back to article Vulture Central unleashes RegPad™

We at Vulture Central were a mite surprised to learn recently of the TechCrunch "CrunchPad", which has got the technosphere into a bit of a tizz with its promise of couch computing delivered via an 18mm aluminium chassis, Linux and "Webkit based browser". Actually, surprised isn't the half of it, because Vulture Central's …


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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I'm unfamiliar with some of the technologies employed here

    but will it play Crysis?

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    Biscuits and Porn

    Does it get any better?

    I'm sure there will be plenty of suggestions, but I feel that in this case, more would actually be less. Freeze the spec and ship the product.

  3. Will Godfrey Silver badge
    Thumb Up

    I want one!

    No, I want several.

    And the killer feature is....

    The biscuit dispenser!

    (hope they're all rich tea)

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    Gimme gimme gimme!

    I want one of those...

  5. Jacqui Smith's DVD Collection!
    Thumb Up


    ...will it be available with Chrome OS?

    We love you Lester. :D

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I want one

    So how many decades pre order for the stripped down production model :)

  7. Anonymous Coward


    Want one.



  8. Adam 48

    Is this true!

    I want one :D

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Lazy days

    Slow day in the office was it?

  10. Rodrigo 1


    Friday already?

  11. DrewHew
    Thumb Up


    Now El Reg just needs a like button (for when we're too lazy to actually comment that we enjoyed the article)

  12. frank ly

    A brilliant idea

    "(Please note that the RegPad Flex™ is not supplied with a biscuit-dispenser, for obvious technical reasons.)"

    Perhaps if they were pre-dunked in the coffee........?

  13. Simon C

    you were onto a winner

    until you mentioned phorm.

    /esc icon for obvious reasons.

  14. Thomas 4

    I'm sorry

    ...but these images are quite clearly photoshopped.

  15. Tony S

    slow news day?

    still, it made me laugh.

    Can I place an advance order for 4 of them?

  16. Tony 9

    Ha ha...

    Ha ha, hold on, it's Wednesday... :(

  17. GrahamT


    Shouldn't this be in Reg Hardware?

  18. Chris Miller

    Now you've done it

    My PHB wants me to get him one.

  19. Lottie
    Thumb Up



  20. EdwardP


    Need I say more?

  21. David Webb
    Jobs Horns

    Dear Sirs

    Dear Sirs, we at Apple have patented this design, with patents dated 10th July 2010, and hereby fortwith thereby demand you remove these products from sale posthaste, immediatly, without undue delay, now, as we believe you are infringing on our product, the iWantone.



  22. Geeks and Lies

    Umbungo OS...

    Was it developed in the Congo?

  23. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up


    I salute you.

    Can I pre-order/

  24. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Hold on- where is she?

    Everyone knows the reason the Eee was so successful was that the Reg only ever featured the netbook with it's beach-loving best friend.

    If you want to dominate the World, the RegPad will also need its own nubile handler. Have you seen if Paris is available for photos and fondling?

  25. Mike Moyle

    I *SO* want one of these, but... 20 MP web-cam?

    ...and can it be hacked to run OS XI?

  26. Elmer Phud

    Well 'Ard Drive?

    Owing to the pliable nature of the device will there be the usual 5TB fag-packet sized drive in weapons-grade titanium?

    Slapping a cow-orker in the pub with a floppy computer is O.K. but there are occasions where a matching blunt instrument would be more appropriate.

    (Also easier to hold for Ms Campbell)

  27. Benny

    Can I upgrade

    to choccy hobnobs?

  28. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge
    Thumb Up

    Where's the damned tea!?!?!

    This is an excellent idea, and I heartily congratulate you! I would like to place orders for 5.

    However I am shocked that this unit has a coffee button. I need tea dammit! Coffee is only a necessity when you've run out of caffeine pills or have a nice cigar to hand.

    Also I've noticed that we've got a beer icon, but where's the tea?

  29. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    I hope it it IP65 full compliant!

    I has to be full-waterproof, coffeproof, droolproof (boring meetings). And it should self-recharge like an automatic swiss wristwatch. Etherkiller(tm) as gift inside the package!

    I WANT!

  30. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge

    First Splash Flash Fast Cash Machinery .... and bound to be bound and huge in China

    Now that is what I would call ... Shockingly Awesome Spaceware. And if it doesn't take off like a Korean rocket, and Capture and make Captive All Native Markets, well, I'm a dDutchman.

    And is Mandy f**king %*#! and Meez Campbell's bitch? ...... a hot question for all the lightweight readers and sniffers and fluffers and lurkers.

    Nice One, El Reg, ........ Straight out of the Blue Cloud with Zero Recognisable Radar Signature .... Super Sub Atomic Stealth by Anyone's Definition.

    The RegPad .... AIReal Manpad.

  31. Zargof


    What types of biscuit is the dispenser compatable with? From the pics it looks like it will support the industry standard digestive, but what about more exotic types like custard cream and ginger nut?

  32. Stu

    Look this is ridiculous...

    ...I'm having terrible trouble believing all this, Its some kind of a joke, right? I mean how can you expect anybody to believe this!? Utterly up-in-the-air. Total Whacko Jacko (RIP).

    You see I'd expect the biscuits to come included for that flippin price!




    Aaaahh you see what I did there!? ;-)

    Time for Beer.

  33. Rob Daglish


    NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW is when I'l like one please, unless someone has a handy time machine to deliver it even earlier?

    Thanks el reg for brightening up an otherwise dull and awful day.

  34. Anonymous Coward

    Bacon sarnie?

    Is there a veggie option?

  35. anarchic-teapot

    Hmmmm... extremely tempting, but...

    I'll wait for the Smartphone. You know, the one with a 'Pub' mode that changes your voicemail message to "I'm working late on a really important project right now..."

  36. Jacob Reid

    Where can I get one?

    And how much money do you want?



    Thank you thank you Reg! Long time no such laugh! Ржунимагу!


  38. Annihilator

    Biscuits and porn

    Soggy Biscuit anyone?

    That is all...

  39. Pontiff
    Thumb Up

    I want several

    But, a slimline biscuit dispenser? Does this mean there's no room for a Jaffa cake?

  40. Mussie (Ed)


    Reg PAD.....

    Do something for the ladies of IT, Make it absorbent and put wings on it

  41. weirdcult

    @ Pontiff

    Do we have to do this again? A Jaffa Cake is not a biscuit!! It is a cake hence the name Jaffa "Cake"

    That is all.

  42. Mr Larrington


    I am crying with laughter and people are giving me Funny Looks.

  43. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge

    Kudos given where Kudos is deserved.

    The Universal Instantly Recognisable SurReal Unoffensive Ambiguity of the Porn Icon is worthy of a Prize all of its Own. :-) And it is no surprise I suppose, that it is in a Prime Control Position at the Top of the Device.

  44. Rod MacLean

    I want one

    ...but not until they can be folded up and turned into hats.

    Being a little bit bendy is not enough.

    <- Grammar Nazi becuase he is wearing a hat

  45. HaplessPoet
    IT Angle

    Something is Missing Shirley?

    I do not see the works "DON'T PANIC!" anywhere.

    Also I am concerned because there appears to be an IT angle. Shirley some mistake?

  46. CD001


    pint o' beer, biccies and creampie - what more can you ask for?

  47. Matthew 3

    those bloody grey bars...

    Nice to see even you guys find them annoying...

  48. Miguel Farah
    Thumb Down

    "Boss key" on the right-hand side? FAIL!!!

    The "Abort porn website surfing and return to SFW mode" should be on the lefthand side, not where it's currently located. Need I spell out the reasons for this?

    Or is the leftie minority trying to discriminate against us, the righthanded majority?

  49. disgruntled yank

    a couple of suggestions

    One parochial: if you're going to break into the US market you need to replace the "bacon sarnie" function with something more American. Over Here, British cooking is known only to be loathed, and sarnies have not got even that far.

    One functional: surely El Reg can get a DARPA grant to implement the biomass-fueled technology and so

    a. break free of battery dependence. On long flights one could then actually have a use for airline food. Or, if airline food really isn't biomass (not clear), perhaps sensitive bits from the guy in front who jacks his seat back into your knees.

    b. It could serve also as a desk-scavenger, cleaning up the crumbs and such that accumulate around many a tech's working area.

  50. Alan Ferris

    Can I be the first ?

    What, no Linux option?

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