I was an Apple Store employee and MS tried to poach me, I'd have to ask "What are you going to sell?"
I know it sounds obvious, but while the Apple store has an entire portfolio of own-brand hardware and software, MS has... what? Software boxes? Ok, except that most people buy Windows on a new machine, whether that be a desktop, laptop or phone. So are they going to sell other people's hardware? Will people go in and choose a particular machine from Dell or Sony etc? Will they turn into a phone reseller, signing you up to O2 like Apple do?
Ok, so the Zune will be in there, and the ZuneHD looks like it might be decent, plus there will be MS keyboards and Mice. What else?
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Wonder if my local bookies is offering odds on the exact time and date these are deemed to have 'failed'.
Mind you, thinking even more deeply, can Microsoft afford to ever acknowledge their failure. I'd expect that stores will quietly close starting in two years time when even Balmer will see it's not worth throwing a chair at anymore, but we'll see every excuse under the sun.
So, what you're saying with the well known popularity of the Zune over the iPod that MS are set to win with stores too?
Simple fact is MS has about as much "this is cool, lets buy this" cred as a very smelly wet fish.
Apple has one hell of a lot of credibility with customers/consumers right now. Whenever I hear about any normal (read: non-geek) person buying a music player it's always iPod and never any other brand.
People don't just buy iPod's because of some stupid "oh shiny", they buy them because a. they're actually very good (there's nothing else out there that comes close to an ipod touch) b. they're popular. (see a)
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