Width is a linear measurement
Width can only mean diameter. If it's not, they're liars or idiots.
Tesco started selling a new range of Durex Extra Large condoms today, in what it insists is a response to surging consumer demand. Tesco's healthcare buyer claimed that customer research had show there was "growing demand for an extra large condom" with the store apparently receiving 200 calls last year from customers …
Looks to me like propaganda by the UK government, to lift the people's spirits in bad times.
We foreigners all know the truth about Anglo-Saxons, but a bit of lying never hurts. (Julius Caesar described the Brits as weeny, weedy and weaky.)
Remember the old story from the Cold War between the Russians and the USA. The Russians claim to have run out of supplies of their standard sized condoms, then they order a huge consignment of XXL condoms from the USA. The USA supplies them, but every pack is marked "small".
"And if keeping up with the Joneses wasn't hard enough, what will British customers say when they realise that US customers already have the opportunity to buy Durex XXL size rubbers - designed to be '20 per cent large than standard condoms'."
The US have had these XXL 'Johnies' since Vietnam when they were reportedly shipped to the troops large numbers and deliberately allowed to 'fall into enemy hands'. The thinking was that the already generally lesser endowed Asian locals, seeing the size of the US rubbers would quake in fear of the size of their 'weapons of massive destruction'.
Don't get me wrong as an enormously schlung IT type this story is right up my street. It's great that there is one place where i can get both news about IT and condoms for the well endowed. I was saying only the other day that i wished there was a place that could satisfy my IT news and my need for enormous penis updates.
but for the rest of you, what exactly is the IT angel?
"And if keeping up with the Joneses wasn't hard enough, what will British customers say when they realise that US customers already have the opportunity to buy Durex XXL size rubbers - designed to be "20 per cent large than standard condoms".
Odd, my shoe size in UK is 10, in EU its 44 and in US11.5
So who is doing the exaggerating here?
Not us Brits exactly. So our XL is probably bigger than the American XXL. . .
BTW, a size 10 is of course as everyone knows 1.1786 Linguine in standard measurements
During the 1960s, the astonauts had to have rubber accoutrements to retain urine bags (In Space, no one can hear you pee, but it buggers up all the equipment). They were issued in 3 sizes - extra large, huge & enormous. If they couldn't win the space race, they were certainly going to win the dick swinging contest.
Bearing in mind that you can take a standard size lettre francais and put it over your head, anyone that thinks they need an extra large durex is fooling no-one but themselves.
Perhaps all of the 200 callers were Australian and Tescos didn't realise? (Durex is a popular brand of sticky tape downunder.) G'day miss, can I have a 50 metre roll of Durex?
Whilst I'm sure there are plenty of people who would consider it a nice problem to have, those of us who are above the curve when it comes to girth do have serious issues with the 'standard' sizes of condoms available. About damn time they god a larger range on the shelves!
Anon to avoid accusations of bragging.
OK, see a nice chick in a supermarket, make sure you're behind her in the queue, and slam a couple of packs of them XXL nodders on the conveyor. Make sure she sees. Helps, natch, if you've re'membered' to stick a pair of rolled up socks doon yer troos. (not at the back, EPIC FAIL!)
Of course, we all know what they say about men with big feet.
(OK, everyday's Friday for me-on-the-dole). I'll get another coat from the Sally Army. Once I've collected enough bottles to recycle.
Finally, an answer to those of us with huge (and I mean, truly ginormous) willies.
Surely we need our pride underlined with a little more va-va-voom than than "Durex XL size", a typically restrained and British christening? Is it a condom or a power tool?
If I'm going to metaphorically wave my priapric superiority about (can't afford the Porsche), then I want to be ordering the "Maximus 2000 GirthMaster Extreme" over the counter at Boots. That's sure to impress.
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Bloody foreigners, coming over here with their big dangly bits, dangling them all about for the women to gorp at all day long when they should be getting on with sewing, cooking and cleaning, etc.
Or is this an unforseen side effect of all those spam emails offering enlargements? Oh, that's the IT angle on this story, obviously.
I use a tarpaulin from an old lorry meself... eh, eh? Awright son, stay lucky.
I'm quite old so had to check the size of 205mm in real money so I could tell if I "measured up" so to speak, found a nice widget for my iGoogle and it turns out that 205 mm is actually 0.04076 of a rod!
Seriously, 205mm turns out to be just a shade over 8", I must update my online dating profiles, I've been putting my size down as "avaerge" all these years, turns out I am XXXL!
There was a joke going around back in the Cold War:
In an attempted propaganda move, the Soviet Government place an order for a large quantity of condoms with an American manufacturer. The specified dimensions were considerably larger than the average male anatomy. In a brilliant counter move, the manufacturer filled the order but stamped them "Medium".
Surely it would have been better for her to say:
"It was like waving a pencil in a drain pipe"
To say his pencil pecker didn't touch the sides of her Albert Hall sized cavity doesn't put her in too good a light...
As for all those bragger comments...having lived in Hong Kong and used their condoms...it doesn't matter how much they stretch, if they cut off the circulation then it don't stay hard...
Must say i preferred the XL durex when they were out years ago...not sure why they went off the market though...
Paris...cos she has had more visitors than the Albert Hall (Allegedly)...
Condoms are serious business as they can make the difference between having an unwanted child and not, and between life and death.
Being a perv who likes boy-boy sex, I've probably seen more erect willies than most of the commentators above, and can assure everyone that penises do indeed come in a wide range of sizes. When I was a young lad, the urban folklore was that the erect penis varied less in size than any other body part, but experience has shown that assertion to be complete and utter nonsense.
There are little ones, very little ones, very, very little ones, and big, bigger, biggest, gigantic, and humongous ones. Plus a good many that are merely "average".
Having the right size condom is important: too loose, and they're prone to slipping off. Too tight, and they're uncomfortable and more prone to splitting. There are sex educators who demonstrate how stretchy condoms are by putting one over the crown of their head, but whenever I've seen this demonstrated, it's always been a woman who lacks the first hand experience to know that a tight condom is an uncomfortable condom.
As for available sizes, to quote the infamous Wikipedia on the topic "Magnum (condoms)":
"Most standard condoms are designed to fit erections of up to 7.25 inches in length and 1.375 inches in diameter. Magnums are made to fit penises 8 inches long and 1.5 inches in diameter. ... Trojan later introduced the Magnum XL, for erections 9 inches long and 1.75 inches in diameter, 30% larger than standard condoms."
For those at the smaller end of the size range, some Japanese brands are distinctly narrower.
So lads, go buy small packs of several sizes and try them out to find out which fits best. Snug without squeezing is perhaps the best description of what you want. Remember when donning your rubber johnny to unroll it a turn or two first so as to allow space for collecting your essential bodily fluids without leakage, backup, or bursting. Putting a drop of liquid silicone lube inside the tip will improve comfort considerably, even with pre-lubed condoms.
What peeves me is that condom manufacturers are notably shy about stating the size of the goods on the package in objective terms, such as those given in the aforereferenced Wikipedia article.
"Think you meant "and if keeping it up with the Joneses wasn't hard enough"?"
Surely that should be 'and if keeping it up the Joneses wasn't hard enough'. (Of course I refer to the delectable Jones twins I had the pleasure of going to college with.)
And in my own personal experience I've found that US condoms are generally smaller than the regular British ones, and have happily purchased XL hats during my travels across the pond.
they really wernt very big!
unless you were of oriental descent....
even Durex XL's are rather tight TBH ;p
i may not be long but i make up for it in girth :D
the viagra does help keep the presure up, but boy the headaches are a nightmare.
and if she complains in the morning about being utterly knackered, sore(down there) and having a early .! well good result for the night i say :)
least she knows she's experienced multiple orgasms and cannot complain about me shirking off my maritial duties to her in the bedroom dept.
"Width can only mean diameter."
Could be half the circumference. Put it flat on a table before measuring. Regardless, 1mm isn't going to make much of a difference ... I'm willing to bet that in a "double blind test" neither partner would be able to tell which is which.
"If it's not, they're liars or idiots."
Well, yes, and probably both. It IS all about marketing, after all.
"We foreigners all know the truth about Anglo-Saxons, but a bit of lying never hurts. (Julius Caesar described the Brits as weeny, weedy and weaky.)"
If J Caesar was commenting on the Britons of his period he was more likely to be talking about Britons of Celtic origin as the Anglo-Saxons didn't arrive on British shores until quite a few centuries later. He couldn't abide bad Latin puns either.
And for the other angle on insults, if a girl was a bit of a stop-out and presumed to have a cavernous, erm, crevice, her boyfriend allegedly had to strap a plank of wood to his backside to stop him falling in.
Either way, I think sales will rocket, with Porsche drivers buying two packets - the XLs and the normal, throw away the XLs and decant the normal ones into the XL box. False advertising, yes, but no more so than the wonderbra or fillets!
Being a spender of the so-called Pink Pound, I feel perhaps, I've had more experience with the Male Member than most of your readers - on both sides of the pond
And boys, rest assured, the Brits have nothing to fear from their long distant cousins.
Well, not in the one eyed purple headed spitting trouser snake department anyway
Your body hygiene, teeth and muscles need work tho.
The standard way of measuring the "width" of a condom is the width as it lies flat. Sometimes they call this measurement the "diameter", which is a bit confusing as it's half the circumference, really.
Yes, it's a shame they don't always print the dimensions on the packet, but the width isn't all that much use to the customer as it's only one factor. There's also the stretchiness, the texture, the type of lubrication, etc. In practice you in any case have to experiment to find which type is most comfortable. It does make a difference, in my experience.
Never had much bother with the length of johnnies but could do with a few with wide fitting.
You might get some of the buggers over your head but I can't get some of them onto my chum.
And it's not nice of they're really feckin tight.
But now I'm married and trying for a baby it's bit of a waste to me quite frankly.
P.S. the phrase up here is "Like a sausage in an alley".
I agree with Hazel 'upstairs'. My Old Cigar's but 6" - we can't change that even with pills, spam ads., "Meds" (god I hate that term. Sounds so stupidly 'merkan) etc, - , but no need - can't get more than 3/4 in till I hit her cervix, and the missus doesn't like any more.
I'll stick with the 'regular' size (read:small) - not that at our age we need to.
OK, old joke. Man at a supermarket checkout asks the young girl cashier for a packet of condoms. "Which size"? "Dunno" - so she gropes him. OK, XL, and sells him a pack.
Next guy does the same and gets the reply "L", and gets a pack.
Young teenager sees this, and tries the same trick. A second later, cashier goes onto staff intercom "Mop and bucket, aisle 2".
OK, coat icon. I know.....
From the rubber link in the article...
"From the makers of Durex, the world's leading condom brand, with over 70 years of quality experience. World's # 1 Condom Brand! Durex XXL provide protection you can trust. It has 215mm length and 56/63mm width."
So the US XXL are 215mm long. Surely that's the normal 205 plus the 10mm being offered for the UK XL.
<<Oh yes ... no one does learn the language anymore. O me miserum>> (And no-one learns to phrase English anymore. "no one does learn?? FFS!)
(Totally OT, but...) You'd be surprised!
A Finnish Radio station putting out news in Latin??? You couldn't make this up!
Eg. You have a nine inch boner and a seven inch condom.
Will the juice leak ? Eh, No. You have 6 inches of coverage from the exit point !!
So the point of XL condoms is what ?
Anyway - let's be honest, she's probably on the pill and it's going in her mouth anyway. Just like Paris (coz she's a good girl).
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