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  1. Paul Murphy 1
    Welcome

    I for one welcome...

    Our 'two mums, no dad' overlords.

    I feel sorry for the kids...

    ttfn

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Lesbians wanting to become pregnant?

    Good job the hospital isn't funded by a feminist charity otherwise they'd be told that's not what women should want to put their bodies through.

  3. Sordid Details
    Paris Hilton

    Looking abroad?

    "Principally to Denmark and Finland" eh? What's wrong with good old British babymaker? It's the stuff empires are built on and guarantees offspring to be on the winning side in the event of a war.

    Paris, because her icon makes me want to 'donate'.

  4. lukewarmdog
    Terminator

    Guy on bike

    Is this the real reason that guy was attacked earlier this month?

    http://www.theregister.co.uk/2009/07/16/devil_girls/

    That 50 year old sperm might be worth a bit and of course by the time the kid decides to find out who his dad is, he can't blackmail him for any money because he'll be senile or dead.

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Gates Horns

    As soon as I saw the "Swedish Lesbians Suck" ...

    .... I was hooked.

    This story is NUTHIN' without pictures, so either upload some pics of hot Swede lesbos or get the PlayMobil out pronto!!!

    Bill, because if I had his money I'd be gettin sucked dry by some swede birds too

  6. LuMan
    Paris Hilton

    Sobering thought

    "Swedish law allows kids to learn their biological father's identity once they turn 18."

    I hope the law doesn't change to the effect that the donor has to provide 18 years worth of maintenance (although it probably would in this country under the current government - sigh).

    Paris, 'cos I've got a sample for her...

  7. Steve Swann
    Stop

    A question...

    Does anyone know if the law is specific to same-sex female couples or does it extend to male couples as well?

    If not, why not?

  8. Richard 39

    old fashioned...

    why is that these women become lesbians (not bi-sexuals obviously as that would destroy my point) because they dont find men attractive but then opt for the one thing a man can provide that a woman cant!

    surely the maternal instinct in a woman seriously wanting to reproduce would incline her towards a partner that can provide the necessary 'ingredients'. something is amiss here methinks.

    Surely if you go off men, you should go off every bit of the man!

    or is that far too sexist/biggoted of me in this liberal-everyone has the right to reproduce-era?

  9. I didn't do IT.
    Joke

    "please note that we've already covered lesbian artificial insemination."

    Really?!

    I will bet it was fine and even, as befits the quality expected of El Reg... and two coats, to boot!

  10. The Dark Lord
    Coat

    "Duff man juice also adding to chronic shortage"

    Am I the only person who read the subheading and thought "Duffman, ooh yeah"?

  11. DI_Wyman
    Megaphone

    News?

    I couldn't really give a toss!

  12. Alfonso Vespucci
    Thumb Up

    Guess the hack

    Some headlines just scream Lester Haines.

  13. Jim Coleman
    Alert

    Hehehee

    "The upshot of the Swedish sperm..."

    Coffee ------> Keyboard + Screen

  14. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

    Re: old fashioned...

    The fact that I still find some of these comments shocking is a source of relief to me. It means that 18 months of moderating hasn't completely deadened my head yet.

    In case anyone was wondering, I'm approaching this thread with my "let almost everything through in order that you can see what people really think" hat on.

    Just lovely. Keep it up, enlightened souls!

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Pint

    Yaaaahhh

    It's FRIDAY!!

  16. Rob
    Go

    Love it!

    Remember that story about the artifical sperm, I could have sworn I heard someone comment once about "seems like a daft idea, not like there's a shortage of sperm around".... 'well appprently there is a shortage for anyone with a passport from lesbania in sweden.

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    Indeed?

    Maybe one should reconsider ones holiday plans and stay near the east shore for a few days, if we're going to be invaded by Swedes crying for assistance. Just as a public service, of course. *sigh* The things one does for humanity...

    Alright already, I'm going. Mine's the rubberized one with the wellies. No, *not*... Oh fer cryin' out loud.

  18. Secretgeek
    Happy

    @ 'A question...'

    If you can find one man let alone a couple that you can fertilise with any amount of man juice then you better get the papers lined up pretty sharpish cos there'll be plenty of money to be made.

    @ 'old fashioned'

    Seriously, have you just teleported in from the 70's with a copy of the Sun?

    Final point - given this and the 'devil girls' story I'm moving to Sweden. Man's in demand! Do they pay cash at donation clinics? The next generation of Swedes could all look like me! Actually in that case I probably shouldn't go.

  19. Anonymous John

    What? No alliteration?

    Swedish sapphos suck sperm storage sere.

  20. owaing
    Heart

    @Steve Swann

    I'm not sure about the detail of Swedish legislation, but I'm fairly sure that all couples would be entitled to fertility treatment equally now.

    The thing being that a gay male couple has plenty of sperm of their own, but nowhere to gestate it. I doubt they provide you with a free surrogate mother as "infertility treatment", but I could be wrong.

    Love icon, for obvious reasons.

  21. northern monkey
    Pint

    @Steve Swann

    I one of the homosexual males involved happens to be equipped with a womb and some ovaries then I don't see why not.

    <nice creamy head

  22. Stu Pid
    Pint

    @The Dark Lord

    You're not the only one. Oooohhhh yeah!

  23. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    Sperm shortage?

    I am surprised no one has posted this yet,

    I will volunteer to help fill the backlog

    Mines the one with the weird stain on the pocket

  24. Chris Watson 2
    Thumb Up

    @The Dark Lord

    Nope.

  25. lansalot
    Go

    quite right Sarah !!

    It's a fascinating insight. Everyone just wants to see the red-hot action. Very poor show, chaps, you're letting the side down..

    Me, I'm all for a more helpful, hands-on, approach - and I'm booking my flight right now, with a view to helping some of these poor women out of their predicament, via a more "traditional" route.

    For me, it's all about the giving. And if I get paid for it too, well, let me tell you I wouldn't say no to earning money hand over fist !

  26. May Contain Nuts
    Boffin

    Re: A question...

    @Steve Swann

    I'm sure the sperm bank would give all-male couples all the sperm they want, but I fail to see what they'd be able to do with it?

  27. Admiral Grace Hopper Silver badge
    Unhappy

    I still hold out hope

    That one day all the boys in IT will grow up. Today, I fear, is not that day. *sighs*

  28. 3kids2cats1dog
    FAIL

    IKEA!

    I wounder if IKEA would trade a new kitchen for a male juice donation? Swimmer works (see user name), proven track record.... ;-)

  29. Martin 6 Silver badge

    @Steve Swann

    >why not

    Cos they haven't got a womb - where's the fetus going to gestate, you going to keep it in a box?

  30. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    tee hee hee!

    I once tried to help out a female friend (who was bemoaning her lack of a suitable suitor for reproduction purposes) by sending her my grungiest pair of underpants and saying whatever "leftovers" she could boil out of them, she could keep.

    (Some women just have no sense of humour!)

  31. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    On my way to Sweden

    I'll stand in front of the clinic with a big sign that reads "Will trade sperm for sex"

  32. Anonymous Coward
    WTF?

    I've wanked myself blind

    What forum is this? I can't SEE!!!!!

    /Hot Swedish lesbos = WIN (I can be down wit de yoot too)

  33. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    @Steve Swann

    Francis: Why are you always on about women, Stan?

    Stan: (pause) I want to be one.

    (pregnant pause)

    Reg: What?

    Stan: I want to be a woman. From now on I want you all to call me Loretta.

    Reg: What!?

    Stan: It's my right as a man.

    Judith: Why do you want to be Loretta, Stan?

    Stan: I want to have babies.

    Reg: You want to have babies?!?!?!

    Stan: It's every man's right to have babies if he wants them.

    Reg: But you can't have babies.

    Stan: Don't you oppress me.

    Reg: I'm not oppressing you, Stan -- you haven't got a womb. Where's the

    fetus going to gestate? You going to keep it in a box?

  34. Lloyd
    Coffee/keyboard

    Could I just say

    That is one of the greatest headlines I have ever seen, it had my office in hysterics, keep up the good work.

  35. Anonymous Coward
    WTF?

    Old Fashioned?

    Sarah it's OK to pretend you're innocent - but we've seen your Xmas night out pics and you look a right raver (joking)

    When you say "let almost everything through", what have you rejected for this thread?

    I hope you aren't keeping these hot lesbo pics Reg readers have submitted all to yourself, that's just not fair. Play the gemme eh, as we say in Scotland!!!

  36. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    shortage?

    ... well i guess we (blokes) are still needed then, despite the efforts of these ladys to suggest otherwise (with their fatherless offspring)... honestly I sometimes wonder what would happen if plastic willies could mo the lawn, would anyone notice us men even being here anymore.

  37. Giddy Kipper
    Happy

    It's Friday

    So I can tell you about the two lesbians who live next door to me. They bought me a Rolex for my birthday this year - I think they misunderstood me when I said 'I wanna watch'.

    Hohoho.

  38. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Let's just get one thing that we *ALL* agree on...

    LESTER is the next PM!!!

  39. Anonymous Coward
    Grenade

    Bollocks

    This isn't about enlightenment, it's about basic fucking biology. If you don't pack the gear (borrowing a line from Full Metal Jacket) to make a baby then you shouldn't have one. My point of view isn't based on any weird religious grounds but simple logic. Two guys can't make a baby, nor can two women so they have no business obtaining one using methods which, let's face it, were set up to assist infertile heterosexual couples.

    This is probably a ridiculously unfashionable viewpoint but when we have teachers for whom open combat is a last resort t to maintain order in a classroom then society should be figuring out what made it strong in the first place. It should not be taking those foundations apart. If whatever path you choose in life leads you to shacking up with someone of the same sex it's pretty obvious that sexual intercourse isn't going to result in a baby. That doesn't mean you have the 'right' to one.

  40. Manas Straw

    Outsourcing, anyone?

    Any chance of this getting outsourced, then?

    Like, I mean, to India or China? Very little duff man juice over here.

  41. Anonymous Coward
    Troll

    My old flatmate used to make "donations" as a student,..

    for research purposes; trouble is, he looks like a hobbit, christ knows what the kids will turn out like.

  42. Andy G 1
    Paris Hilton

    Shortage ??? Lesbian Couples ? ?

    Let me out there . . . fantasy fulfilment time me thinks !!

    ahhhhhhhhh.. . .

    oops.. too late... hehe Wonder if i can post it to them instead ? ?

    mind you, i suppose if they are mingers you can always have a w@nk and throw it at them! !

    /Paris coz its fantasy time . .. mmmmmmmmmmmmmm

  43. N2 Silver badge

    Dear Swedish lesbians...

    Form an orderly queue & Ill fill you to the brim!

  44. Anonymous Coward
    Pint

    RE: Sarah

    I take the same viewpoint as the most powerful women that ever existed, Her Majesty The Queen Victoria, who ruled the British Empire at it's peak and was undoubtedly one of the best rulers of recent history.

    There is no such thing as lesbianism.

    Lets see these so-called lesbian feminists wrestle with that one.

    Where's your sandals and tie dye shirt now you beardy hippys (not you Sarah)

    WE ARE WOMEN WE ARE STRONG!, WE ARE FIGHTING FOR OUR RIGHTS!.....Yeah right, I know what Queen Victoria would have said to that! Probably something like "shut up and start making babies for my war efforts".

    Mines a fish, because once you cresp, you just can't splesp.

  45. Anonymous John
    Joke

    Untitled joke

    An old cowboy sat down at the bar and ordered a drink. As he sat sipping his drink, a young woman sat down next to him. She turned to the cowboy and asked, "Are you a real cowboy?"

    He replied, "Well, I've spent my whole life, breaking colts, working cows, going to rodeos, fixing fences, pulling calves, bailing hay, doctoring calves, cleaning my barn, fixing flats, working on tractors, and feeding my dogs, so I guess I am a cowboy."

    She said, "I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about women. When I shower, I think about women. When I watch TV, I think about women. I even think about women when I eat. It seems that everything makes me think of women."

    The two sat sipping in silence.

    A little while later, a man sat down on the other side of the old cowboy and asked, "Are you a real cowboy?"

    He replied, "I always thought I was, but I just found out I'm a lesbian."

  46. Anonymous Coward
    Linux

    Fuck Me! Fuck Me Not!

    Cum on you guys, this is just sick !!

    Most of those lesbos are like builders labourers or hairy bikers --- would you shag one of them without a bag over its head ? I would need two bags, in case the one over my head burst ! But ! I hear you cry, 'you don't look at the frying pan when you're poking the fire !' Hey, those ain't the latest gas fires, these are your dirty old coal fires with smuts and smoke and ashes !

    Excuse me if I just stick to being a gentleman towards NORMAL woman of all ages --- the only ugly women are lesbos and those who otherwise choose not to be beautiful. I have all the time in the world for the beautiful ones, which does seem to be the vast majority of them.

    I have nothing against homos of any breed, but I certainly don't wish to participate.

  47. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

    Re: Fuck Me! Fuck Me Not!

    I'm saying nothing. But I am judging you.

    Oh and previous poster - so, another way to put that would be that your views on sexuality are Victorian? Just that it might have been quicker and saved you time to say that. You're welcome.

  48. IR

    chance missed

    "please note that we've already covered lesbian artificial insemination."

    How could you miss the chance to say:

    "please note that we've already covered lesbians with sperm."

  49. Anonymous Coward
    Linux

    Re: Sarah Bee

    Sarah, what greater honour could be bestowed upon a simple man that to be judged by Sarah Bee? I can't think of one ! ( I think Sarah Bee comes into the class of 'beautiful' as described earlier above !)

    Have a nice weekend Sarah. :)

    Sarah Bee because she puts up with all the crap and comes up smiling. I love that !

  50. Duncanmhor
    FAIL

    @Will 22

    "This isn't about enlightenment, it's about basic fucking biology. If you don't pack the gear (borrowing a line from Full Metal Jacket) to make a baby then you shouldn't have one."

    So IVF of any kind is out then?

    Infertile couples, by definition aren't "packing the gear" so what is the difference between them and a homosexual couple? Oh, they fit better into your ricockulously simple world view.

  51. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

    Re: Sarah Bee

    Who's smiling?

  52. Dr. Mouse

    @Will 22

    "This isn't about enlightenment, it's about basic fucking biology. If you don't pack the gear (borrowing a line from Full Metal Jacket) to make a baby then you shouldn't have one. My point of view isn't based on any weird religious grounds but simple logic. Two guys can't make a baby, nor can two women so they have no business obtaining one using methods which, let's face it, were set up to assist infertile heterosexual couples."

    Erm, on these grounds surely "infertile heterosexual couples" also "don't pack the gear... to make a baby". I am not expressing an opinion either way here, but your argument falls flat on it's face.

    Back into the spirit of the discussion, if any Swedish lesbians out there need 'assistance', I'd be happy to oblige. I have plenty going spare, and I will accept cash for a simple donation of fluid, or else we can go the traditional route and I will provide the service for free.

  53. OzBob
    Troll

    Let me get this straight,...

    all the time I have been an "hobbyist", I could have been getting paid for it? Now I know why I haven't made it like Richard Branson has, I don't see the commercial opportunities where others do!

  54. Ian Sawyer 1
    Thumb Up

    Come and get it

    I have been trying to find a use for my baby gravy for years now other than wiping it off my chest

    with black sock. Glad to hear these lezzers may need it though as I always seem to have a sock shortage. It's true some sister fisters are right bull dyke munters that look more like Arthur Mallard

    than some hot totty, but then you do get the odd todger dodger that is a proper lipstick lezzer that strangely enough gets turned on by the likes of Arthur. Anyways i'm willing to take my chances with the Swedish carpet munchers any day. At the end of the day a hole is a hole. As long as there is a little heat in there i'm happy

    http://www.theregister.co.uk/Design/graphics/icons/comment/thumb_up_32.png

  55. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

    Re: Come and get it

    Seriously, though. Are you people real?

    Really?

  56. Jimmahh
    Coat

    For the love of god woman!

    Stop letting them make public fools of themselves, they clearly need a firm hand, etc, etc....

  57. Anonymous Coward
    Flame

    @ People who have no comprehension

    Nice try but my argument doesn't fall flat on it's face anywhere. You'll see I wrote that IVF was initially set up to assist couples having fertility issues with conception. Infertile couples can be such for any number of reason; illness, operations, genetic make-up meaning any kids would be severely disabled or not live long. IVF was set up to help these people. IVF was not set up to give gay couples kids.

    People don't have the 'right' to kids just because they want some. Two wombs don't make babies nor do two sets of bollocks. Gay couples aren't infertile couples. They're gay couples which, by definition, cannot produce kids. Just because they want some doesn't mean that IVF should be available to them. Under any circumstances a gay couple will never naturally produce offspring so comparing gay to infertile couples is a complete failure in logic.

  58. Field Marshal Von Krakenfart
    Pint

    Campaign for real erm...

    It's always the same, you go into a bar and the wimmin are looking for the foreign stuff in bottles when the much better stuff is available on draught. And it has a nice head.

  59. Sordid Details
    Heart

    Reg Readers

    I am wiping tears of laughter from my face as I type this, a great way to finish the working week. Reg readers, I love you all, and wish you a pleasant weekend.

  60. northern monkey
    WTF?

    @Ian Sawyer 1

    I feel sorry for the other Ian Sawyer who forced you to take Ian Sawyer 1 as he's probably getting sacked/beaten up/vomited on right now in a case of mistaken identity.

    Please tell us where you are so we can correct the mistake.

  61. Circadian
    Alien

    Rules and Regs

    What are the Rules and Regs for sperm donors? I don't know about anyone else, but I would *really* like to know who the donor was before it became part of my offspring. What type of person donates at these clinics? Maybe the occasional altruist and possible broke student, but if there is cash involved then there is a risk that the donor is not someone you would want as a father figure (I'm thinking drug users here, not just uggos :-P ). Wonder if the "high incidence of duff sperm" is due to quick thinking by the assistants at the clinic deciding to leave samples from the less desirable donors around the microwave for a few minutes before storing?

    Also want to request as a Friday afternoon special sometime a selection of comments that were moderated out - my curiosity makes me wonder what stuff doesn't make it past Sarah (though I have a feeling that I may regret looking if it ever does happen!)

    Good weekend all, and especially the moderatrix!

    (Alien, as who knows who or what the donor is)

  62. Greg D
    Thumb Up

    @Will 22

    Here Here buddy, too fucking right mate. I need say no more.

  63. SimpleUser
    Pint

    To Sarah Bee

    just imagine that glass filled with champagne, a toast to you & your comments - excellent.

  64. Maty
    Pint

    Seriously Sarah ...

    Seeing that there's a somewhat, er ... laddish, approach to most postings, how did you end up moderating them?

    While this is undoubtedly as close to contact with a female as many a poster gets all week, I have this mental picture of you going through the comments with the expression of Daphne looking on whilst Scooby-doo and Shaggy have a farting contest.

    Beer, because I suspect you are going to need several before we've finished with the lesbian sperm theme.

  65. Anonymous Coward
    Joke

    I run my own bank

    But it's only direct deposit.....

  66. Doug Glass
    Happy

    Holden McGroin

    I'm Coming!! Well, I'm getting on a plane, No, I mean I'm booking a flight on a jerk. I mean I'm ... oh forget it.

  67. ThinkingOutLoud
    Paris Hilton

    Exports

    Guess Ryanair can now make up its winter flight shortfall by shuttling UK males with heavy balls across... How would the ad posters read?

    Paris because she'll take the surplus once oversubscribed.

  68. Anonymous Coward
    Troll

    Another true story,...

    one of the girls at work was trying to get pregnant so i filled a large syringe with yoghurt and presented it to her, saying the boys in the office understood her predicament and had had a whip-around....

    how I never got fired from that place, I do not know! (Ah thats right, it was a govt department, no one ever gets fired from those!)

    PS Yes Sarah B, we really are this purile and immature. In the words of Paul Reiser; now that you know what really goes on inside our heads, we demand acknowledgement for our amazing self-control the other 99.999% of the time we keep it to ourselves.

  69. Anonymous Coward
    Headmaster

    Re: "I have nothing against homos of any breed..."

    Superlatively ironic.

    Perhaps he'll get to 30 like the rest of us, if not blugeoned to death by incensed lesbians, and ask himself - 'Does it really matter?'

    Wankers like him should see this as a business opportunity...

  70. Charlie Clark Silver badge
    Grenade

    Plastic pseudo-oestrogens mean we're all doomed

    Same sex couples are so late twentieth century. I have no problem about who lives & loves whom but the gene pool does and fertility in the West has declined dramatically within the last generation. While artificial insemination may be a blessing to those treated it doesn't solve the larger problem.

    As for all the wankers (oh, I'm so fucking funny, me - did you see what I did there?) ready to offer the fruits of their loins - you're all sterile, too.

    The future belongs to the poor and the poorly educated. Does that make me reactionary?

    BTW. Can I change my nick to the Twat-O-Tron?

  71. Fred Flintstone Gold badge

    @ Previous coverage (and Sarah Bee)

    "Before you lot start demanding some form of hot Playmobil action to accompany this story, please note that we've already covered lesbian artificial insemination"

    Yes, but not in depth (evil grin) :-)

    @ Sarah Bee: it's evident quite a few commentards are such expert wannabee providers, several cases of Repetitive Stain Injury are already starting to become apparent (no, that "r" is deliberately missing). Forgive those posts - blame it on temporary, localised low blood pressure :-)..

  72. Fred Flintstone Gold badge

    @ Fuck Me! Fuck Me Not!

    Oh boy oh boy - if you think all lesbians are ugly you have obviously never come across the feminin ones. I have, and some of them are jawdroppingly beautiful - and fun to be with (just to cut off that particular avenue, the fact that they're more interested in same sex doesn't make them in some way less interesting to talk to). That is, after you retrieved your jaw from the floor :-)

    You have no idea how much you're missing with such a narrow minded attitude. Learn to enjoy how different people can be and you will have so much less to worry about. Active tolerance makes IMHO for better people. I'm not perfect in that respect, I admit, I still cannot tolerate intolerant, ignorant and dumb people. And I'm not sure I'd call that a defect either..

  73. OzBob
    Troll

    the auwful trruth,...

    I'm friends with the lesbian best friend of the guy that married my sister,.. shes a lovely girl but shaves her legs with a "weed-wacker!" (TM)

  74. Anonymous Coward
    Joke

    Joke alert,,...

    Q: Why did the lesbian get sacked from the sperm bank?

    A: Drinking on the job!

  75. Daniel 4

    Out of curiousity...

    Do most of you people even know what the word lesbian means? Have you contemplated having sex with someone finds you unattractive, perhaps even repulsive, sexually?

    Look, I could imagine some situations where I may "assist" a very good BISEXUAL lady friend in a female-female relationship with having a child. They are rather far fetched, but at least possible. But a lesbian couple? Only via the old (new? whatever) fashion donating sperm, thank you very much.

    -d

  76. Anonymous Coward
    Grenade

    I'm really supprised

    Not by the content of the comments but by the fact that people still bite and take them seriously. I mean come on you fucktards, lighten up.

  77. Anonymous Coward
    Pint

    Can you tell it's friday? :)

    Did everyone else mentally insert 'vampires' into the title too? As in, "Swedish lesbian VAMPIRES suck sperm banks dry". Guess it's just me then.

    Mine's the one with the plastic fangs in the pocket.

  78. Anonymous Coward
    Joke

    What to do

    @May Contain Nuts

    Gargle?

  79. Geoffrey W
    Dead Vulture

    @I still hold out hope

    <QUOTE>That one day all the boys in IT will grow up. Today, I fear, is not that day. *sighs*</QUOTE>

    Much as the comments make me squirm with shame for my gender, the fact that The Register sees fit to post this in the manner they have done is doing nothing to help those IT boys to grow up. Aping tabloid news speak, no matter how firmly your tongue is stuffed in your cheek, isn't really very funny and sounds rather like the "Sport" newspapers who do it in a similar vein. You may as well just start posting daily tit pics, in a satirical manner of course.

    @"I mean come on you fucktards, lighten up"

    If you guys could actually be funny it might help.

  80. Jeffrey Nonken
    Megaphone

    Amazing

    ...and the stereotypes run rampant. Amazing the human race can survive with so much stupidity.

    Amazing that people still think other people choose their sexuality. Oh yes, I want to be shunned, ridiculed, beaten, possibly killed, and in greater danger of contracting a debilitating terminal disease. I want to be in a relationship that the government doesn't recognize so I don't get the same benefits, refused for any rights or privileges a married het couple might get. I like being put down and considered sick. I'm happy about the fact that I can't have children without medical intervention.

    But at least I know how to decorate, and I've got a killer wardrobe! Yeah! Woo hoo!

    All lesbians are ugly? Boy are you barking up the wrong tree. Go to any match site and do a search for "women seeking women". (I know you won't, it would destroy your little fantasy.) Of course you won't find all of them attractive, but you won't find all the straight women attractive either. (Funny thing, that.) Then again, it depends on what you consider attractive. If your criterion for "attractive" is "must be Angelina Jolie" then you're bound to be disappointed. There just aren't enough of her to go around.

    Megaphone because no matter how loudly it's shouted, the truth doesn't seem to get through. There is none so deaf etc.

  81. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    rights forfeited

    I personally think a pair of lesbians shouldn't be allowed to buy sperm from a bank, if they've chosen to be in a same sex relationship then they've chosen to forfeit the right to bear children via natural means.

    If you want a baby, go find a real man and ask him nicely if you can have his sperm, to be obtained in the usual way. I'm sure they could have plenty of willing donors easily, very easily indeed.

    If I were a sperm donor, which I'm not, but given I was screwed by employer and kept without pay for several months, I could certainly do with the money, then I believe I should have a choice as to where my sperm goes, it is after all part of me! And the childen will have been created from me, so I should at least have a say in my offspring's future.

    Imagine a boy growing up in a family with two women as parents, f**k me, that will really do the kid's head in. It's bad enough when you're growing up in a single parent family,with the mother and siblings being female. Do women think logically? Do bears shit in space? There is so much they can't teach the male child.

    "What do want to grow up son", "my two mother's don't want me to be an engineer, or nuclear physicist....."

  82. Andus McCoatover
    Grenade

    Sweden's next door..I can help!

    Only question, do they want it bottled*, or draught? I'd prefer to deliver it the latter way.

    (Maybe not. My Finnish missus sucked my sperm bank dry Friday night. Dammit.)

    *Vision of Leslie Nielson donating gallons in a film whose title I can't remember puts me off a bit....

    Chosen icon's a bit obvious...

  83. Andus McCoatover
    Joke

    @Re: Come and get it

    <<By Sarah Bee Posted Friday 24th July 2009 15:27 GMT

    Seriously, though. Are you people real?

    Really?>>

    Yep, we're real. That's why you're replying to us and not dead people. Prolly.

  84. Def Silver badge
    Stop

    @Will 22

    "...can't make a baby, nor can two women..."

    It's called parthenogenesis. Go look it up.

  85. Peter Kay

    @'people don't have the right to kids because they want them'

    I fully agree. Either IVF should be available to everyone, or no one. 'Everyone' includes same sex female couples and opposite sex couples (even the bigoted ones, unfortunately).

    There are strong social and biological pressures for people to have children, so removing IVF services is not a realistic option..

  86. HFoster

    New Man-Neandertal Dichotomy

    The New Man part of my brain says, "right on," while my Neandertal brain scratches its arse, mystified by fire and sunset, yet still turned on by lesbians.

    I suppose it's proof positive that intelligence and high-tech toolmaking are the survival skills that have saved our delicate necks many a time: don't like hetero sex, still want to reproduce, use technology to fulfill the latter without engaging in the former.

  87. Anonymous Coward
    Linux

    I 'read' your smiles in your words.

    @Sarah Bee ...Who's smiling?

    If you didn't laugh at this, you'd have to cry and that wouldn't be good.

    @Sarah Bee ...Seriously, though. Are you people real? Really?

    I hope that I am seeing a lot of Friday afternoon 'tongue in cheek' (can I say that in these circus.stances?)

    Just for you, here is what I actually think .... Children come out best when they have one dad and one mum. That way they get the right balance of the human experience in their upbringing. I see the children of single parents and, forgive me for being blunt, but, in general their behaviour and scholastic performance leave a lot to be desired. So we will pick up the tab for that failure. Two same-sex parents might be a small improvement over single parent in that the child has twice the chance of being taken out somewhere, or taught something, or helped with homework, or given guidance. BUT !!! The child has only half of the human experience to learn from, despite having a double dose of it. So, would I allow lesbians to use IVF treatments? NOT as long as there are any infertile two-sex partnerships requiring it !! Even then, I think I would outlaw it. It is just one of those 'do-gooder' bad ideas which are slowly destroying much of what most of us think is valuable in this very flawed world in which we live.

    .... and before I get shouted at ... there are exceptions to every rule ! Drunken fathers, mothers on the game ....what percentage? anyway, I decline to rise to any bait on that :)

  88. Anonymous Coward
    Linux

    Should I even bother. .. ?

    As I have 10 minutes till my next appointment, I WILL give a quick response to one or two comments ...

    Just in case people are of limited linguistic capability (and not for a moment did I think I would find THAT amongst El Reg readers), my comments are usually tongue in cheek, rather than representing any particular opinion that I might hold. Indeed, last thing on Friday I posted something which was closer to my actual thoughts on the matter under discussion, but Sarah Bee didn't pass it through to the list, so maybe she also prefers the more provocative type of comment, but I wouldn't dare try to put our moderatrix into any kind of box !!

    @Gerhardt. Superlatively ironic.

    Perhaps he'll get to 30 like the rest of us, if not blugeoned to death by incensed lesbians, and ask himself - 'Does it really matter?'

    Wankers like him should see this as a business opportunity...

    Well Gerhardt, you highly intuitive genius, I am 65 and I got here without being 'blugeoned' (did you mean, bludgeoned ?) by anyone! As for the 'business opportunity, I leave that to you and the wankers --- I am too busy living off my fat pension (whilst still holding down my obscenely paid job --- so that young bloods like you don't get it before your time !)

    @Fred Flintstone Oh boy oh boy - if you think all lesbians are ugly you have obviously never come across the feminin ones. I have, and some of them are jawdroppingly beautiful - and fun to be with ............................ You have no idea how much you're missing with such a narrow minded attitude. Learn to enjoy how different people can be and you will have so much less to worry about.

    Well, Fred. I think you confuse 'pleasant on the eye' with beautiful. Beauty is something which comes from the whole being of a person, not just the outside. It is everything, the whole package and as lesbians and other forms of sexual deviants are nature's biological errors ( I speak the truth, like it or not!) with NO PLACE in the perpetuation of the species, I think they are ugly. I am entitled to hold that opinion. I didn't say that they can't be nice people. Or, play a valuable role in society. I didn't say that I won't treat them respectfully. I said that I find them UGLY ! I very much enjoy the differences that make up the human experience, which is why I don't think same-sex partners should have children. They can only impart half of the breadth of humanity in the upbringing of a child, although, they are a vast improvement on the single parent. Don't start !!

    @Jeffrey Nonken ...All lesbians are ugly? Boy are you barking up the wrong tree. Go to any match site and do a search for "women seeking women". (I know you won't, it would destroy your little fantasy.) Of course you won't find all of them attractive, but you won't find all the straight women attractive either. (Funny thing, that.) Then again, it depends on what you consider attractive. If your criterion for "attractive" is "must be Angelina Jolie" then you're bound to be disappointed. There just aren't enough of her to go around.

    Jeffrey, I said that they were ugly --- the word 'attractive' means something else. It is NOT the opposite of ugly. I have seen attractive lesbians, but they are NOT beautiful and I find them UGLY. Maybe that concept is a bit much for a Monday morning. As for looking on 'match sites', I have better things to do. If that's what you are doing, you need to get out more !! I don't find Angelina Jolie attractive --- maybe I could describe her as 'decorative', but decoration is so shallow --- don't you find ?

    Hopefully most of you guys will eventually grow up into half decent people, some, sadly, won't !

  89. lukewarmdog
    Thumb Up

    Babies for All

    "And if I get paid for it too, well, let me tell you I wouldn't say no to earning money hand over fist !"

    You get extra for that.

  90. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

    Re: Should I even bother. .. ?

    AC - Your previous comment has now gone through.

    I'm not convinced that much of this is 'tongue in cheek', as you assert. I refer you to a chap who quoth "There is no such thing as 'only joking' - our souls speak through our jokes". But maybe he's full of it.

    You seem a little confused towards the end there. You find lesbians 'ugly' as an aberration of nature (which does no harm to you, even if that's what lesbianism is), and yet you find them perfectly pleasant to hang out with? You hope some people will grow up to be decent? Do you not see a little disconnect here? Don't answer that - I'm sure you're right and I just need to do some catching up.

    Maty - yeah, you're about right.

  91. Anonymous Coward
    Linux

    Parthenogenesis

    WOW .... and on a Monday !

    It approximately means VIRGIN BIRTH !! Well, fuck me Jesus !!!

    Mostly occurring in lower level species (I didn't say that was appropriate in the current situation!!) and probably means that you well might land up with a vegetable !! Now, isn't that what some are saying about the outcome of a child being brought up by two 'parents' of the same sex?

    Bit more of a carrot than the whole turnip !

  92. Anonymous Coward
    Gates Halo

    oops ... appologies to Sarah Bee

    I said that you hadn't passed my post of late Friday through to the list.

    Down on my knees I say, "Sorry Sarah, it IS in the list and I will go for an eye test later"

  93. Secretgeek
    Unhappy

    I would write a proper comment...

    ...but seriously all I can do is shake my head at the multitude of fucked up, misinformed, conservative, tabloid, lowest common denominator, backwards opinions that have been voiced here. I shake my head at you El Reg commenters I really do.

    Medal to you Sarah Bee for putting up with it.

  94. Anonymous Coward
    Linux

    Time to go home, ... but ...

    @Sarah Bee ... 'I'm not convinced that much of this is 'tongue in cheek', as you assert. '

    I did say 'hope' .. that they are ...' I didn't 'assert' --- (ducks for cover !!)

    @Sarah Bee ... 'You seem a little confused towards the end there.'

    ... '.... yet you find them perfectly pleasant to hang out with?'

    I am not confused, although I may admit to being confusing. Perhaps I try to say too much in not enough space, but if I expanded it out, who would listen anyway? :) The older I become, the less confused my take on what's important to me.

    As for hanging out --- well --- The BBQ was at my house on Saturday evening (40 people). In our part of the road we do this monthly to raise money for charities. I was doing a slow smoochy dance with a lesbian lady when I was tapped on the shoulder by a male homosexual wanting to butt in. I told him that I didn't think she was his type, but to no avail. She looks stunning and is a fabulous dancer and he is better looking than me (spit) and is a much better dancer than me (spit) --- they looked great together, which I found to be both wonderful and sad at one and the same time.

    @Secretgeek ...... If we and our comments are all fucked up, misinformed, conservative, tabloid, lowest common denominator, backwards opinions ever voiced here .... I suppose that we can assume that you are unfucked (sad --- try washing now and then), fully and properly (accuratey) informed, lefty, broadsheet, unresolved, with the most forward opinions ever FAILED TO BE VOICED HERE !!!

    So, I am grateful that you aren't in charge, or the rest of us would not be permitted any opinion which fails to be identical to yours. Fairly typical of extreme leftists, in my experience !!

  95. Secretgeek
    Flame

    @ Time to go home...

    You assume too much. But then that seems to be the problem with pretty much all of your arguments on this subject.

    P.S. Oh and just so you know the use of capitals like that is generally considered a bit shouty (not to mention the multiple !'s)

    P.P.S. Why am I even bothering to reply? Your comments seem, to me at least, to be so much trolling wrapped up in pretentiousness Damn it, now I've wasted another 30 seconds of my life typing this.

  96. This post has been deleted by its author

  97. lukewarmdog
    Paris Hilton

    Asking for trouble

    "check out my gorgeous girlfriends" etc.

    You really want this lot doing that?

  98. Anonymous Coward
    Badgers

    doh!

    why do people always want to see pcitures of Swedish Lesbians!?

    Do they not relaise Sweden has bus drivers or, is it just the 418 Kington to Epsom Service which has ....erm, well best not go there...

  99. Anonymous Coward
    WTF?

    Why a sperm bank?

    What ever happened to the good old turkey baster? Turkey baster babies were the hit when I was a lot younger.

  100. phoenix
    Grenade

    Man You Have Got to Love the First World

    Only here we have enough time and chance of life to get involved in crass words from both sides of the fence. It's not a case of growing up or being offended (whatever that actaully means or matters) it's the realisation that we are lucky to have the time and choice (not having to merely survive) to have these inane conversations.

  101. steogede

    @owaing

    >> I'm not sure about the detail of Swedish legislation, but I'm fairly sure that all couples would be entitled to fertility treatment equally now.

    >> The thing being that a gay male couple has plenty of sperm of their own, but nowhere to gestate it. I doubt they provide you with a free surrogate mother as "infertility treatment", but I could be wrong.

    I doubt it too. However the great thing about a sperm 'shortage' is that it allows men to leverage the value of their sperm. They could arrange a deal where both women receive fertility treatment and each couple receive a child - this put lesbian couples at an advantage as they (generally) have two uteri. Obviously the women lose out to some degree, as gestating and birthing a child is a lot more work than a wank. On the other hand both women receive the experience of pregnancy and child birth and beside both contributions are equal in the sense that without either there is no child. I'm not sure what would happen in the case of miscarriage which ofcourse happens frequently (though perhaps less so in IVF of healthy fertile women).

  102. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    whats the big deal?

    i believe that priority should be given to those that are having trouble to conceive rather than those who just want a baby. The title leads you to believe that these same sex couples are being allowed to use most of the stores up. In which case maybe its time for a rethink?

    maybe it would be possible to develop a way to perform artificial insemination themselves safely, that would knock down the wait quite a fair bit.

    As for the opinions on same sex couples with kids. So long as they are looked after and loved like every child deserves to be whats the problem with that? Just because its something different doesn't mean its wrong

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