back to article BOFH: A spot of bother

It's a bloody Friday afternoon. People should know not to bother us when all we're wanting is a slow glide to the weekend... >ring< "Our system isn't working." "Really," the PFY says, putting his newspaper down with a sigh. "What system is that then?" "The one which does the ticker tape thing at the bottom of my web." " …


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  1. Darren Murphy


    It reminds me of some of his original outings where he used to mentally torture uni/college students to death to get rid of them, will the lusers never learn!!!!

    Mines the one with the blackmail evidence in the inside pocket( a copy of course the originals are safe)

  2. Jamie Kephalas


    NOW, it feels like friday!

    Next on my agenda...

  3. Annihilator
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    But what's wrong with the financial ticker system!! I need closure!!

    Good episode though - love it as ever :-)

  4. Anonymous Coward
    IT Angle

    Here's to a slow glide to the weekend...

    Ahh BOFH imitates reality once again. Users always insist they've not changed anything... except possibly installing certain Vodafone USB modem drivers...

  5. Gerrit Tijhof

    Shere genius!

    Canine Herpes: I don't even want to knów what mind that came of.

  6. The Repulsive Monkey

    Simple and splendid

    There may have been no on page fatalities but this was BOFH at his insidious best

  7. Fred 24

    Suggestion for BOFH gadgets:

    I'm surprised he doesn't have tens machines fitted to some of the helldesk staff: automated idiots?!?

    By my calculations you'd need 55 tens machines to fully automate a person, and with a suitable radio trigger could make friday afternoons a better place.

    I for one would pay to watch 'automated smackdown...helldesk versus cow' or similar...

    Its been a loong day here already!

  8. Richard Jukes

    Talk about timing!

    A good BOFH was exactly what I needed on this dull depressing friday :) And not a moment too soon too!

    Cheers Simon!

  9. Matt B


    Had me laughing all the way through (again)! Thanks Simon!

  10. Geeks and Lies


    Friday just isn’t the same without the BOFH. Another literary masterpiece

  11. Anonymous Coward
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    OH YES

    Now THAT inspired a much needed laugh. HAPPY WEEKEND MATES!!

  12. lorenzo

    Since when do help desk answer phones?

    Ours don't even ring

    Faster, Simon, Faster

    Beers, cos I'v ebeen in the pub already, hic!

  13. Tim Schomer


    Now I feel like the weekend's begun.

    ... tho' you owe me a keyboard now, managed to miss the screen this time. :-D

  14. Norm DePlume
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    Has any one noticed the ads by google?

    They seem to have taken on the theme of man's best^H^H^H^H just good friend.

  15. Dave Lawton

    Only a spot ?

    It's that Friday again, why does it feel like forever since the last BOFH.

    More often PLEASE

  16. Toastan Buttar


    Just like old times. Now all we need is for Viz to be as funny as it used to be and all's well in the universe.

    A pint for Simon !

  17. Sulehir
    Thumb Up

    Thank you

    I needed this to survive what is otherwise turning out to be the dullest Friday in the history of mankind.

  18. A 16
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    Loved it!

    Cheers Simon, as enjoyable as ever!

  19. YumDogfood

    Internal phone systems before caller ID were fun

    "Battersea dogs home?"


    (for real, in my misspent youth).

  20. Mark Lockwood


    You owe my company ANOTHER new keyboard

  21. Kevin Fields
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    It's still mid-morning here in the USA but this made my day! Happy (belated) Canada Day to my neighbors to the north, Happy Independence Day to all us Americans, and everybody else have a great weekend as well! Thanks Simon!

  22. Dex


    on the same day i get my net back....Virgin i'm looking at you....We get BOFH too.....Must be God's Work

  23. SigKill
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    "You know I'm BOFH, I'm BOFH..."

    Nice reference to Michael Jackson (R.I.P.) in the title.

    A fitting homage to the late great artist.

    "The doggone girl is mine..."

  24. Anonymous Coward
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    just what I needed before heading off to bed (it's late here in the antipodes)

  25. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

    Re: "You know I'm BOFH, I'm BOFH..."

    I was only a week late with that one. But y'know, got there in the end.

    Really, really BOFH.

  26. Anonymous Coward

    Corect response from user?

    "O that is what's done it. Okay I'll just reverse what it is I have done." <Click>

    That should get an emergency response from BOFH

  27. Matt 53
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    There is some truth in this though, i get more calls on a friday pm than any other time. all trivial. or theyve had the problem all week. and they all suddenly NEED it sorted by the weekend. grrr

  28. Mike Howell

    Canine herpes

    So how low can you get?

    A Chihuahua but it hurts my knees.

  29. Clinton


    Absolutely brilliant. And I'm even getting used to this monthly schedule.

  30. This post has been deleted by its author

  31. Vincent Ballard
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    Best one this year. Just one thing though: a Java applet for a news ticker? Shouldn't that be JavaScript with AJAX?

  32. Dalen

    I wonder...

    ... how long until someone releases a Win32.CanineHerpes Trojan?

  33. Douglas Norton

    How dare you

    I had to be somewhere five minutes ago, and now I am late because I just had to read this. bastards.

  34. Lykofos
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    Sounds like something I have done...

    Classic BOFH! Not to mention, this sounds like something me and my fellow co-workers did at a previous job.

  35. tim 4

    "win32.k9herpeeeses.trojan" exists!

    it's being sold by the beast of redmond as "windows 7" , and you'll even pay to get infected! escape key, because you can't......

  36. skeptical i


    "What do you mean, different browser?"

    Gads, I reflexively asked "Did you double click the blue 'e' or the white 'N' to get online?" as I read this (some demons will never be purged) ... clearly need more beer ... and a pint for that Simon chap down the bar for serving lusers up properly. :D

  37. Francis Offord

    Bats From Our Hell (?)

    Why state the glaringly obvious. This is totally normal helpline procedure from my observation, not limited to Fiday afternoons.

  38. Anonymous Coward
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    Didn't get to see this on Friday but brilliant as always Simon. BTW yes this is normal helldesk procedure and not limited to Friday afternoons.

  39. mittfh

    What this comment icon was designed for...


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