back to article Swedish bloke attempts lactation

A Swedish dad who hopes he might in future be able to help out his missus in the breastfeeding department has embarked on a rigorous programme of moob-pumping to entice vital nourishment from his chest. Ragnar Bengtsson, 26, has begun "stimulating his breasts with a pump" at three-hour intervals, and will continue to do so …


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  1. Richard 81


    I echo a call by one of my fellow commentards when I ask for a mind bleach icon.

    Horrible, horrible thoughts.

  2. Anonymous Coward

    "Family Guy"

    There is a scene in Family Guy where Peter breast feeds Stewie. I'm sure the reaction of most people would be the same as Stewie's

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    Newborns are cute

    But I'd rather be 'milked' by Paris...

  4. Anonymous Coward
    IT Angle


    I just pictured this -

  5. Ruairi

    Talk about...

    ... Milking his media coverage.

    I'll get me coat.

  6. Anonymous Coward

    Whats the IT angle?

    Well? What is it?

  7. Rob

    Wow 2 firsts in 2 days...

    .... I thought I'd seen/heard it all and this comes along with a TV ad yesterday for fat free water!

    We are truly destined to become exstinct, the numpties out weigh the sensible surely!

    Mine's the one with the 'End is nigh' written on the back

  8. Anonymous Coward

    I just want you to know

    I didn't read this article.

    I didn't even click on it.

    I just typed the URL to get to the add comment page.

    Just because I want you to know that the idea of a Swedish bloke attempting to milk himself is a very disturbing image.


  9. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

    Re: Whats the IT angle?

    It's perpendicular to the angle of your man-cleavage, duhh.

  10. Marvin the Martian
    IT Angle

    "Anything that doesn't do any harm is worth trying out."

    That's almost as retarded as "anything that doesn't kill me makes me stronger".

    Eating hay with chocolate sprinkles, for example --- zero harm and zero point. I guess it's worth it if your time and live are worth nothing, possibly.

  11. Hate2Register

    THIS article is the winner of the..

    Imagine my surprise when THIS article was nominated for my inner shortlist for the most representative article ever on The Dead Bird.

    But then I thought, NO.

    That article is literature, comedy, art. A bit of fun.

    But then I thought, NO.

    It is a story about a guy playing with his nipples.

    But then I thought, NO.

    And then I stopped thinking.

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    I don't see what's wrong

    As our breasts' primary function is to feed the young

    (distracting males especially of the geek variety is just a nice bonus.)

    what is wrong with a father doing his best to feed his child?

    If Paris, I and the few other women on here can do it why shouldn't guys?

    Come on guys are you going to finally admit that there's something we mere girlies can do that you can't?

  13. LuMan
    Paris Hilton

    Who's problem?

    So, this guy thinks that the problem is with other people when he boob-pumps during lectures.


    I'm going to knock one out*, right here in the office, while surfing - if any of the women (or men) at the desks near me find this in any way distasteful, it's obviously their problem... jeez!

    Paris, 'cos, well, I need to warm up a bit first......

    *Yes, this means w-nk. At least I'll produce *some* milk.

  14. Anonymous Coward

    This guy

    must be a right tit

  15. Sarah Davis


    i don't normally laugh at the mentally ill - will he wear a feeding bra ?

  16. regadpellagru
    Paris Hilton


    "Women breastfeed after they've been bathing in estrogen during a nine month pregnancy, so obviously it takes some time."

    Indeed. How anyone bathing in testosterone and with no estrogen whatsoever is supposed to reach the same state is largely beyond me.

    What a loony. He'd better prepare syringes with massive doses of estrogen as a contingency plan to his missus being out. Bottom line is his shape and mindset would change a wee bit :-)

    As Rob said, "We are truly destined to become exstinct".

    Paris icon, as she doesn't need more estrogen ...

  17. Miss B

    dont see the problem....

    whats the problem here? so a man has found a use for his moobs. Lets face it, they are becoming much more commen.

    maybe this is just evolution...... and its about time I say.

    And its still not as bad as the woman that breast feeds her cat......

  18. A J Stiles

    Yes, it works

    Yes, it works. What are you getting so surprised over? Breast tissue is breast tissue. It produces milk when given the correct stimuli. In a man, it just doesn't usually get those stimuli.

    Men and women have 45 out of 46 chromosomes in common, for crying out loud. We are not different species!

  19. peyton?

    So part of his argument is

    Mom's gone... can't find the pacifier... and presumably, if, erm, dad breast feeding is the only remaining option, then there's no *#@$#!@$!$ bottle or food in the house for the kid either?!

    Methinks his priorities are a tad off.

  20. Evil Auditor Silver badge

    "Some people think it's completely sick."

    Yes, I.


  21. Lionel Baden

    heh heh

    Good on him the Sick bastard !! (could never do that myself !! just kinda wrong)

    but why on earth would he try and destroy the Best excuse not to get up in the middle of the night !!!!

  22. Colin 4


    obviously skipped biology class.

    although if he tries hard enough he might get some blood out ...

  23. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Soon to be on Channel 4 no doubt

    Lactating Vikings - sounds like an indie band to me.

  24. Bassey


    If he really wants to get closer to his children at an early age could he maybe just try singing, reading, playing, the odd cuddle? No? Really? Sorry.

  25. ElizaF

    Another stupid man gets it wrong

    It would be far more helpful to his wife if this numbnut took over his fair share of the cleaning, cooking, shopping and other household tasks than trying to squeeze a couple of drops out. You would be amazed how easy it is to breastfeed after having a meal cooked and a bath poured for you.

    From someone who has actually bloody done it!

  26. Deckchair


    @Hazel Rees

    I can't give birth either, or shop for shoes for 4 hours.

    @Colin 4

    As other commentards have mentioned, men can and do lactate. Its not a function of gender. Perhaps you should go back resit your biology class. Oh and listen this time.

  27. steogede

    He is looking at this the wrong way

    Growing the moobs isn't the difficult bit - it's getting rid of them that's going to cause him problems. I reckon it's just an excuse to drink more beer and eat more kebabs.

  28. Anonymous Coward

    its friday...


    *grabs coat*

  29. Pyros
    Thumb Down

    ...he forgot something.

    Estrogen hormonal treatments.

    Lots of it.

    There's no way a man can lactate--it's primarily a hormonal response triggered by estrogen. (This is also why women have those growths on their chests, too--it's called an organic production & storage facility for human milk.)

  30. Alex 32

    ... oh.. God!

    "We have no doubt Reg readers will await the result of Bengtsson's child-rearing initiative with keen interest. "

    Fuck off!!!

    No we won't!!

    Bad bad BAD El Reg!!

    Beer, quick, before the memory receptors start to get going...


  31. Anonymous Coward

    Man milk = bad, moo milk = good?

    It's at times like these I reflect on the inherent wrongness of drinking cow's milk. It's from a COW'S FRIGGING TITS, FFS!

    Would you get down on hands and knees and suckle on a cow? You're happy enough when it's bottled...

  32. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    women and men

    There was a Woman's Hour thing about this idea last Friday on Radio 4 - a woman was on who had breastfed her surrogate child, and what she had to go through was, according to the experts on the show, the same as what a man would. Largely, take a birth control pill with lots of oestrogen for many months, and eat food with some helpful nutrients (possibly fenugreek was mentioned?); and lots of pumping.

    There was also mention of it being not unheard of for men to breastfeed somewhere in Southern Africa, where it was regarded as pretty impressive in a man. I missed the explanation of how those men managed, presumably without artificial hormone supplements.

  33. Anonymous Coward

    Erm ...

    Lactation in men is very, very bad -- its INVARIABLY a symptom of male breast cancer (yes its possible but very rare and almost always fatal).

    But that apart, its completely nucking futs.

  34. Eden
    Thumb Up

    @ Man milk = bad, moo milk = good?

    I love Milk, as long as it's from the Female of the species, Bulls Milk I'm not so sure I'd be happy to chow down with my Maryland cookies....

  35. Blue eyed boy
    Thumb Up

    Each to his own

    If this guy finds it so titillating, I say good luck to him. For the rest of us, yes, feel free to milk it for all it's worth.

  36. A J Stiles

    Evolution in action

    Gender diamorphism in humans actually serves little purpose since the Industrial Revolution -- arguably, since the Agricultural Revolution even. In a few thousand years' time, the sexes will be barely distinguible.

    Even before that, people will get sex-change surgery for a job interview the way they get a haircut today -- and if they get it done privately, it'll all be fully fuctional.

  37. Jemma

    ...Road to nowhere

    I know more about hormones of the feminine variety than anyone should ever need to - I very very much doubt that this poor nerk is going to get anything out of this but moobs down to his knees (bad image rofl)

    The only way this would work is if the stimulation causes Luteinising Hormone to be released and even then I am not sure it will work without oestrogen being present... and he's not gonna like the side effects of that...

    Does remind me of the joyous dad feeds baby scene on family guy ...

    ... no stewie griffin icon ...

  38. J 3


    "As other commentards have mentioned, men can and do lactate."

    Well, we normal men don't, specially not in a quantity that would feed a baby. Just massaging/pumping his moobs won't get him much (maybe some good times, if he's into that). As mentioned above, there are reasons for them stupid hormones -- and the article does not mention him taking a bunch of them. Anyway, let him try, nothing wrong with that.

  39. kain preacher


    Thats what he needs to breast feed. That can be obtained by certain motion sickness meds .

    oestrogen wont help like you think it will. That well just make him grow boobs, Now if he takes massive amounts of oestrogen then stops, that will raise his prolactin level and you get milk.

  40. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    And on top of that...

    This guy blogs about it! (in swedish)

  41. Blue eyed boy

    Keep us informed

    Can you keep us informed of any developments to this story please? Any feedback that may be forthcoming, or whether it turns out to be a dry run.

  42. Anonymous Coward

    RE: Man milk = bad, moo milk = good? #

    Look up the word "pasteurization" at some point for a really good reason not to do this... besides, the cow might object...

    All that aside though, have you ever eaten an egg? If you have a problem with cow's milk, you don't even want to know where those come from!

  43. Jeffrey Nonken
    Thumb Down

    @lionel baden

    "but why on earth would he try and destroy the Best excuse not to get up in the middle of the night !!!!"

    How's that? I used to get up and bring the baby in for her. What excuse would that be, again? Oh, "I'm too friggin' lazy and selfish to help you raise this child." THAT one.

    P.S. The use of four exclamation marks is obviously the sign of a sick mind. You should get help for that.

  44. skeptical i
    Thumb Up

    Whatever turns his gears ...

    If Senor Mjolkmannen wants to give breastfeeding a whirl, power to him. My recollection of high school biology is quite dim, but I seem to recall that estrogen, progesterone, leutenizing hormone, and follicular something else were part of the female pregnancy/ lactating hormonal roller coaster and so Milkman will have a tough row to hoe without some chemical assistance (maybe HIS mum has some menopausal HRT pills?). Agree with Eliza, though, in that keeping the house clean, the laundry done, the meals made, and the bills paid while Mum recuperates will be infinitely much more useful than tag- teaming on breastfeeding.

  45. Maty


    Please. Just. Stop.



  46. Matthew 4
    Thumb Up


    like #2 said, reminds me of that family guy episode :)

  47. Syneil

    Why not?

    Science for science's sake I suppose, but I don't object to that. I'll be interested to know if it works. If I'm ever cursed with a crapping, pissing, snot-dribbling oik (i.e., child) I'd quite happily hand over a nipple to shut its whinging up. If it got some milk from it, good for it (although possibly not so good for me; see previous breast-cancer comment [Greg Fleming Posted Friday 4th September 2009 14:57 GMT]).

    "All hands man the pumps" hahaha

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