back to article Australia's 'answer to the velociraptor' unveiled

Australian media report that three "new dinosaurs" have been discovered at a "prehistoric billabong dating back 95 million years". Aussie paleontologists have stated uncompromisingly that their down-under dinos would easily win in a fight with soft poofter aeons-dead antediluvian lizards from other, less fortunate nations. In …

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  1. Lee 31
    Coat

    "A Wintonensis

    has been dubbed "Banjo" by the Queensland authorities"

    A particular British Winton was dubbed "Banjo String" for far more sinister reasons...

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Joke

    If they were bigger and better...

    .. how come they died sooner?

  3. Tawakalna

    transportation?

    How do they know that these weren't actually British dinosaurs who emigrated there for better weather and prospects, or criminal dinosaurs transported there against their will for stealing iguanadon eggs?

    As dinosaurs were first discovered (ok identified) in Britain, it's clear that dinosaurs are in fact (mostly) British, and that all other dinosaurs are colonial descendants or inferior foreign dinosaurs that could only be communicated with by roaring very loudly and slowly.

    the Moon is British too.

    all of these icons and not a single dinosaur or Union Jack icon to be found

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    You know spielberg ....

    He doubled the size of the raptors to make them look impressive.

  5. Martin 47
    FAIL

    pffft

    Fancy not knowing who Banjo Patterson was, you will be saying next that you have never heard of Henry Lawson either

  6. Mike Richards Silver badge

    @ Anonymous Coward and @ Spielberg while I'm about it

    'He doubled the size of the raptors to make them look impressive.'

    He did, then the palaeontologists went and uncovered Utahraptor which stood up to 2m tall and is best described as combined the cuddly nature of the great white shark with the contents of Gordon Ramsey's knife rack.

  7. Les Matthew

    It doesn't quite work

    Tie me Australovenator Wintonensis down sport.

  8. Jonathan Richards 1 Silver badge
    Boffin

    Name calling

    > Australovenator Wintonensis

    The correct form for a Linnean taxonomic binomial is to capitalize the genus, and leave the species in lower case.

    Thus: Gyps himalayensis. Or whatever.

  9. Darren B 1
    Coat

    This Austrian Lovenator

    Bruno will be proud

  10. Flocke Kroes Silver badge

    What big arms you have Grandmother

    If you look at a whole T Rex, the arms look small. If you visit the natural history museum and walk up to the arm bones mounted on the wall, they are impressively big - even if you are 6'5".

  11. VoodooForce
    Happy

    @Tawakalna

    "How do they know that these weren't actually British dinosaurs who emigrated there for better weather and prospects, or criminal dinosaurs transported there against their will for stealing iguanadon eggs?"

    There's no evidence of excessive dinosaur whining "its not like that TV show Neighbours is it!!!"

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Joke

    Obviously they needed longer arms...

    ...cos a T. Rex would get horribly burned trying to turn a brontosaurus steak on the barbie with those tiny little ones.

  13. Mark 65
    FAIL

    FYI

    The Courier Mail is a complete arse-rag of a publication with Daily Mail style "this is scandalous" empty rhetoric and pointless rambling articles. The grammar and spelling are typically atrocious with articles looking like the result of a pissed browse of Wikipedia combined with a hint of Googling. Facts are innocent bystanders. The "journalists" employed therein would appear to be a product of the equally atrocious Queensland state education system.

  14. Will 28

    Australovenator?

    Wasn't that Arnie's name when he was doing softcore porn?

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Grenade

    @ VoodooForce

    "There's no evidence of excessive dinosaur whining "its not like that TV show Neighbours is it!!!""

    It's definitely a true blue Aussie dinosaur...when the bones were being checked they found a very large chip on its shoulder.

  16. Anonymous Coward
    Grenade

    No, these are Aussie dinos

    They also found evidence of a crashed vehicle, 48 empty containers of something called "Lava-lager" and some primitive Dino-roo shooting weapons....

  17. Marvin the Martian
    Flame

    Australian? So presumably...

    It's deadly poisonous as well?

  18. Bear

    It was too much to expect...

    Since they named one "Clancy" and the other "Banjo", one might have been foolish enough to think that Wintonensis was a reference to the West Australian novelist Tim Winton. But this would require:

    1. these guy actually reading novels, and

    2. look beyond Queensland.

    Silly me. Winton is a place in Qld...

  19. Anonymous Coward
    Happy

    @Tawakalna

    Darn right. Also you can tell they're not British dinos, because when they arrived on the Qantas flight the whining sound stopped when they turned the engines off. Which isn't the sound that you hear when the plane is full of backpackers and holidaymakers.

  20. Anonymous Coward
    Welcome

    What's in a name

    I for one welcome the use of Banjo, Clancy and Matilda to name things uniquely Australian.

  21. Ydo Ibother

    Clancy

    FWIW, "Clancy of the Overflow" was a poem by Banjo P.

  22. phoenix
    Boffin

    @ Jonathan Richards

    Partially correct understanding of Linnean binomial nomenclature.

    You are correct in stating the genus first letter should be capitalized, however the second part of the name is more correctly known as the specific epithet this together with the genus names the species.

    Pendant interject over.

  23. TeeCee Gold badge

    Big arms?

    T-Rex arms look a deal less silly when you see a rendition of a T-Rex done since they figured out that they have had dino-porkiness rather exaggerated in the past, due to using the wrong algorithm for estimating overall mass from the skeletal structure. This was discovered recenty when somebody applied the accepted method to an elephant skeleton and found that the buggers came out as damned nearly spherical.

    What we're used to is apparently the paleontological equivalent of the Segway owner's club.

    All those icons and no dino fat bastard. What an oversight.

  24. Anonymous Coward
    FAIL

    Deinonychus not Velociraptor

    Geez. Velociraptors were fairly small - the one's in Jurrassic Park were actually Deinonychus, but that name didn't sound vicious enough for Crichton.

    The Queensland Courier-Mail sounds like a top quality rag.

  25. Jan 7 Silver badge
    Welcome

    Why they died earlier:

    Very easy: unlike all other australian species they were not poisonous like hell.

    Welcome, pretty welcome to Autralia, where even the stone try to bite you.

  26. S Larti
    Coat

    "That isn't a velociraptor..."

    "THIS is a velociraptor!"

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