back to article Ballmer garnishes Bing 2.0 with iPhone 'stomp'

Microsoft has unveiled an upcoming date to Bing - and the first in an anticipated series of TV ads pimping Windows 7. Both were on display at yesterday's annual day out for Microsoft's 90,000 or so employees in Seattle, Washington. The third highlight of the employee meeting, according to reports and Tweets from the event, …


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  1. Richard Cartledge
    Thumb Down


    is a spent force.

  2. Anonymous Coward

    What a complete Wanker

    Does Ballmer realise what a fucking stupid wanker he comes over as?

    Pretending to stomp on someone's Iphone and taking the piss out of it is the sort of pathetic immature thing that bullies in school do. Is he the real life incarnation of Biff from Back to the Future?

    "Invest in Microsoft because I'm an immature wanker" is not my idea of a sales pitch.

    What's worse is that the KoolAid drinkers think its "cool". That is so pathetic.

  3. Anonymous Coward

    No Warning

    How dare you NOT place a warning about that advert. I'd just enjoyed a rather nice steak, and a couple of glasses of a nice red wine, and I nearly lost the lot. I do not expect to be traumatised like that when following links from El Reg.

  4. northern monkey

    I'm not sure I get their strategy here...

    "engine update will apparently combine maps that use Microsoft's Silverlight browser-based media player"

    According to their own claims MS want to get into web search in a serious way, rival google, etc. So why in attempting to enhance their search engine are they locking out anyone not using IE on one of the few supported platforms? Surely they don't think people will actually download IE (and, in the case of linux users, switch to windows) just so they can use bing when they're perfectly happy with google!?

    Well bye bye bing, I didn't use you while you lasted and I certainly won't now. They have moved through the motions of embrace extend extinguish far too fast and are just going to extinguish themselves!

  5. Herby

    Promises, Promises...

    "Bing 1.0 arrived in May, and Microsoft has promised two Bing updates a year."

    I can hardly wait. You know all about Microsoft's promised updates to Windows back when the version after XP was promised in oh, 2004 or so. Only to be delivered a few YEARS late.

    Now if they did operating system updates at a two-a-year pace they might keep up with the bugs (just remember, Windows doesn't have bugs!).

    Dream on.

  6. Lars Silver badge

    The shy guy

    I suppose Ballmer is just a very shy guy, and to hide it he need all the "dancing".

  7. BlueGreen

    Curious - did anyone else get this?

    Did my patch tue update, around 4pm IIRC, it offered me three high priority updates including one of IE8.

    Since when is IE8 high priority? Running the same update now shows a different set of updates, and IE8 has been moved to the optional list.

    It also didn't then have the malicious software tool on the list - it does now. Also odd.

    And while I take no notice of ballmer, but AC 18:58 - well, you said it.

  8. John P


    That is the most disgustingly sickeningly cutesy advert I have ever seen.

    I actually feel physically sick!

    Windows 7 is a good OS, but the Marketing is destined to fail miserably.

    Who are the 2 groups most likely to purchase Windows 7? Businesses and 'the man of the house', neither of which are going to be swung by some child pissing around with a laptop and a slideshow which looks like it was added in post.

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Jobs Horns

    The Final Countdown

    LOL! Anyone else notice that the Windows 7 ad busts out with the intro to the song The Final Countdown by Europe (a bad 80's band for anyone who doesn't remember)?

    Check out the Europe video:

  10. sun_god
    Thumb Down

    Three big thumbs down

    It's now clear that there is no god. Nor is there any intelligence in Microsoft's marketing department. Oi veyh.

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Gates Horns

    Who's to say...

    ...the stomp incident wasn't staged? Has MS made me cynical? Of couuuurse not.

  12. Tony Paulazzo
    Gates Halo


    That advert should be banned immediately on the principles it might engage the interest of a peado, and it's awful, just god-awful. PR execs get to live in big houses and drive nice cars coming up with this drivel? no wonder the world's fsck'd.

    Also, I'm no expert, but if she's like any of my nieces the background music would be Christine or Pink or Justin - which is what their (gack!) iPods are filled with.

    Saint Bill because MS are dying without him.

    What Ballmer needs to do: Sack the advertising agency responsible for that, have an extra install page that stresses the importance of basic user accounts, slim down IE8, allow addins (just found adblock for IE8 which helps), ensure Media Player can synch happily with iPod, sell a family 3PC license in the UK for £99 for Win7, buy out AVG or Avast (pref Bitdefender or Eset) or someone and build it into the core OS (so that the first ms you see isn't that your system is under threat) and beef up their firewall, and finally, sell one version of the OS - if you need bitlocker you can buy it as DLC, but backups should be for every system.

    IMHO of course.

  13. james newcombe
    Paris Hilton


    That's just the kind of guy I'd want as CEO of my businuess too. If I was Homer Simpson! You know if Microsoft actually invested in innovation and design, they might be able to release things that people actually want to buy.

    Paris? Oh just because.

  14. Anonymous Coward

    "Dance, Monkeyboy, Dance"

    Even though my ultimate boss has provided some well-reported public embarrassment on occasions (no, I am not a nipple tweaker for Paris, calm down), I still find Ballmer's antics alarming.

    The man's a bully- it's not normal to scream at your staff so much that you need throat surgery, not normal to throw chairs, not normal to cavort around in public like that unless you're a WWE wrestler. A head of a large technology company is not The Rock, and we do not want to smell what he's cooking (gah, sorry, that's a nasty thought).

    It would be too facile to use the phrase "coked up", as with his personal resources, he can probably afford far purer and more potent prescription pharmaceuticals (which completely avoids the risk, being legal). However, it would be charitable to assume that he is frequently off his skull in public, as the alternative is that the wretched man needs sectioning.

    Anyway.. I digress. It makes it very hard to present their products to a senior decisionmaker with a sraight face, in a week where they've let Ballmer out of his cake. Shit's gotta stop, yo.

  15. Bad Beaver
    Paris Hilton


    What's Bing again, I totally forgot...?

  16. Anonymous Coward

    Who made what?

    Did Microsoft, Kylie (girl in ad) or Snappy make the advert, it's rubbish. I hope they show it in the UK.

  17. mrweekender

    Holy shit....

    ....Steve Ballmer is a massive, sweaty, bell end.

    And yes it really is the final countdown, to Microsoft's oblivion - hopefully! That advert is balls, I'd expect the 5 year old in the ad to come up with something better than that using iMovie and a camcorder. 7, 7, 7, WTF!

    As has already been said, it's all looking a bit 1980's Mr Ballmer and I think you'll find the vast majority of the world (except you, your products, your unethical business practices and your shit marketing department) has grown up.

  18. Anonymous Coward
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    Horrible fat man

    What a complete and utter wanker.

    If he was British, he'd be working with Gordon Brown and Co.

    Aim, fire, hit foot = microsoft marketing under current baffon incumbent.

    Gates must be shaking his head in disbelief.

  19. Bilgepipe
    Gates Horns


    "Windows 7 - doesn't suck as much as Vista."

    I wish they'd dump that bouncing ball of stupidity, he's just embarrassing.

  20. Cameron Colley

    Worse than Balmer are the assholes cheering.

    I've never understood why people cheer for corporate leaders unless, of course, they've just given the workers a bonus or made a donation to charity. The morons cheering the greedy, sweaty and obviously mentally-disturbed leader of a company which has been abusing its marketing position to stifle innovation for years are the real problem here.

    I you want to use or code for Windows then bully for you, but why the fuck do you care about the company that made it? What the fuck does a moron dancing have to do with it?

    I bought a Nokia phone, and I like it, does that mean I have to go pray to the great gods of Nokia (I don't even know who the CEO is)? Should I now only buy Nokias every time and ignore the competition? Should I have "Nokia" tattooed on my arm?

    Product fanboys make me sick -- products and tools are there to be used an you should use the best one available at the time. MS, or any other company for that matter, couldn't give a fuck about you as long as you pay them.

  21. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Down

    It is all meant to be for internal MSFT consumption

    WHile I agree with nmost of the comments ehre about Ballmer and him being embarrasing you need to remember his session is aimed at the Internal Microsoft AUdience and is meant to be focussed on them.

    But yeh - he is a total w*****r

  22. magnetik


    "Growth hides mediocrity"

    Really? I think Microsoft's mediocrity has been in full view for a long time ..

  23. J 3

    Re:Gates must be shaking his head in disbelief.

    "Gates must be shaking his head in disbelief."

    Well, maybe not, considering the very bad ads he himself starred in with Seinfeld... OK, not as bad as whatever Ballmer does, but still...

    Gee, I didn't know that video for Europe's song... Almost as bad as the Windows 7 commercials, but at least the made me smile a little with a poodle band's antics and all that.

  24. Anonymous Coward

    Any ad...

    ...made after this pearl is a step backwards:

    Not only does it show the full potential of any OS (what is it after all but a fancy application launcher with a few bells and whistles that we don't really need) but also what Ballmer really is - a cheesy salesman.

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