back to article Loch Ness Monster surfaces on Google Earth

Scotland's Loch Ness is doubtless braced for a stampede of Nessie-spotters after a reader of UK tabloid The Sun provided Google Earth evidence of the existence of the Scottish lake's elusive leviathan: Loch Ness showing possible Nessie sighting A closer look (.kmz here) reveals the astounding truth: A close-up of the …

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  1. Anonymous Coward
    WTF?

    Its a boat...

    Or a giant squid.

    But cleary - its a boat with either 2 or 3 props on the back just starting up and causing a wake.

  2. Anonymous Coward
    FAIL

    *Sigh* its a boat.

    Unless nessie is powered by outbaord motor. At planing speed hence the set back bow wave.

  3. Martin Lyne

    Clearly

    Clearly a squared off back and a wake. Who's first reaction is "monster" then "maybe it's a boat on this famous tourist attraction". Sigh.

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Its a bloody boat

    Sorry thats a boat....

    The limbs just look like the wake coming off the back of it....

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Welcome

    Cthulhu fhtagn!

    Nessie? No way. It's the Great Cthulhu!

    I, for one, welcome our new Old One overlord (who in fact, always was).

  6. Anonymous Coward
    FAIL

    Fail

    Obviously just a RIB with a wake behind it???

  7. Michael Smith
    Black Helicopters

    Looks more like a squid to me

    Maybe we have been wrong about the monster all along?

  8. PJ H
    FAIL

    Sun readers...

    "Eagle-eyed security guard Jason Cooke, 25, from Nottingham, enthused [in The Sun]: "I couldn't believe it. It's just like the descriptions of Nessie.""

    Idiot.

  9. Anonymous Coward
    WTF?

    ne fule kno...

    clearly this is nessie, you can tell by the pixels.

    or a boat.

    PS. Let me be the first to welcome our wake making overlords.

  10. SteveK

    Here be titles

    "It's just like the descriptions of Nessie"

    Really? I always understood Nessie to be .. well, more sea-monster-like, and less boat-shaped.

    Steve.

  11. lansalot

    errrr

    Sorry, local hotel-owners. I call boat/wake on that one...

    Actually, it's a bit late in the season to be Nessie-spotting anyway. You really need to get these done around March/April time, so as to hook the summer traffic. Poor show, hotel owners !

  12. Anonymous Coward
    FAIL

    No it bloody isn't

    >"It's just like the descriptions of Nessie."

    NO IT BLOODY ISN'T you completely blind hysterical deslusional sod, since when the fuck was Nessie supposed to look like a giant squid? Cretin.

  13. vishal vashisht
    Pirate

    looks like a boat to me..

    pirates!!!

  14. P Saunders
    Paris Hilton

    eagle eyed?

    My first thought was "Oh look, a boat."

    Paris, 'cause even she knows what a boat looks like.

  15. Hollerith 1

    It's obvious...

    ...that it's a giant virus. Look at the flagella whipping the water. Clearly a giant invasion of something or other from outer space, swimming straight for the great hubs of our current civilisation, e.g. Inverness.

    I for one, etc.

  16. BenN
    Black Helicopters

    And on Google Maps...

    For thos without Google Earth installed...

    http://maps.google.com/maps?f=q&source=s_q&hl=en&geocode=&q=loch+ness,+scotland&sll=57.214761,-4.570479&sspn=0.002208,0.004801&ie=UTF8&cd=1&rq=1&ev=zo&radius=0.09&ll=57.214369,-4.570436&spn=0.002208,0.004801&t=h&z=18

  17. Tim Bergel
    FAIL

    What?

    > "I couldn't believe it. It's just like the descriptions of Nessie."

    No it isn't. If anything that looks like some sort of squid, whereas all the descriptions of Nessie talk of an animal with tail, (usually) four legs with flukes and a head on a long neck - no head & neck in that pic.

    Anyway it looks just like a boat & wake to me...

  18. Dave 64
    Coat

    bullseye

    In the words of the great Jim Bowen: "It's a speedboat"

  19. Josco
    FAIL

    It's a boat, any one can see that!

    It's also a quiet Friday.

  20. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Down

    All hail the miracle of Google Earth

    First it detects an invasion of giant insects, then it solves the mystery of UFOs, then it finds Atlantis, and now the Loch Ness Monster, all without stopping the steady stream of giant, rude graffiti. Is there nothing Google Earth can't do on a slow news day?

  21. Rob
    WTF?

    Confusing

    I can see how it would be confused with Nessie if you've never seen a boat before.

  22. RichardB

    maybe a boat - but

    ... what about the long object up and to the right of the arrow tail?

  23. Graham Bartlett
    Linux

    Eh?

    "Just like the reports?" Last I heard, Nessie was supposed to be a plesiosaur kind of thing. That looks like a giant albino squid. Of course, a giant albino squid could well live in Loch Ness - there's no less evidence for that than there is for the plesiosaur, after all.

    (And that's not a penguin, it's a plesiosaur with a grin.)

  24. James Farrell
    Welcome

    That's not Nessie

    Its the Flying Spaghetti Monster!

  25. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    If...

    If we ended the lives of all the bellend Sun readers like Jason Cooke, 25, from Nottingham and dumped the bodies in Loch Ness, would the floating corpses spell out "STUPID" when viewed from the air?

    Enquiring minds demand answers.

  26. The First Dave
    Boffin

    Idiots

    I checked Nessie's shared calendar, and it stated that she was visiting Norway that week, so she wasn't even in the loch when that photo was taken. (You do know that it is connected to both the Irish and North Seas?)

  27. m_fkill
    FAIL

    Isn't that a boat?

    Nessie is a bit to the left

  28. Rod MacLean
    FAIL

    El Reg has goofed here

    The thing with the arrow pointing at it is a BOAT.

    The supposed image of Nessie is to the left and slightly up and looks like two large wakes which are not caused by anything visible in the image.

    You've cocked up and so now I'm cancelling my subscription!

    Nessie was actually spotted for real last week at a BBQ. Elvis was singing as Michael Jackson and Lord Lucan took rides around the garden on her back...

  29. Raspy32

    Haha....

    Even worse that the guard...."Researcher Adrian Shine, of the Loch Ness Project, told the paper: "This is really intriguing. It needs further study.""

    Err.....save your time and money mate....it's a boat.

  30. Peter Ford

    Not Nessie, but much scarier!

    Looks more like a squid than a plesiosaur: every time I saw Nessie she was a dark colour that wouldn't show up on a Google Earth photo very well.

    'Course, it could be a rare albino Nessie...

    Or worse (looking squid-like) ... no that's too horrible to contemplate...

    Really, it just looks like a pale-coloured motor boat with a couple of waves of breaking wash trailing behind it.

  31. Dave 64
    Coat

    bullseye

    In the words of the great Jim Bowen: "It's a speedboat"

  32. ilikejam

    Boat

    Boat.

    I've said 'boat' in my head too many times and now the word's lost its meaning.

    Boat. Boat. Boat? Boat. Booooooooat. Boaaaat. Boat. Nope. Nothing.

    I want to go home.

  33. DaveEdi
    Happy

    Lock Ness Easter Bunny

    There is no monster. It's a bunny wabbit.

    http://picasaweb.google.co.uk/lh/photo/R0IUGnQhT9cp0bxWeD6RHQ?feat=directlink

  34. Andy Livingstone

    I'd rather believe

    in the existence of Nessie and flying saucers than in the existence of one iota of common sense in the whole of Whitehall.

    After all, Nessie is seen more often.

  35. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Down

    oh noes! monsters!

    check out the Thames,and other popular bodies of water there are some really big "monsters" in there, they must be attracted by all the humans.

  36. The elephant in the room
    Paris Hilton

    Bat-eyed more like

    With observation skills like that I bet when this security guard isnt misinterpreting aerial photos he spends his time harrassing "terrorist" photographers while right in front of his nose men wearing black & white stripey tops & eye masks load whatever he's supposed to be guarding into bags labelled "swag".

    Paris, because she can tell the the difference between a monster tentacle and a boatload of seamen.

  37. Anonymous Coward
    FAIL

    Welcome...?

    I, for one, (don't) welcome our brain-dead, blind, tabloid-thumbing, retarded security guards who can't tell a shitty little boat from a (supposedly) bloody great big aquatic dinosaur. After all, why would a boat be out on a loch....? Twat.

    I really hope, for the sake of humanity, that this man hasn't yet had the opportunity to procreate, nor will he ever. Why is the world so full of total morons!?

  38. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Not Nessie

    That's not Nessie, that's The Spaghetti Monster. This is Nessie: http://www.bing.com/maps/default.aspx?v=2&FORM=LMLTCC&cp=57.378094~-4.343183&style=a&lvl=19&tilt=-90&dir=0&alt=-1000&phx=0&phy=0&phscl=1&encType=1

  39. alan 39
    Thumb Up

    Damn right its a boat

    But you guys all missed the fact that nessie was driving (piloting) it :)

    Alan

  40. dervheid
    Stop

    IT'S

    A

    BOAT

    FFS!

    Someone should've gone to Specsavers!

  41. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Could it be...

    A giant mutant sperm, perhaps?

  42. Graham Marsden
    Coat

    The Flying Spaghetti Monster...?

    ... shurely that's its cousin, the Swimming Spaghetti Monster!

  43. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    You guys are all wrong

    Its white--its in the water--IT MUST BE MOBY DICK!!! That crafty whale is clearly taking a shortcut between the Irish and North Seas by going through the Loch. The fact that he made it into Britain undetected would be in keeping with the usual level of professional competence I keep hearing attributed to Her Majesty's immigration officials.

    You can mail me the requisite $20 Spanish gold piece to me care of Ishmael, Spouter's Inn, Nantucket Massachusetts, United States of America.

    Mines the oilskin jacket draped over the casket-shaped lifebuoy

  44. Steve Brooks

    Bing (Crosby) maps FAIL!

    "This is Nessie: http://www.bing.com/maps/default.aspx?v=2&FORM=LMLTCC&cp=57.378094~-4.343183&style=a&lvl=19&tilt=-90&dir=0&alt=-1000&phx=0&phy=0&phscl=1&encType=1"

    Ok so just for the heck of it I checked it out, Bing Maps, hah. I think its called Bing maps because the (low resolution) maps were relevant when Bing Crosby was a big star, now they just show old roads that either no longer exist or have been replaced by 6 lane highways, so its hardly going to be a useful tool to spot anything that happened in, say, the last 30 years!

  45. David Walker

    Clearly a sperm

    Anonymous coward is correct - it is clearly a giant sperm - although sadly extra flagella are a sure sign of genetic defects. Makes me wonder what the Scots are up to in the lake. Had the same problem with a hot tub in a condo I used to live in - always closed off when the sperm count got too high....

  46. Mark Wills
    WTF?

    Progress

    Clearly Nessie has moved into the 20th (or 21st) century and embraced fossil fuel powered combustion engine based outboard motors. Smart.

    The fact that the bloke is a total dick is obvious. The fact that the SUN published it, tells you all you need to know, about it, and its readership.

    So, beloved El Reg, why did you go with it? Honestly, can't we just ignore these idiots, maybe they'll go away?

  47. Alex 3
    Flame

    FOOLS!

    Der.....

    It is clearly the monster - whoever says it is a boat is talking out of their ass. Everybody KNOWS the monster is REAL, boats are NOT REAL.

    Those pointing out is a boat really need to get their eyes examined....

  48. Max_Normal

    But we are surrounded by REAL monsters. You only have to look.

    Those Reg readers interested in cryptozoology might also be interested in two nests of mighty silver birds that were recently discovered by a Scotsman visiting the south of England, one near Gatwick in Sussex, the other near Heathrow.

  49. Witty username
    Black Helicopters

    Its a weather balloon

    You saw nothing. go back to sleep.

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