Labour party unveils Tweeter-in-chief

The Labour Party has appointed a 'Twitter tsar' to spearhead its social media efforts to win the next election. But Kerry McCarthy has her work cut out for her, given the kicking Gordon Brown got for his YouTube appearances, and the fact that Labour HQ can't be bothered keeping its own blogs up to date. McCarthy is Labour MP …

[seanj]

It will achieve only one thing...

...the Labour tripe being spouted will push Twitter well beyond the recent statistic of 41% of all Twitter content being pointless babble.

Why not give up on all this Web 2.0 bandwagon jumping, and try to actually provide a policy the people of the UK might actually benefit from?

[Lionel Baden]

cant wait

to get arrested and only to be told its a new law they told everybody via twatter !!

[TeeCee]

"...named most influential MP on Twitter..."

But named as "Kerry who?" by everyone else......

[Bob Wheeler]

Preaching to the converted

OK, I'm dumb, I've never used or looked at twatter, or twitter whatever it's called. But is this not "communicating" only with those that actually already want to hear your message?

So this helps how?

[Karim Bourouba]

@seanj

agreed.

Twitter et al are just excuses for people to avoid doing work in the real world. Why should the government be allowed to benefit from the same work avoidance techniques the rest of us use?

[Anonymous Coward]

*sound of jaw hitting floor*

Oh ffs....

That must have been an interesting day in the Govt's life. I can just see them all sat around their little tables saying "what shall we do today Gordon? Work towards a happier world? Get our fingers out and do something sane about renewable energy? Naaa, f*ck it, let's nominate someone to push Twitter".

Is there really any wonder why this country is in a mess and getting deeper into the mire every day? We're being run into the ground by an unelected PM and his unelected lying scumbag mates and what can they do for us.... give us a Twitter Tsar.

A Twitter Tsar? A woman who has the time to post utter tripe 10 times an hour? Well, she really must have a f*ck of a lot to do in her job.

"Dear Labour Party - GET A F*CKING GRIP!!!!!

Yours despairingly

Britannia"

[Anonymous Coward]

Quick question

Is this going to be another salaried position?

[Anonymous Coward]

re: *sound of jaw hitting floor*

"A Twitter Tsar? A woman who has the time to post utter tripe 10 times an hour? Well, she really must have a f*ck of a lot to do in her job."

Maybe her attention was so preoccupied on twittering that it caused the 'clerical' error she made for claiming two beds for a one bedroom flat, one of which wasn't actually delivered(http://www.thisisbristol.co.uk/news/Bristol-MP-claimed-second-bed-bedroom-flat/article-1014679-detail/article.html).

For those wondering, she was parachuted into a safe Labour seat and has never rebelled.

[Paul 4]

*sound of jaw hitting floor*

Garg.... Look up how our electorial system works then come back.

[RichyS]

Sad descent

So, we can now expect complex political arguments to be communicated in 140 characters or fewer.

Great.

We might as well sign the whole sodding election process over to Simon Cowell and be done with it. Government by the lowest common denominator.

I despair.

[Anonymous Coward]

Lost me at ...

... new junior whip! One of the most dire problems with UK politics ...

Lets not mention how f&*king incompetent the local council is Bristol is ... The mind truly boggles as to how they could spin social media.

Which gets me onto the another problem with UK politics ... SPIN ... ~wretch~

/rant

[Anonymous Coward]

Every little tweet helps to keep us safer.

I am surprised and disappointed by the derisory tone of this article which implies that the Minister for Tweeting is engaging in mindless chitchat every sixth minute of her working day.

Nothing could be further from the truth. The minister is, in fact, actively participating in Beta testing of the IMP communication surveillance program which has now entered its 'stress-testing' phase. This will require us to generate the maximum amount of traffic in order to test the robustness and resilience of the system.

It is the patriotic duty of every citizen to contribute to this effort by sending as much information as possible to the data cloud. We do appreciate that despite the total fuck-up we have made of the economy some people still have real jobs and consequently don't have time to generate manual data. In such cases we recommend using the excellent Firefox extension, TrackMeNot which will generate lots and lots of spurious queries to search engines. Do it for Britain. Protect us from terrorists.

A.N.Other government twat.

[Anonymous Coward]

Wait for Politicians?

"I think the key point for my colleagues to take away is that this is the first election where people don’t have to wait for politicians to come to them – to knock on the door, to deliver a leaflet or to do an interview."

I can assure Kerry Whatshername that I never wait for politicians to come to my door. At the first sight of an election my door is firmly shut.

[Ian McNee]

"Government Has Top Twat"

And that's news how?

However, £64k (presumably more for being Top Twat) for a turd-spurt of ten twats an hour? As Yosser used to say: "I can do dat! Gissa job!"

[Adam Foxton]

@Paul4

We vote for a party based on their aims and claims for future stuff or how much they say they'll save us from the nasty terrorists or whatever.

The leader of the most voted for party- even if it's a minority of the country voting for it- traditionally becomes Prime Minister.

So the problem is that Labour, while they seem to have gotten in place perfectly legally, haven't honoured most of their election promises for the last decade or so. Though yeah, we don't vote for a Prime Minister. Probably should given the huge step up in overt Stasi-esque-ness since Blair left...

Also, "its a new law they told everybody via twatter"? They actually tell us new laws? I thought we only found out about new laws (a) when the Media got a hold of one and thought "OMFG THIS IS A STORY!" or (b) when you get nicked because plod doesn't like you and it turns out the law was passed last week.

Anyone out there- is there a Book of Law? Or Website of Law? Not just case studies, but a definitive "THOU SHALT NOT XYZ"? If not, how do I know there isn't a law against, for example, being called Adam Foxton?

[seanj]

@Adam Foxton

"Anyone out there- is there a Book of Law? Or Website of Law? Not just case studies, but a definitive "THOU SHALT NOT XYZ"? If not, how do I know there isn't a law against, for example, being called Adam Foxton?"

I just checked, and there is such a law. Please remain calm, the authorities know where you are, and what you are eating right now. Put down the bacon buttie, as men in balaclavas should be with you momentarily to take you away for some doubleplusfun re-education. You'll learn to love Twitter, and The Party. See you at the Miniluv.

[Andy 97]

Wrong person

They should have got Stephen Fry, as any fule no, the literary and technology genius is followed by everyone. Stephen is also kind enough not to follow them back - to spare the blushes from their diabolical spelling and grammar' (thanks to them not being as brilliant as he is).

I can hear the "clink-clink" of the Montford Crystal in Downing St even as I type.

That'll be £25 pounds please.

Paris, because I miss her perfumed aroma around these parts.