back to article Noel Edmonds brings Cosmic Order to the iPhone

iPhone users searching for meaning and direction in their sad and unfulfilled lives can rest easy, thanks to Noel Edmonds and his Cosmic Ordering application. Cosmic Ordering is the latest name for deciding what you want and then trying to achieve it, this time thanks to the awesome power of the cosmos as channelled through …


This topic is closed for new posts.
  1. Anonymous Coward
    Jobs Horns

    Taking your dosh? There's an app for that!

    I misread it and thought someone had brought out an app for comic ordering.

    That would have been more useful.

    I've said it before and I'll say it again, though. Only the gullible would spend £1.20 finding out what "the cosmos" thinks about their idea. But they've marketed it perfectly because only the gullible would get an exploding iPhone.

    Anon in case fanbois nearby and they decide my cosmic order has come to an end....

  2. Paul Naylor


    Noel Edmonds on my iPhone! My eyes! My beautiful eyes!!

  3. D@v3

    No, actually it is not....

    a garden gnome, it is in fact, Noel Edmonds

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    I think some people realise that they don't deserve the "success" they achieve so they look for external reasons. Scott Adams and his affirmations probably being the most famous example.

  5. TeeCee Gold badge

    Complete and utter Bullshit?

    There's an app for that.

  6. Stef 4
    Thumb Up

    Good luck to him.

    If people want to believe in that crud, and people like Edmonds are willing to make money from them, then good luck to him.

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Wedded bliss.

    What a cosmic conjunction: Noel Edmonds and the IPhone. Truly a marriage made in heaven; the greedy and the needy joined in unholy matrimony.All we need to know now is whether Jeremy Clarkson was the bridesmaid and what colour of dress he was wearing..

  8. Ian Chard

    The cosmos thinks you are a dick.

    You now owe me £1.20.

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    pik a box..pik a box

    pik a box show where single-cells "think" before deciding to pik a box..

    that and the days are getting shorter again no matter what i try out on the interweb.

    what is the cosmos coming to...

    Cosomoses the tru Greek !

  10. scrubber
    Jobs Horns

    Bashing the bishop

    from the Metro "...bishops have criticezed comparisons to the power of prayer."

    Surely that is exactly what the Jesus Phone needs!

  11. Chris Harrison

    Bloody Noel Edmonds

    I can't be the only one who wants to punch noel edmonds in the face and say 'you asked for that!'

  12. Peter Bullard

    Deputy Lieutenant of Devon - Noel Edmonds

    Register i am appalled please address his royalness correctly - Deputy Lieutenant of Devon - Noel Edmonds!

    Be careful of your mocking if your Devonshire folk otherwise the Dep wont open your local school fete or something even worse!

  13. Elmer Phud

    El-Ron on the cheap

    Well, that puts paid to having to spend thousands on books and gadgets to get a message from the Thetans. Now NoelE can hook us up directly (via electronic priests) to get the word from on high.

    Do they also have the number for The Great Spaghetti Monster, like to give it a bell to see how things are.

  14. Warhelmet

    Noel Edmonds' Parents

    Does it also ward off glowing spheres?

  15. Jolyon Ralph

    I checked this cosmic ordering out

    but they don't deliver to my postcode area

  16. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Down

    I'm an iPhone

    user and I don't feel my life is sad and unfulfilled.

  17. Gav

    35 years ago Noel Edmunds was cool

    You ignorant sceptics. The Cosmos wants everyone to be rich and famous and have their own game show on television. The Cosmos has existed for billions of years, and will exist for billions more. You need heaps of daytime telly to kill that kind of time. It's only people's rigid clinging to out-moded concepts like "logic" that's holding us back from this utopia.

    Anyone who wants to argue the difficulties of cramming 6 billion tv shows onto the one Sky+ box, is blind to the cosmic truth.

  18. omega
    Thumb Up

    @ Ian Chard

    Comment of the year! I would love to see the face of someone using this app & getting that response.

  19. Dave 135
    Dead Vulture

    @Bill Ray

    Leave Noel Edmonds alone, he's one of the few remaining icons of Entertainment. (OK deal or no deal is pish but then what isn't in the world of "light entertainment")

    It'll all be over when Brucey pops his clogs. End of an Era.

This topic is closed for new posts.

Other stories you might like