back to article Greenpeace unleashes Captain Kirk on HP

Greenpeace today claimed the support of TJ Hooker himself, William Shatner, in its battle with IT giants over their use and disposal of toxic chemicals. In a guerilla action against HP's global headquarters in Palo Alto, activists daubed "HP = Hazardous Products" in paint ("non-toxic finger paint") on the roof this morning. At …


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  1. Anonymous Coward

    But did they deliver the finger paint in a ginormous cardboard box?

    You have to speak with these folks on terms they understand.

    I'll get my coat.

  2. Anonymous Coward


    Wouldn't you rather use this?

  3. Jimbo 6

    Now THAT'S what I call psychological warfare

    If I got a personalised phone message from The Shat telling me to give up smoking, drinking and letching after young ladies, I'd probably quit all three. That's marketing-and-a-half.

  4. Anonymous Coward

    Damn it..

    Looks like I left my claymore in the wrong charity box. BTW I was in Liverpool the other and lost my hand grenade, has anyone seen it?

  5. Anonymous Coward

    The first AC beat me to it, but...

    HP been slowly getting rid of hazardous chemicals mailing it to customers in ginormous cardboard boxes for years... Maybe the cardboard isn´t cardboard at all... at least not made from plants that also can be used to make regular paper, or *vegetable* plants at all...

    ... Not to mention how many times a HP printer we had around here thrashed our prints, spewing ink and chewing paper all over the place. An Epson bought that same year works flawlessly, ever since then, up to this day. It happened 10 years ago. The same perfection happened to a Xerox copier (only a slight schedule maintenance every now and then), and the same disaster took place with a Lexmark. Take your own conclusions.

  6. Player_16

    I got yer yeller paint...

    Oh shux! It was yeller when I brought it!

  7. Rod MacLean
    Thumb Up


    ... if Shatner had bribed them with tales of his gravity-defying corsetry or if he had blackmailed them with threats of singing "Mr Tamborine Man" down the phone at them, things would have gone differently. HP might now be the greenest company on the planet!

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    So this is the kind of major environmental and health damage you get

    when obsolete space captains are dumped into the developed world

  9. Henry 3
    Thumb Up


    A Real Life version of "The Corbomite Maneuver"

  10. Jim 6

    Because you know...

    Lead contributed to his lack of hair.

  11. Graham Wilson

    As usual, they've the wrong target

    As usual, Greenpeace has the wrong target:

    1. They'd be much more productive if they targeted the cheap plastic crap etc. from China and elsewhere in Asia that only lasts a day or two. For instance, plastic buckets whose handles fall off before one even gets them home. Millions of tones of this 'disposable' rubbish which ought to have a service life of many years is just chucked out because it is unacceptably substandard and shoddy when for little extra manufacturing effort the stuff would last for many years.

    2. Why isn't Greenpeace demonstrating outside the Microsoft headquarters? The imminent release of Windows 7 will see many millions of tones of perfectly serviceable computers disposed of into landfill because of this forthcoming fashion-statement upgrade. If Windows 7 were a worthwhile advance to the computer world, then maybe there would be some excuse but it's little more than a repackage of mostly eons-old code wrapped in bright shiny coloured paper.

    As it is, Microsoft accepts no responsibility for the collateral environmental damaged it causes with irresponsible software upgrades. Moreover, when there's no Greenpeace-type group outside its Redmond headquarters to demonstrate and embarrass Microsoft into much longer and better upgrades then M$ will continue to get away with such unacceptable practices.

    Of course, the first people to be mesmerized by the computer glitz of Win 7 will be these klutzes. Now we wouldn't want to deprive them of their Internet addiction now would we? Strange how hypocritical environmentalist can become when an environmental cleanup might 'cost' them something personally.

    If Greenpeace were to target issues that really mattered then we'll all be much better off. But then again, I suppose we can't expect too much from an organization whose collective IQ couldn't figure out the casual relationships between junk and pollution as mentioned above.

  12. Mike Gravgaard

    Apple Green??

    Well I know Apple's are normally green but I'm sorry I don't buy this for a second. Is this the same Apple which build non replaceable batteries into their products - clearly they are thinking of the environment.

    if these companies where green, they wouldn't make their products from plastic (which is oil based).

    If governments want to act for the environment, why not charge manufactures a tax on plastics used.

    I'm holding out for a hemp based laptop :)


  13. Bill Gould
    Gates Halo

    Greenpeace Terrorists

    Why haven't they been marked for death yet?

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    @Jimbo 6

    Really? I'd probably start all three!

  15. Stevie Silver badge


    They should've used the other captain, Jean-Luc Packard.

  16. iamapizza

    Twilight Zone Moment

    There's something on the screen... some... thing...

  17. Anonymous Coward




    You've paid your mortgage off. You've starred in the best film filmed entirely in Esperanto ever. Just take a leaf out of Leonard Nimoy's book: sit down, shut up and retire gracefully.

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    Jean Luc Packard?

    Clearly, HP needs fellow Star Trek thesp Patrick Stewart on-side for the PR counter-offensive.

  19. Anonymous Coward

    Couldn't have happened to a nicer company...

    I hope HP finally sit up and take notice. They used to actually care about this sort of thing, and now they are just another corporate p*ss-take.

    Fail: because HP have.

  20. Tyson Boellstorff
    Alien long as he doesn't sing at you.


  21. Nordrick Framelhammer

    @Tyson Boellstorff

    Now you have done it! You have given them the next step to use in their campaign.

    But then wouldn't that make them guilty of using weapons of terror? They could them be lined up and shoit with lead and depleted uranium bullets at dawn.

  22. OffBeatMammal

    @ Graham Wilson

    while I agree whole-heartedly with your #1, your #2 seems totally off the deep end.

    In my experience to date with Win7 Beta and RC it has actually extended the life of hardware. I had a couple of machines that choked on Vista. Pure and simply were un-usable. For a laugh I installed Win7 Beta when I downloaded it.... and both were easily as performant as they had been with WinXP. The RC only improved matters.

    Now, most OEMs are not going to like that bit of news but as a result of Win7 I have two machines tht are no longer ear-marked for the scrap heap but are going on to probably another couple of years productive life as soon as I put Win7 release on them.

    Sure, Win7 should be available as a digital purchase - I don't really need a box and media in the 21st century do I - but I'd prefer to recycle a cardboard box than send either of these machines overseas to be stripped and dumped.

  23. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    Greenpeace are terrorists...

    I give to Greenpeace, so I am a terrorist too!

    Terrorist : "the use of violence and threats to intimidate or coerce, esp. for political purposes."

    Greenpeace attacking whaling boats, large buildings with paint ( surrealist arm of terrorisim I feel!), criminal damage for political purposes!

  24. Kanhef

    Cue the lawsuit

    about the denial-of-service attack. I'm not a lawyer, but I'm sure there's some statute about interfering with business operations or such. Greenpeace deserves it, too. Some of their causes are good, but their methods border on ecoterrorism.

  25. Goat Jam

    Title is Required

    1) Singing Shatner. I have a copy of Shatners second album. I quite like it, although he recites rather than sings thank god.

    2) Greenies. I like to go out on so called "earth day" and count up the number of ecotards who have dutifully turned off their lights "for the sake of the planet" who also have a whopping great 2.5 ton SUV parked in their driveway.

  26. Anonymous Coward

    RE: Jean Luc Packard?

    Hell yeah, could you imagine it... the great debate at a all new level...

    Green Peace Vs Packard...

    The Shat vs The Stewart...

    Of course we all know Piccard is the more superior officer.. and that means HP would win...

    Mine's the one with the laser printer set to stun!

  27. jake Silver badge

    Where do I start ...

    Trespassing, graffiti, disrupting a business, crank phone calls, etc. ... I'm a Palo Alto native (and I did work for HP when the founders were still at the helm), but I'm hardly green & granola. I say arrest the ringleaders & throw the book at 'em.

    Greenpeace is neither green, nor peaceful. I look on 'em as Scientology for vegetarians.

  28. call me scruffy

    @Graham Wilson

    You've done it now, you've got me started.

    Someone probably told Green-Sheesh that HP pour "Dihydrogen-Monoxide" (Common water, for those of you who haven't had your morning coffee) down the drain.

    Lets look at GPs previous antics.

    * Brent Spar, BP's plan was environmentally sound, the platform wasn't actually chock to the gills that GP claimed it was, it was just a publicity stunt.

    * Ghost Fleet, Tyneside wins a contract to break up a bunch of WWII ships in controlled conditions. Greenpeace waves their green-painted-willy around and the fleet goes to the far east for scrapping, where the workers work with no protection, and the local magistrate has a 15 year back log of corporate manslaughter cases., GP Publicity 1, workers and the environment -100

    * A propaganda leaflet about the nuclear industry was given out with one page reading "Since Chenobyl there have been [INSERT ALARMIST ARMAGEDONIST FACTOID HERE]" I.E. they didn't want to draw attention to anything specific they just wanted to slag of the industry. Any development in the nuclear industry is met with GP running around screaming "WE'E ALL GOING TO DIE" even when it's work being done of reducing the amount of waste generated.

    The reason that GP aren't protesting against the white-trash factories in China is two fold.

    * Zero publicity, which is what they deserve. Admittedly it'll be because the local news agencies won't want to advertise demonstrations against the shining stars of China's economy, rather than not advertising Greenpeace because GP are mindless jerks.

    * A commensurate, measured response. I.E. The protesters would be negotiated with, and then their families would be billed for the bullets.

    Greenpeace are a bunch of stupid, scientifically inept, narcissistic jerks who don't have the drive, imagination, or talent to go and do things, and so go around telling everyone that they can't do things either. More to the point these are the guys who have that attitude and still can't get a job with the government.

    You did it though, you f**king did it, you got me started on greenpeace.

  29. Ceiling Cat

    HP . . . UGH!

    Never again!!!!

    Never again will I accept a "branded" PC, even as a gift.

    1) Get PC home.

    2) Set PC up.

    3) GPU fan dies after 5 days.

    4) Contact support (actually HELPFUL support, even if it was AFAIK an "A.I." chat bot).

    5) Receive replacement card.

    6) Install new card

    7) Suffer for 2 days as toxic-smelling fumes leech out of the plastic cowling on the new card

    8) Download CASCADES demo and FURMARK, and alternate running these applications until said smell is gone.

    9) After 2 months, discover that NOT ONLY is the cooler on the card TOTALLY FRICKEN INADEQUATE, but the bios/drivers/satan keeps turning the GPU fan DOWN from 100% to 35% when the card hits 80 degrees celsius.

    Somewhere in there, I ordered another video card, but since HP are in bed with MicroATX's inventors, I am stuck with a completely inadequate PSU, with NO option of adding one rated @ over 400w without switching cases.

    Not to mention I'll have to pull my Wireless LAN card (who cares? Wired all the way) and my TV tuner card (no great loss, have any of you seen what Canadi-merican Cable calls "entertainment" these days?

    Fail icon, because.... well DUH!

  30. Martin 49

    Green Shat

    Thai Curry maybe?

  31. Pascal Monett Silver badge

    Didn't anybody notice ?

    There's always some klutz moaning about the IT angle, but here we have employees "greeted at their desks by automated phone messages from Shatner ".

    Excuse me ? Has Greenpeace taken over the company phone system ? Or is each employee being phoned individually as soon as he gets to his desk (sorry, cubicle) ? And how would they know that the employee has reached his desk ?

    I think we should be told.

  32. Anonymous Coward

    @ Pascal Monett

    ever heard of voicemail?

  33. Stef 4
    Thumb Down

    Solar Panels

    Lets all use solar panels and make GreenPeace happy. I guess they don't care about the solar panel companies dumping all their waste on chinese farms killing the locals.

    I'm suprised greenpeace have time for these kind of antics. Usually they are too busy hiring whalers to hunt, kill, and butcher whales so they can film it and say "Look at the nasty whalers".

  34. MarcF
    Paris Hilton

    @Graham Wilson

    I think you've got the wrong target yourself. Greenpeace activists should surely be targeting the fetish industry for its abundant overuse of PVC. Picketing BDSM parties wearing gimp suits made of biodegradable plastic would be a much better use of GP's time.

    Paris because, well, she's seen her share of Polyvinyl Chloride in her time.

  35. alan 39

    Re Jake

    I look on 'em as Scientology for vegetarians

    And now do I :) quality mate quality

  36. Graham Bartlett

    @Bill Gould

    "Why haven't they been marked for death yet?"

    Nah. "Marked for Death" was Steven Seagal, not Shatner. Admittedly they're both fat, ugly and can't act, and their surnames both start with "S", so I can see how the mistake came around.

  37. Justin

    HP, Greenpeace and Cardboard

    HP's response was particularly funny considering your article on cardboard overuse earlier. I nearly choked on my coffee (which would be almost as big a waste).

  38. B 9

    @ Mike Gravgaard

    "Is this the same Apple which build non replaceable batteries into their products - clearly they are thinking of the environment."

    - Did you think this through before you posted? What does user replaceable vs non-replaceable batteries have to do with the environment? Now rechargeable batteries are more friendly of course, and Apple has done that. But your argument that a non-replaceable battery is somehow not enviromentally friendly boggles the mind and defies all logic. Why didn't you just be honest and say that when you saw the word Apple you lost your mind and decided to post something anti-Apple because you hate them? At least it would have been an honest opinion instead of a factually incorrect slam on a company you hated.

  39. Wallyb132

    A title is required

    <---- + Greenpeace = green pieces....

    On a serious note, these planet destroying eco-fucktard-terrorists are seriously out of control and need to be stopped, they are the biggest bunch of hypocrites to ever roam the planet. period...

    I grew up the child of an oil field worker in the 70's and 80's, i used to see these people hold demonstrations and picket the entrance to my fathers company, i would ask my father why he would get so mad at them, they're just trying to save the planet...

    One day father stopped and sat me down and said: The first person that comes up here riding a horse, wearing leather moccasins, and clothes made of hand-stitched animal hide, carrying nothing made of plastic or anything which relies on petroleum products for its production or operation, i will sit down and listen to that person. until then they are nothing but a group hypocrites and environmental terrorists who cant live a day of their lives without relying on the very products they say is destroying our planet. everyday these idiots get out bed and brush their teeth with toothbrushes made of plastic, heat food in a microwave, put on rubber soled shoes and jump in their oil lubricated gas burning cars and come down here to tell me how i am destroying the planet. these are soulless people who only care about fighting a cause even though they rely on that very cause every minute of their lives, they are retarded but the law says we cant kill them, so we just have to live with them...


  40. jake Silver badge

    @B 9

    Did you think this thru' before you posted, B 9?

    "What does user replaceable vs non-replaceable batteries have to do with the environment?"

    Well, uh, gee, let me think ... How about if the rechargeable battery is user replaceable, the user can replace a dead battery in an otherwise working unit, instead of throwing the whole thing away just because the battery was flat? On top of that, the user can carry a spare battery or six when traveling in areas where recharge points are few & far between.

    Why didn't you just be honest and say that when you saw the word Apple you lost your mind and decided to post something pro-Apple because you love them? At least it would have been an honest opinion instead of a factually incorrect slam on Mike Gravegaard.

  41. Doc Spock

    Re: Apple Batteries

    For a start, the Apple batteries in question are non-USER-replaceable. Anyone can take their poorly iThing into an Apple store and have the battery replaced (eventually). Also, such batteries are usually more capacious for their size, and this ensures a longer life, as well as exerting a lesser stress on the environment over the entire manufacturing process and supply chain.

    Finally, all batteries - be they user-replaceable or not - are classed as WEEE (Waste Electrical and Electronics Equipment). This means that you are legally obliged to dispose of them in an environmentally-conscious manner - usually the original manufacturer is required to recycle them. As such, the throwing out of any batteries is technically illegal.

    Unfortunately, many electronics are viewed as commodity devices and are disposed of long before their useful life is up, just because of silly things like the battery failing or a newer model coming out.

    I hope that's enough thinking done on the subject, or does someone wish to respond with a reasoned rebuttal....?

  42. James 55
    Thumb Up

    @Stef 4

    "I'm suprised greenpeace have time for these kind of antics. Usually they are too busy hiring whalers to hunt, kill, and butcher whales so they can film it and say "Look at the nasty whalers"."

    You are pro whaling then? Also Greenpeace has more than a few workers.

    Good on 'em. Their campaign is working on Apple. Also why does anyone cry about HP being targeted by "terrorists"? It's a corporation like Microsoft/Apple/BadCo. They are nice when they try and sell you something but are fucking stubborn knobjockeys the rest of the time -> whatever suits the shareholder.

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