back to article Not now darling I'm twirping

Baroness Susan Greenfield, head of the Royal Institution and occasional star of Ben Goldacre's Bad Science column, has dramatically claimed, via the offices of the Daily Mail, that social websites harm children's brains. I think the Baroness misses a trick. Children are not the problem in my experience. My difficulty is the …


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  1. Zid


    I definitely feel stupider after reading that.

    It's just a bit of fun.

  2. Peter Fox



  3. Steve Foster


    Funniest. Stob. evva.

  4. Anonymous Coward


    It reminds me of this one time at band camp...

  5. deadlockvictim
    Thumb Up


    Thanks for this, Verity. If only social networking sites were as amusing.


  6. Anonymous Coward


    I could actually feel my IQ being sucked out of my brain by that. I may have fallen off a seat as well, but I'm too thick now to figure out which way's up and what a chair is.

    I think I'll buy an iPhone...

  7. The First Dave


    Nobody liked this article.

    Seriously, I nearly rated it as 'Terrible' just to be ironic!

  8. Raspy32


    It is a pretty good representation of the sort of inane drivel found on most social networking sites. Suddenly people seem to think that anyone in the whole world cares if they take a slight stumble on a raised paving slab making them look a bit silly to the two people within sight at the time.

    But then, it's just a bit of fun!

  9. Frumious Bandersnatch


    Nobody found this funny.

  10. Ralph Hodgson

    I'm just....

    ...getting my coat!

    Sweet! Twirp me, be my friend, 2 more and I'll be the Megarifistic Friend Twirper on t'internet Evvvvah!.

  11. Woodgar

    <insert title here>

    What happpend to Jeff, we must be told.

  12. Anonymous Coward


    what now?............

  13. thomas k.
    Thumb Up

    Is it a tom?

    No, I've browt it wi' me.

    You owe me a new keyboard, Verity.

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    <Meaningless post body placed here only because The Reg won't let me post a title without a body>

  15. Evil Auditor Silver badge


    My first comment didn't make it through the tough Reg review, obviously. And it doesn't really surprise me. Maybe I should have "iconed" it as a joke (or grenade)? But than again, was it that much of a joke? So I give it another try.

    A revealing reading indeed! Hope not too many of those twirpees do reproduce. Think about the children! Well, they would be just like the kids today, wouldn't they?

    EA. the name says a bit or the other.

  16. Mike Thompson

    Ha, Stob's a Web2.0 suck-up!

    Please let this be satire. Sadly, it's a lot like my interactions with Web2.0, which is why I've been very careful about screening new followers on Twitter who aren't obviously in IT or otherwise engaged in intelligent activities.

  17. danny_0x98

    FB-related FB

    I'm tempted to link to this, though no one ever likes or clicks through.

    Still, as my friends have no clue what I'm talking about when I make faux wisdom coinages such as "It takes a lot of semi-colons to write a C program," this is likely to be the best opportunity to share with them a favorite humorist and superb writer.

  18. gollux

    And our company...

    is so desperate that they are considering Twirping as a forward looking plan for helping improve the SEO on our website. Now that really sucks the IQ points as you're hearing it explained.

  19. Aaron Em

    Perfect as always

    This is why nobody much minds going three months or more between Stob articles -- while I'll grant it may seem that's just because nobody much notices or cares whether Ms. Stob has turned in anything recently or not, but in fact it's actually because we're all so thoroughly comforted by the knowledge that we'll be blown right out of our socks when Stob finally comes through.

    Now I think about it, it's sort of the Twitter-antithesis, isn't it? You wait for it, and then when it arrives there's actual substance there! Well done that Stob!

  20. Aaron Em


    ...why Chip Rowe, though? The man doesn't appear to have had a fresh thought since around 1990.

  21. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    @Aaron Em

    I mind. More, godamit!

  22. Phil 2
    Thumb Up


    I signed up for Twerper a few weeks ago. I have never posted anything, but I have quite a lot of followers. I wonder if they're disappointed?

  23. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    "Is it a tom?"

    I liked this.

    I thought it was funny.

    So I posted a comment.

  24. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


  25. bob, mon!

    @Mike Thompson

    No, this surely isn't satire. I looks entirely matter-of-fact to me. Notice the timestamps!

    SWEEEEEeeeet! Woohoo!

  26. frank ly


    I could feel the IQ points being sucked out of me as I read it. Eeeeew ! (I'm worried for Verity if she actively joins in with this sort of thing).

  27. Bob Douglas

    Spot on quiz

    Just the sort of inane quiz certain people I might be related to are always taking

  28. alyn

    Well, I thought it was funny

    In the same vein - A Yorkshiremans advice to his son.

    "See all, hear all, say nowt,

    eat all, drink all , pay nowt.

    and if ever tha' does owt for nowt

    Allus do it for thisen."

    If you need an english translation, I can provide one

    Al sithee

  29. Michael Wojcik Silver badge
    Thumb Up

    periodic table, Facebook edition

    Actually, I believe metal is one of the five "elements" in Tao, so that quiz answer wasn't completely without precedent. Still stupid, of course.

    If Verity were an element, she'd be amusing-and-trenchant-commentary-on-the-foolishness-around-us.

    Er, -ium.

  30. James Anderson

    Is it just me?

    I get a gruesomly wonderful Google add for sheep killing machinery from somewhere in china at the top of the Google Adds.

    Verity: I really liked your twerp about the Radhish in your teeth. Could you post a phota!

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